quote:

Tell them how much you love them, and anything else you would have liked to say to them if you knew you were going to die soon. Do the same for the rest of your family.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

Then you have learned nothing from death, serisa.

If a car runs you over tomorrow, you will leave 101 things undone, and only in your dying moments would you worry about them?

Take care of those things now, in order of priority, and you will have taken something valuable from death.

For example, make sure someone knows about the pets and will feed them if you end up in the hospital or die. Consider who would make good step-parents to the kids if you were to die, and put that information in your will and/or inform your next of kin. Tell them how much you love them, and anything else you would have liked to say to them if you knew you were going to die soon. Do the same for the rest of your family. Mend relations with anyone you'd want to make up with before dying- whatever got between you, if it wouldn't stop you from talking to them on your death bed, it shouldn't stop you now, either. Make sure the house is in an acceptable condition. Take care of the critical bills and make sure you have up to date papers (if even just a notebook) that show what bills are unpaid, what debts you owe and are owed, what insurance policies you have, what significant property you own, and so forth.

We are never free from the responsibilities we take upon ourselves, and we only worry about them when we haven't yet dealt adequately with them.

I know it can sometimes seem like everyday living has to take precedence, but speaking both from the perspective of someone who has only one important thing undone (and is working on resolving that), and also from the perspective of someone who has had to deal with the premature loss of a parent in an extremely beurocratic country (some of the paperwork is still ongoing, almost a year to the day later), that's just getting your priorities mixed up. Unless you are in a survival situation, or have taken on too much work and responsibility to handle, then it is the everyday grind you don't have time for, because the things you would not want to leave undone are the things that are actually important. Don't put in more grinding than you have time for after dealing with the important things.

If you were tied to a bomb that would go off in an hour, with no way to avoid it, how would you spend that hour?

That is how you should spend your next hour after reading this post.

Because that's what is truly important.
this pos
Health,
al-Aswad.

Thank you al-Aswad

Your words were very wise and did make me think alot. They did strike a chord with me and make me examine my life and wish i could make changes but to be brutally honest dont know to.

I am a single mum with three ums, ages from 2 to 10, my son has autism and everyday is a constant struggle to get the things done that i need to. I have not always been a single mum, i am now divorced but was once part of a 'typical' family. Every day for me is a list of 101 things to get done which i try my best but never quite achieve. I would love to get all these done today and not tomorrow but its not easy, hence why that to die with everything done (or as up to date as possible) would be for me to die peacefully.

I have a Master who is 30 years older than me. He has lived on his own for the past 30 years as a single man. I see him once per week... when he comes i work so hard to get the place ready for him after the chaos the kids leave behind, he is also the father of my youngest child. I would like to see him more and cater to his needs more... obviously thats up to him and what he wants but it is always in the back of my mind that he feels i have so much on my plate that i am not capable of doing any more than i do already. The possibility that he may think that does get me down alot as i wish i could do more to serve him... just dont know how to do it.

Thats why for me i think that to die free from worry of what i have and have not acheived would be the ultimate peace of mind for me. Sometimes its hard to even sleep at night at all knowing the outstanding jobs... let alone the satisfaction i know i would need to die peacefully, i would want to be here to 'sort it out'. When you are alive you can get as much done today as possible but leave the rest until tomorrow. When you are dead there is no tomorrow, and the exact reason today is so important... which i think in some ways is what you are trying to say - and i agree. i just want to make everyone happy to tell you the truth. but i have found out that no matter how hard i try i am just human and not some super woman. Its a bit of a bad realisation because as much as i want to give my ums my all... i wish i could serve my Master better too

Best wishes

< Message edited by serisa -- 9/21/2009 12:48:12 PM >

(in reply to Aswad)