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RE: no bra, no panties ! - 4/1/2010 3:43:47 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dragon200070

I'm with you. The first meeting should be much like a vanilla meeting. You just want to see if the chemistry and compatability are there. No action should be planned. You need to build up trust and respect.

We are in agreement so far...sort of. Action might be planned, but it certainly can be optional based on the outcome of that time together prior. I can build up trust and respect dressed most any way and under diverse circumstances. Those things do not distract me from my primary goal.

quote:

I suspect that demands for no panties and bras come from inexperienced Doms or predators. An experienced Dom will be concerned with compatability and trust. They will be taking their time in a new relationship. They will never move forward untill they sense or hear that you trust them.

Is that so? I will be sure to alert my very long time in wiitwd partner of his novice status and the fact that he is fake for suggesting such a thing. Oh, and a way back I discussed the difference between demands and commands. Demanding anything is a sign of some real insecurities. Having the ability to capably and coolly command even in the face of opposition and the wave of popular opinion is something else entirely. My partner would never give me a command unless he saw that I was ready for it, whether I agreed with the assessment or not. That changes nothing. We are all capable of more than we think if the conditions are right. Again, regardless of dynamics going on under the surface, I can still manage to separate that from the process of getting to know someone and building trust based upon their track record rather than any control they have over me. Not everyone is so weak minded as to not be able to put together coherent and logical thought processes just because they are commando under their clothing.

quote:

My friends tell me that there are many poseurs and fakes out there posing as Doms. This surely complicates the search for a partner.

There are and it does. Spouting off a million ways to spot what YOU perceive as a fake doesn't help matters at all.

lovingpet

< Message edited by lovingpet -- 4/1/2010 3:46:05 PM >

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(in reply to dragon200070)

RE: no bra, no panties ! - 4/6/2010 5:39:37 AM

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Here we go. Every "first" encounter I chose something that was obvious like an orange t-shirt or a certain way to have her put up her hair and we would meet publicly like in the local mall where sheriffs constantly patrol and cameras are everywhere. Then we would sit down to lunch or dinner and get a feel for each other. You cannot go full out no bra or panties because this meeting can be a complete upset. If you decide to meet someone on these terms then you should be 100% on your guard at all times because they may be planning to go farther than you are willing to on the first visit.

(in reply to lovingpet)

RE: no bra, no panties ! - 4/6/2010 8:04:22 AM

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Even really nice guys like naked women...and as you've generally been talking for several weeks or longer, often about fairly personal sexual stuff.....I don't think that sort of request is outrageous. You can always say no....

I don't think you can/should automatically write off anyone who gently suggests something slightly naughty/perverted on the first meet....we're all perverts, that's why we're here :)

(in reply to tbstewa)

RE: no bra, no panties ! - 4/6/2010 11:38:07 AM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tbstewa

Here we go. Every "first" encounter I chose something that was obvious like an orange t-shirt or a certain way to have her put up her hair and we would meet publicly like in the local mall where sheriffs constantly patrol and cameras are everywhere. Then we would sit down to lunch or dinner and get a feel for each other. You cannot go full out no bra or panties because this meeting can be a complete upset. If you decide to meet someone on these terms then you should be 100% on your guard at all times because they may be planning to go farther than you are willing to on the first visit.

Now how do you know she's not willing?

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(in reply to tbstewa)

RE: no bra, no panties ! - 4/6/2010 1:54:35 PM

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I'm all for no bra and panties-how boring!

I'd rather a girl show up in a full body leather harness-with a butt plug locked in.

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RE: no bra, no panties ! - 4/6/2010 9:15:31 PM

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Though I'm drastically late in reply to the original topic it seems from the 12 pages I see splayed out on the forum, I'd think that displays impatience more than anything. That in and of itself is bad. A certain impropriety sure, but under the right circumstances impropriety matters not.

Unless of course it was a method of weeding someone out (in case anyone missed my train of thought at the junction, weeding out those who would comply without knowing someone extremely well), in which case it's probably too risky, but entertaining and clever. Though there are vastly superior ways to do that, so it does show certain limitations of creativity.

In any case, I'd echo statements I'm sure exist somewhere in this thread, that I prefer a first meeting to be exactly that. A first meeting. Lots of conversation, and getting to know someone. Getting involved before knowing someone is foolish at best.

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RE: no bra, no panties ! - 4/7/2010 7:09:14 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: tbstewa

Here we go. Every "first" encounter I chose something that was obvious like an orange t-shirt or a certain way to have her put up her hair and we would meet publicly like in the local mall where sheriffs constantly patrol and cameras are everywhere. Then we would sit down to lunch or dinner and get a feel for each other. You cannot go full out no bra or panties because this meeting can be a complete upset. If you decide to meet someone on these terms then you should be 100% on your guard at all times because they may be planning to go farther than you are willing to on the first visit.

Now how do you know she's not willing?

bolded and enlarged what i said. I didn't state that it WOULD, I sated MAY. Last I checked the two did not mean the same thing... correct me if I am wrong.

(in reply to Kana)

RE: no bra, no panties ! - 4/7/2010 8:10:14 PM

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From: Long Island, NY
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I've never asked anyone to show up without undies. However, depending on how our meeting was going, I may tell them to remove their panties during the meeting. Or not. It depends on the chemistry.

(in reply to WyldHrt)

RE: no bra, no panties ! - 4/7/2010 11:26:13 PM

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Unwrapping any present is a huge part of the pleasure. Anyone so desperate to see your pussy may well have never seen one before in real life.
Come to think of it, if he/she is in that much of a hurry, will they really be any use to you? I've never heard of speed domination.

(in reply to swaybackgirl)

RE: no bra, no panties ! - 4/8/2010 6:00:46 AM

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Why can't it just be cool, or hot to have her arrive as you have instructed?

This shit can get so nit-picky it sometimes amazes me.

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RE: no bra, no panties ! - 4/8/2010 8:09:17 AM

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Ok, I'll jump in with my take on this - since it seems to differ from most I've read. Given that the Dom and myself had established a certain level of connection prior to this first meeting, I would not have a problem with such a request. I'd think it could add another layer of sexual tension to the meeting and could be quite hot.

(in reply to Jeffff)

RE: no bra, no panties ! - 4/8/2010 8:12:06 AM

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The biggest problem is having them not get cold feet, and show up in the first place. Though I have had relationships where I had the girl wound up so much from online and phone that she jumped me on the first date. That was fun.

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RE: no bra, no panties ! - 4/8/2010 12:16:32 PM

Aylee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Why can't it just be cool, or hot to have her arrive as you have instructed?

This shit can get so nit-picky it sometimes amazes me.

I think that it has to do with the particular instructions. If it was jeans and tennis shoes to be worn as the instruction, there would likely be less fuss. But undergarments suggest sexuality matters.

Besides. . . can you imagine no undies if it was her moon time? Ewwwwwww!

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RE: no bra, no panties ! - 4/8/2010 1:09:32 PM

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Did someone say driving with heels on is dangerous? Why would they say that?

Maybe they didn't say that...

Edited for type-o

< Message edited by subtee -- 4/8/2010 1:12:05 PM >

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RE: no bra, no panties ! - 4/8/2010 1:13:58 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

Besides. . . can you imagine no undies if it was her moon time? Ewwwwwww!

???????????? moon time?....:)

Tee?... someone did say that. I think maybe it is dangerous to drive in heels if you aren't wearing panties during your moon time.

The pedals could get slippery

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(in reply to Aylee)

RE: no bra, no panties ! - 4/8/2010 1:59:25 PM

Aylee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

Did someone say driving with heels on is dangerous? Why would they say that?

Maybe they didn't say that...

Edited for type-o

Yes I did make that comment. It was in regards to someone driving with 3 or 4 inch heels to a meet when they were unused to heels or driving in them. It is one of those things that takes some getting used to. It also takes time to learn how to walk elegantly in them and get in and out of the car in them while also wearing a skirt without flashing the general public. My point is that heels take practice. Add to this, why should someone have to run out and buy a pair just to meet for coffee.

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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to subtee)

RE: no bra, no panties ! - 4/8/2010 2:08:30 PM

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I've never understood the allure of heels to some.

I guess I just don't look at feet a lot....

(in reply to Aylee)

RE: no bra, no panties ! - 4/8/2010 2:10:26 PM

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I like heels, but I am a leg guy......

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RE: no bra, no panties ! - 4/8/2010 2:31:00 PM

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Xuir2cpNuQ

(in reply to Jeffff)

RE: no bra, no panties ! - 4/8/2010 5:42:56 PM

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Joined: 6/11/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

How about she arrives wearing panties and takes them off at the table and slips them to you?

The last time I tried to take off my panties without first removing my stilettos, I fell flat on my face and did so in a VERY unladylike manner.

(in reply to osf)

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