long distance (Full Version)

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palemoon -> long distance (3/25/2004 7:29:10 AM)

i'm wondering.....can a long distance relationship ever work? it's not a real long distance, not across the country, but about 150 miles away.....thank you



dsduck -> RE: long distance (3/25/2004 7:52:34 AM)

]i would be pleased to see a picure and bio. i will not dom anyone without these rudimentory qualifications



topcat -> RE: long distance (3/25/2004 10:09:57 AM)

Dear Palemoon-

I once had a wonderful relationship with a woman who lived about 150 miles away. For us, it was an ideal distance- We'd see eachother most every weekend, and sometimes during the week. We both needed some time and distance to make it work, I think.

I'd take 150 miles over having a realationship with someone that lived too close- I've done that too, and it was never a good start to the romance.

Of course, YMMV.

Stay warm,
Lawrence



topcat -> RE: long distance (3/25/2004 10:10:48 AM)

M.Duck-


Huh?


yours,
Lawrence



sub4hire -> RE: long distance (3/25/2004 11:30:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: palemoon

i'm wondering.....can a long distance relationship ever work? it's not a real long distance, not across the country, but about 150 miles away.....thank you


Before I met my currentDominant I was negotiating with Dominants around the world. I figured if we fell in love...it was meant to be. We would make it happen somehow.
I live in So Cal. Met a Dominant in Vancouver Canada. His job brought him to my area once a month. It worked for us. We had the phone..internet and in person to help us along.
Once...he was'nt here on a monthly basis he told me to seek another. Feeling the relationship could'nt take the strain of not knowing when we could see one another again.

So, give the right set of circumstances. Having the right frame of mind for both people I do believe it can work. It just depends on what both parties need in their lives.



knees2you -> RE: long distance (3/25/2004 11:44:37 AM)

[:)] it can work, but eventually you will or would
have to meet. been there before.
advice~ if they see You on-line once a month move on once every 2 weeks, maybe once a week good. everyday, Great it's A keepper~~~~~~~~

quote~if a sanke bites before it is charmed there is no profit for the charmer~


kness2You[:)]



palemoon -> RE: long distance (3/25/2004 2:37:49 PM)

thank you for your advice....also your reply to mr duck. i was confused.......



palemoon -> RE: long distance (3/25/2004 2:40:20 PM)

thank you. we've been seeing each other off and on, and of course on the phone and on line for over a year, but suddenly, it just seems so....hopeless. Maybe it's just me.....maybe i should just suck it up and go on as always and see if it stays or passes??? i'm just soooo confused!

beth



Estring -> RE: long distance (3/25/2004 2:51:59 PM)

beth, it's obvious that you want more from the relationship. I would suggest you talk with your partner and express your feelings. If he is happy with the way it is, you've got some decisions to make.



topcat -> RE: long distance (3/25/2004 3:03:11 PM)

quote:

....also your reply to mr duck. i was confused.......


You're quite welcome. I'm still confused


stay warm,
Lawrence



palemoon -> RE: long distance (3/27/2004 12:57:44 PM)

thank you Sir. it's true that lately i've been feeling...well, neglected, i guess. One thing that He has asked me to do is to try and find out how others have handled the distance. i think my answer to that is, better than i do. i so appreciate all the time everyone has taken to respond to me. maybe it is just time to move on.....and that makes me very sad.



liljoy -> RE: long distance (3/31/2004 1:41:49 PM)

When Master and i first got together we lived 4 hours apart. Everyother weekend we took turns making the drive. Inbetween visits we spoke every day sometimes for hours on end. At the end of 6 months He came up and moved me down to Him. That was a little over a year and a half ago. So yes long distance relationships can work if you work at them and both have a common goal in mind



ZenMaster -> RE: long distance (4/1/2004 6:35:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: palemoon

i'm wondering.....can a long distance relationship ever work? it's not a real long distance, not across the country, but about 150 miles away.....thank you


That's a tough one but I don't truly believe distance has a thing to do with two people once they're well on their way to developing a relationship with one another. I'll give you a personal example in a nutshell:

I met my former submissive/wife 10 years ago online. No, it wasn't chat but close enough. It was a bulletin board like this one and we became closer and closer as time went on. She lived 1500 miles away and eventually we were together and after 3 years were married. Our relationship was always of a D/s nature but unfortunately there were issues and eventually we parted ways in 2001.

Did distance have anything to do with our relationship? I don't think it did. What brought the demise of our relationship had nothing to do with distance but had a lot to do with trust and other issues which can greatly affect a relationship in a negative way.

I believe you can love someone across the street as well as across the world. However, the trust test of love comes in honoring that person and the relationship by not doing stupid shit. :-)

I wish you all the best.

ZM



Mistress Mary -> RE: long distance (4/3/2004 1:58:31 PM)

quote:

i'm wondering.....can a long distance relationship ever work? it's not a real long distance, not across the country, but about 150 miles away.....thank you


Since the new age of pc's..The net has given us many opportunities to converse with people from other lands etc. And sites like this one.Help people bring the BDSM community closer together. I have such a hard time with distance,I live in a small town and not much of a BDSM following.The sites I have advertised on looking for a sub in my town,were either inconclusive or they were HNG's looking to score.The closest sub I have now is a 2 hour drive.When were not together we communicate via the pc.I prefer real time,cyber is just not doing it for me but if thats what you got to work with in between sessions then so be it.Orders are given through email or im.Which is a pain in the butt but is done to maintain the D/s relationship.So long distance does work but patience is needed to maintain it.



wildpony -> RE: long distance (4/13/2004 2:03:27 PM)

hi, i don't know if i'm too late with my 2 cents but here they are: i'm in a long-distance relationship with a Dom i met here on collarme in late october. it has some built-in difficulties but it is so, so great. the best thing, i think, is that W/we knew each other from the inside first before W/we ever looked at each other, because through emails we were free to be totally honest. i was completely in love with Him before that incredible moment when i was in His presence for the first time.

the key is keeping in contact as much as possible. on the phone and through email, in person whenever you can. trust and communication are necessary. those who have read my postings know trust is not my strongsuit but i'm working on it. He trusts me, and that's the bigger leap of faith.
every situation is different, of course, but the people who say long-distance can't work haven't met my Dom (thank god!!!)

wildpony



palemoon -> RE: long distance (4/14/2004 3:11:29 PM)

thank Y/you all so very much for your answers. it's been a long month of soul searching, but i think perhaps we may have come to an understanding. because of our private lives, we just kind of fell out, mostly my fault of course. i need to get my priorities straight, and decide what's important enough to work hard for.....and what's to become a sweet memory.

again, thank Y/you

beth



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