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A Quote i found interesting - 9/5/2004 6:05:11 PM

ringlets

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i read this quote in a book i am reading and it kind of struck something inside of me...maybe i am a goof...but here it is.

"But it isn't the number of strokes that you receive that indicates your strength: it is the skill that you exhibit in taking them."

i guess it hit me because i have often thought about how i wish i could take a flogging, waxing, what have you with a bit more grace...."the skill that you exhibit in taking them."

So, i guess besides sharing that quote that i found very interesting, my question is...Is that grace, in your opinion, only something that a Dom/mes teaches a sub/slave or it something that comes naturally, or can be learned on ones own (and yes i know one can't beat themselves, but more on the lines of making oneself better)? Or is this even something you agree with?

Ok i know my multiple choice thing...but that is sort of how my brain works, looks at all the sides of something and then works from there. scary, eh? lol

i sure hope that makes sense...my brain is in a whirl from this book, always gets me thinking....which can be dangerous. lol

Have a great evening and may it be filled with many smiles,

ringlets

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RE: A Quote i found interesting - 9/5/2004 7:07:44 PM

asecreter

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My first reaction is "Good lord, why would you want THAT?"

Makes it sound like ballroom dancing.

If you're uncomfortable with how you respond to a given activity, it might mean that it's simply more than you can handle.

Given that this is something you're interested in, personally, though, I think you're correct in suspecting the answer is "all of the above".

You can anticipate pain; you can know what to expect, you can insulate yourself from it by exposing yourself to it on a frequent basis and desensitizing yourself to it, you can even simply force yourself to focus on something that bears no relationship to it. But ultimately your pain threshold has a very real reason for existing and there isn't an instance where you'd want to simply blow it off for the sake of appearance. If your top is pushing you past what you can gracefully manage, that may actually be intentional or, worse still, they could be unaware or indifferent to the idea that they're doing so. For some, putting a bottom into a position where they lose control of themselves is what does it for them. On the other hand, if being pushed that far makes you less appealing to them then they're not doing themselves any favors, either.

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RE: A Quote i found interesting - 9/5/2004 7:08:20 PM

theroebabe

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Hi Ringlets.

It to me depends on what and how the dominant wants the sub to respond. Some want you to be stoic and take it without a whimper, movement or noise and others thrive on the fighting back the noise the movement.

And its hard to be yourself when all you have been in the past is what someone else wants you to be. So i think a period of nothing where the sub regains their own senses is necessary before moving on so that it can start again clean.
Roe

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RE: A Quote i found interesting - 9/5/2004 7:33:31 PM

ringlets

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Maybe i didn't word that right....maybe the word grace is the wrong word to use. How about dignity?

For example a saying my Dominant grew up with: "Anyone can take an ass whipping, but can just anyone get an ass whipping and still walk away the winner." and i don't mean ass whipping in BDSM, He was talking about as a kid getting in a fight.

It is kind of like when being chastized....you can either walk away crying and sniffling and feeling sorry for yourself....or you can walk away thinking the person is a complete jerk...to be nice......or you can walk away with grace and dignity. Take the chastizing and use it to better yourself.

So, in the lines of playing....how can one learn or better themselves in taking a play session with dignity and grace?

i don't mean and never would i mean to emply that someone should go beyond what they can handle...safewords are there for a reason and should be used when they are needed.

am i making sense? or am i just thinking too much...lol

May your evening be filled with many smiles,

ringlets

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RE: A Quote i found interesting - 9/5/2004 8:10:14 PM

asecreter

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*Blanches*

I can't identify with THAT at all. My immediate response would be to bury the person responsible. Then again, I'm guessing that we're not quite wired the same way. ;)

If you're going to chastize someone, there really ought to be a reason for it, and hopefully you can communicate that as part of the process. Should be constructive, not random and reasonless. If there's a point, then you can acknowledge it and recognize that you really HAVE learned something.

If there isn't a point, and there's certainly no reason that there HAS to be one, then you can simply blow the person off. It's like it's one thing to SAY you don't care what other people think, and completely another to actually MEAN it. But really, I don't think the answer changes -- there's absolutely no reason any of this has to center around physical pain, to be certain. We could be talking about anything that makes someone uncomfortable. Too much is too much.

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RE: A Quote i found interesting - 9/5/2004 11:24:49 PM

Estring

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I think you're overthinking this. To me this quote sounds nice, but doesn't really say anything. It is meant to give an air of depth that isn't there.
I love to have my slave scream and cry when I inflict pain on her. Does that make her more skilled in taking it or less? And more importantly, who cares?

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RE: A Quote i found interesting - 9/6/2004 6:52:46 AM

pixieunleashed

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I had a similar dilema when I was comming into my own regarding this life and dealing with people publically with it. My first Master was one that didn't want any response from his sub while he was whipping her etc.

My first scene, he told me of these rules, and we proceeded. I did my best to remain quiet, all while the soft leather floggers were hurting me. I maintained that very well till he brought out the buggy whip. I took two of those quietly and after that I started whimpering. He proceeded, I started whineing. This continued till I wound up breaking my right wrist restraint in an angry effort to reach behind myself take that whip and hit him with it a couple of times. After the restraint broke, I quickly remembered who and where I was and that I asked for this experience, so I grabbed the chain that was holding it and tried to pretend nothing happened, which worked till we were finished and he went to unclip me. I finished the scene with a minimum amount of whimpering, and as he was unclipping me, he looked up from his position at my ankles and called me a "fu**ing pansy". A name which I still hold onto this day. I am not a good sub for taking a beating with any grace.

And now when a new Dom wants to play with me, I tell them, "I am a pansy" right out in front. If you hit me hard enough, I will scream. I have not learned the value of taking a beating yet and that has brought some emotional conflict with myself. I perceive that all subs can "take a beating" and that I am just weird, or...horror of horrors, that I was never a sub to begin with. " A wannabe!" *gasps*

My fears and self-degradatoin regarding this topic have been dispelled the more I go to public parties and actually see how other subs "take their beatings" I am not the only one that whimpers with pain, and I find that wonderful.

I agree that there is a certain beauty in the ideal of watching a sub take a single tail whipping with no sounds from her, as the whip marks her skin. Wonderful idea. If I ever see that I am going to be so AMAZED and in AWE of that sub I probably won't be able to think about anything else for a few days. Back in the real world though, I remind myself it is OK for me to be how I am. The person I am playing with wants to play with ME and nothing about how someone else does has anything to do with how I am. If they are not having fun, they know how to stop it.

thanks for reading this, have a great day,

pixie

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RE: A Quote i found interesting - 9/9/2004 5:20:51 AM

INSIDEYOURMIND

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I may be missing something here, I want my sub to react, I want to know she is feeling, I want to know that her pain was given by me.
It is truly the senses that excite us, if not, go whip a rock!

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RE: A Quote i found interesting - 9/9/2004 6:51:07 AM

WayHome

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quote:

"But it isn't the number of strokes that you receive that indicates your strength: it is the skill that you exhibit in taking them."

What a bunch of crap. Neither the number of strokes nor the "skill" in taking them matters at all. Comparing yourself to others in this way makes about as much sense as ranking dominance by penis size.

Leto

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RE: A Quote i found interesting - 9/9/2004 4:18:20 PM

proudsub

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quote:

Comparing yourself to others in this way makes about as much sense as ranking dominance by penis size.

What? That's not how it's done?

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