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Too attached to the dom/me? - 4/6/2006 5:04:12 PM   
SweetEscravo


Posts: 193
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline 		Is it possible to become too attached to one's Dom/me?  Recently, I've noticed that I spend the vast majority of my time with, talking to, or thinking about my Dom.  I still work, and go to school, but I have never really been much of a social butterfly, so I don't get to know many of the people I'm around all day.  Recently it seems that when I am with friends, they are people I was introduced to from my Dom and who are actually his friends...I just come along.  I would like to say that I could easily branch out and meet new people, but my peers in this town are mostly immature idiots.  I kind of feel like I am in a rut because its almost as if I have no life outside of my dominant.  Usually this is fine because he provides me with friendship and love, but sometimes I wonder if I should make some new friends.  Could I just be too attached to him?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Too attached to the dom/me? - 4/6/2006 5:43:20 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		You should have your own friends and interests apart from him.  That helps you be a complete person.  What are your interests and hobbies?  How about joining a library's book club?  Taking up a new hobby?  Taking a continuing ed class?  These are good ways to meet people as well as focus your time on some other activities.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to SweetEscravo)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Too attached to the dom/me? - 4/6/2006 6:22:18 PM   
fullofgrace


Posts: 395
Joined: 3/24/2006
From: fl, usa
Status: offline 		i agree with katy. find things you enjoy outside of the relationship...for example, i love art and playing piano and going to school, so i do all of this and due to my living situation i do it either while near my Dom but not with Him, or at my apartment/school while He is at His house, so He's only involved to the degree that He wishes me to talk about things. i would definitely agree with finding a book club or maybe a women's group or something - if you're religious, you might try seeking out a group of like-minded religious or spiritual people. there's nothing wrong with devotion, but you need other things in your life to be a whole person, i think.    

_____________________________

i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Too attached to the dom/me? - 4/6/2006 6:28:23 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It's extremely common in the new phases and is documented in a lot of "coming out stages" and becoming comfortable- having that part of your life become engrossing to the point of excluding everything else.

But you're aware of it now and can begin to bring things into balance again.  Don't find people to go and do stuff with- go and do stuff and you will find people.  What are your interests?  Can you go out running somewhere?  A book club?  Even crafts groups can be lots of fun.

Things take time to shift and they take time to shift back.


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SweetEscravo)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Too attached to the dom/me? - 4/6/2006 6:37:21 PM   
Cravings


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		I read your profile and it says you are engaged to your Dom. So, that being said I think it is pretty normal that most of your time and thoughts are focused around him for the time being.  I do agree with the previous posts though that you should aquire some new interests and hobbies of your own. 

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Too attached to the dom/me? - 4/7/2006 1:40:07 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		This is actually one of those things where you can have your cake and eat it, too! For example, taking a few cooking classes can enable you to prepare meals your Dom/me will enjoy and has the side benefit of getting you out of the house and around new people. Or perhaps your Dom/me enjoys going to the shooting range, so you can take some classes on guns etc and it becomes a hobby you both enjoy. Or you can pick a few things you both have in common already and then expand your knowledge on them through sources outside the relationship to form your own circle of friends and peers and have something to share with your Dom/me at the end of the day that he will also take an interest in. Be creative.. the sky's the limit. :)

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to SweetEscravo)
Profile   Post #: 6
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