AlwaysLisa
Posts: 1072
Joined: 10/6/2006
From: Washington State
Status: offline
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Afternoon, Y'all.
After reading the BDSM is not practiced by Goreans thread, I did some pondering. It's taken a few days to come up with what I hope makes sense. (That thread was starting to go off in different directions, hence the new one)
I can only offer my own take on this, since thats all I've experienced, you may have a differing opinion, based on your own. This subject is not new, for years now people have debated the differences, what they are, why they are there, can you do both, etc., and up until now, I never had the words to describe how I feel.
My husband and I met in a gorean chatroom. Before that point, I had searched for someone, but knew I was not into BDSM. The tricky part, was trying to find a dominant man who also didn't find BDSM to his liking, yet was uncompromising and unwavering in what he wanted. One after the other, asked me what my limits where, tried to impress upon me how wonderful the BDSM experience was and how much I would like it, once tried. The only place I knew to look, was at local BDSM gatherings, munches, etc...but that obviously didn't work, since everyone there (but me, it seemed) really was into the whole package.
What made my back teeth grind more then the "play", was the fact most men I encountered through these functions were dominant at certain moments. The balance of their time, they were "wooing" women, chasing them down almost, in some cases, begging...for a chance to dominate them.
This was my introduction into BDSM.
Through the internet, I discovered online chat rooms, one thing led to another and I found myself in gorean rooms. It was like someone opened the testosterone flood gates... all I could do was inhale. I was also amazed at the number of men and women who did not find BDSM enjoyable. There most certainly is a difference, IMO. We know folks who dabble, when time permits in the local BDSM party, but the day to day living, is under the gorean mantle. Through this forum, I've read about diehard BDSM lovers who add a gorean flavor with the addition of props and costumes.
I'm not saying that both can't be accomplished, but I also don't feel there needs to be any connection between BDSM and living with a gorean mindset. I personally find them to be apples and oranges, but if you like fruit salad, enjoy! BUT! No matter how you mix the two, an apple will never be an orange.
Lisa
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"Harry Potter is all about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight, is all about how important it is to have a boyfriend"
--- Stephen King
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