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Mixed relationships - 3/8/2010 7:16:54 AM

DarkSteven

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First, a disclaimer - I know how to spell Gor and that's about it.

I've occasionally been attracted to some Gorean s types, and wondered if a relationship could work with one partner Gorean and the other not. I can't imagine a Gorean master having a non-Gorean slave (unless of course he trained her in Gor) - could a non-Gorean Dom mesh with a Gorean s type?

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RE: Mixed relationships - 3/8/2010 7:36:01 AM

ishyB

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Greetings Master,

in my opinion, slaves, at least from the Gorean perspective, become whatever the Master desires from them.
This means that a girl does not have to be Gorean, or even like things Gorean, to become owned by a Gorean man.

If he is able to master her, and compel her obedience from her, he will train her in whatever extent he feels comfortable in.
While it can be beneficial for a slave who serves Gorean men to have read the books, because it clarifies the "why" of many orders; most often it isn't really necessary to understand the "why" of things before obeying, and therefore not really necessary for a slave to have read the books to be owned by a Gorean man.

The same thing applies in reverse.
If a BDSM D-type is capable of mastering a certain woman with Gorean leanings, and he compels her obedience from her, he will be able to transform her into what he wants her to be.
He might incorporate her Gorean tendencies or not, as pleases him, and she may try to serve him in a Goreanesque fashion, if that falls within the parameters of what he desires, but him being Gorean isn't a perquisite for the relationship... only his capability of compelling her to bend to his will is.

I don't think, however, that Gorean s-types mix very well on general with D-types (either BDSM or self-proclaimed Goreans) who see a slave as anything but property.
A lot of BDSM relationships are founded on the idea that the relationship is still in essence a partnership, and that while protocol for both is different, both partners still have equal human right/value within the relationship that just manifests itself in a different fashion.

While this works well for a lot of people within the BDSM crowd, Goreans would most often describe this type of relationship as a Free Companionship (essentially a relationship between two free people where the woman still views the man as the "head of the household".)
As such, this type of relationship is most often the absolute opposite of what Gorean s-types are looking for.

I wish you well,

ishy

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RE: Mixed relationships - 3/8/2010 8:12:37 AM

Musicmystery

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Steven,

I do know of one example. But overall, I think ishy described it well. Other examples have unhappy girls.

At the very least, this would have to be a TPE relationship, and you'd have to be comfortable abandoning the typical BDSM "rules," as you'd be seen as handing power to the sub.

You might take a look at the Gorean FAQs at the top of the forum--there's a link there to BDSM vs. Gor threads that may prove helpful toward giving you a better idea.

Live well,

Tim

< Message edited by Musicmystery -- 3/8/2010 8:13:01 AM >

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RE: Mixed relationships - 3/8/2010 8:08:43 PM

Cherylmazana

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And here we are back to BDSM once more.

If Gor is a philosophy then there is no problem with a Gorean man or woman living with a non Gorean man or woman, though most relationships rarely survive when their basic beliefs are radically different, I can’t imagine a Gorean man living with a radical feminist or Domme for example.

What you are really wondering is can the BDSM aspects of Gorean lifestyles work when one says they are Gorean and the other doesn’t, and that depends purely on the individuals involved.

Cheryl

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RE: Mixed relationships - 3/13/2010 3:37:00 PM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ishyB

I don't think, however, that Gorean s-types mix very well on general with D-types (either BDSM or self-proclaimed Goreans) who see a slave as anything but property.

A lot of BDSM relationships are founded on the idea that the relationship is still in essence a partnership, and that while protocol for both is different, both partners still have equal human right/value within the relationship that just manifests itself in a different fashion.

At its core, a Master/slave, Total Power Exchange (TPE) "BDSM" dynamic is exactly that... a slave is her Master's "property", and the two in no way have "equal human rights/value"; she's her Owner's property. Period. This is not exclusive to "Gor"... there are vastly different types of dynamics that fall under the BDSM umbrella.

< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 3/13/2010 3:40:57 PM >

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RE: Mixed relationships - 3/13/2010 4:14:31 PM

Elisabella

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: ishyB

I don't think, however, that Gorean s-types mix very well on general with D-types (either BDSM or self-proclaimed Goreans) who see a slave as anything but property.

A lot of BDSM relationships are founded on the idea that the relationship is still in essence a partnership, and that while protocol for both is different, both partners still have equal human right/value within the relationship that just manifests itself in a different fashion.

At its core, a Master/slave, Total Power Exchange (TPE) "BDSM" dynamic is exactly that... a slave is her Master's "property", and the two in no way have "equal human rights/value"; she's her Owner's property. Period. This is not exclusive to "Gor"... there are vastly different types of dynamics that fall under the BDSM umbrella.

Agreed there are property dynamics in BDSM but those are M/s relationships (master and slave) which I see as distinct from D/s relationships (dominant and submissive) in foundation.

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