LadyNTrainer
Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
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ORIGINAL: DMFParadox
Ok, I'm going to put this as nicely as possible.
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ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer
impatient do-me-now "subs" who had no business bothering a lifestyle domme who was seeking a serious relationship
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ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer
call me out of the blue and ask if I want to play, and if my dance card isn't already full, I'm good to go because it's fun
There. I said it. Believe me when I also say I understand, sort of, what you were trying to say, but remember this before you call me out on imprecise language.
The context you're missing here is prior consent. In the first case, I am discussing strangers who send crude, sexually explicit offers to ladies whose profiles explicitly state that they are seeking only friends or only serious LTR's with local people who meet certain criteria. These profiles may also state that they specifically do not want sexually explicit offers from strangers - after awhile here, most do clearly set this limit up front, though it does nothing to stop them. What actually happens is that every limit they have stated is disrespected and ignored, and the communication is less of a communication and more of a random drive-by shooting that has no relevance to them personally, yet is aggressively directed at them.
In the second instance, I am discussing my personal friends and casual play partners with whom I have already established a mutually positive social relationship. I make it clear that none of them have ever socially ignored someone while sexually pursuing them. They are the cool guys, guys who listen to what women say and open two way dialogue rather than hooting and catcalling at random, or making explicit sexual requests to strangers who have specifically asked not to receive them. They treat dommes like real human beings and potential friends, they listen to and respect what we actually have to say, and they get the same courtesy and consideration right back.
How do you get on the "cool guys" list? Simple - treat us like real people. Talk to us like real people. Have a two way conversation. Start by actually listening. Don't attempt to begin any social acquaintance by closing your ears and pulling out your dick; that never ends well. It sounds easy, but literally 95% of men who emailed me on my test social profile, as counted by PeonForHer as part of an experiment, did none of these things. Without fail, the respondents in this percentile listened to nothing I had to say, and fired off random shots at me, mostly unsophisticated sexual proposals, as opposed to being willing to participate in a two-way human communication.
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It looks like we've got full blessing from the mods for me to continue here. Though I still think it would be better for you to state your position in a new thread, to which I respond - if for no other reason, than for it to be easier to find in the future, though there are plenty of other reasons - you seem to want to keep it here. Sure. I'm down.
I tend to have rather distinct opinions and preferences when it comes to data filing issues, but I do agree with the mods that this thread has had many, many tangents. The specific discussion which I replied to and which you dropped cold without replying was relevant in an academic sense to gender economics, but the issue's been legitimately raised that this thread has had a lot of relevant but not quite dead-on focused stuff dropped into it. Mostly I'm curious as to whether you are able to actually reply to what I said back there, after you skipped the tracks and avoided answering those points. If you like, and as the mods have suggested it as being at least a good idea, I can repost my reply to you in another thread.
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Which is, how deeply do these gender-related sexual behaviors affect the psyche, creating situations where behavior is no longer dictated by the conscious will?
Ahh, the old nature vs. nurture argument. These aren't terribly dissimilar to the Twinkie Defense, IMO. Even with a cross-cultural comparison, it can be fairly difficult to separate the determining factors. But the most important determining factor for the individual is not statistics, or even in most cases their biology. It's choice.
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For every woman that kills herself, 4 men do. Think about that for a second.
For every woman that kills for any reason including self defense, 13 men are killers. Physical violence is a more commonly applied male strategy, whether directed against self or others.
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So the next question that stems from this is: when do women feel attraction; and what are the effects on them when they do? Do they, too, lose memory function at some point? How does this affect the outcome of their encounters? Or are they, as the advocates of femdom would have you believe, in control of their faculties at every step?
Oxytocin and subsequent hormonal cascades are less likely to have effects on memory than on judgment, perception and inhibition. Evolution makes monkeys of us all; neither gender has immunity. And both genders still have behavioral choices.
Biology is not an excuse for poor social skills. Homo sapiens is essentially a naked plains ape living in a human zoo, surprisingly ill suited in many ways to cope with modern conditions of artificial food abundance, social overcrowding, information overload and an economy dictated by technology divorced from the natural environment. Yet cope we must. Adapt or die is evolution's harsh mantra, regardless of what gentler and more forgiving world we may yearn for.
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Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.
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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 
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