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RE: My submissive has left me for another Dom. - 6/12/2011 3:30:23 AM

ZeroTolerance44

Posts: 17
Joined: 5/23/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: magdalaina

I really see this from the vanilla side. I know about being deserted emotionally while there is still a warm body in the home. He never heard me even when I told him my problems with the relationship in front of a counselor. I have lived that for years and now am trying to move on.
Wish this hadn't happened to you.

I wish it hadn`t happened too. I feel that if we had gone to some couples counselling sessions it would have been totally avoidable.

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We can all fly as High as the Dreams we dare to live...unless we are a Chicken....!

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Post #: 41

RE: My submissive has left me for another Dom. - 6/12/2011 3:32:05 AM

Charnegui

Posts: 1352
Joined: 5/1/2011
From: Puzzled
Status: offline

Appearantly she did not have the courage to get hold of your attention, or she did not have the patience.
Or your own affairs/businesses got in the way of your attention for/to her.
I know when my Man is frustrated by his own problems he lacks the attention for me. My goal is to get it back. I sometimes do it over internet and I sometimes do it otherwise.

We're on and off for a year now. We cannot be with or without eachother.

And yes... I realise and know I'm his. But it won't keep ME from heartaches.
And I think, he feels the same.

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Post #: 42

RE: My submissive has left me for another Dom. - 6/12/2011 3:45:12 AM

ZeroTolerance44

Posts: 17
Joined: 5/23/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SorceressJ

Can I just say, how lovely it is to see someone responding to the advice and other messages he's been given in such a resoundingly positive manner. We don't get that a lot around here, so it's worth remarking on when we do. My felicitations and very best wishes for the happiness of the OP. Namaste!

Thank you.

I am trying to move on in a positive way but the pain is still there at times. Whatever happens in the future between me and her, I have learned a lot from this, both about myself and about what not to do in a relationship. A bit of self discovery can only be a good thing.

A quote I like...`We can all fly as high as the dreams we dare to live....unless we are a chicken`....! Edward Monkton.

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Post #: 43

RE: My submissive has left me for another Dom. - 6/12/2011 7:56:03 AM

Iamsemisweet

Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline

The reason you moved in together was to get to know each other. Once you two did get to know each other, the relationship failed. So now you know.
Take good care of yourself, eat healthy, exercise, and take some time to heal. You are injured emotionally, and you need to heal just as if you had a physical injury. Don't rush into a new relationship. Have a doctor prescribe antidepressants if you are really feeling bad. And this too shall pass.

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

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Post #: 44

RE: My submissive has left me for another Dom. - 6/12/2011 7:57:07 AM

Iamsemisweet

Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline

The path to love is never smooth.

< Message edited by Iamsemisweet -- 6/12/2011 8:01:23 AM >

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

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Post #: 45

RE: My submissive has left me for another Dom. - 6/12/2011 8:10:49 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

True, but then again, some of us eschew the path in hopes of finding it in other adventures...

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Post #: 46

RE: My submissive has left me for another Dom. - 6/12/2011 8:11:27 AM

Kana

Posts: 6674
Joined: 10/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

True, but then again, some of us eschew the path in hopes of finding it in other adventures...

What's a path?

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

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Post #: 47

RE: My submissive has left me for another Dom. - 6/12/2011 8:13:44 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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A relationship ending is never "nice" because usually only one person falls out of love or lust, so what others have said, the whole D/s angle has nothing to do with it, if you don't believe it, ask yourself if you fell in love with a person who happens to be a submissive or just with a submissive...

I really do not know what happened within the relationship, I don't know you or the woman you were involved with, but if I have to speculate, depression most likely will have something to do with it, quite a lot of "relationship hoppers" male and female use the thrill and the adrenaline from new relationships to mask the depression, could that have been what happened with her?
I'm not submissive, but I would be very very depressed if I would be financially dependent on another person and I guess it would influence my sex life and libido quite dramatically.

However, I wish you all the best, take all the time in the world you need to recover and don't rush into the next relationship, try to find out what went wrong and what the signs were and use it to learn from it, then at least all the heartbreak and the pain wasn't wasted.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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Post #: 48

RE: My submissive has left me for another Dom. - 6/12/2011 8:30:54 AM

aromanholiday

Posts: 307
Joined: 4/12/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

True, but then again, some of us eschew the path in hopes of finding it in other adventures...

What's a path?

It's a person.

_____________________________

"Isn't it odd how we misunderstand the hidden unity of kindness and cruelty?"

My profile is not turned off. It is broken and I am too lazy to make a new one.

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Post #: 49

RE: My submissive has left me for another Dom. - 6/12/2011 8:40:59 AM

Kana

Posts: 6674
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: aromanholiday

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

True, but then again, some of us eschew the path in hopes of finding it in other adventures...

What's a path?

It's a person.

Ahhh, perks up, grin, something to walk on then?

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

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Post #: 50

RE: My submissive has left me for another Dom. - 6/12/2011 8:48:59 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

If one day her `new` relationship goes sour I would have her back but it will be on MY terms and she will have to regain my trust. I just wish she had talked to me about her doubts before she went off. I know she has lied and deceived me but she was my world for 4 years and apparently I hers, so it would be wrong not to at least try to salvage that.

I think it's quite likely her new relationship will sour and she will come crawling back. Good to have a plan for when that happens. However, I believe that once a liar and a sneak, always a liar and a sneak - BEWARE!

You seem like a very nice guy - best of luck to you.

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Post #: 51

RE: My submissive has left me for another Dom. - 6/12/2011 10:11:44 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ZeroTolerance44

Now...my question is..... Is she running into his arms purely for the D/s that was lacking at home with me, or is it more widespread than that?

You can't see it now but you are one lucky man. You are better off without this woman, she left you because a new relationship has lots of promise and doesn't have the ugly reality which requires actual work. The dom did as many do on these forums, filled her full of fluff of what "real/true/twue" dominant/masters/whatever do and she bought it because fantasy is more real to her than real life. Its a common issue.

You want a great woman in your life? Throw your shoulders back, get a job you love, create a life that makes you happy and that woman will either find you or when you find her, she will recognize a catch and viola, you will have a woman who loves you for who you truly are, not a fantasy, not a dream, but a real man, imperfect but genuine.

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Post #: 52

RE: My submissive has left me for another Dom. - 6/12/2011 10:40:57 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

bingo on that whole post but especially the second paragraph.

By the way Michael, I think "perverted sadist" is a great title for you. Out of everyone I know, you're the guy that could pull 3 random words out of a hat and spin an incredibly perverted story out of them right off the top of your head. You're like some unholy union between an improv comedian and .... well... a perverted sadist.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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Post #: 53

RE: My submissive has left me for another Dom. - 6/12/2011 10:44:28 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

bingo on that whole post but especially the second paragraph.

By the way Michael, I think "perverted sadist" is a great title for you. Out of everyone I know, you're the guy that could pull 3 random words out of a hat and spin an incredibly perverted story out of them right off the top of your head. You're like some unholy union between an improv comedian and .... well... a perverted sadist.

Jeff, and since I am Merc's unofficial official photographer, you just became my unofficial official tag line writer!

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Post #: 54

RE: My submissive has left me for another Dom. - 6/30/2011 7:49:42 AM

subslutforMe

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/22/2011
Status: offline

I have had no contact for 4 or 5 weeks now, apart from one phone call when I called her to ask what was happening with some concert tickets I had bought for her, we were texting the arrangements just before this call.

She has just got back from seeing `him` and was there for 4 weeks. It was my birthday while she was away and during this time I have heard nothing from her since that phone call. She has had no internet access while she has been away but I think she has been trying to text me as I speak to her mother and the and the week her mother said that my ex has sent me messages....whether this was about the concert arrangements or something else I don`t know as I have not received any. I have had texts from my friends and family so it is not my phone, I think it is hers that is playing up.

Last night I got the following email message that I have not replied to yet.......

Hey you,

How are you?

Did you get any of my text messages....?

If you didn't here is a Happy belated Birthday.

I got back last night. Spend this morning at the job center.

Anna

I don`t know how to respond to this...?

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

If one day her `new` relationship goes sour I would have her back but it will be on MY terms and she will have to regain my trust. I just wish she had talked to me about her doubts before she went off. I know she has lied and deceived me but she was my world for 4 years and apparently I hers, so it would be wrong not to at least try to salvage that.

I think it's quite likely her new relationship will sour and she will come crawling back. Good to have a plan for when that happens. However, I believe that once a liar and a sneak, always a liar and a sneak - BEWARE!

You seem like a very nice guy - best of luck to you.

(in reply to kalikshama)

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Post #: 55

RE: My submissive has left me for another Dom. - 6/30/2011 7:54:41 AM

subslutforMe

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/22/2011
Status: offline

Sorry....this was meant to come from me, I used the wrong profile to send so am dong it from the right one, sorry for any confusion....!

I have had no contact from her for 4 or 5 weeks now, apart from one phone call when I called her to ask what was happening with some concert tickets I had bought for her, we were texting the arrangements just before this call.

She has just got back from seeing `him` and was there for 4 weeks. It was my birthday while she was away and during this time I have heard nothing from her since that phone call. She has had no internet access while she has been away but I think she has been trying to text me as I speak to her mother and the and the week her mother said that my ex has sent me messages....whether this was about the concert arrangements or something else I don`t know as I have not received any. I have had texts from my friends and family so it is not my phone, I think it is hers that is playing up.

Last night I got the following email message that I have not replied to yet.......

Hey you,

How are you?

Did you get any of my text messages....?

If you didn't here is a Happy belated Birthday.

I got back last night. Spend this morning at the job center.

Anna

I don`t know how to respond to this...?

quote:

ORIGINAL: subslutforMe

I have had no contact for 4 or 5 weeks now, apart from one phone call when I called her to ask what was happening with some concert tickets I had bought for her, we were texting the arrangements just before this call.

She has just got back from seeing `him` and was there for 4 weeks. It was my birthday while she was away and during this time I have heard nothing from her since that phone call. She has had no internet access while she has been away but I think she has been trying to text me as I speak to her mother and the and the week her mother said that my ex has sent me messages....whether this was about the concert arrangements or something else I don`t know as I have not received any. I have had texts from my friends and family so it is not my phone, I think it is hers that is playing up.

Last night I got the following email message that I have not replied to yet.......

Hey you,

How are you?

Did you get any of my text messages....?

If you didn't here is a Happy belated Birthday.

I got back last night. Spend this morning at the job center.

Anna

I don`t know how to respond to this...?

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

If one day her `new` relationship goes sour I would have her back but it will be on MY terms and she will have to regain my trust. I just wish she had talked to me about her doubts before she went off. I know she has lied and deceived me but she was my world for 4 years and apparently I hers, so it would be wrong not to at least try to salvage that.

I think it's quite likely her new relationship will sour and she will come crawling back. Good to have a plan for when that happens. However, I believe that once a liar and a sneak, always a liar and a sneak - BEWARE!

You seem like a very nice guy - best of luck to you.

(in reply to subslutforMe)

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Post #: 56

RE: My submissive has left me for another Dom. - 6/30/2011 8:17:15 AM

ZeroTolerance44

Posts: 17
Joined: 5/23/2011
Status: offline

Right........I have it worked out now....this is where the last 2 posts were meant to come from, sorry all....!!

Sorry....this was meant to come from me, I used the wrong profile to send so am dong it from the right one, sorry for any confusion....!

I have had no contact from her for 4 or 5 weeks now, apart from one phone call when I called her to ask what was happening with some concert tickets I had bought for her, we were texting the arrangements just before this call.

She has just got back from seeing `him` and was there for 4 weeks. It was my birthday while she was away and during this time I have heard nothing from her since that phone call. She has had no internet access while she has been away but I think she has been trying to text me as I speak to her mother and the and the week her mother said that my ex has sent me messages....whether this was about the concert arrangements or something else I don`t know as I have not received any. I have had texts from my friends and family so it is not my phone, I think it is hers that is playing up.

Last night I got the following email message that I have not replied to yet.......

Hey you,

How are you?

Did you get any of my text messages....?

If you didn't here is a Happy belated Birthday.

I got back last night. Spend this morning at the job center.

Anna

I don`t know how to respond to this...?

quote:

Sorry....this was meant to come from me, I used the wrong profile to send so am dong it from the right one, sorry for any confusion....!

I have had no contact from her for 4 or 5 weeks now, apart from one phone call when I called her to ask what was happening with some concert tickets I had bought for her, we were texting the arrangements just before this call.

She has just got back from seeing `him` and was there for 4 weeks. It was my birthday while she was away and during this time I have heard nothing from her since that phone call. She has had no internet access while she has been away but I think she has been trying to text me as I speak to her mother and the and the week her mother said that my ex has sent me messages....whether this was about the concert arrangements or something else I don`t know as I have not received any. I have had texts from my friends and family so it is not my phone, I think it is hers that is playing up.

Last night I got the following email message that I have not replied to yet.......

Hey you,

How are you?

Did you get any of my text messages....?

If you didn't here is a Happy belated Birthday.

I got back last night. Spend this morning at the job center.

Anna

I don`t know how to respond to this...?

_____________________________

We can all fly as High as the Dreams we dare to live...unless we are a Chicken....!

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Post #: 57

RE: My submissive has left me for another Dom. - 6/30/2011 10:13:58 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

You don't respond AT ALL, sorry but if her mother got texts, if you got texts, then the "strangely enough they didn't get through to you" option is out. I guess it didn't work out with the new guy...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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Post #: 58

RE: My submissive has left me for another Dom. - 6/30/2011 11:37:20 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

what LadyC said....

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Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Post #: 59

RE: My submissive has left me for another Dom. - 6/30/2011 11:43:32 AM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

To the OP. Your SN is "Zero tolerance"

I think that is what you need to practice with the ex.

You're better off without a sneak like that.

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Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

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Post #: 60