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RE: To those seeking a second - 1/10/2010 8:58:55 AM

TheMentalist007

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/28/2009
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Just a quick comment: As a long long time Poly Master so many doms lose site of how a relationship like this would work. If I find a submissive that would fit in the family it is more important for me to stop, have the girls interact and then move forward. Then there are particula phases that need to happen. Probably first and foremost is that that submissive fits within the family. If you look at your family as a puzzle, making sure every submissive has her place with Master or Mistress there will never be a need for them to have competition in certain areas. One may be an excellent domestic for example. Another a professional in her career. One may prefer not sleeping every night with someone another must have that. It is our obligation as dominants to assure these pieces of the puzzle fit. Thus the reason my poly lifestyle has always been successful. Use your head as a dominant, and use your big head not your little head first. You will find alot less drama in your life if you do it properly. AND ALWAYS give your current submissive/submissives an opportunity to give their input. Any great dominant listens to those around them they trust. They may see something you do not. Women especially have a way of protecting their lair, and see things at times most men never see. *I repeat, "MOST MEN"*.

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Post #: 41

RE: To those seeking a second - 1/21/2010 8:38:06 AM

SirJ40

Posts: 157
Joined: 12/21/2008
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Mentalist has hit it on the head.. it is our responsibility, as Dominants, and as Household Heads, to preserve the harmony. This does NOT mean saying "I'm the damn boss and all that matters is that you do as you're told"... it means paying attention to what's going on, making sure that everyone is getting what they need, making sure that we communicate our needs too, dividing responsibilities fairly among the family, making sure that the strengths of each member are utilized, and the weaknesses compensated for.. there's a LOT to it.
Combining Poly and BDSM is complex, but at the end of the day, it's the interpersonal relationship that can make or break the entire situation, so sometimes the D side has to take a back seat to the Partner side of Me, so that I can interact properly with both girls in a responsible and caring manner. It is said so often it's nearly becoming a cliche, but the reality is that communication and honesty can make your life SO much easier.. and then the "why would you want a third person around" becomes self-evident.. in our case, it's because she's a wonderful person, a loving partner, a giving and caring human being, a magnificent lover with both of us (physically and mentally), and someone that we feel makes our life a more wonderful place than it already was. She's a companion, a partner in crime, a fellow voyeur, and she understands and loves us as we understand and love her. "Why"? Because it's such an amazing feeling for all 3 of us.

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Post #: 42

RE: To those seeking a second - 1/23/2010 8:43:02 PM

sweetboundesire

Posts: 285
Joined: 10/29/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirJ40

northernsiren, you're SO right. The only reason we decided to seek out someone, and then take in kitten, was because we did feel like it would be something that would make our highly rewarding and happy relationship even "bigger". And that's how it's working out, so far. I will say, however, that there's a very large amount of it that is reserved for the girls, only. And that's by design.. I want them to have a happy and rewarding relationship between them, it's a big part of what we were seeking, the female dynamic for babygirl. I enjoy it very well, too, of course!
Best of luck to all seeking, and all who are sorting out the dynamics of it.

mmmmmm indeed. I am very seriously considering being a part of a D/s, and being a lover of psychology, there is so much to indulge upon. I've never done this or been a part of a poly scene yet I have had long standing desires.

The Dom is managing the interactions very well and letting his sub and I get to know one another. So far it's in it's infancy stages yet its very beautiful-imo. I'm very attracted to the Dom and also his sub and so far communications have been superb. It's opened my eyes to how much more complex it can be in a D/s/s...yet she loves women too and he desires a poly household...sans all living under one roof...lol...

I'm very new to this..and I am the third yet neither wishes for me to feel this way...
I think it takes people who communicate well and are sensitive to each other and also the equal desire for poly.

I have to say for me, so far my interactions with these wonderful people leave me feelings like being wrapped in a warm fleece blanket.

I don't think I'm dreaming either. if i am i surely won't pinch myself, it's way too damn good

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Post #: 43

RE: To those seeking a second - 3/5/2010 3:14:44 PM

patina

Posts: 493
Joined: 9/14/2006
From: no
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hi all:

My first Master was polly, i knew that and talked with both girls before joining him, the first girl and i hit it off fine. Second girl and i had a few bumpy talks. When i physically meet them the first girl was great to me. Second girl without my knowing had been put in charge of me to "teach" me how to behave. Her idea of correcting though, was to loudly bellow out that i was doing that wrong and to do it this way. She had to be the center of attention. She did not like it that as a new girl i was getting more attention than her, even though she was young and pretty and i am a lot older and just pleasing. She would constantly enter the bedroom and interrupt us, then later blamed me for her embarassement when i tried to make a joke of her seeing my bare ass in the air giving a BJ.

The next visit i had with the Master again she was put in charge of me, she would every night when He came in from work would run and say i need a private word Sir she then would tell him i refused to do my duties that day that she had to do my work. i finally got fed up and told her off i tried to talk to the Master he just believed her always. I told him she was lying but he would never listen so after a week i quit. i did not like a lot of other things though. i am a country girl so living in a city was not my style, it was a colder climite than i was used too also.

the master i am talking to now lives on a -00 acre farm in the country of course with 4 legged farm animals. he is strong, fair, just, controling, OMG a great kisser, and this may sound silly but i was able to swallow my first time so i feel proud of it. I did not throw it up or even gag like i always have before. He is considering the idea of a poly house i told him i am willing to share him but i will not accept another female trying to control me. He said no you will be Mistress of the house and over the other girls i want them to help you so you won't be so tired to take care of me. i had always thought having a sister slave would be fun and was disapointed in my experience.

I know i can work with a bunch of slaves as i spent a 4 day 5 night with a group of Masters and slaves at a social gathering and all of us slaves had to work together, i had a blast. Does anyone have any idea what is the best way to find poly slaves i am lost. He wants me to start the process.

patina

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Post #: 44

RE: To those seeking a second - 3/9/2010 8:02:48 AM

anonabunny

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Joined: 11/6/2009
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Very lovely post

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Post #: 45

RE: To those seeking a second - 3/19/2010 9:36:27 AM

DomBlade64

Posts: 105
Joined: 3/14/2010
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In my experience, trying to get all the subs you can as quick as possible has bad results. When I was on here before, I wasted alot of time and effort trying to get another slave. I quit out of frustration from trying everything from being as nice as possible, to being as "Dom like" as I could be to even trying to woo them with tickets to Vegas.

I joined every poly site I could find that was free (why pay for what you can get for free) and still no results. This hit me hard as I was seeing everyone else get plenty of extra servants with little to no effort.

Later I gave up and forgot about it.

The one poly household I know of personally crumbled because of alterior motives of one of the females involved. It was a "quad?" I believe she called it, and for about 5-6 or so months she was ALL ABOUT being poly and loving the attention. After a brief argument (and because of the leverage and show of the power of her own choice) she defected from her long term boyfriend and took the other womans husband and are now planning a wedding.

Of course they all claim to hate each other now. The boyfriend got together with the wife out of spite until she moved on and 3-4 kids are left on the sideline. She is now claiming the kids as her own (In public only) and is showing signs of being BABY HUNGRY as the husband had been fixed prior to their relationship. Im guessing she is going to lure the BEST FRIEND of her new fiancee out of his marriage under the guise of a fake poly household and try to get knocked up.

I say fake poly because what she is doing isnt authentic. She just wants attention.

Anyways, now her blog is all about being a divorced single mom...... I cant see why her new fiancee(target) cant see the forest for the trees.

(Disclaimer-I am in no way saying that you or anyone elses poly household is fake or will end up like this... Im just giving an interesting account of my own experiences and the experiences I know to be authentic.)

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Post #: 46

RE: To those seeking a second - 3/20/2010 5:45:18 PM

maisyjayne

Posts: 8
Joined: 9/27/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: northernsiren

By all rights, seeking a second should occur when you have a most perfect love, a stable home, a strong bond, so good that you want to share it with another, where their presence can only enrich your already existing happiness, and should be COMPLETELY desired and yearned for by both parties.

I agree so much with you here.
When I watch Steve and Maria I see such an electricity between them, I love it, I love the fact they are so very strong together, call me an old romantic if you will, but it makes me so warm inside and of course that makes them so very attractive to me.
My situation is different to yours in the fact that they are both Dominant over myself, but I know that if things were different I would still want them to be in agreement about myself, and that I would also have to be wanted and accepted by both parties.
I know that personally I would not feel happy or secure in any sort of relationship where I felt one member was unhappy with the arrangements and in all honesty in my eyes a Master/Mistress with two subs that don't interact with each other isn't poly (not saying it is wrong just I don't see it as a poly arrangement).

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RE: To those seeking a second - 4/8/2010 5:25:15 AM

SirPent

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Joined: 4/14/2005
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I Don't consider someone who doesn't even consider his slaves feelings a true Dom anyway (My opinion) I believe if a Dom is confident in himself he will include his slave/s in the "courting" process even if it's just to save himself the headache of subs fighting constantly later (I know this first hand). I really don't like the way Arrogance and Bullying gets confused with Domming so often, smearing the opinion of good Dominants in the process. Just my opinion and my rant. If I've offended anyone all I can say is toughen up princess ;)

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Post #: 48

RE: To those seeking a second - 4/11/2010 10:32:37 PM

ausgirlie

Posts: 1
Joined: 2/11/2010
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My Master and i are in a very unique situation.
We are BOTH seeking a second. We have a very stable and loving relationship, and both truly understand and agree upon what we are wanting from having a second sub in the household- He would not mind being Dominant (haha obviously!) and i am a true bisexual seeking both a sister sub/slave and a playmate ;)
His work is very demanding, and we spend alot of time apart, leaving me in a house all by myself!
This does NOT mean that we are trying to fill a void. The sub we seek will be loved by both of us, treated as a family member and very well looked after.
Unfortunately our search has not met many positive responses!
I was wondering why this might be?
If any one might have a clue or some advice please let me know!
Thank You for Your time,
Samantha
xoxo

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Post #: 49