barelynangel
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I posted this in the other forum prior to this one being posted. I was a Gorean slave and this is how i came to accept slave in myself:
I am slave -- mind you not A SLAVE at the moment -- simply because i am susceptible to being mastered and enslaved by a Man or certain Men wherein his determinations and expectations sand strength are my governing force not my own autonomy and self-determination. This is a need in me. I am slave because i am susceptible to Men who are able to create the environment wherein i exist in his life as he determines. Again this is a need in me. i am slave because i am susceptivel to my autonomy and self-determination being taken by a Man who is capable of doing so. Its a need to which i rarely will exist comfortably with Men NOT capable of doing this. I am also slave because i will try and use my sexuality to please Men in general its very instinctive for me and i understand my sexuality belongs to Men and that is also my nature. I need their accepttance of this from Men, i need them not to be intimidated by this part of me, i need the to exploit and demand this part of me to be expressed within the vulnerability of their control and demands, i need them to manipulate this to hold me in their determinations for me. I am slave because with certain Men i need to be mastered and enslaved to exist as they determine and to have them take my self-determination. Its a reactions and instinct i cannot control. Slave is a need within for mastery by a Man, not a determination to be a slave on my part. i cannot help but gravitate to these strong men who know how to use mastery and my own needs against me to gain what they wish. I thrive and yes, expec this of men, if they cannot deliver, i as slave wll attempt to manipulate them into feeding this need of mine. or simple seek from Man to Man until i find what my needs force me to seek..
Its about my needs, instincts and reactions to mastery not my choices. But its also about what HE is capable of also.
I am not slave because i have some need to serve just to serve (not all people who are slaves are service oriented) or because i have some need to please everyone and anyone, not even the Man who owns me all of the time. Its funny because what most people don't get is MANY women who are slaves to Men are actually very dominant in nature. Its the mastery and enslavement by which they live UNDER the determinations of the Man who owns them that he determines how he holds them in slavery and what expectations and standards they must reach. Many people mistake what they observe of slaves as a concept of they are ultra submissives -- usually this is not true. Many times they are slaves because they are NOT submissive by nature but reactionary to the mastery and enslavement of the Man who determines they exist by the expectations and standards of the Man who has determined to own them and is capable of holding them in slavery of his determination, a Man willing to exploit them and their sexuality to control them and ultimately own them.
Its not a concept of choosing to be, or making a decision to obey (i.e., slaves many times are and can be disobedient, its not a concept of enjoying to serve and please (people do that all over the world daily and it doesn't make them slaves) to be, being slave is simply in my nature when the right conditions arise based on a Man's determination and his will is such i can only be what naturally compels me.
I am a dominant nature, that doesn't disappear when i am a slave, its simply that his will, determinations etc, are such that i naturally exist in his life reaching for his expectations and standards because he has taken my autonomy and self-determination to exist as i determine in his life. i feed off his mastery, i need, and am enslaved by his mastery. Without the mastery and holding of me by his determination wherein he uses his mastery, my needs etc to hold me as he desires, especially if he loves me, i will grasp my self-determination and use it and many times scorn him for his weakness in loving me, i don't play a slave when a Man is incapable of holding me through mastery as he determines.
With such a Man or Men capable of this, i exist naturally and comfortably on my knees living by his determination, expectations, standards and such. Some days i get it right, some days i don't, and some days its a mixture of everything. grins, the concept of dominant nature and being slave nature is always so much fun to watch how people react to it. What's funny is also that i know given a CHOICE by a Man to be his slave, my answer to such a CHOICE is ummm no lol, why the hell would any logical woman wish to LIVE IN SLAVERY -- even if it is detrimental to myself as i am my own worse enemy. Most Men i know don't ASK a slave to make a choice to be A slave, they make the choice for her wherein she simply is what he determines her to be and simply wait for her to finally get it and acknowledge same.
Choosing to be a slave is kind of oxymoronic to me due to the fact that if you choose to be a slave you are determining what slave means and in all actuality the woman who is the slave doesn't CHOOSE what slave is but instead lives by the determinations and expectations of the Man who has determined to master and enslave her so she exists as he determines in his life. I think too many people try and CHOOSE to be a slave and that is where their frustrations come in because the actuality of HIS determinations for her doesn't match up to what she has determined for herself being a slave. This is one of the biggest things i struggle with for slave was forged based on no prior knowledge, and now with prior knowledge, its hard to be a clean slate.
Many people within Gor believe a woman who begs a collar is choosing to be a slave, i disagree, i believe if she gets to that point she is already mastered and enslaved and all the begging of the collar is is an acknowledgment of her realization of her existance in His and lives of Men.
I know there are women who are easier held than i, and i know there are women far harder to hold than i. However, in the end its all very simple, its all about cost and value to the Man who determines to own a slave.
angel
< Message edited by barelynangel -- 10/5/2009 7:54:44 PM >
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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson
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RE: Choosing to be a slave - 
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