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Collared, but looking only for myself


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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Polyamorous Lifestyles >> Collared, but looking only for myself Page: [1]
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Collared, but looking only for myself - 1/31/2010 7:43:14 AM   
petcerina


Posts: 143
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline 		i just received another e-mail today about how i have my profile wrong. i keep trying to e-mail back the people who point this out, but they always have me blocked. Perhaps this group could help me?

i am an owned slave looking for another female, but i'm not looking for a unicorn. i'm looking for someone to be with me and only me. Master and i have such different taste in girls that we look separately for one to be with each of us. i'm not opposed to a happy triad, but i've come to the conclusion that not only is it very hard to find, but it simply is not necessary for us to get our needs fulfilled. So my profile is listed as just me. i do not have Master's information on there since all they really need to do is be cordial with Him.

Should i be listed as a couple? It felt misleading to me since the other girl wouldn't be dating a couple. Just dating me.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Collared, but looking only for myself - 1/31/2010 10:10:07 AM   
Spyke1985


Posts: 65
Joined: 3/11/2007
From: Conyers, GA
Status: offline 		I don't see it as misleading, no. I read your profile before you posted, and it seemed clear enough to me. If I was in a position to be that woman that would fulfill that need, I would. But since you're looking for yourself only, I don't see any reason why you should list your profile as a couple profile. Say that you're collared yes, but you're not looking for the two of you, so I would say no, a couple profile is not needed. Just my opinion.

_____________________________

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
~Herm Albright~

I admit that I should have not waded through so many thorns before I made a left turn into the soft grass. Spyke1985

(in reply to petcerina)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Collared, but looking only for myself - 1/31/2010 2:18:49 PM   
AQuietSimpleMan


Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline 		Ultimatley what you are suggesting is a conflict of interest when you leave your Master out of the situation.

You are part of a couple so no matter how the connection works anyone dating you would be dating a couple.

I believe in a 100% Transparent Communication foundation. Anything you are purposefully leaving out is being misleading.

Just my P's and Q's on the subject.

QSM

_____________________________

Guy Stud =Vs= Girl Slut ~~ Debate ENDED!

"If a Key opens many locks, then it is a Master Key, If a Lock is opened by lots of keys, then it is a Shitty Lock"

(in reply to Spyke1985)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Collared, but looking only for myself - 1/31/2010 3:55:36 PM   
petcerina


Posts: 143
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline 		i guess i don't understand. i'm not doing this behind His back or anything, and it is stated clearly in my profile that i am owned. It's just that He can't help me find one who suits me, because His desires are so completely different than mine. In simple words, He wants someone different than me, and i want someone who is similar to me. It's hard to get much more opposite than that.

We have already done this once before. i dated a vanilla girl, and although He met her and thought she was nice, He never came on dates with me, and He never talked to her outside of that meeting. No one was in the dark. Her husband was the same way. It worked pretty harmoniously that way. The relationship broke apart because her and i were simply not compatible. It had nothing to do with having other partners.

i would appreciate feedback if my profile is misleading. i have tried to be as forthcoming as possible.

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Collared, but looking only for myself - 1/31/2010 6:41:12 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2104
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		I don't think you are being misleading; what you want isn't something that fits neatly in a checkoff box on E-Harmony, or Collarme for that matter. But you are intent on being open with any potential partners so the worst case is that someone thinks you are a single female, then after the first few conversations, realizes you have a man in your life.

Its like the way people don't disclose that they have kids until you speak to them once or twice. Its no big deal, and if that is a deal breaker, the worst they have done is waste a few emails.

Don't sweat it.

(in reply to petcerina)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Collared, but looking only for myself - 2/1/2010 3:47:29 AM   
petmonkey


Posts: 1049
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline 		petcerina,

In the top paragraph, i'd do something like this:
Seeking GF of my very own. i am owned by Master. i am not seeking a relationship with a another male. i am seeking a relationship with a female separate from my relationship with Master. Thank you . . .

"No males" in the first paragraph doesn't preclude getting messages from them, you opening and reading them or sending messages to males you wish to friend.  It might cut down on the clutter though.  The first two statements are what people will see when flipping through profiles.


< Message edited by petmonkey -- 2/1/2010 3:48:55 AM >

_____________________________

Be excellent to each other.


(in reply to petcerina)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Collared, but looking only for myself - 2/1/2010 10:44:29 AM   
Eleutherios


Posts: 85
Joined: 6/6/2006
From: Houston, Tx
Status: offline 		My profile is the same. I'm married. It says so in my profile. But it's not listed as a couple's profile. My wife and I enjoy sharing lovers, but we also like having separate relationships. And right now that's what we both want. Nothing wrong with that.

_____________________________

-E


~
"I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it."
—Thomas Jefferson—
~

(in reply to petcerina)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Collared, but looking only for myself - 2/1/2010 10:59:58 AM   
Domin8tingUrDrmz


Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline 		I don't list myself as a couple either. I'm seeking a boy for me. I clearly state on my website (for those who bother to read it) that I have a vanilla boyfriend. However, the only involvement they would have with him is that of a friend, at most.

Since my boyfriend isn't involved in the search, I don't feel the need to have a couple's profile. In my opinion, a couple's profile is used when both parties of the couple plan on 'sharing' the one they are seeking...or something along that line (okay, couples who aren't looking for others probably use that too so they don't get hit on as much...lol).

However, you do what you feel comfortable with. So long as you do mention you are owned, then you aren't misleading anyone. If someone clicks on your pink link thinking you are single instead of seeing a purple link (for a couple) and they get upset about that...that is their problem. Plus, they probably aren't the type of people you want to be involved with anyway.

_____________________________

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(in reply to petcerina)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Collared, but looking only for myself - 2/1/2010 1:37:25 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		I can only imagine that what he has in his little pea brain is that somewhere along the line he will get to enjoy in the fruits of your labor.

Good luck.  he probably doesn't care about any compatability issues whatsoever.  In his mind it will work out as long as she has a few tits, holes and a mouth.

Again, good luck with that.

_____________________________



(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Collared, but looking only for myself - 2/2/2010 8:13:49 AM   
yellowroses


Posts: 165
Joined: 6/12/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: petcerina


i've come to the conclusion that not only is it very hard to find, but it simply is not necessary for us to get our needs fulfilled.


I do not think you are being misleading either.

I put the above quote as part of my post because it sums up very well how I feel about finding another girl for us.

Good luck in your search.

kim

(in reply to petcerina)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Collared, but looking only for myself - 2/22/2010 8:05:20 PM   
MsLeatherLace69


Posts: 94
Joined: 2/14/2010
Status: offline 		As long as you are ultimately honest about what you seek I see no problem.  Finding the correct way to word it in a profile is a challenge.  I assume you wont jump into bed after 2 emails so talk it out. 

I do not list as a couple.  I want boys and Master has no interest in them.  Master will share any girls I find.  Master's rules. 

(in reply to yellowroses)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Collared, but looking only for myself - 2/23/2010 1:12:18 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

The fact that these people e-mail and block you before you can reply suggests, to me anyway, that they really don't care what you have to say. They just wanted to lash out at someone and you happened to be the target. I used to get such PMs regarding my weight a lot and occasionally still do.

So... fuck 'em. Don't give them another thought. Honestly, I'm looking for much the same thing. Val and I would love to have a triad but we're also open to each of us other having our own partners. As we each already had a profile, we elected to make a couple's profile that we both reference on our seperate profiles. So we make it clear that we are part of a couple, our "coupleness" has a profile if someone is interested in that and we each have our own profiles for those who aren't interested in being with both of us.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MsLeatherLace69)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Collared, but looking only for myself - 2/25/2010 1:02:00 AM   
SoftKajira


Posts: 44
Joined: 3/14/2007
Status: offline 		It's not just you, I'm not poly or looking for anything other than friends, and even say I'm owned, but some dickwad emailed me cursing me out basically because i don't have a couples profile. It gave me a very good laugh for the day. So just ignore those people, what you want sounds pretty clear to me, if somebody is to stupid to get that then you don't want to talk to them anyway.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Collared, but looking only for myself - 2/26/2010 2:18:48 PM   
mirror88


Posts: 21
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline

Spell it all out there. The right person will come to you.

(in reply to SoftKajira)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Collared, but looking only for myself - 2/26/2010 3:27:32 PM   
PrincessDonna


Posts: 189
Joined: 7/7/2006
Status: offline 		Ignore the CM police that seem to have nothing better to do then go through every single profile and point out what THEY think is wrong while they are still searching for their "right",good luck in your search and ignore the haters they know what their doing

(in reply to mirror88)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Collared, but looking only for myself - 2/26/2010 3:32:19 PM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3197
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: petcerina

i just received another e-mail today about how i have my profile wrong. i keep trying to e-mail back the people who point this out, but they always have me blocked. Perhaps this group could help me?

i am an owned slave looking for another female, but i'm not looking for a unicorn. i'm looking for someone to be with me and only me. Master and i have such different taste in girls that we look separately for one to be with each of us. i'm not opposed to a happy triad, but i've come to the conclusion that not only is it very hard to find, but it simply is not necessary for us to get our needs fulfilled. So my profile is listed as just me. i do not have Master's information on there since all they really need to do is be cordial with Him.

Should i be listed as a couple? It felt misleading to me since the other girl wouldn't be dating a couple. Just dating me.



If you feel your profile accurately describes who you are and what you seek then that is all that matters. Welcome to the boards and good luck in your search.


_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to petcerina)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Collared, but looking only for myself - 2/26/2010 3:59:12 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4211
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Los Angeles, CA
Status: offline 		Ditto.

Lots of men bait women, by pointing out how wrong you are, as a means of initiating conversations.  They find they get a lot more actual responses from pissed off women, than they do from the women who read their lame form letter, and get bored.

Have whatever type of profile that feels right to you.

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to Wolf2Bear)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Collared, but looking only for myself - 3/10/2010 4:07:30 PM   
Darkeroticpass


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/10/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: petcerina

i just received another e-mail today about how i have my profile wrong. i keep trying to e-mail back the people who point this out, but they always have me blocked. Perhaps this group could help me?

i am an owned slave looking for another female, but i'm not looking for a unicorn. i'm looking for someone to be with me and only me. Master and i have such different taste in girls that we look separately for one to be with each of us. i'm not opposed to a happy triad, but i've come to the conclusion that not only is it very hard to find, but it simply is not necessary for us to get our needs fulfilled. So my profile is listed as just me. i do not have Master's information on there since all they really need to do is be cordial with Him.

Should i be listed as a couple? It felt misleading to me since the other girl wouldn't be dating a couple. Just dating me.



I can find no wrong in it long as your Master approves. Your looking for you, have the profile the way you want it.

Take care.

< Message edited by Darkeroticpass -- 3/10/2010 4:08:24 PM >

(in reply to petcerina)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Collared, but looking only for myself - 3/12/2010 12:42:59 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3650
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

Ultimatley what you are suggesting is a conflict of interest when you leave your Master out of the situation.

You are part of a couple so no matter how the connection works anyone dating you would be dating a couple.

I believe in a 100% Transparent Communication foundation. Anything you are purposefully leaving out is being misleading.

Just my P's and Q's on the subject.

QSM


And I am going to disagree with QSM on this one, from my perspective. It seems to me that the OP never said anything about "leaving her Master out". She was pretty clear about saying that they had already discussed and had an agreement in place to allow them to seek separately for companions, as their tastes are so different. With that being said, I don't see that there is -any- duplicity at all in her having a private profile.

I am in a multi-person household. Each of us has our own personal accounts -- there IS no House account. Instead, we are open and honest with both sides -- with our existing companions (Keeper or servant) at home, and with our potential new companions outside of the House. We also practice 100% transparent communication -- but that doesn't close the door on the possibility that members of our household will have companions with whom they are intimate, who are not associated, other than as associates or friends of the House, with the rest of us. Most of them (especially the ones who live apart from the core household) seek companions on their own, and the only requirement we have is regular testing for disease, and, if a member of the household has a partner who is not tested 'clean', and willing to let the other members of the household see the documentation upon request, then whether or not xhe abides by a condom compact, xhe must have 6 months of clean STD testing before any unprotected sexual contact will be allowed to happen with House members.

This opens up the field to affection -- and I think that I would find myself to be a harder, less compassionate person if I denied those I care about the opportunity to celebrate joyfully with another person with whom they are attracted... It just makes common sense, to me, to allow that to be possible. In return, our members on both sides of the kneel have been forthright and honest with us and with their outside companions about their obligations, their plans, and their willingness and capacity to enjoy such outside dalliances. If and when such dalliances graduate into romances or committed relationships, these same companions then go through the process of becoming formally part of the household, and that, too, benefits us all.

Calla


_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)
Profile   Post #: 19
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