(Probably) very basic safeword question . . .

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(Probably) very basic safeword question . . . - 2/15/2011 7:28:54 AM

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What do you do for a safeword/action if sub has a ball gag and hands tied behind her back?

I've heard about drop objects etc but seems to me there is a fair chance dom may not notice - or can't see in some circs.

All suggestions/experiences welcome.

RE: (Probably) very basic safeword question . . . - 2/15/2011 7:32:14 AM

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If the feet are still free, there is always the idea of using foot stomping.

If you're worried about not seeing an object dropping from the hand, make it a bell. You can get a cat toy for under a couple of bucks that will jingle when it hits the floor.

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RE: (Probably) very basic safeword question . . . - 2/15/2011 7:41:18 AM

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A bell - that's good idea. Thanks.

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RE: (Probably) very basic safeword question . . . - 2/15/2011 7:43:44 AM

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Shrugging the shoulders up and down could be a good sign to do in distress or panic--if shaking the head NO is not quite good enough and part of the play.

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RE: (Probably) very basic safeword question . . . - 2/15/2011 9:08:38 AM

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If the dom has taken away the ability to communicate in any other way than to drop an object, then it's his responsibility to always keep an eye out for it to drop at any time.

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RE: (Probably) very basic safeword question . . . - 2/15/2011 10:10:42 AM

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Lots of people use bells or clickers so you can hear that. However even if she can't speak clearly she can still grunt. Three grunts in a row could indicate a problem. Me? I open and close my fists repeatedly. If both and quickly, then he takes the gag out so I can explain. If it's just one and slowly it means that wrist is going numb.

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RE: (Probably) very basic safeword question . . . - 2/19/2011 3:57:37 AM

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My Daddy knows the difference between my play head shaking no and when I mean it.. plus he checks in on me often and we use hand signals as well.

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RE: (Probably) very basic safeword question . . . - 2/19/2011 4:00:13 AM

TotalDiscipline

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quote:

What do you do for a safeword/action if sub has a ball gag and hands tied behind her back?

if you two worry about such actions getting out of hand...don't do them ( it is an option to prevent, safewords..are mostly to late ))

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RE: (Probably) very basic safeword question . . . - 2/19/2011 4:32:03 AM

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Here's a bit of advice from my book, The Loving Dominant. [note: this is copyrighted so please do not repost elsewhere]

     I don't use gags much. They cut down on the complex verbal interaction between the submissive and the dominant (i.e. I like screaming and begging). They, also, can be risky.

However, in a semi-public environment (like apartment with thin walls or motel rooms), gags can avoid 'premature termination of the scene through external influence.' (e.g. someone calling the cops) Some submissives, also, enjoy gags. The mild ache from the stretched jaw muscles is a reminder of their status. The ball gives them something to bite down on while you are stimulating them, and for those who enjoy humiliation, the uncontrollable drooling provides the dominant endless opportunities for comment.

Before you use a gag, establish a safe signal that will work when the gag is in place. Like a safe word, it should be something that would not take place as part of a scene. This eliminates random grunting, but using a rhythm is acceptable. Don't get too complex. It may be easy for your submissive to hum The Stars and Stripes Forever when the only thing you are doing is watching. It is entirely a different matter to do it when you are playing Connect the Dots on his or her skin with a needle.

Simple physical signals are effective too. Some submissives use opening and closing both hands to signal unacceptable discomfort when gagged. Others use slow and purposeful eye blinks.

-------------------

As for the OP's original comment about the dominant not noticing... dominants are supposed to be paying attention. That's part of the job description.

< Message edited by JohnWarren -- 2/19/2011 4:34:43 AM >

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RE: (Probably) very basic safeword question . . . - 2/19/2011 9:46:41 AM

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snapping your fingers

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RE: (Probably) very basic safeword question . . . - 2/19/2011 5:34:38 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TotalDiscipline
if you two worry about such actions getting out of hand...don't do them ( it is an option to prevent, safewords..are mostly to late ))

Why on earth would you assume that? I've used my gesture for years. He takes out the gag, I explain I have a cramp, he redoes the tie and we move on.

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RE: (Probably) very basic safeword question . . . - 2/20/2011 11:38:23 AM

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thanks for the responses. glad I asked!

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RE: (Probably) very basic safeword question . . . - 2/20/2011 6:54:10 PM

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A partner who liked breath play would snap her head up and to the right when it got too intense.

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RE: (Probably) very basic safeword question . . . - 2/20/2011 9:29:38 PM

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I have the sub use three repetitive sounds. Basically say any word through the gag three times. That way i won't miss seeing anything. "Stop. Stop. Stop." works well. This lets the sub mumble and it avoids me missing any visual cues.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

RE: (Probably) very basic safeword question . . . - 2/22/2011 3:39:16 PM

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I like a clicker... old children's toy that makes a noisy insect like click when pressed. It is loud enough to break through when "in the zone" and get the attention. An acquaintance used the TV remote with the volume turned on high on the TV. A press of the button and you have a bunch of glaring noise.

Stefan

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RE: (Probably) very basic safeword question . . . - 2/23/2011 9:18:42 PM

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Either three taps on the dominant's body (if you can reach them) or three grunts.

Also, we touch the others hand as a check in. One squeeze means they're ok, three means stop now.

(in reply to MercTech)

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