Have a question

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

Have a question

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Have a question

Page: [1]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Have a question - 8/27/2004 6:21:15 AM

Posts: 14
Joined: 8/26/2004
Status: offline

i am new to the group and have a quick question. Hopefully i word it right. Everytime that my Dom corrects me, i begin to laugh. i know some people laugh when they are nervous, but i don't think that is the reason why i do it. i absolutely hate it when i do it and vow to change it and try my best, but low and behold the next time a correction comes up it happens again.

Does anyone have any ideas why it happens and how i can change it?

Thank you in advance,

ringlets

RE: Have a question - 8/27/2004 7:29:01 AM

Posts: 494
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline

Well if it isn't nerves or being uncomfortable then the question is what do you think is the cause? Is the idea of him being Dominant to you laughable, in that he seems to really be trying to force it rather than feeling it? You can't change something till you understand why it first exists.

(in reply to ringlets)

RE: Have a question - 8/27/2004 7:53:18 AM

stormiKnightBEAR

Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
Status: offline

It could be nerves.
It could be embarrassment at making the mistake and being "corrected or called on it".

To be corrected when you are trying so very hard to impress and please can have
several different effects depending on the person.

It could cause embarrassement as mentioned above.
It could be fact that it makes you realize you don't know as much as you thought.
It could be a touch of anger at someone correcting you that you might not truly know.

Or in stormi's case...... it cause a feeling of disappointment, in letting her Master down.
However, make no mistake....only one person can make stormi feel that way... Master.

Others.... usually get the kiss this girl's lily white...... rear end. LOL

If it's someone you are interested in ... it is most likely a touch of embarrassment this girl
would think.

Be well and Good luck,
stormi
property of Master Bear

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to ringlets)

RE: Have a question - 8/27/2004 9:54:01 AM

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

hello subbie/slv section:
I must step into your area a moment to make a comment,

1. The first question I would ask is if this is
the only time that you experiance uncontrolled
laughing or are there other situations in your
life not related to another persons actions that
cause you the same reaction that you really dident
notice but could be happening.

2. then I would ask if this emotional lability and
episodes of uncontrolled laughter match the emotion
being felt and do you also experiance uncontrolled
crying as well and does this only happen with another
person or in other situations not associated with anyone
but you still experiance uncontrolled laughing or crying.

3. then I would ask if you take any type of heart medicine or
cough medicine either priscribed or over the counter, or
have you ever had a stroke, or any type of head injury in your
past, or does this simply happen at
the correction of the Dom only, and I want you to watch
over a 48 hour period just when this happens either the
uncontrolled laughing or a uncontrolled crying and make
a note of it in a journal and what was happening when the
laughing or crying happened in detail. This could help in
better knowing if this is simply nerviousness or sumthing
physically more that might need to be checked.

there are natural hormones that cause a body to react
emotionally and trigger our bodys to react to such things
thru either crying or laughing and for sum sumthing as
simple as a presumed pressure can trigger the bodys
chemicals to such a reaction however, if you answered
yes to anyone of the three questions above I would suggest
for your own well being to have a check up if this is a
daily common occurance to see if you possibly have had a
small stroke or ALS or sum other neurologic disorder.
It is possible to have even sum neuronal damage from a
slap in the face or hit to the head or say a auto accident
or falling down on a iced side walk that was not pryorly
evaluated. Persons with this condition experiance uncontrolled
emotional outbursts or emotional leakage lets call it at
inappropriate responcive times or with various situations
that do not fit the responce of emotion and this is called
PBA and can make a sufferer of such sayy laugh at a funeral
or cry at the circus. It is very important that one knows
their physical well being befor entering into a Lifestyle
that can be trying on ones self physically and that espcially
holds thru for those whom might have extenuating circumstances
that bring them physically to the play time with a ability that
could be limiting. JMO

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)

RE: Have a question - 8/30/2004 11:42:18 AM

Posts: 14
Joined: 8/26/2004
Status: offline

Sorry I haven't responded earlier, been very busy lately.

I should have elaborated a bit more. I think afmvdp had it probably closer to what the problem is.

We have been married for 15 years and found the lifestyle about 3 years ago and it has been a very hard road for us to get going and to keep going. He was in the military and with all the seperations it was even harder to keep it going. Because of me being a military wife I had to be in control a lot of the time and now owning my own business it also makes it hard at times. Though he is out of the military, it is hard to keep the lines clearly defined for us. I run my business out of my home, hince I feel like I am at work all the time, so when he comes in and tells me to do something or corrects me on something I have done wrong it some times comes across all wrong, because I am in boss mode and that is when I begin to laugh. He is now retired from the military, so that isn't a factor anymore.

So, if anyone has any suggestions on how to keep the lines clearly defined when the submissive owns their own business? He also asks for suggestions on how to deal with me laughing when he does try to correct me?

With him standing over me....I know it is completely wrong to laugh at him and very disrespectful and I won't even add a but statement, I will just shut up and wait to hear from all of you that have suggestions for him or me.

Thank you and may your day be filled with smiles,

ringlets

(in reply to ringlets)

RE: Have a question - 8/30/2004 11:58:49 AM

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

Are you his sub 24/7 or is it mainly scening in the bedroom? If he corrects you during a scene do you laugh then? I don't have any advice for you but am curious to know more about your situation.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to ringlets)

RE: Have a question - 8/30/2004 12:00:47 PM

Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline

Being an independent woman myself, I can relate to what you are saying. Have you ever considered that maybe you and he do not fit with the 24/7 lifestyle? It is okay to not live that way and keep your D/s side for the weekends. You said it has been difficult for you--maybe you are pushing yourselves too much. I believe that you should communicate with your husband your distress in this matter and realign the roles and corrections. Maybe if you do something against his wishes, he could simply explain why and you both discuss it. JMO.

Good luck,
ann

(in reply to ringlets)

RE: Have a question - 8/30/2004 12:01:54 PM

Posts: 158
Joined: 1/5/2004
From: New York
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ringlets

*snip*

So, if anyone has any suggestions on how to keep the lines clearly defined when the submissive owns their own business? He also asks for suggestions on how to deal with me laughing when he does try to correct me?

*snip*

ringlets,

To state the obvious, has he tried immediately physical discipline, as in yank you over his lap and proceeding to spank/paddle/whip your ass until the laughing stops? A few applications of said treatment might very well do the trick. Some use a paddle, for this I would likely use a 3/8" black lexan rod - think of a mostly unbreakable (unless cold) flexible cane.

The key here would be for it to happen immediately. It should be a swift correction, one which leaves you breathless and your ass smarting for an hour or two.

Another method is the old soap in the mouth trick. You laugh, he takes you by the hair to the kitchen sink, shoves the nipple from the liquid dishwashing detergent into your mouth and gives it a squirt. (The liquid dissolves much faster than you can imagine and the taste will stay with you for quite some time.)

My “solutions” might seem a bit over the top – and your mileage may vary – but I am guessing either of these two ideas will accomplish what you requested. My preference would be to the spanking solution – it is, in my small experience, more likely to produce an immediate result.

Peace and Light
Terry

(in reply to ringlets)

RE: Have a question - 8/30/2004 12:12:03 PM

Posts: 14
Joined: 8/26/2004
Status: offline

proudsub,

Actually I wouldn't explain it as 24/7 right now. We are just starting up again after a long break due to the military and moving back home, so we are starting basically at the beginning again, so we can build a strong base and work from there. Maybe that is the problem also, in the past we had it 24/7 and it was very structured and that is when we both thrived in this lifestyle. I have to say in a scene, which doesn't happen very much because of a small house and a teenager in the house..did you all know that a/c vents carry sound...LOL. But, if we do scene...no I don't laugh, and not to sound like a smart mouth, but he is usually holding an implement...so maybe a little of that fear is involved there.

sweetpleaser,

Oh, yes have very much thought that the 24/7 isn't right for us, especially with all the changes lately, that is why we are starting from the ground up right now and seeing how all the new things in our lives work into the D/s lifestlye. We are not keeping it to one certain time of the day or week, though that is a great idea, maybe to just start off, but it is obvious and ok with both of us that it isn't going on all the time. Like I said when I am working it is definitely not in the picture. But, all the same it still hurts me and him when I laugh or am not in the right mode for submission. If that makes any sense at all. We want it there 24/7, but we really want to build a good strong base to work from.

I am a little confused now myself. Definitely time for a chat again. How does one get all the things together to carry on a conversation. One side wanting the 24/7 and the structure of it all and the other side saying take it slow....how does one get the sides to come to an agreement...and I mean within oneself, not between two people.

Enough with my ramblings.

Have a great day and may your day be filled with many smiles,

ringlets

< Message edited by ringlets -- 8/30/2004 12:14:39 PM >

(in reply to sweetpleaser)

RE: Have a question - 8/30/2004 12:21:44 PM

Posts: 14
Joined: 8/26/2004
Status: offline

ShadowHwk,

Those are great suggestions, very great in fact and would definitely do the trick, but a little hard to do with a teenager in the house in the evenings, now that school is back in session. My Dom would like to know if You have any other suggestions when there is a child in the home.

Or does anyone else have any other suggestions when there is a child in the area and nothing can be too obvious?

Thank You for Your suggestions.

Have a great day and may it be filled with many smiles,

ringlets

(in reply to ringlets)

RE: Have a question - 8/30/2004 12:41:30 PM

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

Or does anyone else have any other suggestions when there is a child in the area and nothing can be too obvious?

This might help:
children and bdsm

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to ringlets)

RE: Have a question - 8/30/2004 4:38:22 PM

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

It sounds then to Me like no lines have been drawn.
How about get out the
pen and paper and write up
a contract so both know
when it is business time
when it is scene time
when it is family time
when it is open time
when it is closed time
when it is vanilla time
for starters that way
if you laugh at the
in appropreate time
He will know how to
react to it. JMO

(in reply to proudsub)

RE: Have a question - 8/30/2004 4:44:14 PM

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

you say that the child is a teen
Id beg to gander that unless the
teen lives in a bubble they can
tell you more about your chosen
lifestyle then you. how about sitting
them down and giving them YOUR
side of what the lifestyle is for you
and what you agree with and practice
so that the teen will not have to tempt
to figgure out what all the yelling and
hollering might be and put the teen in
the position that they might feel forced
to make a call to the authorities when
you are actually practicing sumthing desired.
hiding who you are from your children
can never be a good thing in My opinion.
Keep in mind that I come from a Lifestyle
open Society and knew of the lifestyle from
a child and My views of such differ from most
of the vanilla side of society. My children where
raised in a Lifestyle Aware Home and it had no
negitive effect on them or Our relationship with
Our children and infact kept the communication
position open between Us all well into their young
adulthood. JMO

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

RE: Have a question - 8/30/2004 5:50:41 PM

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I have to disagree on this. I don't think teens want to know how kinky their parents are. In fact they don't want to even think about their parents in that way. And there is no reason why they should.
In thinking about your situation ringlets, it seems as if you have some other issues that need to be settled before you began to pick up the lifestyle again. You don't really seem to be in a submissive mood in my opinion.

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

RE: Have a question - 8/30/2004 6:54:50 PM

Posts: 14
Joined: 8/26/2004
Status: offline

MistressDREAD,

Actually she does know about our lifestyle and has known for quite some time....but she has made it perfectly obvious that she doesn't want to hear/see/smell/etc. etc any of it. She tends to get a bit testy about it if any of those should happen...and though I am strict and tell her that that is mine and her daddy's business, I still try to keep it out of her sight and mind. So, that is why we are searching for something that could be a little discreet in her presence, so as to not rock any boats.

Estring,

Funny You should mention that I am not in a very submissive mood. We have been discussing that all day long. I haven't been in the mood at all and it isn't because I don't want it...it is more of the past rearing it's ugly little head. Inconsistancy and my own self doubting getting in the way.

"We have worked on her self doubting issue. Now we have to work on the consistancy" He said.

There is just a lot of history to work through, which will take time, but we will make it. I will work on getting that mood back again..."With My help".. He says again.

Thank Yyou all for Yyour advice and ideas, they are greatly appreciated and should Yyou all think of more, please do share...we will take all we can get. Like they say the learning never ends.

Have a great evening and may your night be filled with many smiles,

ringlets

(in reply to Estring)

RE: Have a question - 8/30/2004 6:58:22 PM

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

it might be true that teens do not desire to think about parents in any kind of way however.....
That would not stop Me from telling them about My sexual preferances
and My sexual expectations of both them and My self towards the subject.
My Lifestyle choices and beliefs and what choices they to will have as adults befor they learn second hand from freinds or society and not the way I would have them learn.
My beliefs in Tolerance for others differances or My beliefs in All peoples rights to equallity in All ways including a womans right to choose abortion or their right to choose such as well or their right if they find they prefer or fall in love with sumone of the same sex to marry such for love is hard enough to find in the world with out putting such strict expectations on it as religious or societal expectaions that would tempt to make the love seem to be less then others love that just happen to be of oposing sexes. so you see to Me this issue goes much deeper then a fly by night action or talk to a teen and should of been a on going training that naturally went into everything else that one beleives within a family. If you treat sumthing as wrong and taboo it will be treated as such by those whom gain that feeling by those whom they trust around them. That includes parents as well as kids. I can truly say that I never felt that the lifestyle that I was raised up in was any thing that others felt were not of the norm and dident have such feelings that there actually was a split in how sum people felt about it till My first visit to the US at 18 and found out first hand the biased opinions of such a lifestyle. Thats the mindset that still goes on here in many venues and avenues here today more then twenty years later. JMO and its not main stream..........

(in reply to Estring)

RE: Have a question - 8/30/2004 7:05:06 PM

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I just love it when people answer their own questions in the end.............
HAHAHAHAH
He sounds like sumone with a head on His shoulders your hubbie/Dom
listen to Him sum times for peats sakes!
Im glad your child has your beliefs and you respect
her yuk stage. Pray she keeps it into her young twentys!
~wink~

(in reply to ringlets)

RE: Have a question - 8/30/2004 7:10:56 PM

Posts: 14
Joined: 8/26/2004
Status: offline

yuk stage? oh my gosh that is exactly it...LOL. May I use Your quote, giving You full credit of course?

And I just had a thought pop in my head....watch out world....How the heck do I go from being an equal after 17 years to "listening to Him"? That is one of those things that are easier said than done.

Ok, ok, I will shut up now and find something else to do. lol

Have a great evening and may it be filled with many smiles,

ringlets

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

RE: Have a question - 8/30/2004 7:20:12 PM

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Me and Mine raised 8 of My Own to young adulthood so far 6 whom stayed pretty much in the yuk stage till adults and 2 whom never experianced the yuk stage and were litteral sponges soaking up anything and everything they could learn regardless if lifestyle or not. None seem to have any mental or phyc. problems like sum would seem to think would cause anyone whom partisapates in this kind of lifestyle from such upbringing and I think the slaughtering of animals had more of a mental effect negativly on sum of them, then how We incorperated Our Lifestyle into Our daily living.....JMO yes you can use My words used how ever needed, unless you write a song using it and it becomes a gold then I want 10 percent!

(in reply to ringlets)

Page: [1]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Have a question

Page: [1]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.582