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Owned by two Doms - 1/12/2011 5:28:56 PM   
paindrops


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/18/2010
Status: offline 		Greetings to all. For the past few days I have been thinking about a poly dynamic. However, I desire to be owned by two Doms or a Dom and Master in the same household. Are there any subs or slaves in this type of poly dynamic? If so how does it work for your relationship? Do you lean to one Dom more than the other? I have a questions.

Namaste
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Owned by two Doms - 1/12/2011 6:18:45 PM   
January


Posts: 890
Joined: 4/17/2004
Status: offline 		The M/f/M dynamic sure is popular in erotica fiction. It must be a common fantasy. I suspect if two Doms actually shared the same woman in real life, and lived in the same house--not a temporary threesome fling--they would end up tearing each other's throats out.

Maybe somebody who has actually had a two master household will come around and post.

January

< Message edited by January -- 1/12/2011 6:21:34 PM >

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RE: Owned by two Doms - 1/12/2011 10:30:25 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1089
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		i have a Mistress and She is married to a Dom but i am only owned by my Mistress. She dosent share well. now i am also married to my vannila wife she is fully aware of it and gives consent. now in the dynamic im in i am respectfull of the other but i dont do anything that will diminish my service to my Mistress. now every dynamic will be diffrent and the one you describe would have to be worked out with all the participants involved

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(in reply to January)
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RE: Owned by two Doms - 1/13/2011 5:46:19 AM   
akainu


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/5/2010
Status: offline 		I am in something of a vaguely similar situation, I suppose. I am currently involved with two Dominant men, though the relationships have not progressed enough for me to be considered owned by either of Them, nor do I live with either of Them. I think, as long as everyone is honest, and neither of the Doms are too territorial, it should work. It really does depend on the people involved, as most relationships do.

Personally, I prefer having several equal relationships to having a primary and secondaries, but on a day-to-day basis I will tend to lean just a bit more one way than the other, depending on how I'm feeling and how They're feeling.

Hopefully you find what you're looking for and get all your questions answered.

(in reply to LPslittleclip)
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RE: Owned by two Doms - 1/13/2011 1:54:32 PM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: January

The M/f/M dynamic sure is popular in erotica fiction. It must be a common fantasy. I suspect if two Doms actually shared the same woman in real life, and lived in the same house--not a temporary threesome fling--they would end up tearing each other's throats out.


It does happen in poly.  Poly D/s is not radically different from poly vanilla when it comes to how people share and negotiate boundaries with their partner's OSO's (other significant others).  What the introduction of D/s does is basically makes it even more crucial for the OSO's to negotiate boundaries directly with one another.  Which is generally considered good poly practice anyway, so anyone who already has the skill set and inclination to negotiate living in a poly situation can do the same in a poly D/s situation.



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RE: Owned by two Doms - 1/14/2011 3:13:42 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3650
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: January

The M/f/M dynamic sure is popular in erotica fiction. It must be a common fantasy. I suspect if two Doms actually shared the same woman in real life, and lived in the same house--not a temporary threesome fling--they would end up tearing each other's throats out.

Maybe somebody who has actually had a two master household will come around and post.

January


Admittedly, our situation is a little different, as we're a household -first- and kink/fetish as an ancillary aspect, however, we haven't had a single issue with having multiple dominant members sharing the same servants. Truthfully, I think that it may very much depend on the maturity of the individuals involved, how much they like one another, whether or not they get along -outside- of the kink aspects of their lives, etc.

As I said, we're a family/household first. For us, this means that, even when there is tension over who is in charge of what (which does happen... life is -rarely- all peaches and cream) we work it out without "tearing each others' throats out". We negotiate, discuss, and follow the hierarchical tools we've created for ourselves.

For the OP -- it can work, but it won't be easy. It will mean finding people who genuinely like to be part of the same household, and who put the house/family first, before their own egos and power trips. For me, this seems to be a fundamental aspect of a healthy poly household in any case, and it isn't born overnight -- this kind of dynamic can take -years- (and some bobbles in the road and choices that don't work out well) to come together. If you're willing to invest that kind of effort into finding what you are looking for, it can exist.

Calla


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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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(in reply to January)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Owned by two Doms - 1/15/2011 3:27:21 PM   
paindrops


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/18/2010
Status: offline 		Thank you all for the responses.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Owned by two Doms - 1/16/2011 4:50:41 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 8119
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I was approached via email by two men who have a D/D profile on the other side. I was intrigued at first. While out of state, they said they're here in Florida part of each month. I tried to elicit details, as I know someone who often uses the "I'm in your area all the time" BS. (I see this all the time and often suspect it's BS, but only know it is in R's case.)

Shortly, I realized that they were only emailing me during work hours, and only wanting to get on chat (during work hours.)

I concluded "married slacker wankers" and stopped responding.

(in reply to paindrops)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Owned by two Doms - 1/16/2011 12:34:28 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: paindrops

Greetings to all. For the past few days I have been thinking about a poly dynamic. However, I desire to be owned by two Doms or a Dom and Master in the same household. Are there any subs or slaves in this type of poly dynamic? If so how does it work for your relationship? Do you lean to one Dom more than the other? I have a questions.

Namaste


Yup, we exist. We're in the minority but we exist.

For us, it works rather easily - it's hard to find people interested but it's hard to find the bisexual submissive unicorn. I think it's just hard to find a good match no matter what you are looking for!

From our point of view, if Valyraen were to tell me that I can't get involved with dominants that would effectively be telling me that I can't be poly since most of the people that I'm attracted to are dominant. Granted there are delicious exceptions but they are the exception and not the rule.

So, for us, it's a matter of communication. The 'newcomer' has to understand that they are new - not less important by any means since I'm incapable of looking at people as primary, secondary, etc - but that they are new and we'll work out our own system as we go.

When I was involved with another d-type (we all parted for reasons completely unrelated to our power dynamics) it was extremely pleasant. The sort of power dynamic that he and I were building was very different than the one I have with Valyraen. The two got along and shared me well which, I think, is the key.

I don't believe that two d-types are bound to rip each other throats out when they share - I think all parties simply have to be genuinely poly and have a genuine desire to make sure that all the relationships are working.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 1/16/2011 12:35:27 PM >

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to paindrops)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Owned by two Doms - 1/17/2011 1:48:02 PM   
SorceressJ


Posts: 2907
Joined: 7/24/2010
Status: offline 		Well, I am neither poly nor would I personally consider being owned by more than one Man, but this thread brought to mind some very interesting people I met a few summers ago, and was fortunate enough to spend some time in their relevant company.

Three people in a M/f/M dynamic, the woman was married to one of them but collared and owned by both. I do not think the other Master to whom she was not married lived with them, but would travel to spend time with them as often as possible. Everyone was fully aware and into it, and all three of them seemed very happy and planning for the long term. These weren't noobs or kids, either; they were experienced advice and demonstration-givers, had been doing it for years; the married couple were in their 40's at the time and the third gent was in His early 50's.

As with every single kind of relationship dynamic under the sun and moon, D/s, vanilla, poly or not, the possibilities can and do exist, but always depend on the particular chemistry of the individuals involved.
To each and every one of us, our own happiness.

< Message edited by SorceressJ -- 1/17/2011 1:49:07 PM >

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RE: Owned by two Doms - 1/17/2011 10:01:34 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline 		~FR

Is it any more fun if they're both bisexual Doms?

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RE: Owned by two Doms - 2/5/2011 12:25:49 AM   
rukia7819


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/16/2010
Status: offline 		I am living with 1 Dom and 1 master.  It is very akward sometimes.  For example I am having a problem with one of them.  He wants to take such good care of me that he is trying too hard and he is taking on too much pressure that he is repressing everything and I am starting to get worried about him.  This is putting a lot of pressure on us.  I try to be there for him but he is pushing me away. 

(in reply to Twoshoes)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Owned by two Doms - 2/6/2011 8:14:08 AM   
txurinal


Posts: 209
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline 		When owned, i was owned by 2 MASTERS. Lets call them ALPHA & BETA. Each wanted something very different from a slave. ALPHA wanted a playtoy, a whippng boy, sexual service. BETA wanted a housekeeper. Each got what they wanted.

i was always respectful and obedient to both. However,if i am to be truly honest, i probably cared more for ALPHA even though i was often treated better by BETA. ALPHA did all the discipline and was the one who punished me the few times it was given. What made it work was i knew my place as BOTH of THEIR slaves and did not in anyway try to change or come into THEIR relationship with each other

(in reply to rukia7819)
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RE: Owned by two Doms - 2/7/2011 2:43:16 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3528
Status: offline 		If I were younger I wouldn't mind being a 'house mouse' (aka taking care of needs for room and board) for a couple of Dominants.

But, now I just like having my own $$ too much, my own stuff and being so slutty takes up so much energy that I just don't have anymore.

But it sounds cools to me. In my hyper days, I could have likely handled 2, 3 mmm maybe 4 LOL

Old age bites!


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RE: Owned by two Doms - 2/7/2011 4:46:06 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		If the occasion arose where another male Dominant were to move in with us, it would be only with the agreed understanding that I am the Master and Neets is the Mistress of Bruin Cottage. There does not have to be negative situations because we are poly and would agree that the second dom was welcome to have sole ownership of any slave collared to him. He would be responsible for ensuring that said slave followed the protocols and rules of the home including her designated duties. Even were it a case where Neets wanted to screw him, I would expect him to ask me as well. Neets and I have well established protocols to enable this to occur no matter who owns a boy or girl. If I wished to use a lad for some CBT for example, and the lad was in her personal collar, I would ask her first if I may borrow him and secondly if she would like to either watch or join in.. Similarly if Neets wished to borrow a girl of mine, the same protocol would apply. We actually have the arrangement that at any time if one of us take a male or female into the bed room, the other partner is welcome to join in. It would be correct to say, Neets and I discuss everything before a situation happens..But then we are poly and enjoy swinging with both couples and singles.


< Message edited by IronBear -- 2/7/2011 4:47:29 AM >

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Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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RE: Owned by two Doms - 2/9/2011 4:56:50 AM   
0ldhen


Posts: 2218
Joined: 12/27/2010
From: Henhouse in Trolltopia, Harleyville USA
Status: offline
Good morning, IB, you have a great understanding of what it takes to run a household with honor; weg, and great hair.

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Owned by two Doms - 2/14/2011 4:53:48 PM   
MH44


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline 		Hello Paindrops,
It is possible. I am a Master who lives in Tampa and have a wonderful slave who has been with my wife and I for 6 years. In the interest of expanding her horizons we have allowed her to spend several Months each year with a Master in England. It seems to be working out well for all of us. As a matter of fact our slave is on her flight to Manchester England as I write this note.

MH44

(in reply to 0ldhen)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Owned by two Doms - 2/15/2011 1:53:39 PM   
Nanako


Posts: 207
Joined: 2/7/2011
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

~FR

Is it any more fun if they're both bisexual Doms?


This is an interesting thought
It seems to me that an M/M household would be a lot easier to find if you don't only focus on straight doms.

I've seen quite a few of them on gay sites.

(in reply to Twoshoes)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Owned by two Doms - 3/1/2011 6:03:48 PM   
MistressWingsong


Posts: 8
Joined: 3/1/2011
Status: offline 		In reply to txurinal's response:-
Thank you. You've just given Me the simplest reality check as to why things may have brokendown in My previous Poly D/D/s (F, M, f) situation. I had suspected that by being a BETA-type (i.e. wanting the housekeeper, it had backfired on Me). It could be said through personal research that the most successful D/s relationships (poly present or not) then, require the ALPHA to be ever-present. Rather like a working dog who is treated far more harshly than the average domestic pet, it respects it's Owner far better... loyal until the cows come home (pun intended) VWEG. Few words spoken TXU but very wise. Thanks for sharing, making Me stop and think. Even though this particular situation occurred more than 4 years ago now. Nothing like reflecting on the past mistakes to learn for the future though!!!

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RE: Owned by two Doms - 3/15/2011 2:59:26 PM   
oceancurrent5


Posts: 1
Joined: 7/6/2010
Status: offline 		I think the dominant MfM relationship is the most common form of polyandry. This is often where men who are siblings marry the same woman. Though this may seem great for the female on surface, she is often in a worst situation than most monogamous or polygyny relationships, because unlike the women of the last two relationships (mf or mff+) there is one woman taking care of multiple men in a polyandry relationship, because we all know how guys are.

(in reply to MistressWingsong)
Profile   Post #: 20
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