RE: Lack of male slaves

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Lack of male slaves

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Lack of male slaves

Page: << < prev 3 4 [5] 6 7 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/6/2011 4:17:16 PM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline

This thread is too much, for me NOT to comment on ...

1. The only way a man becomes a Woman's slave ... is because of the MENTAL connection, between the two!

2. Yes, W/we do exist, although W/we real ones, can be as hard to find as Dommes!

3. In vanilla life, i am a very Alpha Man. A leader ... polished and accomplished. Yet i can be reduced to Your slave, (consentually, of course) IF YOU CAN MAKE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU!

4. Several Dommes have accomplished getting that far ... so ...

WHY CAN"T YOU ????

i suspect everyone else has pinpointed the reasons!

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/6/2011 4:35:19 PM

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

In vanilla life, i am a very Alpha Man. A leader ... polished and accomplished. Yet i can be reduced to Your slave

Shouldn't that be 'i am a very Alpha Man . . . . Yet i can be raised to be Your slave'?

Just thought I'd point that out before a gang of femdoms piles in on you. I don't think I could stand all the ululating and waving of floggers.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/6/2011 4:40:31 PM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

In vanilla life, i am a very Alpha Man. A leader ... polished and accomplished. Yet i can be reduced to Your slave

Shouldn't that be 'i am a very Alpha Man . . . . Yet i can be raised to be Your slave'?

Just thought I'd point that out before a gang of femdoms piles in on you. I don't think I could stand all the ululating and waving of floggers.

ROFL ... Indeed, as always ... you have terrific insight!

That band would be more than I can handle!

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/6/2011 4:57:53 PM

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

IMO there is only a difference if you're talking about a fairly distant relationship where you're not really a big part of each other's day to day lives. Eg, you aren't paying bills together, you don't cook and eat most meals together at home, you don't do most of your vanilla activities together, etc.

I think Peon's talking about a much earlier stage of the relationship - you don't jump straight into eating most of your meals and doing most of your activities together when you meet someone. When you're contributing to a relationship, those things are what you're paying for. When you're paying a woman but you're not yet at that stage, you're not paying for food/dance lessons/gym membership/heating/whatever, you're paying her for her time.

I can see how paying for a woman's time would mess with his head, and I know for sure he's not the kind of man who would protest at contributing to shared finances. Trust me, if you think that's what he's saying, you've read him *wrong*.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/6/2011 5:04:51 PM

Posts: 223
Joined: 2/17/2011
Status: offline

I have myself as switch, only because I could be sub/slave if the right woman was doming me, but it would have to be someone I trust and know I can rely on. Not someone I'm paying for it, there is no connection there!

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/6/2011 5:28:59 PM

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
I can see how paying for a woman's time would mess with his head, and I know for sure he's not the kind of man who would protest at contributing to shared finances. Trust me, if you think that's what he's saying, you've read him *wrong*.

Hon, thank you . . . .

What I want to guard against here, though, is going down a path that's been well-trodden in the past. There have been some astonishingly vicious, nasty and furious debates about pro-dommes, 'tributes' and the general matter of paying on this forum.

One of the things that's irked me immensely is that during such threads, certain pro/tribute dommes have tried to align themselves with those lifestylers who've voiced (in my view often legitimate and understandable) complaints about tight-fisted men, ungentlemanly men, and those men who are just generally deeply suspicious of 'wallet-lighteners' amongst women as a sex.

That tactic on the part of such pro/tribute dommes (and to be fair, it's been just a few of them) I find downright repulsive. The world of pro/tribute dommes and their clients on the one hand, and that of lifestylers and their sub partners on the other, will always be apples and oranges to me. The feelings and the dynamics involved just aren't comparable.

I don't think for a second that LNT wants to obliterate the black and white here in favour of some 'it's all shades of grey' argument with the same underhand motivation as such pro/tribute dommes . . . but I do want to make it clear that this is where I stand on the matter, and will always stand. I will have romances and then, hopefully, partnerships, with women, or I will have nothing. I will not have business transactions with women. I would rather wank till the day I die than have the latter.

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 3/6/2011 6:00:01 PM >

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/6/2011 5:35:44 PM

Posts: 1360
Status: offline

I'm sorry if I'm the odd one here, but personally I find the topic to be rather moot.

I mean, male slave by who's definition? Female domme by who's definition? And what for? For play? For a relationship? In a tribute for kink sort of arrangement?

I think that anyone, irrespective of who they are, what gender, what side of the kneel they find themselves on, or whatever, if they have at least an ounce of common sense, they are looking for a person - someone they can relate to, communicate with, understand and above all trust.

There seems to be yet another group of people nobody has even bothered to mention. These are people from what we would regard as wider society, the so-called 'vanillas', the vanilla women who are calling themselves domme but who are anything but, and the guys who are coming into this seeing it as some sort of alternative to the vanilla dating sites.

It doesn't matter whoever which way you look at it, it all boils down to the same - men and women, i.e. people. It doesn't matter how long the profile is, what is written, all the journal entries, kinks, fetishes, and Lord knows whatever else you have online at your disposal. Nor do the demographics.

Thing is, however which way you are looking at it, when you are seeking or looking, you are in essence only looking for one person. It's in your best interests to get to know that person and do the distance, and I honestly believe that two people who really want to be together will find a way of being together, of finding the right wavelength, way of communicating, understanding, and ironing out all the dynamics, kinks, limits and whatever else goes to make a successful relationship.

The numbers and demographics don't matter because in reality generally speaking you are only looking for one person - hopefully the right person for you at that time, in those circumstances, for whatever it is you want to share with someone.

It's hard enough as it is in vanilla dating to find someone, and I honestly believe that when you throw in a D/s dynamic or kink into the mix it doesn't make it any easier. If anything it makes it harder and that bit more challenging.

Some people find it frustrating, and this is what you see among certain people on any site, you see it in profiles, it comes across even in individual postings. Human nature I guess. Not everybody is reconciled with loneliness, or with not getting what they want and need. Each has merits to their arguments, it must be soul destroying to be writing off message after message and not getting much response. It must be equally soul destroying to follow up message after message and not get anywhere. And yes, it does make you wonder.

But I still feel at the end of the day it's a moot point, because no matter who you are, no matter what you are into, no matter what side of the kneel you are on, where you live, what you are involved in, you are generally not much different to many others, and you are just looking for that one person who is going to make all the difference.

_____________________________

Usually when you have all the answers for something nobody is interested in listening.

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/6/2011 5:51:13 PM

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

Stellauk,

quote:

I'm sorry if I'm the odd one here, but personally I find the topic to be rather moot. I mean, male slave by who's definition? Female domme by who's definition? And what for? For play? For a relationship? In a tribute for kink sort of arrangement?

You're not the odd one out. I pointed this out several pages back and I'm in agreement with the thinking in the rest of your post too. Thanks for adding perspective to the main topic of this thread.

Elan.

< Message edited by ElanSubdued -- 3/6/2011 5:53:09 PM >

(in reply to stellauk)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/7/2011 7:16:46 AM

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Stella!! You and your common sense!!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to ElanSubdued)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/7/2011 10:31:39 AM

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
I think Peon's talking about a much earlier stage of the relationship - you don't jump straight into eating most of your meals and doing most of your activities together when you meet someone. When you're contributing to a relationship, those things are what you're paying for. When you're paying a woman but you're not yet at that stage, you're not paying for food/dance lessons/gym membership/heating/whatever, you're paying her for her time.

Right.....then at that stage of the relationship, can you actually, realistically say that you are owned? I don't think you can, if your lives are that separate. Other people's definitions may vary, but that's how I see ownership. And he did use the word "owned", which prompted my comment.

quote:

I can see how paying for a woman's time would mess with his head, and I know for sure he's not the kind of man who would protest at contributing to shared finances. Trust me, if you think that's what he's saying, you've read him *wrong*.

Nope, didn't read him that way, but he was describing the relationship as Owner/property. When you're that far along, there are generally going to be real life shared expenses of some sort. Being in that kind of relationship and not being willing to pay your way isn't likely to be a healthy or realistic option.

_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/7/2011 10:51:05 AM

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
The world of pro/tribute dommes and their clients on the one hand, and that of lifestylers and their sub partners on the other, will always be apples and oranges to me. The feelings and the dynamics involved just aren't comparable.

From your perspective, perhaps not. From my perspective, they really are. But then, I don't view my clients as walking wallets. They're human beings with whom I want to have a fair, honest and mutually supportive transaction. Even if I'm in a professional rather than personal relationship with someone, the same principles of honesty and fairness and transparency that work for me in my personal relationships work very well for me professionally. I do care about my clients' success in bettering themselves, and I care about them as people. There are limits to the boundaries of that care, as well as professional ethics (eg, I can't have sex with them). But it's still caring.

Nobody gets a free ride with me, not personally and not professionally. Everyone in my family pulls their weight to the best of their ability, including me. Likewise, if someone approaches and wants my time and energy, they must give commensurately of themselves as a fair exchange. Money works, especially if we both want to limit the relationship to neat and convenient professional boundaries. Not-money works too. If I was approached by someone who was absolutely sincere in their wish to have a fair and mutually supportive transaction with me that did not involve money but did involve both of us getting a fair deal in exchanging time and energy, and who had a realistic idea of what was fair and useful to me, I'd be good with that. Naked pictures of a random stranger are NOT realistically fair and useful to me. In practice, folks who want to barter have to be local and have to have practical skills to trade for my skills.

There simply are no black and white divisions with me between client and friend and personal play partner. All of my human interactions are based on honesty, communication, fairness and mutual benefit. Money is just one medium of exchange, arguably the quickest and most convenient one. It's concentrated time and energy and easy to transfer around.

quote:

I don't think for a second that LNT wants to obliterate the black and white here in favour of some 'it's all shades of grey' argument with the same underhand motivation as such pro/tribute dommes . . . but I do want to make it clear that this is where I stand on the matter, and will always stand. I will have romances and then, hopefully, partnerships, with women, or I will have nothing. I will not have business transactions with women. I would rather wank till the day I die than have the latter.

My motivation is just to tell the truth about how I personally operate. Other people may operate differently, and that's fine for them. But this is really how I do things, and it works pretty well for me.

Also, I presume you mean you won't have sexual/romantic business transactions with women, not that you would refuse to sell your car to someone who has a va-jay-jay.

_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/7/2011 11:21:39 AM

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
OK, let's put it this way: assuming that I pay X to a pro-domme for her services as my owner in our shared house, she will then pay me X for my being her pro-sub. So that amount, X, is cancelled out. The other options for me would be a) neither she nor I are 'pros' or b) we don't have a relationship, nor live together.

Well that assumes you're worth the same.

I tend to put my pretty boys on a pedestal. If I could climb the moon and steal the brightest stars from the night sky to adorn his collar, it would barely be enough. I think he's worth more than me, because he is mine, and because he is beautiful. He doesn't agree, but I own him so I get to set his worth. I set it very high. So I'd be in trouble if I used this model, unless I was renting him out.

If you don't have a relationship nor live together, then by definition you're not owned. If you're playing at all, you're a casual play partner. If you're paying her for her time in seeing you, then it's a professional transaction.

"Tribute" in a relationship is where there is considerable grey area, IMO. I do think that if you're in a relationship or a poly family, you have an absolute responsibility to pay a fair share into the upkeep of stuff that is for your mutual use. And it's also okay to have a relationship where the sub willingly gives some of his concentrated time and energy (money) to directly support and serve the dominant and make her life better, because it's what they both want to do. There is a whole lot of potential for bullshit and abuse in this situation on BOTH sides however. There are subs who think the dom should pay for all the toys and the play space, and if they are asked to contribute they scream abuse. There are doms who are not really giving much to their subs but demand money that is basically for nothing. Neither is healthy or workable in the long term.

quote:

Contributions to the upkeep of the household, and in proportion to need, ability to pay, level of usage etc etc, are something else again - and they are, as I've agreed, perfectly reasonable.

That is generally the model I operate on, professionally as well as personally. The straight economic model doesn't actually change for me whether it's a personal or a professional relationship. TANSTAAFL; everyone pulls their weight, and everyone gets back what they put in. Fairness is paramount and governs all my interactions. If I don't think it's fair, even if it is to my advantage, I will negotiate for more fairness and less immediate personal advantage, because that is a more sustainable long term model. That simply makes good business sense as well as good personal sense. So there really is no radical chasm of separation for me between how I run my personal and professional relationships. They both operate on Heinlein style TANSTAAFL principles.

_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/7/2011 11:43:06 AM

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer
Also, I presume you mean you won't have sexual/romantic business transactions with women, not that you would refuse to sell your car to someone who has a va-jay-jay.

Then you presume wrongly, Lady N. I have a sense of social responsibility. I wouldn't sell grenades to terrorists, either.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooonly joking.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/7/2011 11:50:08 AM

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline

Peon, you are SO begging for a spanking.

_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/13/2011 12:28:54 PM

Posts: 9
Joined: 1/27/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

This thread is too much, for me NOT to comment on ...

1. The only way a man becomes a Woman's slave ... is because of the MENTAL connection, between the two!

2. Yes, W/we do exist, although W/we real ones, can be as hard to find as Dommes!

3. In vanilla life, i am a very Alpha Man. A leader ... polished and accomplished. Yet i can be reduced to Your slave, (consentually, of course) IF YOU CAN MAKE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU!

4. Several Dommes have accomplished getting that far ... so ...

WHY CAN"T YOU ????

i suspect everyone else has pinpointed the reasons!

Definetly, a nice reply. It is so good to see that the real slaves out there focus on love, on today's photoshop world of cybering lust and streaming video fantasies.

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/13/2011 3:19:05 PM

Posts: 234
Joined: 2/24/2011
Status: offline

i dont know - but there seems to be an awful lot of male dominants who secretly want to be dominated by a lesbian submissive

_____________________________

i just popped in to say

(in reply to AcademyForSlaves)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/13/2011 3:28:52 PM

Posts: 183
Joined: 2/14/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jennislut

i dont know - but there seems to be an awful lot of male dominants who secretly want to be dominated by a lesbian submissive

ha, I always get minor internet crushes after noticing pics of cute submissive girls, never waste mine and their time messaging them though!

(in reply to Jennislut)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/13/2011 4:04:46 PM

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jennislut

i dont know - but there seems to be an awful lot of male dominants who secretly want to be dominated by a lesbian submissive

What? Why, for feck's sake? Have you any theory why that might be? I'm stewing my brains trying to figure that one out.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to Jennislut)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/13/2011 4:35:02 PM

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

What? Why, for feck's sake? Have you any theory why that might be? I'm stewing my brains trying to figure that one out.

Duh. Sexual unobtainability. It's like turning a lesbian, but squared.

And they think because she's submissive she won't tell anyone.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/13/2011 4:53:45 PM

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

What? Why, for feck's sake? Have you any theory why that might be? I'm stewing my brains trying to figure that one out.

Duh. Sexual unobtainability. It's like turning a lesbian, but squared.

And they think because she's submissive she won't tell anyone.

Oh right - I get the 'unobtainable' thing. Me, I've seen pics and profiles of certain femsubs and thought, 'Oh hell, if only I could 'turn you around'' - though, have always assumed that that's not possible. Likewise, femdoms who are only interested in gay femsubs. But I'm a malesub. These are male Doms!

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

Page: << < prev 3 4 [5] 6 7 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Lack of male slaves

Page: << < prev 3 4 [5] 6 7 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.121