RE: Infidelity and the Gorean Man

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Gorean Lifestyles >> RE: Infidelity and the Gorean Man

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RE: Infidelity and the Gorean Man - 3/10/2006 5:43:40 PM

mons

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: online

fyreredsu

you are no longer with this master i see, I can understand the feeliong of not wanting to hurt another person. I had many married subs male think it was ok to cheat and just think nothing of it and just think becase i am a domme i have not self respect for myself and other, and many of these wives have no ideal their husband are like this. One men sent me a letter and he had a live in girlfriend and i ask him well what would she said if you come home with marks? well he said oh she is so sweet and no nothing she will think nothing of it. oh that did upset me so, yes i dlelete that mail. but so i see not all gorean male have more then one person that is good to know i am not a gorean but i do not like to share lol. I see your happy now i want to ask you more things and i spell your name so right this time proud of me so much I want to know. hey how is my writing everyone it is ok to let me know how many mistake there is but is it over all good or bad. freredsub something went wrong i just read something in one of the post i am sorry i just began to know you, you a kind sweet and gentle woman i can feel this when i start to speak with someone yes it is true you will be ok my dear i know this

well wish to all

mons / jane

(in reply to fyreredsub)

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Post #: 21

RE: Infidelity and the Gorean Man - 3/10/2006 5:46:06 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

quote:

The situation as I would see it in the books... and frankly as I would see it myself, is that Man would have an obligation to first deal with changing the nature of his relationship with the woman, either lighting the fire in her belly and taking her to his collar, making a new arrangement with her as a free woman or ending the partnership.

That makes sense to me.

quote:

Monogomy may not longer be his wish, but that is not cheating.

I agree as long as the above had been taken care of.

quote:

I have never known any Gorean males to have a vanilla partner.

I have met some online who are married to a vanilla partner and have a slave online.

quote:

now it is all part of the learning curve of life.

Living and learning hey

(in reply to mnottertail)

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Post #: 22

RE: Infidelity and the Gorean Man - 3/10/2006 6:23:52 PM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
Status: offline

hi jali,

As many have stated i also believe infidelity is negative and implies sneaking, lying, etc etc. A Master doesn't need to do all of that.

i tend to get very wary when a Man who wants to be my Master starts promising me things even when i think i want to hear promises. i am not sure if i want fidelity in a Master, but i know i don't expect it. It would be too easy for me to use that fidelity to unconsciously raise myself higher than what i am to him (which i see many slaves do), higher than a slave, and see myself as exclusive, as a couple and then begin to expect it, and look at any deviation as a failure keep some unspoken promise to me. right or wrong, its how eventually my mind would work, and if he ever decided to break his fidelity type actions, it would take work for me to readjust to what my level in his life is --- a slave. Now this is based on never having a Master who wasn't poly lol so i am presuming based on my instincts of needing to be kept in the depth of slave as what i am going on. I think the most i would do in a situation where his being with someone else was please let me not be around for it, there are emotions, and thoughts and ideas that when its happening happen, even a poly woman tends to get jealous, feel insecure, have doubts of if he will keep her, but its how all those feelings are handled by the slave that makes it doable.

Many women view sex and love as interchangeable and so to have sex with another is somehow implying he doesn't "love" her.

In all actuality, if the Master wishes never to stray from the slave, then its no big deal, but to obtain his desire if he wishes to expand his pleasure choices, would take work and on some levels, it may become too much work so he settles into what his slave wishes instead. Many believe this wouldn't happen, but it does. A jeolous, possessive women, slave or not, has the ability to unconsciously make his and her life miserable. On some level this is because she feels he owes her an explaination.

To put it simply, it is not up to the slave to have the expectation of a "promise" fulfilled, it implies she feels he owes her something then, it is up to the Master to decide if he wishes to follow through on what he has said, or if circumstances have him making a different decision.

I don't get involved with any married men, consent on both parties or not, He may decide what he wishes to do, but i don't want to get involved between a Man and his wife. i won't get involved with a Man who is cheating on his wife. These are decisions i have made based on what i believe in regard to marraige. i can't truly explain it, its just something i do not do.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 3/10/2006 6:33:59 PM >

_____________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to slavejali)

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Post #: 23

RE: Infidelity and the Gorean Man - 3/10/2006 8:28:02 PM

Nosathro

Posts: 1482
Joined: 9/25/2005
From: Orange County, California
Status: offline

Tal and greetings

Do not worry mnottertail..I am making the collars now. This topic has struck me rather deeply. I was in the BDSM Lifestyle when I met my "Ex", she was vanilla so I did drop out when I married her. At our cermony we had are own vows and as I placed the ring on her finger I stated rather loudly "All Other I refuse and Thy I Choose" . Even in the end when we slept in different rooms I remembered those words and Honored them.

fyreredsub I am sorry to read what happen to you.

I wish you well

Nosathro

_____________________________

"The love of a slave girl is the deepest and most profound love that any woman can give a man. Love makes a woman a man's slave, and the wholeness of that love requires that she be, in truth, his slave." Magicians of Gor, page 31

(in reply to mnottertail)

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Post #: 24

RE: Infidelity and the Gorean Man - 3/10/2006 8:41:41 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

barelynangel,

I can really hear you on

quote:

It would be too easy for me to use that fidelity to unconsciously raise myself higher than what i am to him (which i see many slaves do), higher than a slave, and see myself as exclusive, as a couple and then begin to expect it,

...so he settles into what his slave wishes instead.

....she feels he owes her an explaination.

Those points really hit home to me. Thats a real predicament you described, cuz if a slave is a slave is a slave, then her Masters desires and pleasures are paramount and so easily her own ideas of how the relationship should be could be imposed on the dymanic of Master and slave and basically throw it all off balance and make it into something neither of them wanted anyways.

I guess the scenario you used really brought home the fact of making sure from the very beginning that your potential Master has the same ideals as your own so this situation would never come up.

(in reply to barelynangel)

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Post #: 25

RE: Infidelity and the Gorean Man - 3/10/2006 11:52:47 PM

Yedi

Posts: 842
Joined: 2/11/2006
Status: offline

A Man's word is his bond and if his word is no good in my humble opinion he is not a Man but just another adolecent at best more likely if he can not follow his word and claims to be gorean.... See statement one

Man can not Folow his Word
+ Man Gives Word that he is Gorean
= HNG Hopelessly Non Gorean Horney Net Geek

Basically if he gives his word to his slave
He is giving his word to himself
And therefore if he can not keep his word to himself
He can keep his word to noone

< Message edited by Yedi -- 3/10/2006 11:54:19 PM >

(in reply to mnottertail)

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Post #: 26

RE: Infidelity and the Gorean Man - 3/11/2006 6:20:42 AM

SylentStryder

Posts: 85
Joined: 6/24/2005
Status: offline

Lets face some facts.......how many TRUE slaves are out there? How many girls, who are owned, will stand there and watch a her Master use another slave, if that hurts her? If she is in love with the man and the Master, even if he has made no promises to her, her heart would be broken. No matter how strong her heart is to serve and please, how many girls are out there that would do that?

I agree, that if a person, either free or slave, agrees with the Gorean philosophies, and strives to live them fully, then the matter of a Masters fidelity is a moot point. Unless that Master has indeed, made certain promises, then HIS honor is at stake. On that point I agree, honor, integrity, honesty, discipline, all those are what make a Gorean male a Master.

_____________________________

I am of Gor, she is in me, I am her.

(in reply to Yedi)

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RE: Infidelity and the Gorean Man - 3/11/2006 8:13:02 AM

edana

Posts: 594
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline

If edana may offer...

In my understanding based on what my master has taught me...

for most men it's a question of work vs value. it is more trouble than it is worth. a man may seek to add to his household for any number of reasons. he might choose not to add to his household for any number of reasons. whether a girl struggles, pleads, begs, moans... really has nothting to do with her being a True slave or not.

I know that if my master wanted a second slave (meaning he needed a second slave) badly enough, no amont of pleading or crying on my part would stop that. as slaves we are commanded to be open and honest, if you keep your fear to yourself instead of letting your master know how you feel, you will wind up miserable, making him feel like you kept secrets from him, and most likely hurting the new girl in the process. I have seen many instances where a new girl goes into a seemingly stable situation but then the first girl cant keep her cool and it turns into a bad situation for all.

better to beg to voice (as a slave) your concerns, fears and feelings. at least if the owner moves forward he does so with the knowledge that it is going to be Work. He at that point can make the decision ... is it more trouble than it is worth? or ...is this slave more trouble than she is worth?

If it pleases the Free...

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In service,

edana

"Discipline turns talent into ability"

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Post #: 28

RE: Infidelity and the Gorean Man - 3/11/2006 8:45:39 AM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
Status: offline

Greetings Master SylentStrider,

Actually, the idea of a woman knowing or even watching the man she loves using another woman for his pleasure is pure psychological. The hurt feelings, the fear, and insecurity come from the conditioning of society and many religions and how a woman is raised usually. Even when you are use to it, depending on the day you can still have those kinds of feelings as a slave. It is not easy to go from a he is mine and only mine mentality to realizing the slave within and what that means because her Master wishes it. The Men who own them will then make a decision. Just because a slave runs from the room at the sight of her Master playing or using or whatever another slave doesn't make her a slave.. it simply makes her a slave with consequences if her Master decides he was displeased with her doing so and punishes her.

Being a "True" slave has nothing to do with being able to watch your Master use another woman. Being a true slave has nothing to do with whether she accepts her Master using others. So i am a little unclear on what you mean by how many true slaves are out there. It seems you are implying that in order for a slave to be true she has to be able to watch her Master use another and not feel negative or hurt or whatever?

As i believe someone already said, its a reconditioning, a learning process of dealing with those feelings. The process of enslavement on many levels reconditions a woman. What is learned is usually "My" in my Master is possessive adjective, not an indication of possession of the Master. Whether this happens is whether the Master wishes to teach it to her.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 3/11/2006 8:47:33 AM >

_____________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to SylentStryder)

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Post #: 29

RE: Infidelity and the Gorean Man - 3/11/2006 4:45:32 PM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
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what 'a' master told me was...
"run, don't be a silly slut, if he has broken the promise that many times so soon and lied about a lie,
he is dishonorable."

i for one do NOT wish to belong to one that is such.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylentStryder

Lets face some facts.......how many TRUE slaves are out there? How many girls, who are owned, will stand there and watch a her Master use another slave, if that hurts her? If she is in love with the man and the Master, even if he has made no promises to her, her heart would be broken. No matter how strong her heart is to serve and please, how many girls are out there that would do that?

I agree, that if a person, either free or slave, agrees with the Gorean philosophies, and strives to live them fully, then the matter of a Masters fidelity is a moot point. Unless that Master has indeed, made certain promises, then HIS honor is at stake. On that point I agree, honor, integrity, honesty, discipline, all those are what make a Gorean male a Master.

< Message edited by fyreredsub -- 3/11/2006 4:46:44 PM >

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"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

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