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Farewell to a friend

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Gorean Lifestyles >> Farewell to a friend

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Farewell to a friend - 2/20/2010 3:37:22 PM

Dinnardin

Posts: 368
Joined: 1/9/2007
Status: online

Many of you who spent time in yahoo, back in the days when many of us still chatted, may remember char (chardonnay).
She spent significant time in and around Gorean rooms back in the day, and until recently, still chatted in roleplay rooms, often here in cm.
She died last friday (yes, I am fully aware of all of the death hoaxes we have seen over the years, but, in this case, I have seen her obituary (her real name was M***** T*********, and her local paper, the Pahrump Valley Times carried the obit on thursday of this week))
She tended to be fun to be around, and was always a challenge in scrabble type games (anyone remember literati?), where she was one of the few I have known who have consistantly challenged me, and even rather often beaten me.
Some of you, I am sure, may not have liked her, but, I am certain, many did, or at least appreciated the sense of humor and the sense of fun she brought to every situation.
I, for one, will miss her.

John, AKA Dinnardin

edited to remove name.

< Message edited by VideoAdminSigma -- 2/22/2010 6:49:46 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: Farewell to a friend - 2/20/2010 4:53:04 PM

Musicmystery

Posts: 15304
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline

Sorry to hear it, John.

They say you are only truly dead when the last person who remembers you dies.

Here's to fond memories.

Tim

< Message edited by Musicmystery -- 2/20/2010 4:54:52 PM >

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(in reply to Dinnardin)

Post #: 2

RE: Farewell to a friend - 2/20/2010 5:17:48 PM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

Greetings Master Dinnardin,

I'm sorry for your loss. Please accept my sincerest condolences.

I wish you well,

zeph

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Post #: 3

RE: Farewell to a friend - 2/20/2010 7:42:37 PM

ElizabethAnne

Posts: 1710
Status: offline

Hello,

I remember her well; she was quite a character. One thing about her, there was always something going on when she was about.

May she rest in peace.

Elizabeth

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 4

RE: Farewell to a friend - 2/20/2010 8:53:27 PM

Hiskajirah

Posts: 929
Joined: 1/9/2008
Status: offline

Greetings Master Dinnardin

Thank you as I had no idea. I just spoke to char a few months ago in a chat room she moderated that was accessible here on CM. . Chatting with her from time to time over the years, many years.

She may be gone, but never forgotten. I for one will not forget her... too many memories there.

Warm wishes,
~twinkle

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Post #: 5

RE: Farewell to a friend - 2/20/2010 11:09:22 PM

Rule

Posts: 7805
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: online

I am sorry for your loss.

May the God of the Dead reward her according to her merits.

(in reply to Dinnardin)

Post #: 6

RE: Farewell to a friend - 2/21/2010 12:00:33 AM

Koa

Posts: 272
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline

I remember her as well, she will be missed.

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Post #: 7

RE: Farewell to a friend - 2/21/2010 10:23:44 AM

AnimusRex

Posts: 2104
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline

I do remember her from the Yahoo rooms. She spoke with a voice that was sincere and witty and wry.
I am very saddened to hear about her loss.

She will be missed.

(in reply to Dinnardin)

Post #: 8

RE: Farewell to a friend - 2/22/2010 5:46:20 PM

Dinnardin

Posts: 368
Joined: 1/9/2007
Status: online

I have been giving a lot of thought to the events which followed the death of char...
I found out about her death the day after it happened, and yet, I ended up having to wait almost a full week to confirm her death through independent means, in this case, the obituary which ran in the Pahrump Valley Times, her local newspaper, which I was able to access online.

Isn't it a ridiculous situation that we have reached, that when we hear of someone dying, we have to find outside confirmation of the death before we can treat it as we should?

Over the past decade or so, many Goreans have died....in some case several times. There have been hoaxes carried out by the corpse, as it were (witness Hersius and celitan, as examples). There have been others carried out by outside parties (I can't remember the name, but, back in the Yahoo days, there was a person who went on vacation, and, when they returned, found out that they had "died" during their absence). This hurts not only the person who is the target of the hoax, but their friends who have gone through the pain and heartache of the loss of a friend.

The other end of this is what happened with char...she really did die, but, thanks to all the hoaxes, I had doubts and had to wait almost a week for proof in order to be able to begin mourning her.

That is utterly unacceptable. Many of us use the word honor in describing the Gorean ethos (not as the only word, but as one aspect of it)...well, I put it to you all...how is there any honor AT ALL in causing such pain and distress through actions such as this, and in planting the seeds of doubt which now surround any death we hear of?

It is time for everyone to grow up, and, if they are the sort who would conduct a death hoax, to, simply put, STOP BEING A TOTAL FUCKWAD.

Imagine if you carried out a hoax of your own death, and your mother heard of it, at a time when you are not reachable...
How do you think she would feel??

Now, with that said, I will probably be offline for a few days next week (moving)...the odds are rather high that I will not die during that time...and, hopefully, no-one will claim that I have.

John, AKA Dinnardin

< Message edited by Dinnardin -- 2/22/2010 5:47:32 PM >

(in reply to AnimusRex)

Post #: 9

RE: Farewell to a friend - 2/22/2010 6:48:34 PM

HisSub1213

Posts: 214
Joined: 11/3/2008
Status: offline

I met char here on CM, and enjoyed talking with her very much. I'm so sorry to hear of her passing.

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(in reply to Dinnardin)

Post #: 10

RE: Farewell to a friend - 2/24/2010 12:53:12 PM

Zevar

Posts: 786
Status: offline

With the news of Char passing I was at a loss for words. After much thought of how to speak to the loss of her I am leaving this link here in her memory.

http://www.thelightbeyond.com/movie.html

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Post #: 11

RE: Farewell to a friend - 2/24/2010 4:14:40 PM

Louve00

Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

I have crossed all kinds of on-line roads. I have seen the reaction and the hurt of many who were tricked into believing someone died when it was a hoax. I have known people online, and found out....later....that they passed. (I think the worst one for me, was finding out a female friend of mine, who I met online and who lived in the same home town I grew up in, placed flowers on the graves of my mother and father and sent me pictures of them with the flowers, so I could see it. I didn't ask her. She just did it. Her passing, after her touching my personal life so personally, made me grieve her death and feel the loss in a very personal, close way. But I think what hurt me the most about her passing was I didn't know about it til she was already cold and buried in the ground.

Thats what I hate about online life too. You have a choice. You can make an online life and keep it an online life, not confusing or mixing the lines of offline and online. Or you can mix those lines, have a closer keeping of the people we hold dear, at the cost of being vulnerable to scams, hoaxes, or just plain out cruelty and hurt at the whim of another. I have chosen to keep the lines unmixed. I have online aquaintenances, admittedly, some knowing more aspects of me than those I hang around with in real life (except my husband), I'll talk to them on the phone, but I try not to get too personal or attached. I know its a loss that I chose to lose when I decided to keep it that way.

But I've seen so many scams, am personal witness to so many untruths, that I just don't trust the internet. And because of that I guess I don't get mad when I do find out of a friends passing online. I lament it. I tell them I'm sorry I wasn't there for them. Then, practically, move on.

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(in reply to Dinnardin)

Post #: 12

RE: Farewell to a friend - 2/27/2010 3:56:12 AM

LordODiscipline

Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

I remember her as engaging, without personal prejudice and forthright.

I recall her handling of rooms well and the fact that she enjoyed a good (and, even heated) discussion on occasions.

I seldom ever went to Yahoo because of the room issues and the amount of people who were not reality based... But, it was always a pleasure to speak with her.

I am sincerely sorry to hear about this.

R/
Joseph

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dinnardin

Many of you who spent time in yahoo, back in the days when many of us still chatted, may remember char (chardonnay).
She spent significant time in and around Gorean rooms back in the day, and until recently, still chatted in roleplay rooms, often here in cm.
She died last friday (yes, I am fully aware of all of the death hoaxes we have seen over the years, but, in this case, I have seen her obituary (her real name was M***** T*********, and her local paper, the Pahrump Valley Times carried the obit on thursday of this week))
She tended to be fun to be around, and was always a challenge in scrabble type games (anyone remember literati?), where she was one of the few I have known who have consistantly challenged me, and even rather often beaten me.
Some of you, I am sure, may not have liked her, but, I am certain, many did, or at least appreciated the sense of humor and the sense of fun she brought to every situation.
I, for one, will miss her.

John, AKA Dinnardin

edited to remove name.

_____________________________

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(in reply to Dinnardin)

Post #: 13

RE: Farewell to a friend - 2/27/2010 4:12:49 AM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

I'm sorry for the loss of one many of you find dear.

I didn't realize this was the gorean board, so I cannot say I knew her as I am not gorean. I do hope those of you who were fond of her keep her with you in your hearts.

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Post #: 14

RE: Farewell to a friend - 2/27/2010 11:14:53 AM

Silentrunner26

Posts: 163
Joined: 7/15/2009
Status: offline

We forget that this is just a short stop on a longer journey we all take . We forget or just don't care to tell those we care about what are lives where like before they came along . We think to ourselves that they know what they mean to us . We forget whether they know or not it is still up to us to remind them before we no longer have they chance . Take time today to remind yourself that thwere are people who you will miss and remind them that they will be missed .

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)

Post #: 15

RE: Farewell to a friend - 9/5/2010 2:05:40 PM

noellah

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/4/2010
Status: offline

After recently discovering CM and this post, my heart was filled with memories of char and the many good times we all spent in the Yahoo rooms. i truly miss that community. may she know great peace.

(in reply to Silentrunner26)

Post #: 16

RE: Farewell to a friend - 9/5/2010 2:22:35 PM

VideoAdminTheta

Posts: 2866
Joined: 10/24/2009
Status: offline

I remember chardonnay and am saddened to hear of her passing. My thoughts will be with those who knew and loved her.

Thank you for letting us know.

(in reply to noellah)

Post #: 17

RE: Farewell to a friend - 9/5/2010 2:27:07 PM

MastrVran

Posts: 354
Joined: 3/15/2006
Status: offline

What I remember of her was always nice. Sorry she is gone.

Any who would make a Hoax of a Death are sad misguided individuals.

MV

(in reply to Dinnardin)

Post #: 18

RE: Farewell to a friend - 9/27/2010 8:08:40 AM

unownedredhead

Posts: 498
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

oh Jesus? char is gone? for real? i loved her we chatted on line and spoke in depth about Gor and slavery and life. she helped me sort some things out in my head. i am sobbing like a baby, i am so sorry for your loss and the pain this must cause her family. she spoke of missing Gor, i confessed i missed being kajira. she was a quality person who taught me so much. she shared a dance she had written, it was elegant and wonderful and sexy, i will never be able to be as a good a slave of her ever and now wish i had saved the dance. i did not save it because of honor. it is not right to save another s dance and especially not honorable to post it pretending it is yours. she told me of being surprised to be in a Gor room and have another slave, word for word, post one of her unbelievably elegant serves. she told me she hates when she saw a kajira steal a serve and she also understood how a kajira would steal a serve, the pressure to be pleasing and wishing encouragement and a good girl from a free person. *wiping my eyes so i can see the screen* i have not been on c.com much lately and regret horribly i have not spoken to her in a few months. thank you Master Dinnardin for sharing this sad new, my heart aches for her family and friends. it feels like a fairy has been smacked with a rolled up newspaper... just THAP... and she is gone. another on line kajira friend of mine is in the hospital because her pregnancy is at risk. i regret not talking to char lately and don't want to make lose the chance to tell a sister slave how much she is cared for.... so i am going to go leave a message of love.

pru

pru

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Post #: 19

RE: Farewell to a friend - 10/2/2010 2:38:34 AM

MasterZehl

Posts: 5
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

I remember talking to chardonnay a number of times over the years in Yahoo and IRC. Rest well chardonnay

As to the hoaxes, I had no idea I went to prison, until I read about it here in the forums. I have zero tolerance for anyone that perpetrates a hoax involving themselves, or anyone else.

(in reply to unownedredhead)

Post #: 20

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