Basic etiquette question.

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Basic etiquette question.

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Polyamorous Lifestyles >> Basic etiquette question.

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Basic etiquette question. - 6/26/2011 10:14:41 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 20304
Joined: 5/2/2008
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My sub and I like time with a local Master and his slave. But we can't stand his second girl.

I assume there's no polite way to invite the two over for dinner, and leave the PITA second girl out?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

Post #: 1

RE: Basic etiquette question. - 6/26/2011 10:25:49 PM

SpiritedRadiance

Posts: 1249
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline

Yes, talk to the Master about what it is that causes you to dislike girl number two.

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 2

RE: Basic etiquette question. - 6/26/2011 10:54:43 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 6903
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

Oy vey. That's a toughie. Is the second girl a live-in primary partner or a secondary partner who lives elsewhere? If she's a secondary partner, you might be able to extend an invitation to the primary couple and subtly emphasize that you're only inviting the two of them. Tread caredfully, however, If the other girl is another primary partner, then you're stuck.

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Post #: 3

RE: Basic etiquette question. - 6/26/2011 11:39:47 PM

LadyPact

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Joined: 2/21/2007
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If they attend social functions as a family, it may be assumed that all members of the family are included with any invitation. Unless we're talking about social situations with limited space, I usually interpret all invitations to include Myself, MP, and clip. I will say that an invitation that was extended to only two of us, I would probably turn down. We're a family for a reason.

_____________________________

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He said that he was afraid.
Come to the edge, She said.
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And he flew . . ."

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(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 4

RE: Basic etiquette question. - 6/27/2011 7:59:03 AM

0ldhen

Posts: 2218
Joined: 12/27/2010
From: Henhouse in Trolltopia, Harleyville USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

If they attend social functions as a family, it may be assumed that all members of the family are included with any invitation. Unless we're talking about social situations with limited space, I usually interpret all invitations to include Myself, MP, and clip. I will say that an invitation that was extended to only two of us, I would probably turn down. We're a family for a reason.

Way back when.....My ol' man and I also had two live in female partners, and I agree with you LP, we considered any invitation to include the entire family unless it stated otherwise. Then chances were high that we simply did not attend.

In particular I remember my sisters wedding, we showed up as a family, the person in charge of seating had a royal fit, as only two spaces had been set for us. Now my invitation actually did cover the entire family, so he rearranged the tables to suit. LMAO.....then the poor guy had to repeat that performance over and over again, if I remember correctly, there were 7 other poly groups invited.

His own fault, if he had bothered to check the list before arranging the seating, he would have realized that some of the invites were issued to a "couple" that consisted of more than two. You know what they say about assume.

So DS, either talk to the D of the group to see if it is possible to only invite the pair you like or explain to him how you feel or find another couple to pal around with.

_____________________________

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(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 5

RE: Basic etiquette question. - 6/27/2011 8:11:46 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6389
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

in situations like this, i generally end up distancing myself from everyone involved, just because i don't want to be seen as trying to leave someone out or being an antagonist. people get together for their reasons, and if they're okay with her, and i'm not, then i simply go elsewhere or hang out with other people.

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to 0ldhen)

Post #: 6

RE: Basic etiquette question. - 6/27/2011 8:49:29 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 6464
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

My sub and I like time with a local Master and his slave. But we can't stand his second girl.

I assume there's no polite way to invite the two over for dinner, and leave the PITA second girl out?

I would personally be offended! and amused at the same time. Your arrogance would be dimissed as would be your friendship if you choose to do such a thing with me. It would be highly arrogant for you to think that I would accept such an invite. Since such an invite would imply that I would be choosing our bond of friendship over the bond I have with the second girl.

Asked another way.. would you be accepting to an offer from the Master and this slave you like.. but only you. since they don't really enjoy your girl's company they have tolerated her for your benefit but they will not have her in thier home.

To be honest, I am surprized by your question! This must be troubling you for some other reasons that go beyond what you are saying here.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

"Respect.... It is the ability to see people as they are, to be aware of their unique individuality" Eric Fromm

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 7

RE: Basic etiquette question. - 6/27/2011 9:47:59 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 20304
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Yeah, I kinda expected as much. Okay, the friendship will be limited to saying hello at events. Thanks to all for their insights.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 8

RE: Basic etiquette question. - 6/27/2011 10:47:25 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 23773
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

So basically, you are going to allowing one annoying twit, and your inability to deal with the annoying twit, to ruin a friendship and a good time?

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 9

RE: Basic etiquette question. - 6/27/2011 12:10:38 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 6464
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

So basically, you are going to allowing one annoying twit, and your inability to deal with the annoying twit, to ruin a friendship and a good time?

I know LaT... Very disheartening... You wouldn't believe the number of supper invites I don't get because of the little sluts that cling to me all the time. I even suspect more would be willing to give me blow jobs if it wasn't for my two girls. Very disheartening indeed!

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 6/27/2011 12:11:11 PM >

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

"Respect.... It is the ability to see people as they are, to be aware of their unique individuality" Eric Fromm

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 10

RE: Basic etiquette question. - 6/27/2011 12:14:15 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 6464
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

in situations like this, i generally end up distancing myself from everyone involved, just because i don't want to be seen as trying to leave someone out or being an antagonist. people get together for their reasons, and if they're okay with her, and i'm not, then i simply go elsewhere or hang out with other people.

Now I am beginning to understand why you didnt return my sexual advances.... Here I thought it was me! I should of known better... My girls did it to me again!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

"Respect.... It is the ability to see people as they are, to be aware of their unique individuality" Eric Fromm

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 11

RE: Basic etiquette question. - 6/27/2011 12:25:23 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 23773
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

KoM........I just had a vision of you doing a Scarlet O-Hara impersonation.

"What eva shall ai dewwwww!?!"

With dramatic back of hand to forehead flourish.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 12

RE: Basic etiquette question. - 6/27/2011 2:05:20 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 6464
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

KoM........I just had a vision of you doing a Scarlet O-Hara impersonation.

"What eva shall ai dewwwww!?!"

With dramatic back of hand to forehead flourish.

God I hope the girls don't see this... Or I will never hear the end of it!

I just might have to forbid their participation on this thread.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

"Respect.... It is the ability to see people as they are, to be aware of their unique individuality" Eric Fromm

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 13

RE: Basic etiquette question. - 6/27/2011 2:54:50 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 23773
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Spoil sport.

A little bit of photo shop and you too could be Scarlet!

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 6/27/2011 2:57:17 PM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 14

RE: Basic etiquette question. - 6/27/2011 3:42:17 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 6464
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

well... I do have a hot ass!!!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

"Respect.... It is the ability to see people as they are, to be aware of their unique individuality" Eric Fromm

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 15

RE: Basic etiquette question. - 6/27/2011 4:36:52 PM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6389
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

wow this thread went somewhere wacky!
haha ^_^

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 16

RE: Basic etiquette question. - 6/27/2011 10:12:26 PM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline

Why not proceed as you would with a vanilla couple where you are buddies with the husband, but don't like the wife. You get together with your buddy more often <golf, football games, shared hobbies, etc.>, and when you do something with them as a couple you submerge your dislike of his wife out of respect for your friend.

We keep reading how a relationship is basically the same, kinky or vanilla, so why not the interactions between relationships?

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 17

RE: Basic etiquette question. - 6/28/2011 5:54:15 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 16506
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Heather - I can see that if it's ONE on ONE... but two on two... seems hurtful in my eyes.

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~Confucio

Yes, I am a wonton hussy.

Head Hib Harem Hottie

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)

Post #: 18

RE: Basic etiquette question. - 6/28/2011 8:28:28 AM

HannahLynHeather

Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline

two fucking words for you:

ball & gag.

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i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 19

RE: Basic etiquette question. - 6/28/2011 2:32:11 PM

analyticalmaster

Posts: 39
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dark, I would be interested in understanding what exactly is it about the second girl that causes a problem, also the relationship is critical. Is the second girl actually a part of their family or is she more on the order of a play partner. If she is a part of the family, most families will take serious issue with the concept of leaving a partner out. Also the dynamic they share is important, maybe her Master knows she a pain in the ass, a brat. There is nothing wrong with talking to the other Master and telling them how you feel, also saying up front you will understand if they do not want to accept based on your feelings of this particular girl. Maybe he would appreciate an opportunity to bring the other girl up short and do some behavior modification. Maybe not, but I usually think most Dom's will behave well, even though I am often disappointed.

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

Post #: 20

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