RE: The desire to have an additional woman

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Polyamorous Lifestyles >> RE: The desire to have an additional woman

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RE: The desire to have an additional woman - 7/5/2011 7:09:43 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 6464
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

My fiance is simply offering me a chance to have this wonderful opportunity and I want to take it,

Why do you want to take it???!!!!

I really hope it is for reasons that are alittle more substantial than

quote:

She is merely open to me having a woman live with me for sex and a bit of bondage

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"Respect.... It is the ability to see people as they are, to be aware of their unique individuality" Eric Fromm

(in reply to Dadabhoy)

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RE: The desire to have an additional woman - 7/8/2011 4:12:14 AM

Sunny27

Posts: 133
Joined: 10/9/2010
Status: offline

"1. Never ever give any money to anyone, except in person.
2. If someone needs you to pay to travel to your home, offer reimbursement on arrival, or look for airline services that will allow you to buy a ticket for someone else, and allow you (and only you) to claim a refund on the ticket if the person never gets on the flight. DO NOT SEND THEM MONEY DIRECTLY.

I wish you luck OP. Another site you can try is fetlife.

Edit: No guessing, OP is entirely open about his religion. Openness is the best way to go ^__^ "

Ok I'm a sub to my Master but otherwise I 'm a switch as in I like to play with other girls and be the domme or else be playpartners!
Your number 1. Idea is well sorry for saying this but stupid!
You shouldn't pay a girl for sleeping with you as then your making her out to be a prostitute.
If your ok with him sleeping with another girl before you get married and marraige is still on the go.
Sorry but your crazy!When I was young I thought right I'm not going to sleep with a guy until I'm married
and since I'm still not married I'm glad I've had that experience with different guys and gotten to know those guys personality much more.
So I'm know so happy that yes myself and my b.f. have been together 3 and half years,we're hoping to be engaged next January.
I couldn't handle the fact that my b.f. wanted to shag another girl whenever he wanted like before we did anything like that together!

If you go onto fetlife to be a member be careful as I used to be a member there for like 3 years and then I started getting verbal hassle from people younger than me and from people twice my age I was just amazed at when I told my Master.

He then looked at it and I hadn't gone back to it in like two days and there was already 103 comments more, When I saw it I actually calmed down lots as there were people not from Ireland sticking up for me and saying "Oh I was interested in going to Ireland but now seeing this kind of treatment to an Irish girl is ridiculous!"
I was then told that all of a sudden there were people asking to be taken off fetlife!
The strange thing was that because myself and my friend were having a good sarcastic banter going on other people were saying "oh blow up her house" or "are you really serious as to be sending her a bomb!"
My friend is a bit older than me and works with bomb disposals!
He said he'd send me one in a package if I wanted!
I answered back "oh please yes with a prettypink bow on top! HeeHee!"
People were writing back saying "She's psycho, be careful of her!"
My guy friend then wrote back saying "yeah sure and tell me what colour do you want the box to be?"

Now Yes as myself and my friend are Irish. we're also very sarcastic, so this was just a good laugh, it was just all made up but we were both laughing so much, we didn't realise that people actually thought we were deadly serious!
When we met at the next Nimhneach, we just Laughed when we realised that they thought we wanted to kill each other! Thing is only friends can have a banter going on longer than a comment each!
Just to have you guys realise that if your going to be sarcastic to someone do it in a private message on fetlife!

(in reply to kalikshama)

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RE: The desire to have an additional woman - 8/13/2011 7:08:49 AM

SirJ40

Posts: 157
Joined: 12/21/2008
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I'm always amazed how much like "I'd like to buy a new car, but I need it to have both gas mileage and a lot of power" these posts sound. You're not shopping for a car, and even in a M/s situation, you're not so much getting a new toy. You're trying to attract someone.. so you have to act in attractive ways. I'd say one of the most attractive things would be to show interest in that other person's wants and needs, and present yourself from that angle, instead of "here's what I want from you", try more of an "here's what we have to offer" theory. You have to remember, you're part of a HUGE group of people who are trying to connect with one (or more) of a relatively small group of individuals. Competition for the attention of our mythical Unicorns is beyond fierce.. the more you have to offer, the more likely you are to attract someone.. eventually.. maybe.
Patience- that would be important too.

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RE: The desire to have an additional woman - 8/13/2011 2:02:10 PM

Feminita

Posts: 41
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: feminita
Status: offline

Desperately seeking a second female for frequent visits or 24/7. Must be h/w proportionate. D/d free- 420 ok.

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RE: The desire to have an additional woman - 8/13/2011 2:14:23 PM

UniqueRaven

Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

Nods to what SirJ40 said.

I do think it's interesting how often someone sees my slave profile and thinks "oh, she's a slave, she'll do" as if they're ordering me off of some online catalog or something.

Unfortunately, I don't come ready to roll right out of the box...there is some assembly required.

There's a lot more to this than just finding a girl who is willing to have fun as your sex toy. There are human emotions evolved - yours, your fiance's, and whoever the "third" may be - and you could be setting things up for disaster, if you're not careful.

Good luck to you.

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"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

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RE: The desire to have an additional woman - 8/13/2011 4:21:44 PM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline

While my situation isn't really very similar to what you are seeking, I am the hub of a three-way poly relationship involving myself and three other woman, so I can give you some advice. First, I'll give you a caveat, two of my relationships are not in really BDSM related, they are vanilla with a touch of kinkiness.

I met all three of them in everyday life, just the way you would meet a woman you might consider for a vanilla relationship. I didn't do anything, but be me, when they expressed an interest in me, I told them my situation and that while I was very interested in being with them, I wasn't interested in a short term fling, and that any relationship with me would have to be a poly one that allowed for my other relationships. They accepted, they were not the only women to hit on me, nor were they the only ones I hit on, they just happen to be the only two to agree to my terms.

So, my advice to you is to look everywhere, to consider any woman you find attractive a potential, and to court her normally. However, be upfront with them as to the poly situation, and the M/s aspect. Now granted, most women you meet day-to-day will be uninterested, but you never know. Since the M/s aspect of the relationship seems to be a vital to you, you should, of course concentrate your search in BDSM friendly places, munches, clubs, events and so on. But do not limit it to such places.

Rather than thinking of it as a looking for a 2nd woman, think of it as looking for a woman. If you and she aren't compatible in the first place, then there's no point in even trying to go poly. Women open to the sort of relationship you are seeking do exist, you found one already, right? So just do what you did to meet your fiancee, that worked for you once already.

That's about it, probably not really very useful advice, but it seemed to work for me, it might for you.

I wish you the very best of luck in your hunt.

(in reply to Dadabhoy)

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Post #: 26