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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 7:41:08 PM

RapierFugue

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

RapierFugue, maybe you can start your own thread in Off Topics instead of hijacking this one, which is about a completely different topic. Your question is worth discussion, but when someone comes to a thread expecting to read something about the Subject line and about 2 pages out of 4 are about something else entirely, it gets frustrating.

You're absolutely right - my sincere apologies. I was merely curious, but yes you're quite right. Yellow card for me.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 7:57:12 PM

Twoshoes

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(My last post was a bit of a joke.)

I'd like to say that I probably look 3-4 years younger than I actually am, yet I've never had a problem getting through to people way older than me or asking them for input. The trick is in making them feel valued. which is not hard if you actually recognize the value. (Hey, I still call my grandma and ask her questions about life. She's incredibly good at understanding things.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
*adores teh CUTENESS*
ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
This cute joke is ageism gone wild

As someone who has been called 'cute' approximately 10^4 times, I would agree that it's not the most desirable quality to have in an adult. Through self-acceptance, you end up appreciating it (as you realize you can smile your way out of a bottomless pit

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 7:59:01 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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I'll agree with you that it would be boring if everyone thought the same. We do feel differently about it. See, I think it's easy to say "a friend does this and a friend does that". It's a hell of a lot harder when it's your life.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue
All of which is fine, except ...

a) Military personnel are not the only ones whose jobs separate them from their families. Try being a copper’s wife, for example ... often not the easiest of lives either. I know an engineer who builds power stations for developing countries – he’s away from his family a lot.

I had a friend years ago (an engineer) who did the same thing. However, each time he went, he had a choice in the matter.

quote:

b) Just because it’s “not a picnic” doesn’t mean it warrants additional gratitude from anyone. Plenty of jobs aren’t a picnic.

True. Though I still think that the other people that benefit from that job being done is worth thanking people for. That bit about "if you love your freedom, thank a veteran" is more than just a catchy slogan.

quote:

c) Many other professions also miss out on the “luxury” of being with their families at the end of a day’s work too, as well as not sleeping under their own roof.

Most of them don't happen for a year at a time. I can promise you that it takes it's toll.

quote:

There’s nothing especially special or unique about being in the military that warrants any additional praise merely for joining up, unless and until the individual does something extraordinary, at which point, as I pointed out in another post, the brass break out the medal cabinet, and fair enough too.

We disagree here, too. I can tell you from My personal perspective that what they do, I couldn't do. Most people couldn't even hack Basic Training, much less everything that comes after it. They are doing what they do because to them, it means they are doing it to protect others and their way of life. I can promise you that I'm not that selfless.

Back to the actual topic......

One thing that hasn't been addressed is the issue that the age group that is the focus of the thread doesn't always have the same opportunities. Many BDSM groups have varying age limits. There are a lot of groups, events, and organizations out there that are still 21 and up. So what do we tell the eighteen, nineteen, and twenty year olds who live in places that don't have access to them? That they are just shit out of luck? That they may have the desire to learn about all of this, but they can't get in the door so nobody will teach them? Maybe that's exactly why there are so many of that age group that are coming here. Not everybody has the access that being above twenty-one grants. Seems to Me that works about as well as telling people they aren't old enough yet to have sex.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 10/18/2010 8:00:00 PM >

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Post #: 83

RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 8:12:58 PM

WolfyMontgomery

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
so, if there is any downside to the abundance of younger folks entering the lifestyle, it would be that...a whole lot more kink, and a whole lot less everyday living and being.

I wouldn't say that necessarily. Most of the young people (including me, har har) I've met who are interested in the lifestyle are just that - interested in the lifestyle. Heck, in the two years that I've been submissive and then slave to Master, we've focused almost entirely on the relationship between the two of us and how we live - he still doesn't like using some toys or bondage rope unless we're in public dungeons, because he wants an overseer there to make sure he's doing it right, because he's used them so little in kinky play that he's uncomfortable trusting himself with those implements yet.

In fact, in most play parties Master and I have been to that are purely about the kink, we always feel awkward because we're always the youngest ones there lol!

To the OP:

Hmm... I guess since I'm 21 I can't possibly know what I really want. I suppose I should just drop my slave act and make Master (oh, who's also wrong too, since he's only 24) be my vanilla boyfriend until I'm thirty... Har har har.

Okay... sarcasm aside, it doesn't take a specific age to decide whether or not someone really knows what they want or not. All it takes is a sense of self, a bit of maturity, a willingness to learn and KEEP learning, and enough common sense to know that even though things change you know what makes you feel good and are honest with your feelings. I have seen people much younger than me show more maturity and a sense of self than my own father, who's 55.

Granted, there are plenty of "Master" boys out there that I have no choice but to laugh at because they expect respect just because they had that title, but there are plenty of "Master" men out there who do the same thing. In fact, I've always thought that the older ones (not all older ones, just the ones that apply to this example of name-pastey "I'm this kiss my feet" types) are much worse and more annoying, because they try to use the "I'm older than you so what I say goes" card without giving a good reason beyond that for why I should listen to them.

My 24 year old Master is called Master because I felt he deserved the title. We worked together and learned about each other and built up our relationship over the course of two years, went from experimenting to living as Dom and sub to living as Master and slave. We learned with each other and learned what we were comfortable with and what made us happy, and as each step gave us more joy, we went deeper and deeper into our M/s relationship. So yeah, I don't think I'm wrong for calling him Master, and I don't think I'm wrong for calling myself a slave, because I've grown into it and live it.

Pulling the "age" card has always only succeeded in killing any and all respect for you almost instantly, because age does not denote maturity or wisdom. It suggests, but if they can't show that they are mature or wise (like the only reason why I'm apparently wrong is not backed up by any proof but just because they're "older and know better") then I won't think of them as such.

There are many older people though that Master and I totally respect because they HAVE shown us that they are mature and wise and have so much to teach us. And I have never heard ANY of them pull the "age" card to win an argument, not once (okay... once, but that was because he was trying to get an 11 year old to see common sense, who refused to see said common sense lol). They give people the facts that they know, they share their experience for why they think a person is wrong, they share the knowledge they know. It's these people that I look up to, respect, and learn from the most, because they just have that much more to teach.

It also tends to be those sorts of people that are the most supportive of young people in the lifestyle, I've found. Maybe because it means that many more people TO teach and share their experiences with. (And you all know who you are, those of you that are on collarme and are reading this post) ;)

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 8:19:07 PM

jujubeeMB

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes
As someone who has been called 'cute' approximately 10^4 times, I would agree that it's not the most desirable quality to have in an adult. Through self-acceptance, you end up appreciating it (as you realize you can smile your way out of a bottomless pit ).

Hey twoshoes, you're cute. Cute, cute, cute, cute, cute, cute, cute. There, I increased the amount of times you've been called cute.

There doesn't seem to be any smiley for evil laughter...

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 8:20:00 PM

SorceressJ

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I am apparently young-looking enough that at a place of business, I was mistaken for my adult son's girlfriend, once. I am also able to look in my own mirror and wonder at the face of.. a grandmother?! But I digress..
I've always thought it odd, how persons having reached their legal majority are considered mature enough to do important things, like be allowed to vote for political leadership, and ordered to fly overseas, shoot at people they've never met before, and possibly lose their own lives in the terrible process; yet for three more years (presuming the person we are talking about is just 18), they cannot have a drink, are mostly considered too immature to be spoken to about BDSM with any degree of seriousness, or be allowed into most BDSM clubs and so forth.
Personally, I think that's kind of bass-ackwards, as my mother would have said..

Then just this week, on another thread, there was the 18-yr-old "Dom" who wanted to argue with me about who knew more about human nature. He claimed knew "everything there was to know about people" and so knew more than me.
At 18. I am 43 and a half; all of my birth children are older than him.
Yeah right. Not a *WIN*, tiger; sorry.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 8:23:59 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
so, if there is any downside to the abundance of younger folks entering the lifestyle, it would be that...a whole lot more kink, and a whole lot less everyday living and being.

How? It's not like the whipper-snappers are coming into the homes of people who create 24/7 dynamics and keeping them from it.

For some kids it's naughty fun. For some adults it's naughty fun - there are plenty of 40+ folks who just want to fool around with whips and chains. The difference is that most of them (IME) are too embaressed to admit it or never come onto these boards because they *tend* to be less internet savy and won't seek out a message board regarding something that is just fun for them. Whereas us youngsters love our forums for everything in our lives.

That said... I have to agree with an above poster. I don't meet a lot of 18-30 year olds who are just here for kicks. The vast majority of the TNGers I know are in it for the lifestyle. The ones who come to the local 21+ parties are in it for the lifestyle. The only ones I've ever met who were surprised about it being a lifestyle and every day living were at parties that weren't exclusively BDSM/lifestyle/whatever term you like parties.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 10/18/2010 8:26:12 PM >

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 8:29:32 PM

Kreevillicious

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SorceressJ
Then just this week, on another thread, there was the 18-yr-old "Dom" who wanted to argue with me about who knew more about human nature. He claimed knew "everything there was to know about people" and so knew more than me.

I would call that arrogance, which sadly is in abundant supply regardless of age.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 8:33:54 PM

SorceressJ

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Kree is quite right, and wolfy? Age is just a number, luv, but of course you already know this..

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 8:36:16 PM

WolfyMontgomery

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SorceressJ

Kree is quite right, and wolfy? Age is just a number, luv, but of course you already know this..

Exactly. That's why I lose respect for people who try to use that number as their argument, rather than using their knowledge. =)

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 9:00:48 PM

daddysprop247

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

How? It's not like the whipper-snappers are coming into the homes of people who create 24/7 dynamics and keeping them from it.

i was referring to new people entering the lifestyle...more newbies curious about and interested in kink than newbies looking to find and accept themselves. and btw, that is certainly not something limited to age...but i have noticed that the trend is even more prevalent with the under 30 crowd.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

That said... I have to agree with an above poster. I don't meet a lot of 18-30 year olds who are just here for kicks. The vast majority of the TNGers I know are in it for the lifestyle. The ones who come to the local 21+ parties are in it for the lifestyle. The only ones I've ever met who were surprised about it being a lifestyle and every day living were at parties that weren't exclusively BDSM/lifestyle/whatever term you like parties.

well we have just been exposed to entirely different crowds, on and offline. it's one of the many reasons why i have no desire to socialize in the public "lifestyle" scene...i just can't relate to the kinksters, and in most places they are the ones who run the show.

and btw, i am still under 30 myself...though sometimes talking about my way of life here sometimes makes me feel like an old lady, lol.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 9:33:33 PM

AquaticSub

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I still don't understand how there is a whole lot more kink and lot LESS of everyday. I can see how there is more kink as young people, on average, aren't settled down into any sort of everyday living yet. But how are there fewer people doing the everyday living? It's not like the younger crowd are forcing the older ones out - if anything, we are still struggling to be accepted in the groups as many (most around here save TNG) are at least 21+.

It's not as if the older people are lacking in safe havens from the kinky youngsters.

I completely disagree with you that it's kinksters running the show. Around here, it's lifestyle people. And in the DC groups I've attended, it's lifestyle people. People whose lifestyles are different than yours but still lifestyle.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 10/18/2010 9:38:33 PM >

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 9:45:02 PM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SorceressJ

Age is just a number

In my case, a rather high number....

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 9:48:05 PM

SorceressJ

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Steven, you're silly. Moreover, you're probably not even the oldest person here.
(I swear, SOME guys you just have to sit on their faces to hush them.. just sayin')

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 9:51:20 PM

Twoshoes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
In my case, a rather high number....

Oh, is it a prime, is it a prime, is it a high prime?

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 9:53:33 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SorceressJ

Steven, you're silly. Moreover, you're probably not even the oldest person here.
(I swear, SOME guys you just have to sit on their faces to hush them.. just sayin')

When I do that I drown them. So then they do shut up.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/19/2010 2:17:19 AM

inkSecret

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMartinIndy

Have you really been alive long enough to know this is what you want.

MY GOD HES RIGHT! I HAVENT LIVED LONG ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT I WANT A BDSM RELATIONSHIP!

Gotta wait till I'm fifty.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/19/2010 2:21:38 AM

Twoshoes

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Damn, capital letters are the pinnacle of immaturity. WELL PLAYED, SIR.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/19/2010 2:27:20 AM

Focus50

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Well that was all too predictable....

Thank you all for once again reinforcing the feel-good myth that there are no generational differences; that age has nothing to do with wisdom or maturity and because of that "fact", all you middle-aged subs wouldn't have any problems serving an 18yo Master.

Oh yeah, and that someone ALWAYS knows some 50yo more immature than most teens, thus debunking a greater truth (apparently).

But speaking of middle-aged, hands up everyone who gets happy and excited at the prospect of a teenage party in your quiet suburban street?

Yeah, LOTS of shameless generalisations - I agree. But what about some underlying truth within them - NONE of *you* agree?

Focus.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/19/2010 4:47:24 AM

RapierFugue

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