SeekingTrinity
Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012 From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR Status: offline
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I honestly think people can sometimes make things way harder than it needs to be. The beauty of this form of expression is that you can really have what it is you want. Its just a matter of finding the right person for the task at hand. Labels have this way of sometimes painting everything with either black or white paint. For some, that is the way that they function best in the world they elect to build for themselves...and more power to 'em if that is what makes them truly happy. There is certainly nothing wrong with black and white at all. But for some, the line between black and white can be a bit blurred. Be who you want to be and try not to worry so much about properly labeling it. I guess I should give a bit of my own background to perhaps give you a better idea of the perspective I view things through. I identify as a dominant female. My primary partner identifies as a dominant male. To others, that is our roles and who we are. But with each other, we are able experience both a dominant or a submissive role. Its crazy, but its seriously and honestly true. It isnt as complicated as you might think, which Ill admit has been a total surprise to me. We rely on the use of a collar to be a physical indicator/reminder of who is who at the moment because we both respond very strongly to it. Its always been highly symbolic for each of us in our own dominance of others. Thats it, one simple little thing allows infinite possibilities with the very person you trust with both your body and your mind and who you know trusts you with his body and mind. Can it work for everyone? Probably not. But it can work sometimes...when you just let go of all of the labels and the stereotypes and the other extraneous crap. I cannot imagine doing this with anyone else, nor do I want to. I have gathered from him that he cannot do this with anyone else either. Its an "us" thing. For me, he is the only person who can get me to the mental place that I imagine submissives might dwell in. In many ways, I wonder sometimes if this doesnt somehow make me an even better dominant because I am able to look at the world through my submissive's eyes. I was one of those black or white D/s people. Didnt like dealing with switches, thought they were confused about who they were, blah, blah, blah. Even I was surprised at the effortlessness and ease with which alternating between roles with him can be. Am I a "true submissive"? Not by any stretch of the imagination. Is he a "true submissive"? Not on your life. But sometimes you just meet the right person and all of the pieces just happen to fall into place. My point in all of this is that there is no one standard by which any of us has to live our lives.
< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 11/8/2012 2:33:23 PM >
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