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RE: Can A Switch Be satisfied With A Dom? - 10/19/2010 5:21:19 AM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tewy01

I was once a slave to a Pro Domme for serveral years and then she moved to the west coast and I stayed behind. For the last couple years before she left, I was graduated to the title of Dom and was taught the art of domination by her and her other domme friends but still submitting to them for teaching me. I still do have sub tendencies but know most female subs want a total Dom to serve and a male switch presents problems.My question to you is this..Would having a relationship with a dom and a switch present issues/problem in the relationship? Or should I consider listing myself as a switch and seek a domme or switch?


I think what gets confusing, at least for me, is all the labels and roles being tossed around in this post...slave, dom, sub, switch.

I have no problem with having a relationship with a dominant man who has a desire to bottom (yeah, another label )...that's just an act of recieving and not submitting, imo. In fact, given that I've decided to throw my hat back in the ring in regards to relationships and such, this type of scenario pretty much sums up what I'm looking for.

That being said, I would have a hard time understanding a man who has served as a slave in the past and yet now views himself as a dom. I see a slave as being cut from a slightly different cloth than a submissive person...a bit more deeper in their need to cede control, if you will.

I would suggest you ask yourself what each of these terms...slave/submissive/dominant/switch...mean to you and then accept yourself for who you are...an individual.


(in reply to tewy01)
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RE: Can A Switch Be satisfied With A Dom? - 8/26/2012 5:24:53 AM   
DeathProof


Posts: 15
Joined: 8/19/2012
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I'm a switch and I used to play with a Domme, but I ended up feeling unfulfilled because I like to sub and Dom with the same play partner...

In your situation, I'd just list myself as what I am. Would you be completley happy being a Dom to someone, and never subbing with them?

(in reply to tewy01)
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RE: Can A Switch Be satisfied With A Dom? - 8/26/2012 3:47:45 PM   
Yleia


Posts: 8
Joined: 8/26/2012
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I'm a switch. My partner is a switch. However I tend towards the sub side and she to the domme. That means that sometimes our needs don't always mesh up, so we have play partners outside of our relationship which helps satisfy that need.

(in reply to DeathProof)
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RE: Can A Switch Be satisfied With A Dom? - 9/7/2012 4:46:24 PM   
r1a2y3m4o5n6d7


Posts: 196
Joined: 1/15/2012
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I do both roles. I have no problem with it. I think that bones from ash has it down. If your into labels then stay one or the other. There are to many narrow minded people on here.

Do your own thing and dont worry what other people think.

(in reply to Yleia)
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RE: Can A Switch Be satisfied With A Dom? - 9/16/2012 6:21:43 PM   
Alltiedup57


Posts: 27
Joined: 7/29/2012
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I am a switch , an though I can surrender completely , I miss getting to Dom over the other.
So no, unless the Dom/Domme is understanding to your needs , an willing to let you Top.


(in reply to r1a2y3m4o5n6d7)
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RE: Can A Switch Be satisfied With A Dom? - 9/16/2012 10:59:52 PM   
Alltiedup57


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What happened to my comment? As it appears not to be there an was not offensive in any way.

(in reply to tewy01)
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RE: Can A Switch Be satisfied With A Dom? - 10/25/2012 8:31:44 PM   
MswitchforFswitc


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/25/2012
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Can a male Switch mostly domaninant find a female switch who is a slave at heart but like to role play a femdomme?

(in reply to tewy01)
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RE: Can A Switch Be satisfied With A Dom? - 10/26/2012 5:56:52 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MswitchforFswitc

Can a male Switch mostly domaninant find a female switch who is a slave at heart but like to role play a femdomme?

Yes the same way you can find a male switch that's mostly fem dom & a female that prefers identification as a boi.
This lifestyle is all about sprinkles, its finding complimentary sprinkles that work for you.

In answer to OP for 3 years was satisfied & complete with a dom. Sidenote is was at my job boss to 50 men so getting domly energy of "because I said so" out was possible. That head bitch in charge energy is what made me most compatible with my mate. Before us he went through 12 very sub assistants who all ran out in tears from his energy. It wasn't until I helped him choose an assistant "with more balls" that he could keep someone around long enough to get work done.

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to MswitchforFswitc)
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RE: Can A Switch Be satisfied With A Dom? - 11/5/2012 3:06:06 AM   
AstralDreams


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/10/2012
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I would have thought that it would only add to the relationship, after all having a submissive switch gives the top more psychology to play with.

(in reply to tewy01)
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RE: Can A Switch Be satisfied With A Dom? - 11/5/2012 3:45:37 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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I have to agree, based on comments on this forum, the majority of sub women want a domly dom who would never even consider switching or subbing to another. Now, that's based on mere anecdotal evidence here, but I believe it to be fairly accurate.

However, you know, you aren't that. So why on earth you would even attempt to portray yourself as that I have no idea. You want to pull a bait and switch in the hopes you have better odds of finding your unicorn? What if you find her, and it turns out she can't take you subbing and you lose her? How is that going to make you feel?

I always let people know straight up I'm a switch. My personality is such that I experience both sides of the kneel, and that's it. Accept this about me, or I have no interest in you.

It's certainly been an issue for me in the past. How many male doms do you think want to take on a fem sub who has her own male sub? Not that many.

And many male subs also have that "a switch can't be a real dom" bias.

These biases are based in ignorance and the only thing to do about it is to be proud of who and what you are, and attempt to educate, one person at a time. This is what I *try* and do.



_____________________________



(in reply to tewy01)
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RE: Can A Switch Be satisfied With A Dom? - 11/5/2012 4:16:06 AM   
Toysinbabeland


Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline
I could never submit to a switch.


_____________________________

*Smitten fox* that's all you need.

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RE: Can A Switch Be satisfied With A Dom? - 11/5/2012 7:04:26 AM   
ServiceBoy89


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toysinbabeland

I could never submit to a switch.



never say never...

(in reply to Toysinbabeland)
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RE: Can A Switch Be satisfied With A Dom? - 11/5/2012 10:40:16 PM   
saundrakitty


Posts: 148
Joined: 9/11/2012
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Trust me until you're in that position and find that that person is the right one- you just might change you're mind. I am a switch and proud of it and yes i have had minor issues with a dominaye but we talked through it and was happy serving Him and having my sub as well.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Toysinbabeland

I could never submit to a switch.



(in reply to Toysinbabeland)
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RE: Can A Switch Be satisfied With A Dom? - 11/8/2012 2:30:45 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
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I honestly think people can sometimes make things way harder than it needs to be. The beauty of this form of expression is that you can really have what it is you want. Its just a matter of finding the right person for the task at hand. Labels have this way of sometimes painting everything with either black or white paint. For some, that is the way that they function best in the world they elect to build for themselves...and more power to 'em if that is what makes them truly happy. There is certainly nothing wrong with black and white at all. But for some, the line between black and white can be a bit blurred. Be who you want to be and try not to worry so much about properly labeling it.

I guess I should give a bit of my own background to perhaps give you a better idea of the perspective I view things through. I identify as a dominant female. My primary partner identifies as a dominant male. To others, that is our roles and who we are. But with each other, we are able experience both a dominant or a submissive role. Its crazy, but its seriously and honestly true. It isnt as complicated as you might think, which Ill admit has been a total surprise to me. We rely on the use of a collar to be a physical indicator/reminder of who is who at the moment because we both respond very strongly to it. Its always been highly symbolic for each of us in our own dominance of others. Thats it, one simple little thing allows infinite possibilities with the very person you trust with both your body and your mind and who you know trusts you with his body and mind. Can it work for everyone? Probably not. But it can work sometimes...when you just let go of all of the labels and the stereotypes and the other extraneous crap. I cannot imagine doing this with anyone else, nor do I want to. I have gathered from him that he cannot do this with anyone else either. Its an "us" thing. For me, he is the only person who can get me to the mental place that I imagine submissives might dwell in. In many ways, I wonder sometimes if this doesnt somehow make me an even better dominant because I am able to look at the world through my submissive's eyes.

I was one of those black or white D/s people. Didnt like dealing with switches, thought they were confused about who they were, blah, blah, blah. Even I was surprised at the effortlessness and ease with which alternating between roles with him can be. Am I a "true submissive"? Not by any stretch of the imagination. Is he a "true submissive"? Not on your life. But sometimes you just meet the right person and all of the pieces just happen to fall into place. My point in all of this is that there is no one standard by which any of us has to live our lives.

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 11/8/2012 2:33:23 PM >

(in reply to tewy01)
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RE: Can A Switch Be satisfied With A Dom? - 5/29/2015 3:26:13 PM   
DoomKitteh


Posts: 8
Joined: 4/14/2015
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I cannot just submit. I cannot just dominate. I need both.

(in reply to tewy01)
Profile   Post #: 35
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