RE: The first time you heard

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RE: The first time you heard - 5/21/2011 5:14:35 AM

SirJ40

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I first heard the term from my wife. I hadn't considered it to be anything other than swinging up to that point, however swinging hadn't been very rewarding.
Hearing her describe the relationship aspect of Polyamory, a light went on for me.

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RE: The first time you heard - 5/22/2011 7:00:04 AM

Tonkerman

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Well actually it was when my parents bought our first Parrot, it's not that he came with a few wives in tow, it rather justseemed to be the perfect name for him.

BTW, I'm new to this board so please forgive any misunderstandings I may have at this time, I will learn.

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RE: The first time you heard - 8/1/2011 9:30:58 PM

HeatherMcLeather

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The day Hanners first showed me these boards.

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RE: The first time you heard - 8/1/2011 11:47:36 PM

littlewonder

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in my home economics class in high school which...dating myself now...was over 20 years ago. The teacher was explaining different types of relationships in different cultures and their effects on birth control, economic and social status.

It sounded like it wasn't something I'd ever want to be a part of it. Then 10 years ago I got sucked into one and yup...it wasn't for me.

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RE: The first time you heard - 8/2/2011 4:06:06 AM

0ldhen

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FelineFae

i was very young, my birth parents were poly .

This is me too....I clearly remember feeling sorry for the kids with only one mommy...I mean....what if she was busy and you needed a mommy right now?

I also remember feeling sorry for them only having a few siblings......how boring.....how did you play any good games?

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RE: The first time you heard - 8/4/2011 2:23:47 PM

CrazyCats

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My first introduction to poly probably came with Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land, but I read that for a class writing assignment pretty early on in life. I'm talking around middle school. The term, and the idea may have been planted early on, but I didn't really think much about it till I struck upon kink.

The pushing of what I considered reality brought that idea out pretty quickly for me. Prior to finding kink at 17, I figured that things like poly style groups were as much a part of fantasy as fireballs, FTL travel, and dragons. Looking back on it... wow, I was a tad sheltered! I thought myself pretty knowledgeable at the time, since I had read things like the Karma Sutra.

Got to love looking back and realizing what hubris one had at an earlier stage of life. That makes me wonder what I will look back on and think the same of where I am now at 30.

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RE: The first time you heard - 8/4/2011 7:12:36 PM

hejira92

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From: Palm Beach County, Fl
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Wow. First, I'm so glad this thread got bumped up. I never saw it the first time around.

Sunshine- you know how much I love you.

KoM- Thank you for the kind words and encouragement. We were honored to have you and Kyra share your wisdom with us about the path we are on.

Now, to the topic:

I heard all the bible stories (and wondered where the women-led families were, too). In middle and high school, I read all the Heinlein books (and sometimes got exasperated at the old guy getting all these hot, young chicks. C'mon.....) and there were some really good stories in the Harlan Ellison "Dangerous Visions" series, too (if I recall that long ago correctly).

I don't think they used the term poly, but I can't help but think I was influenced by my parents' open marriage. They tried not to bring it home, but I always knew they had special "friends" who were extended family to us.

For me, I never considered it possible until entering the BDSM community. I remember, in college, being almost resentful that I had to choose between male and female energy in a relationship. So, I bounced between boyfriends and girlfriends because it was such a struggle for me.

In the years I was married, I often thought to myself that I had copped out into the easy/hetero choice and that I had made a serious mistake.

Now, Sir has enabled me to dream of that perfect balance I wished I could find all those years ago.

Sigh. One day.....

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RE: The first time you heard - 8/4/2011 9:31:57 PM

LafayetteLady

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Of course the polygamy thing is the first to come to mind. I think it was about the Mormons in Utah having multiple wives.

However, it wasn't until my college sociology class that the professor talked about a place where the women had multiple husbands. I remember thinking to myself, now THAT is more like it!

Not until here did I hear it in connection with any type of BDSM relationships. I'm still of the opinion (and I don't believe I'm alone in this thought) that poly relationships and BDSM are mutually exclusive. Either can exist without the other. Of course, I'm also of the belief where if it works for the people involved, and they are happy, I don't see anything wrong with it.

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RE: The first time you heard - 8/5/2011 12:17:57 AM

PrincessDonna1

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When i was younger and in the adult entertainment industry I was with a man that had 3 other women,we all lived in the same house,shared chores,and our common bond was that we all cared for this man,we got along well,shared chores,child care,cooking,it was great and I enjoy that type of relationship today,just with out the promoter!

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RE: The first time you heard - 8/7/2011 4:18:23 PM

LinnaeaBorealis

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The first time I actually heard the term, was in the early 2000's when talking with a Lesbian on a website. She had brought up the term polyamorous & when I asked her what that meant, she simplified it into, "It just means that I am capable of loving many, males &/or females." I think, if I remember right, she lived in a poly household.

I do remember when I first heard about polygamy as a young woman in my 20's & thinking how much sense that made. And that I wanted to live in a home like that. I didn't see the possibility of polyamory at that point, but I was very attracted to a relationship that included many women all in a relationship with one man & each other, all taking on the responsibilities of running a household & raising children together. There were the hippie communes as my idealistic models. For the most part, those didn't last long, once the pot-smoking hippies discovered what hard work it was to actually maintain such a thing. But still, what a great concept that was!!

For one thing, I've always loved women & hated the way that society has taught women to distrust each other. I've rarely felt jealousy & I've always been happy to share. And another advantage I could see was this: I like children from infants up to about 2. Then I want to give them away until they turn 13 & then I want them back. So I would visualize this poly community where I could have the infants & teenagers to raise & someone else would take the others.

My relationship with His Evilness & His lovely wife was about as close to heaven as I've experienced. I've been in mono relationships, open relationships & even tried a couple of other poly relationships, but nothing compares to what we had. Three people who deeply loved each other with no jealousy ever. If I can't find that again, which I think sometimes I won't because perhaps it only existed once in a lifetime for me, then I'd prefer not to try poly again.

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RE: The first time you heard - 9/7/2011 12:02:55 PM

xlongride

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I heard it in school but the first time I really heard it was when I was 29 I meet a married couple out and she was hunting for a new boyfriend. It took them about 20min to explain to me their lifestyle and I was in. That lasted for about 2yrs till I moved for a job.

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RE: The first time you heard - 9/7/2011 5:40:32 PM

Endivius

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I knew of polygamy like most from religeon. My grandparents are deeply religeous christians, and always tried to instill that kind of upbringing into me and my brothers. As I began to go through puberty, I never really felt comfortable with monogamy. In fact, all throughout my teens I was fairly promiscuous; I never really got into a serious relationship because of it. It seemed to be just normal to be able to be with I was attracted to. But a large part of that mentality was due to being young and horny. As I left the states and started to see the world I really got a wake up call on how varied people's beliefs and lifestyles were. When I finally came back to the states I felt that being tied down to only one person just didn't fit me. That is not to say that there might not be a "one", just that I have not found anyone who really made me feel as though she would be all that I ever wanted. With the current relationship I have now, I knew going in that it would not lead to a lasting relationship, and things progressed from there into what we have now. I didn't consider myself "poly" until I started exploring more about the way that I lived and felt. Largely, it was due to sites like CM and FL that helped me discover that I wasn't the only person that lived this way, and that I wasn't some kinda nut lol. In fact It wasn't until I started to learn more about what we were going into relationship wise that I came to classify our relationship as polyamorous. At first I just considered us swingers, but as we became closer; as friends and lovers, I started to think we were more poly than swingers, since we're only interested in eachother. I'm still new after two years of this, I find I've only touched the cusp of what it really means to be poly. I would say I've learned more talking to people here on the forums and in mail or chat than any of the books we've read.

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RE: The first time you heard - 9/17/2011 10:06:42 AM

MHAP

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I was in my 20's , A very nice Dom. took me in and she taught me how to play, and still be respectful of woman. She help me shed some of my more ridged ideas about loving just 1 person, and that loving another doesn't need to negate my love for my partner.

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RE: The first time you heard - 9/17/2011 11:33:45 AM

lelloy

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My first boyfriend (around when I started college) was dating 3 other girls before he met me. I was a little leery of the concept and skeptical that he had the time for another, much less the ones he had. So I researched the concept and I found out about poly...and basically I ended up introducing the vocabulary to the rest of the group and in the process gained my first girlfriend. The time I was with them was short lived but rather enlightening and I've embraced the concept. This of course was polyAMORY, I was aware of Polygamy long before from a purely academic perspective.

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Post #: 34