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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Gorean Lifestyles >> Dying well

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Dying well - 9/2/2009 8:33:05 AM

amelliagrace

Posts: 1792
Joined: 8/4/2007
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Good morning to the Free, the slaves, and the searching -

Philosophies and religions are not just for living by, necessarily. They are also for dying by.

We've all heard the phrases and observations, "died well", "died with his boots on", "died with dignity", "died screaming", "died poorly", "went out in a blaze of glory", and more like them. We talk a lot here about living as a Gorean. I'd like to ask you folks what it means to you, as a Gorean, to "die well".

Happy Tuesday -
Gracie

Post #: 1

RE: Dying well - 9/2/2009 8:42:56 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 6009
Status: offline

When my grandma passed away two years ago I had the feeling she died with dignity as she was kept pain free in the end stage of her cancer, she received very good care in her last days in the hospital and I also disagreed to my parents view that she should have "fighted" more...I disagreed because it was "her choice" not to do another chemotherapy and it was clear that her cancer is not one of the ones which can be cured. She was ready to go and I respect it. Therefore I am also happy for her in her age that she had not to go through the experience of loosing her hair when she knows that she can't live for that much longer as the average time of living with that cancer is said to be 7 years (and she had 3 years or so already).

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

„Fürchte Dich nicht vor dem Vorwärtsgehen, fürchte Dich nur vor dem Stehen bleiben.“ Asiatische Weisheit

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to amelliagrace)

Post #: 2

RE: Dying well - 9/2/2009 9:12:38 AM

Rule

Posts: 7803
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: online

When I am terminally ill, I will die well in the seclusion of a woods or the dunes, or even in a gutter, or with sword in hand against another terminally ill person, or when making a thousands miles swim to Iceland, playing cards with the sharks, or when taken by Divine intervention, or executed by Satan - hopefully quickly. I so do not want to die in a bed, and especially not in the horror of a hospital bed. When dying, I want to be alife!

(in reply to amelliagrace)

Post #: 3

RE: Dying well - 9/2/2009 9:52:38 AM

Fathercrow

Posts: 4
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline

Having been in a hospital for several months, I would definitely not wish to die here. Personally I'd like to go with sword in hand, and maybe there could be some lamentation of the women.

(in reply to Rule)

Post #: 4

RE: Dying well - 9/2/2009 1:13:48 PM

Unbuilder

Posts: 131
Joined: 7/8/2007
From: Alaska
Status: offline

Tal, Rule

"When I am terminally ill, I will die well in the seclusion of a woods or the dunes, or even in a gutter, or with sword in hand against another terminally ill person, or when making a thousands miles swim to Iceland, playing cards with the sharks, or when taken by Divine intervention, or executed by Satan - hopefully quickly. I so do not want to die in a bed, and especially not in the horror of a hospital bed. When dying, I want to be alife!"

Whatever happened to the "blue flame death for using forbidden technology"?
A puff of smoke and it's over.

I wish you well
Unbuilder

_____________________________

In an endless universe, lie infinite opportunities, *anything is possible.
I am the man that I have chosen to become, for better or worse, the credit is mine, as well as the blame.
Objectivity should be a tool with two edges, one for you, one for me.

(in reply to Rule)

Post #: 5

RE: Dying well - 9/2/2009 1:19:41 PM

Rule

Posts: 7803
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: online

quote:

ORIGINAL: Unbuilder

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule
"When I am terminally ill, I will die well ... when taken by Divine intervention

Whatever happened to the "blue flame death for using forbidden technology"?
A puff of smoke and it's over.

It's called lightning and falls under Divine intervention.

(in reply to Unbuilder)

Post #: 6

RE: Dying well - 9/2/2009 1:56:06 PM

Aswad

Posts: 6618
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

Hey, Grace.

I would be inclined to say that dying well means dying on your own terms.

Health,
al-Aswad.

_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

(in reply to amelliagrace)

Post #: 7

RE: Dying well - 9/2/2009 2:56:38 PM

CroniclerofGor

Posts: 2
Joined: 8/21/2009
Status: offline

I would be religious but lightening bolts never seem to strike the right people.

(in reply to Rule)

Post #: 8

RE: Dying well - 9/2/2009 5:00:31 PM

Elisabella

Posts: 3939
Joined: 5/22/2008
Status: offline

Hi Grace,

Interesting question. For me, dying well would be dying without fear. I hope, and pray, that when my time comes I will go gracefully, and naturally, in my own bed, rather than offering libations to technology to keep a shell of a body alive for another few months to prolong the inevitable.

But when the time comes...well, I've always been bad at saying good-bye.

_____________________________

you're just an empty cage, girl
if you kill the bird

(in reply to CroniclerofGor)

Post #: 9

RE: Dying well - 9/2/2009 6:41:06 PM

ryssa

Posts: 501
Joined: 8/20/2006
Status: offline

I used to think that I would want to die in my own bed rather than a hospital bed as well.. but now, I'm not sure I could say either way until I'm actually faced with that decision.

My Aunt and my Grandmother both were diagnosed with terminal cancer. Just before they reached the stage where they could no longer communicate with us, we took them home. We thought they wanted to be home because when we asked, they seemed like they wanted to go. As it happened, my Aunt was at home 3 days and my Grandmother not even a full day before both of them requested to go back to the hospital. I honestly believe that they felt safer at the hospital and more comfortable. The facilities made their passing easier and because both were in extreme pain, I think they felt more secure knowing that if their pain broke through, it would be dealt with more efficiently.

All I know is, that after two very long and courageous battles, my Aunt and my Grandmother both passed away with dignity and grace...in a hospital.

(in reply to Elisabella)

Post #: 10

RE: Dying well - 9/2/2009 7:13:08 PM

Zevar

Posts: 786
Status: offline

[Deleted by choice]

I wish you well,
~Zevar~

< Message edited by Zevar -- 9/2/2009 7:59:06 PM >

_____________________________

Beagán agus a rá go maith.
Gaelic saying

Broken Irish is better than clever English.
Irish proverb

House of Livingston
A Gaelic Irish gentleman master
Finte na hÉireann

(in reply to amelliagrace)

Post #: 11

RE: Dying well - 9/2/2009 7:25:57 PM

Dinnardin

Posts: 368
Joined: 1/9/2007
Status: offline

hmmmm.....
Shot to death at age 90+ by the correctly jealous husband of a gorgeous 21 year old, whilst in the act....as my last check bounces at the bank

John, AKA Dinnardin

(in reply to Zevar)

Post #: 12

RE: Dying well - 9/2/2009 8:15:34 PM

OrionTheWolf

Posts: 7219
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline

~FR~

However I die, I hope that it is in accordance with how I have lived and the beliefs (non-religious) that I hold dear. I hope that I accept it as a transformation, an ascendence of my being to another stage in the existance of all that there is. Fear is something that holds us back in life, and it is something that we will eventually let go of in death.

I will not want any life insurance spent on a big funeral, but would rather there be a long walk through the woods, along a stream, in view of a waterfall, to spread my ashes, and those attending have a magnigicent view of the world that I love, and fight to be a part of every day.

Accept what is, and everything will be as it should be. Deny it, and nothing will change, as everything will be as it should be.

_____________________________

Die die glauben fordern keinen Beweis. Denen die zweifeln genuegt kein Beweis.

(in reply to Zevar)

Post #: 13

RE: Dying well - 9/2/2009 8:37:18 PM

Dinnardin

Posts: 368
Joined: 1/9/2007
Status: offline

In a more serious vein...not so much how I die, but how I would like things handled after...which is how we handled the death of my Oma (grandmother). We buried her, next to my Opa, within a couple days of her death. About 3 months later, we all gathered to celebrate her life. No sadness, no lamenting. Merely a chance to share and enjoy memories of the good times.
I can think of no better way to have it handled.

John, AKA Dinnardin

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)

Post #: 14

RE: Dying well - 9/2/2009 11:43:47 PM

Zevar

Posts: 786
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zevar

[Deleted by choice]

I wish you well,
~Zevar~

Note: It was brought to my attention that to repost this entry might be a good idea. I am very tired, need to get up early to work again and need to rest so here it is for whatever this entry is worth, that was previously deleted by choice, if anything at all. If thought otherwise by anyone then my sincere apology is extended.

FR:

I am out of town to date and am able finally to find some private time to read the boards. When I read this thread I immediately thought of the book by Dr. Ira Byock Dying Well; Peace and possibilities at the end of life. http://www.dyingwell.org I agree with much of what he writes. However no one can 100% predict the natural cause of their death or the time and place.

I do hope when it is my time that I have lived well enough to have left something for the advancement of society through my professional work and by just being me and loving those I am entrusted to love. Perhaps dying well to some is not knowing they lived well and perhaps it may well be. For myself I do genuinely hope my living was not for naught and merely selfish reasons else I would consider myself somewhat “dead” to Life
as I live it daily.

I have faced the death of loved ones in my life on several occasions. I have lived in spite of their passing. I strive to live in a way that hopefully reflects my ideology of living knowing that the inevitable will happen for all who live in this realm. I do believe for myself my main hurdle to overcome was fear when it came to dealing with death. Dying is an unknown experienced aspect to living Life. As to die is to no longer live in this realm.

Perhaps one day when it is my time I will face it as I believe so in my heart of hearts or rather I should say my personal convictions on how I believe dying well is for me in my own personal way. Death is something we all have to face alone no matter how many people are around us therefore in my latter years of living I have come to understand my relation to Life in a spiritual way which surely has afforded myself to no longer fear what I have yet to face, dying well.

I continue to live as well as I know to the best of my ability on a daily basis. Life after death as I understand through my spiritual convictions claims the possibility for endless Life. Passing from this realm of life unto another realm of endless life, having lived well I then die well I suppose I could say. That’s about all I can say since I have yet to die well.

P.S. Just wanted to wish Grace a Happy Wednesday.

I wish you well and enough,
~Zevar~

_____________________________

Beagán agus a rá go maith.
Gaelic saying

Broken Irish is better than clever English.
Irish proverb

House of Livingston
A Gaelic Irish gentleman master
Finte na hÉireann

(in reply to Zevar)

Post #: 15

RE: Dying well - 9/3/2009 4:53:38 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7077
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I'd like to ask you folks what it means to you, as a Gorean, to "die well".

Good morning Miss Grace

To me, it simply means ,to die without regrets.

Have a wonderful day

mist

< Message edited by IrishMist -- 9/3/2009 4:54:02 AM >

_____________________________

Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up shit by the clean end.

(in reply to amelliagrace)

Post #: 16

RE: Dying well - 9/3/2009 9:26:03 AM

sweetgirlserves

Posts: 255
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline

quote:

I will not want any life insurance spent on a big funeral, but would rather there be a long walk through the woods, along a stream, in view of a waterfall, to spread my ashes, and those attending have a magnigicent view of the world that I love, and fight to be a part of every day.

You 'fight' to be a part of the world every day? No need to fight, just wake up and you're pretty much a part of it, whether you like it or not.

quote:

Accept what is, and everything will be as it should be. Deny it, and nothing will change, as everything will be as it should be.

These sound like rather helpless words... What about ... Change what is... and everything will be as it should be?

I found this posting from you to be rather strange, which is why I am commenting.

~sgs

< Message edited by sweetgirlserves -- 9/3/2009 9:36:30 AM >

_____________________________

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." ~Maya Angelou

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)

Post #: 17

RE: Dying well - 9/3/2009 11:31:17 AM

OrionTheWolf

Posts: 7219
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetgirlserves

quote:

I will not want any life insurance spent on a big funeral, but would rather there be a long walk through the woods, along a stream, in view of a waterfall, to spread my ashes, and those attending have a magnigicent view of the world that I love, and fight to be a part of every day.

You 'fight' to be a part of the world every day? No need to fight, just wake up and you're pretty much a part of it, whether you like it or not.

Yep. Each day has a lesson that we often struggle (fight) to learn. Sometimes it may be the same lesson being repeated. Waking up requires fighting against the lesson taught to us by society, and fighting to embrace that which we are (acceptance).

quote:

quote:

Accept what is, and everything will be as it should be. Deny it, and nothing will change, as everything will be as it should be.

These sound like rather helpless words... What about ... Change what is... and everything will be as it should be?

I found this posting from you to be rather strange, which is why I am commenting.

~sgs

This topic is about dying, and once that occurs there is nothing to change, nothing to regret, nothing to do, but accept it. We can deny many things, but at the point of death denial does nothing for us. When death occurs the only thing you can do is accept it. Prior to death you can do many things that may impact how or where you die, but not at the actual moment of death.

Not strange, just different, because I often speak of living, and very rarely have spoken of dying.

Live well,
Orion

_____________________________

Die die glauben fordern keinen Beweis. Denen die zweifeln genuegt kein Beweis.

(in reply to sweetgirlserves)

Post #: 18

RE: Dying well - 9/3/2009 12:12:06 PM

VirginPotty

Posts: 11605
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

I'd like to ask you folks what it means to you, as a Gorean, to "die well".

Good morning Miss Grace

To me, it simply means ,to die without regrets.

Have a wonderful day

mist

To me it means to make it as painless as possible for my loved ones.

_____________________________

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 19

RE: Dying well - 9/3/2009 12:50:39 PM

Mitzie

Posts: 688
Joined: 9/20/2006
Status: offline

both my parents passed away peacefully but sadly my partner did not so I have see peaceful deaths and one not so peaceful.

If I had a choice I would like to pass away in my sleep.

Mitzie

_____________________________

"The free should not be slave, and the slave should not be free," he said. "I do not understand," she said. "Just as it is wrong for the properly free to be enslaved," he said, "so, too, it is wrong for the properly enslaved to be free."PoG

(in reply to VirginPotty)

Post #: 20

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