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RE: I'm going to a Poly household in 9 days...


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RE: I'm going to a Poly household in 9 days... - 9/22/2009 7:55:46 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3851
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

So I'm a subjugate? Not a submissive?

LOL.. No.

You are a submissive who wants to be subjugated.

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to rednicky)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: I'm going to a Poly household in 9 days... - 9/22/2009 7:55:52 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 5638
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		That was originally  my idea of the ideal dom too,  and like you I would eventually settle down and be less of a challenge but he'd have to show himself strong enough and capable enough to  be the dominant force in my life. But that was all before I decided i wasn't interested in being someone's sub, or catering to their needs or their whims.
quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

I want a man to sort of put me in my place. Dominate me without even trying. Making a girl with dominant personality 'want' to submit to him. The hallenge is so intriguing. A lot of guys here expectsubmision to be given. But that's not how I see dominance. Its not dominance if the person on the recieving end 'gives' there submission away. Simply telling someone what to do is not dominance. Especially if they'll listen to anything. Getting someone to do something by using their dominant nature to make the receiver not 'want' to listen to anyone else BUT this dominant creature before them is dominance. I want a man to make me feel that way. Does that make any sense? No man I com across wants to make the effort. If I don't 'give' them what they want, they move on. Ever hear of earning submission?

(in reply to rednicky)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: I'm going to a Poly household in 9 days... - 9/22/2009 8:01:57 PM   
rednicky


Posts: 313
Joined: 1/14/2009
Status: offline 		Well I'd honestly be a sexual submissive and 'maaaybe' I'd do a little submission outside of the bedroom. And the only reason I say that is because I do 'not' want to be turned into a maid. I'll make special meals on occasion and spruce up a bit when things need sprucing up but I'm probably not such a good candidate to 'cater' to a man outside the bedroom. Perhaps he can discipline me in the bedroom if I do something outside of the bedroom that he does not like. But 24/7 is not my idea of fun. It's in my nature to be a little defiant. If I'm 24/7 sub, I'd explode one day and do some irreversible damage.

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Well if you would just stay away from my bridge...

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: I'm going to a Poly household in 9 days... - 9/22/2009 8:17:45 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3851
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		You might find this post interesting:

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=1464055




On another note.  Listen rednicky.  You are 21.  You have the mindset of a 21 year old and there is nothing wrong with that.  But it seems to me that you are approaching this with your guard up, being defensive against a partner who you haven't even met yet, but are certain that if you allowed yourself to submit to him outside the bedroom, he would be a lazy jerk who would turn you into his maid.
Maybe if you tried to change the opinion you have of the men you haven't yet met, you will find someone.

You also might want to look into Daddy/little girl types of relationships...





(*sometimes channeling you for inspiration doesn't work as well when I am really really tired!)

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to rednicky)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: I'm going to a Poly household in 9 days... - 9/22/2009 10:42:05 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 5638
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		Not all men want maids, you just have to find one that is compatible with you and your idea's.
quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

Well I'd honestly be a sexual submissive and 'maaaybe' I'd do a little submission outside of the bedroom. And the only reason I say that is because I do 'not' want to be turned into a maid

(in reply to rednicky)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: I'm going to a Poly household in 9 days... - 9/23/2009 7:39:51 AM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear Nicky... perhaps I can help.. I live with a woman who I am not sexually involved with. I am married to her Master....

The problem is that by rejecting half of the couple you are effectively placing a potential wedge btwn them..... She has the right to be in her home without feeling unwelcome or unwanted...it is HER home and  you my dear are the guest... You can have a D.s dynamic with her husband but that is the secondary relationship.. his primary relationship must always be his marriage... it is a delicate line to walk... he may have arranged to have this weekend alone with you..but that is something that they did for each other and you must be appropriately grateful for it because it will and MUST not be the norm ... unless they have arrranged that he is to get naughty weekends away with his little bit of hot totty as we say on the side thats great but that is not a poly relatinship.. Poly is about meeting each other needs with as little selfishness as possible.. and your post was all about how you had gotten what you wanted.. Happy Happy joy joy dance... so the reaction was negative... too many of us have been in a situation were an outside force has wrecked havoc on our primary relationships.

If your going for a little play time with no strings with this guy and he and his wife are good with that.. whooohoooo..then lets spell that out and be upfront about our wants and desires. but ify our going to start the first steps toward a relationship..then you must be aware that no matter how much you wish otherwise there are THREE in it and you will have to figure out a way to cope with that.. because otherwise the disaster is likely.. and you will likely end up hurt..

To me you seem to be  a girl who just wants a daddy.. you want to be taken care of pampered and sexually dominanted by a strong loving paternal figure.. If I were you I would seriously look at the Daddy/girl dynamic and see if that isnt more what your looking for.. I wish you well MsB.

< Message edited by Sylverdawn -- 9/23/2009 7:54:45 AM >

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“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elyane Boosler

Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: I'm going to a Poly household in 9 days... - 9/28/2009 2:52:50 PM   
rednicky


Posts: 313
Joined: 1/14/2009
Status: offline 		Alrighty I made the trip and it...was..fantastic. We had so much fun watching movies, ordering in, and playing games. No sex btw. Just good clean fun. And the wife came on sunday and we all laughed together about stupid things. I ended up leaving at night and was very tired when I got back but that's ok. That was a very good trip and I am glad I went. But I kept everything you guys said in mind and I think I'm better for it. I included the wife. I didn't get sexual. And I had a good time. I may do it again soon but, for now, the experience will keep me happy for a while :).

_____________________________

Well if you would just stay away from my bridge...

(in reply to Sylverdawn)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: I'm going to a Poly household in 9 days... - 9/28/2009 11:46:14 PM   
Sunnyfey


Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline 		good to hear nicky.

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Resident Hell Cat



(in reply to rednicky)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: I'm going to a Poly household in 9 days... - 9/29/2009 12:09:36 PM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11616
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline 		Good to hear Nicky. So what's the next step?
I just started reading this thread and it's very interesting to say the least.  I must say that I understand how you feel, Nicky about wanting the man to prove his dominance to you. That's how I was in the beginning and he more than proved himself to me and I to him though it was a LONG TRYING test on both ends & I don't recommend it long term. Find someone you're compatable with and go with the flow. See how he handles your brattiness the first couple of times then either accept him as a dom & go to the next level or move on. Don't continuously be a brat to test him, it'll wear you both out.

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Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

(in reply to Sunnyfey)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: I'm going to a Poly household in 9 days... - 9/29/2009 3:20:19 PM   
rednicky


Posts: 313
Joined: 1/14/2009
Status: offline 		Well this guy isn't my Dom but he sure is dominant. I've known him long enough not to have to test him but I'll probably have to test any prospective Doms at least twice. But he intrigue me to the point where a test may not be neccessary. Even though the Dom I met and I didn't do anything, being around him made me 'want' to submit. I now know what so many of you meant by wanting to please another and putting that person ahead of ones self. I think I'm actually ready to try real submission with a Dom of my own.

_____________________________

Well if you would just stay away from my bridge...

(in reply to VirginPotty)
Profile   Post #: 90
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