sunshinemiss
Posts: 16506
Joined: 11/26/2007
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Hi Cheryl,
I'm responding to your note to Celtic. My color changer doesn't seem to be working well, so I'm sorry the differentiation between your post and mine are not quite as easily managed as usual.
I always thought that the principles of BDSM were about erotic or sexual play between two consenting adults. What has the main concepts of Gor IE slave or free moralities got to do with the hundreds of permutations of sexual kinks that BDSM embraces when Gor’s sexual preference is almost predominantly male dominance, with the few exceptions being considered aberrant due to frustration and unhappiness. I imagine a BDSM Domme would be most upset at being told she is a Domme due to the lack of men able to dominate her which is leading to deeply hidden unhappiness, after she stopped laughing at least.
There are a number of threads that have been started by people who are not into sexual kink, sexual play, etc. Have you not heard of Old School Leather or of people getting their caps? Do you not know that there are people who talk over and over about commitment, connection, relationships? Have you never noticed that a huge portion of the Gorean threads talk about the same things? Not really so different.
I have seen many discussions about which rope is best or ball gag V penis gag, bottoms topping or what makes a good Dominant or submissive. However I don’t recall a specific BDSM based discussion on Home Stones V the flag as BDSM has no concept of Home Stones. Gor has slaves, not submissives or bottoms and certainly no switches. The only time women’s clothes are used is to humiliate not titillate and men and women do not change genders or believe they were born in the wrong body.
Many of the women here identify as Free Women who are also submissives or switches. They may not say to you "hey I'm a X-type person", but that doesn't mean they don't behave in that manner or live their lives that way. Many of the Free Women here have publicly said they are submissive to their Free Companion. Beyond that, they just don't tell folks. That's cool. They still fit in the definition of submissive and switch. You might notice that over on the BDSM side quite a number of folks are pretty private as well. There have been many discussions over here about topping from the bottom although there were different words used. I mean seriously... who can forget the T and A show? It's an extreme example, but a number of discussions have occurred about "mastering a woman" and how that process works... and how the woman may respond. Also, the BDSM folks have talked about topics like Home Stones - like what are the important objects in your life, who are the people that make up your family, what is on your altar, what do different objects represent. The words may be different, but the sentiment is the same. Again, not too different.
I have never met a weekend Gorean who was accepted as Gorean and yet many BDSM’rs happily only come out to play at weekends or specific play parties.
Of course you have. You just didn't accept those Goreans in YOUR circle of friends. Who are YOU to decide who is or isn't something? Many Goreans come out to play for special events too. BDSM people have the same discussion - and poke fun of it ... calling people twue and weal.
While there are superficial similarities in a small area of the sexual side to a minor aspect of sexual male dominance with bondage and female sexual slavery, there are many concrete differences. To a BDSM’er the superficial sexual similarities that come under the heading of BDSM have much greater importance than they really do.
This also is not true. Obviously you have not noticed the myriad of thread about politics, religion, ethics, dealing with parents with alzheimers, cancer survivors, recipe threads, travel discussions, support and celebratory threads. While many people on the BDSM side of things understand that there is a common interest in creating certain types of relationships, the people who participate in the threads here, and the people that are real life friends RARELY discuss the kinds of things you have mentioned above. I will grant that as for the "which gag is best" types of discussions, generally speaking people talk about safety - emotional, physical, intellectual. That's something I don't see over here as much. Goreans seem to have more of the "every person is an island" kind of mindset. The fact that BDSM folks feel it is their responsibiltiy to share information bodes well for them. There is something honorable in sharing wisdom.
Just like the people on this forum, people on the other forums come here because there is a shorthand for certain things. It is this sort of belief that BDSM folks are just interacting due to "sexual similarities" that keeps this kind of prejudice going. The truth is that what you are saying isn't even in the same ballpark. And frankly the percentage of Goreans into S/M is probably not that far off from the BDSM folks. *Might want to check how many people over there are into M/s... you know the same thing folks over here are into!
In the end Cheryl, you and others often say you're not into BDSM. That's cool. However, why would you come into someone's home, take advantage of their hospitatlity, and then belittle them? There are a number of Gorean only sites. If you and others like you are so offended / irritated by / disliking of BDSMers, why are you here? Why are you rude to the people who have so graciously offered you space to interact?
Best,
sunshine
< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 3/30/2010 4:40:42 AM >
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Yes, I am a wonton hussy.
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RE: Is it ever difficult to be a Gorean? - 
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