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Introspection on Poly


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Introspection on Poly - 6/26/2011 5:23:48 PM   
FireMiko


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/20/2011
Status: offline 		Greetings everyone I am new to CM and have just recently decided to post in the forum. Well what better way to make my first post then in the Poly forum.....

Poly is a lifestyle that seems to evoke a great many debates and I've noticed that for most people their main issue with poly is dealing with jealousy.

Well for once, this isn't a thread about jealousy. This is a introspective thread about why I think Poly is sort of strange and wouldn't work. (Remember this is just my opinion and my thoughts and questions about Poly, I am not bashing the lifestyle or it's participants, I'm just a bit confused about it.)

It is my opinion that the problems of Poly have very little to do with jealousy, and more to do with the fact that romantic, sexual love is supposed to be the most sacred bond of love, a love where two people merge into one whole person and where they are the most important person in the other's life..... How then can Poly work in such a context of a relationship, how can true intimacy develop if it is based on that really deep soul consuming concept.

Now I know most Poly people have the argument, that "Parents can love more than one child and friends can love more than one friend, so us humans don't have a finite capacity of love." That is a very good argument, however here is where the argument fails, which is my main confusion about Poly..... How could that argument work if we have been told time and time again that love for our children and friends is a very different type of love than the love between lovers?

I know I was told this when I was confused why my parents didn't have more than one spouse but they kept on telling me they could have as many children as they want (I was 5 years old at the time) They proceeded to tell me that this was because the love between family and friends are a different type of love than than the love between partners. This isn't just what my parents have told me, it is what society in and of itself tells everyone. Then as I got older and started reading up more about the concept of love, I found the reason why one can love as many children and friends at the same time, is because those relationships are based on just being platonic. And there is no deep touching or trying to merge the bodies into one. It is strictly a love that always tries to keep the two beings separate and never crosses a line into intimacy.

With that said then, I have a question for you all.... Since Poly people believe that there is an infinite amount of love for sexual partners, like there is for someone's children and friends, does that mean that Poly people don't believe that Romantic love is the strongest love bond of all?? Are they cynical and believe that all love bonds are the same and that neither one is stronger than the other. There is a certain standard in our society that places romantic/sexual love as the strongest bond anyone can share with another. But perhaps Poly people are cynical about such a bond existing and are far more pragmatic about society and the structures of humans and nature.

Sorry to have rambled on my first post, but this is genuininely a confusing thing to me about Poly and I would like to hear everyone's thoughts on it and what they believe. If being Poly means that they admit that they don't believe that romantic love is the strongest bond there is and that they have a more realistic view on love. Honestly I'm surprised topics like these don't pop up more on Poly forums. I would think this would be the biggest issue for Poly people to confront and not issues of jealousy (which of course happen in other types of relationships but are tolerated there by society)
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Introspection on Poly - 6/26/2011 6:17:02 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 6903
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FireMiko
It is my opinion that the problems of Poly have very little to do with jealousy, and more to do with the fact that romantic, sexual love is supposed to be the most sacred bond of love, a love where two people merge into one whole person and where they are the most important person in the other's life..... How then can Poly work in such a context of a relationship, how can true intimacy develop if it is based on that really deep soul consuming concept.


There are three logical fallacies in this paragraph alone.  First, the ideas that you're presenting are not "facts."  They may be what you were raised to believe or what you came to believe based on your own experiences, but they are not facts. 
 
Second, the merging into one person is based on the Platonic ideal of soulmates.  It's pretty and romantic, but highly unrealistic.  For one thing, I don't need another person to "complete" me.  I'm perfectly capable of being a complete person all by myself, thank you very much.  When I look for partners, I look for people who can complement me and each other.  For another, it's highly unrealistic to expect my romantic partner to fulfill all of my emotional and sexual needs.  That's a lot of pressure to put on one person and it isn't fair of me to do so.
 
Third, wherever did you get the idea that a romantic partner is supposed to be the most important person in his/her partner's life?  Any parent knows that's a load of bollocks.  My children are just as important to me as my husband.  For that matter, my parents are as important as my husband.  I'm confident that my husband would answer the same way about me. 
 
So your entire case is based on multiple flawed assumptions and falls apart forthwith.

quote:

How could that argument work if we have been told time and time again that love for our children and friends is a very different type of love than the love between lovers?


You've neglected to account for those people who have multiple lovers throughout their lives, including, but not limited to multiple spouses.  I acknowledge that I am able to love more than one person in the capacity of a lover and have done so.  Neither of the boys I loved in highschool became my husband and my ex-husband is not the man to whom I'm currently married.  Between highschool and my current marriage, I loved quite a few people.  Are you saying I didn't really love them?  If you are, then I can tell you you're full of crap.

And there's the rub.  I sincerely doubt you'll find many people who married the first person with whom they fell in love and stayed married to that person until their dying day.  Most of us have several romantic partners over the course of our lives.  The difference with polyamory is that I don't feel the need to choose between lovers or to leave one lover when another comes along.  I can love all of them and it's not a problem as long as everyone agrees and everyone gets his/her needs met. 

quote:

I found the reason why one can love as many children and friends at the same time, is because those relationships are based on just being platonic. And there is no deep touching or trying to merge the bodies into one. It is strictly a love that always tries to keep the two beings separate and never crosses a line into intimacy.


I call bullshit.  I can tell you for a fact that my best friend and I love each other and we have a deep, emotionally intimate connection.  We say "I love you" every time we talk.  We don't have a sexually intimate relationship, but polyamory doesn't require that sex be part of the bond. 

quote:

Since Poly people believe that there is an infinite amount of love for sexual partners, like there is for someone's children and friends, does that mean that Poly people don't believe that Romantic love is the strongest love bond of all?? Are they cynical and believe that all love bonds are the same and that neither one is stronger than the other.


I believe that LOVE is a sacred bond.  It can be shared on multiple levels with a wide variety of people.  Although they aren't the same, none of the types of love is better or stronger than another.  I could no more choose one of my children over my husband than I could choose my husband over my parents.  Love just doesn't work like that for me.  I think it takes a cynical and small-minded person to think that one type of love is stronger than the others.

quote:

There is a certain standard in our society that places romantic/sexual love as the strongest bond anyone can share with another.


Just because society has brainwashed you doesn't mean you have to stay brainwashed.  I choose to live according to what is best for me and my family, including my lovers, rather than base my existence on the dictates of society's slave mentality.

quote:

Sorry to have rambled on my first post, but this is genuininely a confusing thing to me about Poly and I would like to hear everyone's thoughts on it and what they believe. If being Poly means that they admit that they don't believe that romantic love is the strongest bond there is and that they have a more realistic view on love.


I recommend you read Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino.  You'll learn a lot.

quote:

Honestly I'm surprised topics like these don't pop up more on Poly forums.


Since polyfolk have already done away with the presupposition that monogamy = "normal/better/the one true way", there isn't a lot of point to rehashing the debate amongst ourselves.  It's only when those who are ignorant come along to ask questions and/or make prejudicial remarks that we end up delving into it.

quote:

 I would think this would be the biggest issue for Poly people to confront and not issues of jealousy (which of course happen in other types of relationships but are tolerated there by society)


Therein lies the answer to your question.  Polyfolk have far less tolerance for jealousy, yet many people aren't taught how to handle it in a constructive fashion.  Coping with jealousy is usually the thing newcomers need to learn first and fastest.  Those of us who have been practicing polyamory for awhile have usually learned how to manage it in our own relationships.  The veterans don't start threads about how to handle jealousy nearly as often as newbies.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
Ninja Queen
Resident Caelestis Cruento
30 Fluffy Points
Team Troll
Charter Member: VAA Posse - Get Well Soon!
I'm not evil, I'm inventive.

(in reply to FireMiko)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Introspection on Poly - 6/26/2011 10:12:35 PM   
Hisprettybaby


Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		I second what she said.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Introspection on Poly - 6/26/2011 10:25:18 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 3999
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline 		Hm, yep... Sylvere actually covered it pretty damn well there. :)

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(in reply to Hisprettybaby)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Introspection on Poly - 6/27/2011 8:38:30 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 6464
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FireMiko

Greetings everyone I am new to CM and have just recently decided to post in the forum. Well what better way to make my first post then in the Poly forum.....


welcome to the forums....

quote:


Poly is a lifestyle that seems to evoke a great many debates and I've noticed that for most people their main issue with poly is dealing with jealousy.


Jealousy is only a symptom to a underlining problem. It is not the problem itself. People can treat the symptom but that is not a cure to the issues.

quote:


Well for once, this isn't a thread about jealousy. This is a introspective thread about why I think Poly is sort of strange and wouldn't work. (Remember this is just my opinion and my thoughts and questions about Poly, I am not bashing the lifestyle or it's participants, I'm just a bit confused about it.)


Wouldn't work for who? I have been living a poly family with Alandra and Kyra for over 6 years now and their has never been Jealousy. I would seem to me that your opinions are based on at a minimum very limited experience and information. You might want to have a deeper knowledged base before you make silly judgements that can't validated.

quote:


It is my opinion that the problems of Poly have very little to do with jealousy, and more to do with the fact that romantic, sexual love is supposed to be the most sacred bond of love, a love where two people merge into one whole person and where they are the most important person in the other's life..... How then can Poly work in such a context of a relationship, how can true intimacy develop if it is based on that really deep soul consuming concept.


and who told you that romantic, sexual love is suppose to be the most sacred bond of love. What you state is a belief structure that is neither right or wrong. It's a belief from which people will make decision consistent with that belief. For myself, I don't have the belief that you speak of. My girls and I are independent beings that are complete in out own right. However, it's the union of us three that create a new entity that we identify as bigger and more important than us as individuals. We are able to make this commitment to the whole because the whole feeds the individual.

quote:


Now I know most Poly people have the argument, that "Parents can love more than one child and friends can love more than one friend, so us humans don't have a finite capacity of love." That is a very good argument, however here is where the argument fails, which is my main confusion about Poly..... How could that argument work if we have been told time and time again that love for our children and friends is a very different type of love than the love between lovers?


I have four children. I have two slaves that are the love of my life. They are more than just 'friends'. Love is indeed infinite and it is not quantifable as you would like to make it. Can you make a distinction between the love of a child and a lover. Do not confuse the distinction with what do with one or the other. The actions are reflective of the love that exists not how they are different. I love my children and I love my slaves. That love comes from me... all of me... I am but the same person and I will show that love differently because each requires it for they are different individuals. I show my love for each of my children in many different ways as I do for my slaves. The fact of the matter the arguement still stands because one doesn't love each of their children in exactly the same way but yet all that love comes from the same tree.


quote:


I know I was told this when I was confused why my parents didn't have more than one spouse but they kept on telling me they could have as many children as they want (I was 5 years old at the time) They proceeded to tell me that this was because the love between family and friends are a different type of love than than the love between partners. This isn't just what my parents have told me, it is what society in and of itself tells everyone. Then as I got older and started reading up more about the concept of love, I found the reason why one can love as many children and friends at the same time, is because those relationships are based on just being platonic. And there is no deep touching or trying to merge the bodies into one. It is strictly a love that always tries to keep the two beings separate and never crosses a line into intimacy.


Do you believe everything you are told? I don't! This is very much a belief and not based on any fact. Many choose to align themself with this belief.. but numbers do not equate to right or wrong for that matter. Physical intimacy doesn't change the love unless that is one's belief.

quote:


With that said then, I have a question for you all.... Since Poly people believe that there is an infinite amount of love for sexual partners, like there is for someone's children and friends, does that mean that Poly people don't believe that Romantic love is the strongest love bond of all?? Are they cynical and believe that all love bonds are the same and that neither one is stronger than the other. There is a certain standard in our society that places romantic/sexual love as the strongest bond anyone can share with another. But perhaps Poly people are cynical about such a bond existing and are far more pragmatic about society and the structures of humans and nature.


First of all.. I can't speak for what poly folk believe or not. I do know that love can't be quatified! How can you measure the love a parent has for a child compared to the love between two lovers. The strength of the bond is not determined by the type of relationship between the individuals involved but by the individuals themselves. Some bonds between a parent and child can never be shattered but on occassion it has occurred. What I find most amusing with your claim.. I have not seen to many children divorcing or becoming divided from their parents or vice vrs. But yet those many upon many boned individuals with romantic love are often becoming divorced or estranged with one another. How amusing to claim such a strong bond but yet it is so fragile and weak.

There is no bond the same and no style that has the monopoly on the strength of that bond. It is and always will be an individual thing.

quote:


Sorry to have rambled on my first post, but this is genuininely a confusing thing to me about Poly and I would like to hear everyone's thoughts on it and what they believe. If being Poly means that they admit that they don't believe that romantic love is the strongest bond there is and that they have a more realistic view on love. Honestly I'm surprised topics like these don't pop up more on Poly forums. I would think this would be the biggest issue for Poly people to confront and not issues of jealousy (which of course happen in other types of relationships but are tolerated there by society)


your 19.. I suspect your experiences with love to highly limited and as such your introspective considerations are going to be equally limited.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

"Respect.... It is the ability to see people as they are, to be aware of their unique individuality" Eric Fromm

(in reply to FireMiko)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Introspection on Poly - 6/27/2011 6:05:41 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 20705
Joined: 2/21/2007
Status: offline 		Syl did an excellent job here and so did KoM.  Here's another view from someone who sees their poly life in another way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FireMiko

Greetings everyone I am new to CM and have just recently decided to post in the forum. Well what better way to make my first post then in the Poly forum.....

Poly is a lifestyle that seems to evoke a great many debates and I've noticed that for most people their main issue with poly is dealing with jealousy.

I'd agree with you if you said that the main issue for poly *failing* was about jealousy.  You'd be surprised how little jealousy comes up in long term, successful poly families.

quote:

Well for once, this isn't a thread about jealousy. This is a introspective thread about why I think Poly is sort of strange and wouldn't work. (Remember this is just my opinion and my thoughts and questions about Poly, I am not bashing the lifestyle or it's participants, I'm just a bit confused about it.)

I'm kind of glad of that.  I think those of us who have been doing poly for years get frustrated from time to time from those who haven't managed to make it work coming here to tell us it's impossible.

quote:

It is my opinion that the problems of Poly have very little to do with jealousy, and more to do with the fact that romantic, sexual love is supposed to be the most sacred bond of love, a love where two people merge into one whole person and where they are the most important person in the other's life..... How then can Poly work in such a context of a relationship, how can true intimacy develop if it is based on that really deep soul consuming concept.

Well, there's your first problem.  I can promise you that romantic love isn't the deepest bond in My life.  There isn't a man on this planet who would ever be more important to Me than My children. 

quote:

Now I know most Poly people have the argument, that "Parents can love more than one child and friends can love more than one friend, so us humans don't have a finite capacity of love." That is a very good argument, however here is where the argument fails, which is my main confusion about Poly..... How could that argument work if we have been told time and time again that love for our children and friends is a very different type of love than the love between lovers?

Who said that it is an absolute truth that all poly folks love all of their partners in exactly the same way?  Has it never occurred to you that there is a possibility that poly people might have different kinds of love for different people in their lives as well.  I don't love clip the same way that I love My husband and I love My husband in a different way that I love clip. 

quote:

I know I was told this when I was confused why my parents didn't have more than one spouse but they kept on telling me they could have as many children as they want (I was 5 years old at the time) They proceeded to tell me that this was because the love between family and friends are a different type of love than than the love between partners. This isn't just what my parents have told me, it is what society in and of itself tells everyone. Then as I got older and started reading up more about the concept of love, I found the reason why one can love as many children and friends at the same time, is because those relationships are based on just being platonic. And there is no deep touching or trying to merge the bodies into one. It is strictly a love that always tries to keep the two beings separate and never crosses a line into intimacy.

This sounds like you are basing your concept of the way that you love a person has everything to do with sex.  Is that true in your own life?  Have you loved everybody that you've ever had sex with in exactly the same way, with the same intensity?  Do you really think that all people having sex right now are "in love"?  Those answers aren't very realistic, are they?

quote:

With that said then, I have a question for you all.... Since Poly people believe that there is an infinite amount of love for sexual partners, like there is for someone's children and friends, does that mean that Poly people don't believe that Romantic love is the strongest love bond of all?? Are they cynical and believe that all love bonds are the same and that neither one is stronger than the other. There is a certain standard in our society that places romantic/sexual love as the strongest bond anyone can share with another. But perhaps Poly people are cynical about such a bond existing and are far more pragmatic about society and the structures of humans and nature.

No, I really don't believe that romantic love is the strongest bond of all.  I don't believe society thinks that either.  Go ask any parent.

quote:

Sorry to have rambled on my first post, but this is genuininely a confusing thing to me about Poly and I would like to hear everyone's thoughts on it and what they believe. If being Poly means that they admit that they don't believe that romantic love is the strongest bond there is and that they have a more realistic view on love. Honestly I'm surprised topics like these don't pop up more on Poly forums. I would think this would be the biggest issue for Poly people to confront and not issues of jealousy (which of course happen in other types of relationships but are tolerated there by society)

I don't have a problem admitting it at all.  There isn't a post on these boards that has ever said that I love the two people in My life in the same way.  Unfortunately, you have made the assumption that all poly people *must* romantically love all of their partners in exactly the same way.  Granted, some of them do, but I'm here to tell you that's not universal.


_____________________________

"Come to the edge, She said.
He said that he was afraid.
Come to the edge, She said.
He came. She pushed him,
And he flew . . ."


http://NE2010.net

Now running "Lady Pact's World".

(in reply to FireMiko)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Introspection on Poly - 6/27/2011 10:01:38 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		I'm not sure, but I think I qualify as living in a poly situation.

While Hanners has sex with a number of people, she only has a romantic connection with me. That seems to just be the way she is wired, she doesn't love easily. I am far more discriminating in who I have sex with of my own volition, I rarely do casual hook ups on my own. But, I have two girlfriends (S & C) with whom I have romantic relationships.

Granted my relationship with Hanners is my primary relationship and that it takes precedence over the others, but my love for my girlfriends is no less real for being less intense. My love for my girlfriends isn't of the same intensity either. I am much more deeply in love with S than I am with C <though that relationship is very new and is growing>. I describe it to myself as having a lover, a steady girlfriend, and seriously dating another girl.

Despite the different intensity of the emotion I feel for each of the women in my life, I love each of them. I concede that the loves are not at this point of equal intensity, but that does not invalidate any of them. The emotion is the same emotion, it is only a matter of degree.

They are all aware of each other, and are very fond of each other. S is pretty smitten with Hanners, and has expressed an interest in living with us at some point in the future.

I often have sex with them in various combinations, including all three of them at once. If you think that the feeling of physical intimacy between two people in love is intense and uplifting, just try imagine how it feels to be physically intimate with three people you love at the same time. It's transcendent.

I guess I am basically agreeing with your idea that romantic love is the most powerful form of love in as much as it overwhelms one. Where I disagree is with your idea that it must somehow be limited to a single person. I find that as my feelings deepen for C, my feelings for Hanners and S deepen as well.

My heart is like a hotel, it has many rooms and the more of them that are occupied the better.

(in reply to FireMiko)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Introspection on Poly - 6/27/2011 10:10:22 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 6903
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

My heart is like a hotel, it has many rooms and the more of them that are occupied the better.


I am so nominating this for Sunny Quote of the Day.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
Ninja Queen
Resident Caelestis Cruento
30 Fluffy Points
Team Troll
Charter Member: VAA Posse - Get Well Soon!
I'm not evil, I'm inventive.

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Introspection on Poly - 6/28/2011 5:56:03 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 16506
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

I describe it to myself as having a lover, a steady girlfriend, and seriously dating another girl.

I swear I had a date with you 20 years ago.


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¿me preguntas por que compro arroz y flores? compro arroz para vivir y flores para tener algo por lo que vivir.
~Confucio

Yes, I am a wonton hussy.

Head Hib Harem Hottie

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Introspection on Poly - 6/28/2011 5:59:36 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 16506
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
Sunny
Quote of the Day
goes to
HeatherMcLeather

for
My heart is like a hotel,
it has many rooms
and the more of them that are occupied
the better.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3741775/tm.htm


_____________________________

¿me preguntas por que compro arroz y flores? compro arroz para vivir y flores para tener algo por lo que vivir.
~Confucio

Yes, I am a wonton hussy.

Head Hib Harem Hottie

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Introspection on Poly - 6/28/2011 6:14:30 AM   
Kana


Posts: 3152
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Sunny
Quote of the Day
goes to
HeatherMcLeather

for
My heart is like a hotel,
it has many rooms
and the more of them that are occupied
the better.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3741775/tm.htm



Grins.
But it's not her heart we wanna occupy!


_____________________________

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HST

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Introspection on Poly - 7/3/2011 10:45:49 AM   
EmilyRocks


Posts: 357
Joined: 5/5/2011
Status: offline 		I don't know, I'd take any part of her I could get my hands on and count myself damned lucky!!

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Introspection on Poly - 7/3/2011 11:28:58 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2027
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		How much experience, first hand, have you had with poly relationships?


There are way too many kinds of poly relationships to get caught up in the narrow definitions that you have... and yes, I second everything else said by Syl and LP.. and KoM ...

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(in reply to FireMiko)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Introspection on Poly - 7/3/2011 12:31:59 PM   
analyticalmaster


Posts: 39
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Fire, first of all while I agree with most of the others who posted, I will note you are only 19, trust me, the person you are today will have little resemblance to who you will be in 20 or 30 years.  You will find very few things are truly black and white but rather are many shades of gray.  Poly is a difficult concept for a lot of people, but the reality is most people practice it, they just do it serially, or they do it by lying about it.  You will love a lot of different people in your life for different reasons. 

There are many reasons those of us who are poly, choose that as a life, some do it for sexual reasons, ie 2 may be two bisexual females (or males for that matter, remember all shades of gray) you may have people who have come together for many reasons and simply found it to their liking.  In my family, my girls are not, or should say were not sexual together, but we sleep together, live together and love together.  Mary and donna were closer than sisters, god help anyone who ever screwed around with either of them, hell really has no fury, like a slave defending her sister.  When mary first came to me, she didn't believe it would last, she was afraid of  her sister slaves relationship with me would not allow her to find her real place in our lives, 9 years later, mary's light died and she died, happy to the last.  A part of me died with her and part of donna did as well.  We will start over and eventually someone very special will join our lives again, because once you have know what it is to be happy, you dont give up on it easy.  The girls had a special relationship, they brought things to each other that I could never bring to them.  They each brought something special to my life, often in concert with one another.
Being poly is not about giving something up, it is about adding something special. 



(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Introspection on Poly - 7/19/2011 4:33:12 AM   
SuzeCheri


Posts: 483
Joined: 7/19/2011
From: Outside looking in
Status: offline
quote:

But, I have two girlfriends (S & C) with whom I have romantic relationships.


Hey! That's us!

She listed me first, she listed me first

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Introspection on Poly - 7/19/2011 5:37:28 AM   
orchid77


Posts: 122
Joined: 5/20/2011
Status: offline 		OP, to me polyamory often fails because there isn't enough communication and the courting process (if there is courting at all) is to brief. Thus not allowing enough time in getting to know the other person(s). The person coming into the relationship has to be given space and time to really understand themselves and the relationship they enter.

I am not big on polyamory but I am for polygamy.

(in reply to SuzeCheri)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Introspection on Poly - 7/19/2011 9:19:27 AM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 6903
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SuzeCheri

quote:

But, I have two girlfriends (S & C) with whom I have romantic relationships.


Hey! That's us!

She listed me first, she listed me first


Oh hell, you mean there's more of you guys?  I don't think this place can take any more young, hot, brainy lesbians.  Just sayin. 
 


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(in reply to SuzeCheri)
Profile   Post #: 17
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