Andalusite
Posts: 2356
Joined: 1/25/2009 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kimveri It's not necessarily about being "forced" into captivity, but more about making a choice between a life seeking freedom or a life seeking enslavement. I included the possibility of dying in that search because some would rather die trying to get what they seek than live settling for what they do not seek. I hope that made it more clear. :-) Oh, I thought you meant it more in the "live free or die" sense, that they would commit suicide if they couldn't get away. I don't have that ideological view, but when my panic button gets pushed, I don't have much sense of self-preservation, and I tend to react with violence. One time, someone scared me so badly that I ran straight up him, like a cat. I am very flexible in a lot of respects, very adaptable, but I don't cope well with being afraid, scared, or chronically stressed out, and unconsensual enslavement would mean all of the above. In general, I'm very compliant and cooperative, but if someone gets really verbally or physically pushy when they have no right to do so, I tend to dig in my heels and put on my best impression of a mule. Even if I would have been perfectly willing to do what they wanted if they'd been minimally polite about it, I'll refuse on general principle if they try to force me. As a switch, what relationship dynamic I'm in depends primarily on how I react to the other person. Currently, I am a slave in a M/s (non-Gorean) relationship, and am a bit dominant toward the lady I play with. I feel very strongly aware of my femininity when I'm physically overpowered in resistance play/wrestling around/etc., and when my Master pulls my hair, or if he picks me up off the ground. I can also feel very feminine when I'm the one in charge or thwacking the other person, though. Clothes help a lot - especially more fetishy things like corsets and interesting fabrics like velvet or PVC. Yoga and gymnastics, especially poses that emphasise grace and feel elegant, help me feel more aware of my femininity. I work in a career that historically has had far more men than women. I never got told that being good at math or science was unfeminine, and I enjoy some hobbies such as martial arts that tend to be more popular with men. I don't feel that those things make me masculine or unfeminine at all, but they don't tend to make me specifically focus on being a woman. I'm not quite sure how you mean the part about being put in a box. I don't believe in astrology, but I have to admit that I fit the stereotypical profile of Geminis - hard to categorise neatly. My Master likes my complexity, and I'm perfectly willing to change things to suit him. If he wants me to vote a certain way in political elections, loose weight, take up a new hobby or learn a new skill, and so forth, I'll do my best to give him what he wants. I like feeling useful, and change can be an aspect of that. On the other hand, back before I first felt submissive, I had a few men try to tell me that I was submissive because I was female, or due to my social demeanor, when I wasn't interested in them. I yelled at a couple, and laughed at a few others in person, and blocked/ignored the ones who did that online. Their attempts to get me to be in the category they wanted only served to make me more resistant to the whole idea.
< Message edited by Andalusite -- 1/6/2010 8:37:18 PM >
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