RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom.

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom.

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom.

Page: << < prev 12 13 [14] 15 16 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. - 7/11/2010 10:50:13 AM

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr
Really... it doesn't become ALL about you until AFTER you've got that collar around her neck.

Wow, I'm doing something very, very wrong because it isn't all about me even after the collar. In all seriousness, this is one of the stupidest BDSM memes ever in my not at all humble opinion.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Ishtarr)

RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. - 7/11/2010 10:57:55 AM

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr

Prior to that, you are still courting a... WOMAN.
Not a slave, but a woman.

Ishtarr,

I disagree. He's courting a woman that he can engage with in an exchange. The latter will have some weight on the things he deems important. I do agree that the idea of relating shouldn't be lost either.

However...

quote:

You are still trying to convince HER that you are the right guy for her. That you're better than the next guy. That you're different than the next guy. That's YOU are going to make HER feel special.

No, he isn't doing that for yours truly. He's showing me what he brings to the table and I'm making a determination based on my wants, needs, and person if we're compatible. He needn't prove one iota. Either he has the goods or he doesn't. I don't want impressions and anything else that serves to show me who and what he is. I'm astute and capable of gleaning those things on my own without the theatrics thrown in.

quote:

If you can't do that, then sorry dude, she IS going to move on to the next guy who CAN make her feel special...

If I didn't have that before I encountered him I most certainly won't gain it afterward. That's inborn in my opinion.

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to Ishtarr)

RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. - 7/11/2010 10:58:01 AM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSepphora1

I'm just curious why certain subs tend to take whatever open forum they can find to chat about random crap. Do you need to find a question to chat about bunnies and piercings
every topic turns into a 10 page discussion about nothing.

We do this thing called having a conversation. When the topic isn't strong enough to maintain interest, it drifts to a new one.

Why is that certain people have failed to notice that it wasn't just subs doing the chatting?

quote:

so you just enjoy humiliating people and putting them down? or do you enjoy humiliating "DOM" types?
I am one of those people here looking for "THE ONE", but I'm not gonna go giving him shit because i feel threatened by him.

Nope, you just give others shit and ignore that Doms do a lot of side convo chatting as well.

I guess you are threatened by us, since that is the logic you are using.

quote:

so just to recap, subs on this thread are going out of their way to be insulting and humiliating to a dom type who asked a question? i mean, who ever said there were no stupid questions apparently never posted on cm, because i am sure they would have been educated otherwise.

Go back and read the OP. He didn't ask a question, he made a huge rant whose point was to tell random people what they are looking for. For that matter, really, why does it matter to you that he's a dom type? Does he get extra points? A bonus to charm cause he can swing a flogger?

quote:

and of course i am not a "dominate" although i know you were using he word to be smart and insulting. and of course you don't know what i feel is acceptable or not!!!!

But you magically know that we feel threatened by the OP and the male doms aren't really here to joke around, just to flirt with us.

Seriously people, if I'm going to be scolded by total strangers, it's gonna take a better argument on why I should bad.

Unless of course it comes from the Mods.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MissSepphora1)

RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. - 7/11/2010 11:07:57 AM

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

But you magically know that we feel threatened by the OP and the male doms aren't really here to joke around, just to flirt with us.

'Male Doms'? Are Aylee and I invisible or something?

I feel...so left out

teehee

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. - 7/11/2010 11:10:48 AM

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Stand aside, little lady, and watch how us male Doms flirt.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. - 7/11/2010 11:10:54 AM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Ummm... you don't count till you've beaten my ass?

Yeah... I think I like this idea. After all, I am about to be single again!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. - 7/11/2010 11:20:31 AM

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

Little lady? *Little lady*? Have a seat before your knees give out, old man, and watch how it's done.

[SexyVoice][LeanForwardToExposeCleavage]

Hey Aqua!

I don't count until I've beaten your arse?

Well how about I make you count strokes while I beat your arse-does that mean I count even more?

[/SexyVoice][/LeanForwardToExposeCleavage]

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. - 7/11/2010 11:24:30 AM

hlen5

Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline

".......Especially when subs are counting up and then told to count down and then get all mixed up and have to start all over....[/quote]Did I ever tell you about the time I made a girl recite her seven times table in the corner of a bar, while I messed around with her ear? It took her eleven tries to complete it.

".........
[/quote]

Hot, hot, hot!!

_____________________________

My fave Thread: http://www.collarchat.com/m_2626198/mpage_1/tm.htm

One time "Phallus Expert Extraordinaire"

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. - 7/11/2010 11:24:30 AM

Aylee

Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

For that matter, really, why does it matter to you that he's a dom type? Does he get extra points? A bonus to charm cause he can swing a flogger?

This is where I roll a d20, right?

_____________________________

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. - 7/11/2010 11:25:02 AM

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

I am weeping tears of happiness at reading this thread - you are all beautiful witty people ( except for the asshat op and ms grumpy thong) :-)

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. - 7/11/2010 11:27:43 AM

Posts: 1130
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr
Really... it doesn't become ALL about you until AFTER you've got that collar around her neck.

Wow, I'm doing something very, very wrong because it isn't all about me even after the collar. In all seriousness, this is one of the stupidest BDSM memes ever in my not at all humble opinion.

I'm not trying to suggest that it should become all about you after you collar a girl Jeff.
Honestly, I think you're right and it's not even possible for it to become all about just one person.

However, a lot of people looking for the "total TPE and absolute abject slavery" thing WANT it to become all about the D-type.
And we're talking from people on both sides of the kneel here that claim they want that.

It's fine if that's what they want to have, although I have my doubts on how realistic it is, but even if that's what you WANT for an end goal, it's still not something you're going to ever GET by starting off with making it all about you. If that's the case, for any of these "absolute slaves" any man would do.

~porcelaine~
I'm not saying he needs to make a girl feel special in the sense that he needs to give her self-esteem.
You're absolutely right, she should already have that, and if she doesn't, no man can give it to her.

I mean "make her feel special" in the sense that she needs to feel special to him.
She needs to feel wanted, desired, admired, sought after, valued, protected, and so on by him.

If he can make her feel like he wants her, like she's special to him, she will move on to the guy that can...

_____________________________

Du blutest für mein Seelenheil
Ein kleiner Schnitt und du wirst geil
Egal, erlaubt ist, was gefällt

Ich tu' dir weh.
Tut mir nicht Leid!
Das tut dir gut.
Hör wie es schreit!

(in reply to leadership527)

RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. - 7/11/2010 11:36:03 AM

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I guess some people might go for the OP's approach, but I don't see a lot of that happening in the world unless the guys got a truck without inside doornobs, and a nice pit in which to keep said slave. I do know at least one woman who thinks nothing of meeting a guy and hooking up for a BJ or a beating.. and then is shocked that one of them stalks her at a later date. Those real slave types are out there.. and thankfully they are FEW and far between. Sadly there are a lot more of the sadistic sort who are seeking them who end up posting whiny threads about "real"
And Ishtarr..? Are you sure you are as young as it says? You are one smart cookie.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr
it's still not something you're going to ever GET by starting off with making it all about you. If that's the case, for any of these "absolute slaves" any man would do.

(in reply to Ishtarr)

RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. - 7/11/2010 11:38:29 AM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Actually I'm going to disagree that another person can't give me self esteem. Because he has and does. I met The Man five years out of a bad marriage. I didn't date anybody else, I didn't believe anybody would want me. Because just as an abusive person can destroy your self esteem, a good person who makes a point of telling you your positive traits can improve your self esteem.

Most women in abusive relationships don't move on until they meet someone else who does tell them positive stuff and makes them feel good about themselves. Because you need that to feel that you don't deserve to be mistreated.

As far as the op goes, he's an idiot. The Man is my best friend, my lover, my partner and so on. He's a lot more than just a dom to me. And I'm a lot more than just a sub to him. The fact that the op is so limited he cannot imagine loving a submissive, having her as a friend, trusting her to have his back and so on says a lot about him, all very sad.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Ishtarr)

RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. - 7/11/2010 11:38:44 AM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Little lady? *Little lady*? Have a seat before your knees give out, old man, and watch how it's done.

[SexyVoice][LeanForwardToExposeCleavage]

Hey Aqua!

I don't count until I've beaten your arse?

Well how about I make you count strokes while I beat your arse-does that mean I count even more?

[/SexyVoice][/LeanForwardToExposeCleavage]

Oh yes....

I can start making a tally of domly points. You get enough for you can turn them in for DOM badge. It's like a police badge but instead of a star, it has a bruised ass.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. - 7/11/2010 11:40:02 AM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

For that matter, really, why does it matter to you that he's a dom type? Does he get extra points? A bonus to charm cause he can swing a flogger?

This is where I roll a d20, right?

You have encountered an Internet Troll. Do you roll to avoid or attack?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Aylee)

RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. - 7/11/2010 11:45:13 AM

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

While I loved this original when it was applied in the right context, it didn't especially fit for this situation. Due to this, I trimmed it down some.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr
Why would a girl want to be your slave? (In this case, bottom.)
What do you have to offer her?
What makes you different than every other male Dom (Sadist) looking for the same thing as you are?

Why YOU and not the next guy (Casual player)?

The red, of course, was added by Me.

The original, I believe, had everything to do with casual play, rather than a dynamic. There are some differences in this, but the same analogy can be applied.

If someone is a sadist looking for a play partner, you literally are up against everybody else who uses that term to describe yourself. Why does a bottom choose one top over another? Often, it's directly related to their topping skills. It could have something to do with them being familiar with various methods of play. Sometimes, it is because of the friendship angle. It can also be due to reputation.

I am agreeing with the premise. It isn't enough to make an account on some website, just say you're a sadist and expect people to flock to you. It doesn't work like that. Doing so only makes you another top in the sadist pool. Sitting back and saying, "I'm a sadist, why don't people want to play" isn't going to cut it.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Ishtarr)

RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. - 7/11/2010 11:46:06 AM

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr

I mean "make her feel special" in the sense that she needs to feel special to him. She needs to feel wanted, desired, admired, sought after, valued, protected, and so on by him.

If he can make her feel like he wants her, like she's special to him, she will move on to the guy that can...

Ishtarr,

Thank you for explaining your point of view. I consider care taking to be the responsibility of both parties involved. The perspective I took when reading your post was the initial stages of becoming acquainted. I believe a sincere expression of interest is a good starting point. The other attributes are things we grow into as time elapses.

I'll readily admit that my partners are giving men that take pride in being good to and good for me. But they exhibited those traits from the beginning. If that changed without good cause I'd definitely have issues. But I'm not a new fangled creation of slavery that's completely devoid of wants, desires, needs, etc. I am a woman that delights in pleasing her man. And that includes being his possession. But the latter didn't negate my humanity or want for fulfillment. I believe the two coalesce when experienced with the right person.

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to Ishtarr)

RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. - 7/11/2010 11:53:42 AM

Aylee

Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

For that matter, really, why does it matter to you that he's a dom type? Does he get extra points? A bonus to charm cause he can swing a flogger?

This is where I roll a d20, right?

You have encountered an Internet Troll. Do you roll to avoid or attack?

Attack! Ever since that gazabo incident I always attack!

_____________________________

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. - 7/11/2010 11:55:17 AM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

You do 10 damage. The Troll counters with his mighty club of "Nobody understands me!".

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Aylee)

RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom. - 7/11/2010 11:56:43 AM

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

ms grumpy thong

this made me giggle!

I suppose a 'grumpy thong' would be one who was a total pain in the arse...

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to crazyml)

Page: << < prev 12 13 [14] 15 16 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: You're looking a boyfriend, not a Dom.

Page: << < prev 12 13 [14] 15 16 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.204