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RE: To the general poly public... - 1/29/2010 7:02:13 AM

AQuietSimpleMan

Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline

Never Got to see the first Profile but I don't care for the one you have up either.

I, up until recently, had a poly home as well and we spent lots of time looking for the female counterpart.

Your profile comes off cold and mechanical. I never cared for pullet points. Very little is discussed about what you do want without being very negative about what you don't want.

Granted that we are in a lifestyle of consentual slavery when the wife read this she looked over and said "are they fucking serious?" when asked why she simply replied "I don't see them actually caring about the person, just want them to fill in the motions of what it is supposed to look like."

After talking to her more and reading this thread I have one suggestion.

Would YOU respond to your own Profile? Ask yourself how judgemental it comes across and then ask yourself if you would feel comfortable joining a house like that, or if you would be more afraid that you might fuck up one day and be sent packing, or decide you feel uncomfortable about something that happens in your relationship and knowing that you will not be afforded the ability to express that for fear that you will simply be told tough shit.

Just an observation

QSM

_____________________________

Guy Stud =Vs= Girl Slut ~~ Debate ENDED!

"If a Key opens many locks, then it is a Master Key, If a Lock is opened by lots of keys, then it is a Shitty Lock"

(in reply to Spyke1985)

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Post #: 21

RE: To the general poly public... - 1/29/2010 11:10:09 AM

Spyke1985

Posts: 65
Joined: 3/11/2007
From: Conyers, GA
Status: offline

Alrighty then. I completely re-wrote the profile, hopefully this time it doesn't sound angry, or resentful, or any negative emotion at all. Let's hope it's good enough this time >_<
cause I'm really tired of re-writing it.

_____________________________

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
~Herm Albright~

I admit that I should have not waded through so many thorns before I made a left turn into the soft grass. Spyke1985

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)

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Post #: 22

RE: To the general poly public... - 1/29/2010 4:51:15 PM

AQuietSimpleMan

Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline

Better.

You still hang onto some ideals that you HAVE to say in your Profile that you aren't into anyone who is Uppity or Demanding, the problem is that it comes across like you won't tolerate anyone making suggestions on anything that you do. Maybe that is just something I am reading into it but I felt the need to share.

Your profile now is simply LONG! You give a LOT of information. Much of the Info you give is the kind that should illicit questions and the fact that it is in a profile I think you might get a lot of people who decide to walk making up their mind for you on what you mean rather than ask and find out.

I have a very simple suggestion.

Keep your Profile as simple as possible. (I think you have too many interests and things that water down the purpose of your profile I think you might want to keep is down to Aboslutes that you mush have and things you absolutley will not tolerate and that is all on the interests side. and then keep your profile about you all as people and leave any comments about what the person reading will be required to do for a conversation when they are asking you for that information.)

If you are a Loving person, be loving, but when you say you are loving and then talk about any zero tolerance idea you sound ingenuine. (This means if you want your tone to come across as loving then you make everything you say as positive as possible. You made things much better this run around but there is still a tone of....... Stern Marm, that keeps coing through)

Finally.... You go to them don't expect them to come to you. (You make the contact with the women you want to get to know, send a PERSONAL letter to each person who you think fits the bill. commen t on people who review your profile and let them know you saw them looking and be genuine about what you thought about them and then give them a chance to tell you what their profile doesn't)

Those are my ideas.

Take them as you will

QSM

QSM

_____________________________

Guy Stud =Vs= Girl Slut ~~ Debate ENDED!

"If a Key opens many locks, then it is a Master Key, If a Lock is opened by lots of keys, then it is a Shitty Lock"

(in reply to Spyke1985)

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Post #: 23

RE: To the general poly public... - 1/29/2010 5:53:13 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spyke1985
No, my fiancée does not bite like a rabid, mindless animal. I suppose I should have been more clear about that... I posted the bit about him biting only to tease him in the first place, but apparently it got out of hand. Most of everything I was trying to say got out of hand, I suppose.

I honestly didn't get the impression that he was a rabid animal. But that a person would have to get used to it implied, to me anyway, that he would bite regardless of how the person in question felt about it. That with the statement that he acts like a 16 year old... well... call me cynical but most of the 16 year old guys I knew took things too far repeatedly. So I was more picturing a guy who came up and bite me HARD when I was trying to do say... my term paper or crying on the phone. Basically, at the wrong times and he's be pissed when I said "Hey, I'm doing X or dealing with Y, fuck off!" and you'd have his back regardless of what I was trying to do.

It's heartening to see you taking the advice you are getting. From the profile, I wasn't sure that you would - no offense intended. Hence why I didn't put quite as much time into my response.

I'm looking at the rewrite now. Personally, I'm not a fan of the "O/our" thing but plenty of people are so that's no big deal. It would just mean I'd have to ask if you would require me to write that way.

Quite frankly, it's like looking at night and day. I don't know if I'm the sort of person you'd be trying to attract (I wouldn't fit anyway as I switch between red and blonde hair every five years or so, lol) but that is the sort of profile I'd be interested in writing to. It's very warm, gives me an idea of what you want and shows me (by mentioning positive little details like the cell phone) that you care about the people in your life and that you pay attention to them.

I think you'll have much better luck with this profile, though poly dating does seem to be a waiting game. Good luck!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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Post #: 24

RE: To the general poly public... - 1/29/2010 6:34:18 PM

Spyke1985

Posts: 65
Joined: 3/11/2007
From: Conyers, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

Better.

You still hang onto some ideals that you HAVE to say in your Profile that you aren't into anyone who is Uppity or Demanding, the problem is that it comes across like you won't tolerate anyone making suggestions on anything that you do. Maybe that is just something I am reading into it but I felt the need to share.

No indeed, I am perfectly willing to listen to and seriously think about any suggestion coming from any of my subs, and in fact I often put the suggestions to good use. I am not a Dom that doesn't listen to her subs. I simply don't want to have to deal with a princess slave. By princess slave, I mean the girl that just says she's a slave to get a free ride, and doesn't really want to kneel or submit to anyone, but instead wants them to worship her because she's so superior to them. This is not my idea of a good time, this is one of my ideas of drama, and you're right, I will not tolerate that shit. Suggestions are more than wonderful, demands (aside from limits) are not.

quote:

Your profile now is simply LONG! You give a LOT of information. Much of the Info you give is the kind that should illicit questions and the fact that it is in a profile I think you might get a lot of people who decide to walk making up their mind for you on what you mean rather than ask and find out.

If they're not interested enough to ask questions, then I'm not interested enough to not answer them. :)

quote:

I have a very simple suggestion.

Keep your Profile as simple as possible. (I think you have too many interests and things that water down the purpose of your profile I think you might want to keep is down to Absolutes that you must have and things you absolutely will not tolerate and that is all on the interests side. and then keep your profile about you all as people and leave any comments about what the person reading will be required to do for a conversation when they are asking you for that information.

I got several comments on how there was more information about what we were looking for than what we were about, so I added a few things. I'm not trying to please everyone with my profile, I just wanted to make sure it wasn't hostile anymore.

quote:

If you are a Loving person, be loving, but when you say you are loving and then talk about any zero tolerance idea you sound ingenuous. (This means if you want your tone to come across as loving then you make everything you say as positive as possible. You made things much better this run around but there is still a tone of....... Stern Marm, that keeps coming through)

My entire family is extremely loving, and while that love will be showered on the new addition, they need to also understand that love is not all there is that we can offer. It's more than enough, but there's always other things to give. If I have to be stern at times, so be it. It's a part of being a Dom, it can't always be hearts and cupids lol :)

quote:

Finally.... You go to them don't expect them to come to you. (You make the contact with the women you want to get to know, send a PERSONAL letter to each person who you think fits the bill. comment on people who review your profile and let them know you saw them looking and be genuine about what you thought about them and then give them a chance to tell you what their profile doesn't)

I agree totally, and in fact commented on that earlier. I do indeed contact the girls I think may fit the bill, and in fact have received a response. I'm still looking of course, a first response isn't the end all, though she may be, we shall see.

quote:

Those are my ideas.

And I thank you for them :)

_____________________________

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
~Herm Albright~

I admit that I should have not waded through so many thorns before I made a left turn into the soft grass. Spyke1985

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Post #: 25

RE: To the general poly public... - 1/30/2010 1:21:01 AM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4035
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Quite frankly, it's like looking at night and day.

Agreed.

One thing I'd like to add is that the new profile is written in a very family-oriented sort of way. Now, the odd situation of your third (the husband's pet) not actually living with you aside, if you genuinely see yourselves as a family, it would likely be an attractive thing seeing all three of you together in some of the images (as it is, it doesn't seem like the third is even pictured). Considering that the way the profile is written implies that her inclusion would be in a role of being emotionally and sexually active with all partners, it would help actually having a profile that incorporates each member.

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

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Post #: 26

RE: To the general poly public... - 1/30/2010 3:54:05 AM

Elisabella

Posts: 3939
Joined: 5/22/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spyke1985

Also, Elisabella, I'm curious as to where in that profile I stated that my family does use drugs??? I didn't make the statement of preferring that the potential addition not using any hardcore drugs as a statement of hypocrisy. We don't use hardcore drugs, nor will we ever.

The part where you said that you drink and smoke. I was pointing out the amusement at the one response toward hard drugs (if you use them you're a loser) vs the other response toward legal drugs that are also lethal and addictive (if you don't use them you're a loser).

I don't have a problem with your preferences, and I wouldn't date a drug addict (either legal or illegal) but it did strike me as amusing the way you drew a line between "a dull person doesn't use them" vs "a person who uses them is undesirable" based on legality. Especially because I'm the type of person who would much rather date someone who did cocaine twice a year, than the type of person who would smoke a pack of cigarettes every day. But again, just preference.

Anyway I like your new profile much better, and it seems like the type of profile that will bring you luck :) Good luck finding someone!

< Message edited by Elisabella -- 1/30/2010 3:57:51 AM >

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Post #: 27

RE: To the general poly public... - 1/30/2010 9:19:52 AM

AnimusRex

Posts: 2104
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline

I think the new profile is much better. However, I think it really needs to describe how you have a deep yearning to accept your submissive side, and take up living as the sister submissive to a man in his late 40's to early 50's; The ideal man being someone in the creative field, who perhaps has glasses, dresses conservatively, and enjoys things like hiking, painting, and cropping a girls vulva until she begs for mercy.

Then it would be perfect.

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Post #: 28

RE: To the general poly public... - 1/30/2010 12:21:22 PM

petcerina

Posts: 143
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline

i love the new profile. i can't even believe that it was as hostile as it was before, because you seem so wonderfully nice and pleasant, but not the type to be screwed around with. i hope that was what you were going for, since it came across loud and clear. You don't have to be harsh to let others know that you are a force to be reckoned with if crossed.

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Post #: 29

RE: To the general poly public... - 1/30/2010 6:35:43 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I don't see anything worng with your profile. Be homest in what you want and eventually you will find her. It takes time, lots of time to find someone to fit in. It took Master and his slave 5 years to find me. Be patient and stick to your ideals.

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Post #: 30