Are you a Gorean with disabilities ?

Collarchat.com

Create a
Free Account

As the Collar Turns:

Collarchat.com - BDSM Forum

Home Login Search

Espanol

Deutsch

Francais

Italiano

Portugues

Are you a Gorean with disabilities ?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Gorean Lifestyles >> Are you a Gorean with disabilities ?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

[Poll]

Are you a Gorean with disabilities ?

Are you a Free Man who considers he has a disability?

33% (5)

Are you a Free Woman who considers she has a disability?

20% (3)

Are you a kajira who considers she has a disability ?

40% (6)

Are you a kajirus who considers he has a disability ?

6% (1)

Total Votes : 15

(last vote on : 3/18/2010 5:24:52 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Are you a Gorean with disabilities ? - 8/19/2009 7:21:26 AM

AnthaofTabor

Posts: 20
Status: offline

Tal and Greetings,

After spending some time reading the Goreans with disabilities - support and advice thread, I started to wonder how many of us, would consider we have a disability. I will use the following definition of what is a disability taken from the UK's Disability Discrimination Act - DDA

What is a Disability:

The Disability Discrimination Act (DDA) defines a disabled person as someone who has a physical or mental impairment that has a substantial and long-term adverse effect on his or her ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities.

For the purposes of the Act:

substantial means neither minor nor trivial
long term means that the effect of the impairment has lasted or is likely to last for at least 12 months (there are special rules covering recurring or fluctuating conditions)
normal day-to-day activities include everyday things like eating, washing, walking and going shopping
a normal day-to-day activity must affect one of the 'capacities' listed in the Act which include mobility, manual dexterity, speech, hearing, seeing and memory

Some conditions, such as a tendency to set fires and hay fever, are specifically excluded.
People who have had a disability in the past that meets this definition are also covered by the scope of the Act. There are additional provisions relating to people with progressive conditions.
The DDA 2005 amended the definition of disability. It ensured that people with HIV, cancer and multiple sclerosis are deemed to be covered by the DDA effectively from the point of diagnosis, rather than from the point when the condition has some adverse effect on their ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities.

Although I would like to keep the results as anonymous as possible - if you wish to post an entry re your disability please do so.

I wish you well

Antha

Post #: 1

RE: Are you a Gorean with disabilities ? - 8/19/2009 6:28:14 PM

Dinnardin

Posts: 387
Joined: 1/9/2007
Status: offline

It would seem that without the options of marking as being any of the 4 categories WITHOUT a disability, you are doing a disservice to those who do mark an answer, and skew the results significantly

John, AKA Dinnardin

(in reply to AnthaofTabor)

Post #: 2

RE: Are you a Gorean with disabilities ? - 8/20/2009 12:26:33 PM

AnthaofTabor

Posts: 20
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dinnardin

It would seem that without the options of marking as being any of the 4 categories WITHOUT a disability, you are doing a disservice to those who do mark an answer, and skew the results significantly

John, AKA Dinnardin

Tal Dinnardin,

I disagree with your statement. Were the purpose of my poll to collect statistical information on the percentage of disabled people amongst the Gorean community, then yes I would have worded it differently to, include categories for non-disabled people to record this information.

However, my thinking behind the poll was merely to ask people to declare, anonymously, if they felt they had a disability, to show that having a disability does not preclude people from being Gorean.

I have spoken to some lasses who feel that they would not be able to move from being a bdsm sub to being a kajira, because in Gor there are no limits, except those that the Owner/Master imposes. I have had some approach me and say 'I have limits imposed medically that I need to have respected or accepted'.

The purpose of my poll is to show that it is possible to be Gorean, and even a Gorean kajira, and have medical issues or disabilities.

I do understand your query and question though.

I wish you well,

Antha

(in reply to Dinnardin)

Post #: 3

RE: Are you a Gorean with disabilities ? - 8/20/2009 3:22:35 PM

LarabysLair

Posts: 156
Joined: 5/29/2008
Status: offline

5/E) None of the above. Free man with no disability here. My slave angel, however, is a paraplegic but she does not consider herself to really have a disability. On the other hand, it's all in how one sees themselves. She can only get around in a wheelchair, but she gets around quite fine. I do think she's the strongest slave I know. She serves me better than any other has. So, she has me convinced there's no disability, just a different ability.

Wishing everyone well,

LL
editted for bad typology. :)

< Message edited by LarabysLair -- 8/20/2009 3:23:20 PM >

(in reply to AnthaofTabor)

Post #: 4

RE: Are you a Gorean with disabilities ? - 8/20/2009 3:54:11 PM

AnthaofTabor

Posts: 20
Status: offline

Tal LL,

Thank you for posting you and your slave's positive attitude - I especially like the phrase "different ability"

I have done a lot of work within the field of disability and equal rights in the UK and it is amazing that quite often the biggest disability encounted by people with a disability is that of other's ignorance and discrimination.

It has also been said that the abilities of a disabled person are sometimes unseen as a result of discrimination. Take the 'dis' (short for discrimation) out of the word 'disability', and you're left with 'ability'. In other words, don't discriminate and you'll see what the disabled person can do, rather than what they can't.

I wish you both well

Antha

(in reply to LarabysLair)

Post #: 5

RE: Are you a Gorean with disabilities ? - 8/20/2009 7:52:21 PM

Saffleur

Posts: 247
Joined: 8/14/2006
From: Lenoir NC
Status: offline

Tal Antha,

I don't consider myself as having a disability albeit many consider what I have disabling.

I have the inherited form of lymphedema. It is a long-term...life-long that is, condition that does not make my day any easier. I have to do some extra things that "normal" people don't but I get by just fine.

I wish you well,
Scott

_____________________________

When we see men of worth, we should think of equaling them; when we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inward and examine ourselves.

(in reply to AnthaofTabor)

Post #: 6

RE: Are you a Gorean with disabilities ? - 8/20/2009 9:07:57 PM

bondmaid123

Posts: 132
Joined: 6/6/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AnthaofTabor
I have spoken to some lasses who feel that they would not be able to move from being a bdsm sub to being a kajira, because in Gor there are no limits, except those that the Owner/Master imposes. I have had some approach me and say 'I have limits imposed medically that I need to have respected or accepted'.

Hay fever imposes limits. So do lots of other things which are not covered under the law. I'm pale skinned. This creates limits for me... and has absolutely diddly to do with whether I am in a M/s relationship or not.

~a bondmaid

(in reply to AnthaofTabor)

Post #: 7

RE: Are you a Gorean with disabilities ? - 8/20/2009 11:25:52 PM

Hiskajirah

Posts: 929
Joined: 1/9/2008
Status: offline

Greetings Mistress

This one has to respect your inquiry. She has come across many female who feel because they are disabled or ill that they would not make a good slave. She disagrees (it depends on the girl and the mindset) She has also met men who are afflicted that are every bit a man as the next man who isn't disabled. Sometimes even more so.

She hopes you find the information and numbers that you seek,
Sincerely,
~twinkle

_____________________________

"Do not try to force me to be what you want me to be! Accept me for what I want to be,&am!—one who knows she belongs at the feet of men!&desires to be at the feet of men!-their slave!!—their loving slave!” Witness
www.CRPSAdvisory.com

(in reply to bondmaid123)

Post #: 8

RE: Are you a Gorean with disabilities ? - 8/21/2009 4:28:29 AM

AnthaofTabor

Posts: 20
Status: offline

Tal Scott,

Thank you for your reply to this thread.

Very often when one is born with a condition (congenital) or has had it a long time, others seem to forget that the person with the condition, know their condition, limitations (if any) best and are often rather inventive at thinking outside the box to make adjustments in coping with any potentially negative aspects of the said condition.

You said this in your post :

quote:

ORIGINAL: Saffleur

I have to do some extra things that "normal" people don't but I get by just fine.

I

I think sometimes people do not realise that dispite having challenges or disabilities having these - especially if they are born with them or have them long term are "normal" for them and something they just adapt and cope with.

I wish you well

Antha

(in reply to Saffleur)

Post #: 9

RE: Are you a Gorean with disabilities ? - 8/21/2009 5:04:16 AM

AnthaofTabor

Posts: 20
Status: offline

Greetings bondmaid,

The original Disability Discrimination Act 1995, was later ammended in 2005 to take into account some other conditions which were not previously covered by the earlier Act, most notably it now includes people with HIV, cancer and multiple sclerosis are deemed to be covered by the DDA effectively from the point of diagnosis, rather than from the point when the condition has some adverse effect on their ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities.

The Act does not just cover employment issuse but all areas where discrimination is likely to take place. One of these areas would be private clubs. Which might well impact on the BDSM /Gorean community at least within the UK.

The DDA act is relatively new within the UK and I am sure as with many Acts it will be added to and fleshed out with case law which may impact on it.

Although primarily my poll was to show that having a disability does not preclude people from being Gorean, as with all things that may or may not affect a M/s relationship be it BDSM or Gorean, it is vital that both parties communicate openly and discuss any relevant issues.

I wish you well

Antha

(in reply to bondmaid123)

Post #: 10

RE: Are you a Gorean with disabilities ? - 8/21/2009 5:11:37 AM

AnthaofTabor

Posts: 20
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hiskajirah

Greetings Mistress

This one has to respect your inquiry. She has come across many female who feel because they are disabled or ill that they would not make a good slave. She disagrees (it depends on the girl and the mindset) She has also met men who are afflicted that are every bit a man as the next man who isn't disabled. Sometimes even more so.

She hopes you find the information and numbers that you seek,
Sincerely,
~twinkle

Greetings twinkle,

Thank you for your response to this thread.

I too hope that others find this useful information,

That it might also give heart to any who are worried about health issues, that it does not necessarily preclude them from their choosen path.

I wish you well

Antha

(in reply to Hiskajirah)

Post #: 11

RE: Are you a Gorean with disabilities ? - 8/21/2009 5:15:38 AM

AnthaofTabor

Posts: 20
Status: offline

Tal and Greetings all

I shall be off line for a couple of days - due to a busy weekend and my usual computer problems.

Thank you to those who have already participated in this poll and discussion.

I will respond to anymore postings when next on line

I wish you all well and a wonderful weekend

Antha

< Message edited by AnthaofTabor -- 8/21/2009 5:20:23 AM >

(in reply to AnthaofTabor)

Post #: 12

RE: Are you a Gorean with disabilities ? - 8/21/2009 7:29:59 AM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
Status: offline

Whether or not someone can be Gorean or not or even a slave or not has NOTHING to do with their physical abilities or whether or not they are sick or whatever it is general described as a disability.    However, if someone feels something will hinder them from 1) identifying with Gorean or 2) being a slave to someone, to me, we shouldn't be patting them on the head saying ohhh come on sure you can. Because to me, to do this, takes away the very concept of what it means to BE Gorean and that is your self-identification and knowledge of being Gorean. IF someone allows something to hinder them from identifying as Gorean my way of thinking is don't let the door hit you, most Goreans could care less if someone who is weak and concentrated on their disability that they allow it to effect and hinder their being Gorean, then they DON'T GET IT and yep, i agree, they CANNOT be Gorean or a slave.

For people to try and say ohh come on sure you can, to me takes away the very foundation of part of what being Gorean is -- the ABILITY to achieve instead of saying i can't. That is where strength is -- not in others patting you on the head and saying -- okay dear, i know you really want to be and i am just here to tell you that you can even though you think you can't.   Gorean isn't a pity party of attempting to conjole those who think they can't into thinking they can be or will be.

Women who wish to be slaves, again, if they are going to allow what they deem a disability to hinder them from seeking what they feel they need -- a master or to be owned, then i don't believe its up to the Gorean Community to pat them on the head and say ohhh no you can. I mean hell people we have a Disability thread, if they are incapable of reading that and feeling they CAN'T be Gorean or be a slave after doing so, then sorry i will be the first on to agree with them and say -- you are right, you can't. Now go find something you believe you can do.   Because you are no different from anyone else who has worked or chosen to do the work involved in understanding and living as they identify -- Gorean, or being mastered and lacking in self-determination wherein you live in an environment where a Man sets the standards and expectations by which you live.

Personally, i think our society needs to stop making having DISABILITY a concept of identification. I think it allows people to focus too much on the DISABILITY instead of on what they can do.

Catering to certain people because they want to feel sorry for themselves because oh dear they have been told they have a disability which labels them as different and a concept of NOT ABLE to me even indirectly doing so as i see this thread doing is a concept of pity and an attempt to make everything fair and equal so they don't feel they can't.  I know too many people who have risen above their "disability" and hell many of them live better and more fulfilling lives than i do at the moment. How the hell is THAT disabled. But they also don't do pity parties or focus on what they can't do they focus on what they can and most of them have achieved what they have wanted despite society labeling them as NOT ABLE.

To focus on those that don't want too (yeah, those making excuses as to why they can't be Gorean) to me is not Gorean so why would Goreans waste their time with these people because society has said well they are NOT ABLE or different. No, sorry, that concept to me hinders people not helps them. Goreans aren't into pitying those who already are by their own mind defeated.

This kind of thing irritates me because i could have easily been "disabled" my whole life but my mom refused to tell me i COULDN"T do something even though the doctors all told her i would have major limitations in my life -- none of those limitations came true outside of a few nusances because i didn't KNOW i was supposed to be NOT ABLE. Why would people remotely cater to someone who doesn't think they can be Gorean or a slave just because they are omg no way -- labeled disabled or feel they have a disability.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 8/21/2009 7:43:49 AM >

_____________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to AnthaofTabor)

Post #: 13

RE: Are you a Gorean with disabilities ? - 8/21/2009 1:40:29 PM

sweetgirlserves

Posts: 257
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Personally, i think our society needs to stop making having DISABILITY a concept of identification. I think it allows people to focus too much on the DISABILITY instead of on what they can do.

angel

angel...
Your post above was excellent. The only thing I would disagree with is the point I copied above... unfortunately, our society has/had to be trained that just because people have a disability, doesn't mean they aren't capable of performing as a fully functioning member of the society.

I don't think the focus is so much for the people themselves who are disabled... but for the people who aren't disabled (ie. hiring managers, coworkers, etc) to not restrict them in any way.

I don't think society, in general, is 'there' yet... so I don't see the focus going away any time soon.

~sgs

< Message edited by sweetgirlserves -- 8/21/2009 1:42:28 PM >

_____________________________

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." ~Maya Angelou

(in reply to barelynangel)

Post #: 14

RE: Are you a Gorean with disabilities ? - 8/21/2009 4:02:31 PM

Maahsatti

Posts: 2579
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline

Greetings Antha,

Niuce topic, a bit off the normal track, which in itself is nice.

Anyone, Free or slave can and are Gorean.
Do they need special treatment or to be coddled?...No...Do they need to be recognized for their certain disability when appropriate?...Yes.
It does no body any good to coddle them for having to work harder or more creatively.
It DOES do a person good to be told once and a damned while, they they are doing good and are pleasing. Heck, even those who would consider themselves with no disability likes to hear that once and awhile.
Again, good topic.
I wish you well,
Maahsatti.

_____________________________

Gorean women, whether slave or Free,know, that their simple presence, brings joy to men,and I cannot think but that this pleases them.
Outlaw of Gor, pg 54

(in reply to AnthaofTabor)

Post #: 15

RE: Are you a Gorean with disabilities ? - 8/23/2009 12:14:35 AM

Hiskajirah

Posts: 929
Joined: 1/9/2008
Status: offline

Greetings Master's
Greetings Mistresses
Greetings girls

She has to agree with something very important here - We have to focus on what we can do, not let what we cannot do rule our lives or alter our perception of what we are capable of.. Often times we dwell on what can't be accomplished instead of focusing on all that can. Am guilty of this. Won't go into details, most of you understand. twinkle thinks this just happens when we think we aren't as good as we once were, or we're so into serving, loving, caring, helping, as a mom, slave, wife etc and something changes what once was that we feel less worthy or incapable and from those emotions we fall even farther.

Believing in ourselves first and foremost will get us farther than most disabilities will ever hinder us.

Respectfully,
~twinkle

_____________________________

"Do not try to force me to be what you want me to be! Accept me for what I want to be,&am!—one who knows she belongs at the feet of men!&desires to be at the feet of men!-their slave!!—their loving slave!” Witness
www.CRPSAdvisory.com

(in reply to Maahsatti)

Post #: 16

RE: Are you a Gorean with disabilities ? - 8/23/2009 12:56:18 PM

AnthaofTabor

Posts: 20
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Maahsatti

Anyone, Free or slave can and are Gorean.
Do they need special treatment or to be coddled?...No...Do they need to be recognized for their certain disability when appropriate?...Yes.

Greetings Maahsatti,

Thank you for your reply to this thread.

I totally agree with the above quote - I know that people with disabilities actually "hate" being wrapped in cotton wool and welcome and face challenges daily. Yes praise and encouragement is welcomed by anyone when due and appropriate - but most disabled people I know would abhor "special" or "coddled" treatment.

Appologies for my delay in replying - I did say in my previous post I had a busy weekend planned here - I did not realise just how busy it would be.

On Saturday my FC Simon, proposed to me and we became engaged to be married. As you can imagine our thoughts have been rather distracted in our total happiness... *grins*

I wish you well

Antha

P.S. I will reply to other responses to this thread as soon as possible

< Message edited by AnthaofTabor -- 8/23/2009 12:58:05 PM >

(in reply to Maahsatti)

Post #: 17

RE: Are you a Gorean with disabilities ? - 8/23/2009 3:44:46 PM

Mitzie

Posts: 688
Joined: 9/20/2006
Status: offline

Antha

Congratulations to you both and hopefully we can all meet up soon

well wishes

Mitzie

_____________________________

"The free should not be slave, and the slave should not be free," he said. "I do not understand," she said. "Just as it is wrong for the properly free to be enslaved," he said, "so, too, it is wrong for the properly enslaved to be free."PoG

(in reply to AnthaofTabor)

Post #: 18

RE: Are you a Gorean with disabilities ? - 8/24/2009 1:03:52 AM

Maahsatti

Posts: 2579
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline

Congrats Antha, I wish you and your FC/Fiance all the best.
No worries on the time in which you got back to me.
There is a life out there that is much more worth living then to be strapped down in front of a computer screen.
While these boards, the Gorean boards inparticular at least imo,serves a useful purpose, it does not hold a candle to getting out there and enjoying an already too short of a life....lol.

IMO, God gave us so many wonderful things to explore and do in life, but not enough time in which to see and do them with.

Take care,
Maahsatti

_____________________________

Gorean women, whether slave or Free,know, that their simple presence, brings joy to men,and I cannot think but that this pleases them.
Outlaw of Gor, pg 54

(in reply to AnthaofTabor)

Post #: 19

RE: Are you a Gorean with disabilities ? - 8/24/2009 8:57:43 AM

AnthaofTabor

Posts: 20
Status: offline

Greetings Maashatti

Just a quick note of thanks for your congratulations as I am keen to keep this thread on topic - I will be emailing you on cm.

I wish you all the best

Antha

(in reply to Maahsatti)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Gorean Lifestyles >> Are you a Gorean with disabilities ?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2012

Collarchat.com is a member of the Free Speech Coalition

Terms of Service

0.281