CarrieO
Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008 Status: offline
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It's been my experience, in the past when I've bottomed, that I like being held down, no problem. If I'm told not to touch or move my hands, no problem there either, As soon as a partner tries to use cuffs or rope to restrain my hands,though, I panic. I can also relate to the desire/need for contact while my movement is restricted in some way. I'm a very touchy feely sort of person and the withdrawl of physical contact causes me to feel I've failed in some way. Like DesFIP said, even having her man in the room, making noise or rattling toys around can be reassuring. That helps me sometimes but not always, depending on the reason for loss of contact. The "out of sorts" feeling and the breathing change you mentioned is something I've discussed with a good friend of mine, a male dom, and he laughed and told me it would be interesting to see if I felt the same panic were I 100% comfortable and trusting of my partner. Maybe he's right...it's the trust that would be necessary to explore those feels, though. Yeah, you're generally going to find someone who can relate to or has had similar experiences. I like this question, though, because it made me think about a side (bottom/submissive) I haven't explored in a while. *edited to add....OP, have a look at the Consensual/Non-consensual thread in the General BDSM section http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3192184 It actually touches on many of the things you've mentioned in so far as giving control goes. Interesting read. *
< Message edited by CarrieO -- 5/5/2010 5:30:37 AM >
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"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~
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