LadyPact
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I'll be quite happy to address this. I've done so before on the forums, but you may not have had the opportunity to read it.
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ORIGINAL: Scala
Hello everyone,
I hope that the OP does not mind me hijacking his thread, but I guess that looking at the some of the answers so far it’s unlikely to have any more responses. It’s not often that I post here; in fact this may even be the first time. I am more of the “lurker” type of guy. Even so, much of what I have read on these boards is really good. I often read the threads in “ask a Mistress” and sometimes the advice given has lead to me adjusting my own opinions, thoughts, and even behavior. Should the consensus here be that I should open a new thread for this then I will of course do that (being the obedient little subbie that I am.  )
I'm not sure how often you get the opportunity to read them, but I can promise this does get addressed quite often in the Mistress forum. I wouldn't discourage you in starting another thread on this particular subject by any means. We could actually use more of them.
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I would just like to express my first thoughts on reading this thread. When reading the opening question, it’s not surprising that the OP got some of the responses that he did. Even so, this is probably because he does know the direction and the dynamic that this board has. [Taken]. I feel that some of the dominant women here expect us submissive men to think and express ourselves like they do. Many of us try and sometimes succeed, but there are also many who, as we see here, unintentionally get it wrong.
Which is exactly why he got the reaction that he did from every Dominant female who responded on this thread. Just like in any other area of life, D/s aside, when someone behaves poorly, you correct it and make them aware that it isn't acceptable.
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It’s a known fact that we submissive men have less chance of finding a dominant partner than say a female subbie or a dominant woman, however much we try solely due to the ratio. So it’s no wonder that many turn to porn as an outlet and also many will, how can I say? , get excited when asking a question here.
The issue with that here is that many Dominant women don't wish to be the outlet for such 'excitement'. We're not here for the amusement of trolls or wankers. If someone has turned to porn for an outlet, the absolute best thing we can do for them is to show them that we are real human beings who aren't doing the real life equivalent of performing for him when he pushes play.
The porn industry has capitalized on the fantasies of males about all of this for a very long time. Yet, you'll find that it does specifically cater to males, and one of the greatest issues that Dominant women face is teaching submissive males the difference between that fantasy and the actual reality.
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(And “yourslave78” this is not personally intended) Many submissive men would dearly like to experience RL submission but where? How? Even, if they go to a professional Domme she will most likely enact that what the slave wants.
The very same way that any person of any gender who chooses to involve themselves in BDSM. In the real world and not through their DVD player or through fantasy porn. While not everyone is interested in public BDSM, there are always munches and events to meet people. There are plenty of people on this site who aren't interested in public BDSM, yet they have managed to find play partners and significant others.
If this wasn't a BDSM forum, and was simply a dating site, we wouldn't come back and ask where does someone possibly meet a potential partner. BDSM has been alive and well long before the net came along.
Also, this particular OP never mentioned a word about a desire for submission. It specifically addressed his desire for sexual gratification via a certain method. One doesn't automatically equate the other.
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I would like to use the last entry by Lady Pact as an example of how confusing it can sometimes get and this is only an example as there are many similar in nature.
Quote: When they answered you, the follow up questions that you asked weren't about 'well how was your clit manipulated' or other intimate details. Do you see the difference?
Then later quote : Would you, seriously, walk up to a group of women in real life that you didn't know and start asking them about what techniques they used in the bedroom?
So on the one hand it’s not ok to ask about the Bedroom but it is ok to ask 'well how was your clit manipulated'?
Actually, it's My position that neither are ok. When the follow up question was asked, there was no other way to interpret it as to asking Me what techniques I was using of a sexual nature. It implied what methods do I use that involve My boy's genitals, where as the follow ups to others were not.
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In my opinion there is a huge difference between a group of women in real life and a group of women in a Forum such as this. Of course both are entitled to courtesy. However, a group of real life women will not be holding up erotic type photos for all men to see. In this forum these are posted in the profiles here for all to see.
Quote: The Dominant women on these boards aren't here for your fantasy and fetish material.
Now, right now, I can see a good looking woman dressed in a black and purple leather outfit and also ones of her playing with her slave. Should I feel nothing? You all know that men are more visually stimulated than women, so why post these types of photos? Who are these photos for? You know they are going to have an effect on a submissive male. So I don’t understand why many get so upset when a guy expresses himself in a way that he would not normally do in real life. Do you see the difference?
I'd be remiss here if I didn't thank you for the compliment. I appreciate that.
With that said, I'm afraid that I have to correct you. Those photos aren't for other people to be allured. They are really nothing different than any non kinky person who might have put up their vacation pics on Facebook. All of them are from special occasions of one sort or another. Everything from the day I received My Cap, to a costume party, to locations that I've done demos. They are the BDSM comparison to someone who may have put up shots of themselves taken at the beach. Which, btw, I do have to mention that I am absolutely more clothed than most females that you are going to find there.
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Finally, even though the question could maybe have been better formulated, the essence of what was being asked was in line with the forum. I did not know that Post orgasm torture was so wide spread. My own Mistress was surprised at the effect it could have on a female slave. We, my Mistress and I, were interested in the question and the responses as Mistress had not thought of this before and it really appealed to her. Some the answers were therefore quite thought provoking but the thread got strangled because of the manner in which the question was asked, and that surely cannot be the focus of this forum?
While it's not the focus of this forum, that doesn't equate the forum being a free for all. A little social grace never harmed anyone. As you have demonstated yourself, a bit of tact is going to get a much better response. While we're not agreeing in most areas, it's still a civil discussion, which really is the purpose of these forums. I'm all for the exploration of BDSM, as I think My history here shows.
Like most subjects, this one has been discussed on the boards before. While you and your Mistress (My best to her, btw) are still interested in the subject, there may be some past threads that the two of you would enjoy reading. There is also the possibility of her coming to the Mistress board to ask folks about it or you might want to address it. Post orgasm torture basically boils down to what can be seen as an over stimulation of the genitals at the period where they are the most sensative after orgasm. It can be a heck of a lot of fun and there are many couples out there who enjoy it.
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I hope that I have not offended anyone ..and Lady Pact, it is not my intention to single you out in anyway and I really hope that it’s taken as intended.
Kind regards to everyone Scala
I wasn't offended by this exchange at all. I think you'll find that I have no issue answering questions in those situations where the person asking isn't attempting to objectify those who did not consent to be so.
_____________________________
The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT
Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD
Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.
Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
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RE: Curious about 'Post Orgasm Torture' - 
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