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FriendlyMuppet -> RE: Lack of male slaves (4/28/2017 11:13:44 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: heavyblinker
So threads apparently used to involve actual discussion as opposed to making fun of people for their social shortcomings and political beliefs.
I think the reason that there are so many fakes/males who don't want to be slaves is because being a slave is a shitty way to live. It's a nice fantasy and I get off on it, but the reality sucks balls.
You have this usually horrible person who insults you, demands all kinds of shit from you, is constantly attacking your self esteem, and then if you don't do what they want or complain, you get punished like a child. You know you have more to bring to the table, but you don't always get to do so. You might end up in a situation where someone controls your money then spends it in irresponsible ways on shit that makes you mad. Maybe if you really weren't getting anything out of your life beforehand this would be okay, but knowing my money is making someone else's ridiculous, boring, materialistic dreams come true while I'm no longer exploring the world and communing with nature is absolutely unbearable. Obviously I can't speak for everyone, but I'm wayyyy too independent to ever be a good slave... and I can't imagine I'm in a minority.
Eventually, you realize it was never a desire to submit, it was a desire to get off... even if you DO get off in a bigger way when you're in this kind of relationship, you soon realize that it's not worth putting up with everything else. Even if you're stuck in a routine that isolates you socially and makes you depressed... and you feel like your only reason for living is watching increasingly nasty femdom porn videos, actually trying slavery will make you realize that you actually do have other things going on that you were just taking for granted, and will both augment and ruin the fantasy for you-- sort of like real sex does for vanilla porn. So that is something positive that comes out of it.
I'm obviously not as experienced as others here so maybe my experience isn't the norm, but then it seems to me that the fact that someone actually wants to enslave someone says a lot about what kind of person they are... and it's not the good kind. Obviously this is just my experience, but I really can't imagine someone living a fulfilling life like that on a long term basis unless they switched it off more often than not or didn't respect themselves.
First, yes I know this is a necro thread, but I'm responding to a very recent post, so there's that.
Second, I disagree with the premise that you perceive lifestyle slavery to be. I've been in a few long term bdsm relationships, and it's never been just a desire to "get off", nor was it ever with someone who desired to attack my self-esteem and just punish me arbitrarily as one would a child. Sure, that can be a fantasy in such a dynamic, but it doesn't define the dynamic is every case.
For me, slavery is about meeting the needs of a woman who meets my needs to be submissive to her. I've honestly never been in a D/s relationship where I've felt disrespected, worthless or unwanted. Quite often, it serves as a vehicle for me to be the best I can be within the standards of a woman who expects the best from her submissive, and when that dynamic is shared, it's a wonderful experience for both parties. I've also known many women who have been quite comfortable being submissive to a dominant male or a dominant female. Too often people relegate these types of relationships to their own expectations or their own personal desires and feel that anyone who lives in a way different than they do (or desire), then something must be wrong with them.
I've said this before, but if this type of relationship isn't for you, then that's fine. But just because you're not a fan of living such a relationship yourself doesn't negate the significance of these types of relationships for others who are quite comfortable within them.
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