|
CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: On your knees, bitch! (6/22/2010 10:28:45 PM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: BigDaddy723
Alright so in a slightly diffrent direction, and a 2 part question. It seems that there is a consensus that it works on naive and unfamilure subs. Why do you think that is? Is it that they are just that eger to prove that they are submissive, and if so, how would you educate them?
Neediness, sub frenzy, innocence. The overwhelming vulnerability at first. I wouldn't call it an eagerness to prove onesself a submissive, but more of a sense of belonging at last (instead of being insulted by being called kinky by vanillas [;)] ) and wanting to know the ropes. I kind of felt that unsure and excited and grateful the very first day on a job where I had to wear a uniform. I just can't explain it well. Also...it makes me wonder how a wild horse feels when the scent of cowboys is in the air and a branding iron being heated. All of this comes into it for some of us.
Well, I wouldn't tell a friend they are kinky, lead them here and drop them off in the chatrooms. I was taken somewhere on IRC and dropped off, and someone went after me that first day and scared me to death. I didn't want to be rude, but when I was backed into a corner I went POOF from the site and almost didn't stop running, lol. My friends caught me again and led me here, and said that if anyone scared me to go to them and they'd handle it.
I have a panic disorder and it takes me a little while to feel comfortable in a new situation, so please, nobody mock me for being honest about this. Some of us were born, raised, and carefully groomed to be doormats and it takes a long time to deprogram ourselves.
How would I educate them? I'll have to say this first. I'm not a net geek. Without being led into this site I never would have found it on my own. I avoided all porn, and that's what BDSM looked like to me, scary porn. I spent years only going to my hotmail and to ebay. Someone's Dom wanted his femsub to work out her own past *trying to find word for bad thing happened, and can't* ...so he told her to help new fem subs through mentoring. I was one of those girls, and I am grateful to her for her time and effort. Basically, she chose reading material on safeties and safe calls, etc., the difference between domination and abuse, and made us read and discuss things with her. There was nothing else, besides some caretaking/mommying when needed. Later, I did the same. It was very time consuming and exhausting. I feel I've mostly Paid It Forward enough.
Since many wander here by accident, or are dumped here by well meaning friends...it would be nice to have on the main page an option for newbies. A school of sorts, guided readings to answer the most common questions, guidance on the most common mistakes, training to use the search feature in the message boards with a few links to click on old archived subjects, safe calls, common sense, and something to help fem subs who are new and might have been trained by bad vanilla experiences...their value and how to stand up for themselves...like the talk a good father is supposed to give to his daughers about the lines boys will say and how to answer without feeling they have done anything wrong.
If anyone doesn't agree with anything I said...this is only my own opinion.
|
|
|
|
