Pain versus humiliation

Pain versus humiliation (Full Version)

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AFreeMan -> Pain versus humiliation (7/11/2011 5:24:24 AM)
Hi all! Which has a more profound effect upon you? Pain or humiliation? Which do you think is a more effective form of discipline? Just looking for thoughts and hoping to see where the thread leads, A Free Man

SerendipityWM -> RE: Pain versus humiliation (7/11/2011 5:36:43 AM)
I have a high pain threshold and I'm shy, so probably humiliation where I'm concerned. :/

Aileen1968 -> RE: Pain versus humiliation (7/11/2011 6:49:30 AM)
That's like trying to compare apples to oranges. One is physical. The other mental. Everyone will have a different answer as to which is more effective since it's dependent on the individual person. Now to answer the op... For me...pain has a more profound effect on me. I get very aroused from it. Humiliation only emphasizes my self esteem issues and the end result isn't positive. Discipline occurs in neither form. He uses words which are more effective than either pain or humiliation combined.

OsideGirl -> RE: Pain versus humiliation (7/11/2011 7:28:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AFreeMan Which do you think is a more effective form of discipline? Neither. For me the best form of discipline is telling I've done something wrong. Dealing with it and moving forward. We use your choices as fun, play time......

Asherscorp1 -> RE: Pain versus humiliation (7/11/2011 8:02:20 AM)
Humiliation does nothing but breed resentment in me. I don't enjoy it, don't see any need for it and find it extremely difficult to submit to. Happily, Master doesn't enjoy it much in and of itself and has never used it for punishment or to express disappointment in me. So for me pain is more effective.

IrishMist -> RE: Pain versus humiliation (7/11/2011 11:40:44 AM)
quote: Which has a more profound effect upon you? Pain or humiliation? Neither. I like pain so much that I actively seek it out. As for humiliation...one must first care about what others think of them to 'be humiliated' over something. I could care less about others and their thoughts of me, what I do, how I act, etc. To try and humiliate me would do nothing more than make that person look like an idiot. quote: Which do you think is a more effective form of discipline? Since neither would affect me to any degree, using them for discipline would do nothing. Of course, I don't, and have never, been in the kind of dynamic where 'discipline', the kind of which you are referring to, was used as a means of 'control'. For me, a simple request to follow orders was all that was ever needed simply because I knew what the consequences of rebellion would be.

leadership527 -> RE: Pain versus humiliation (7/11/2011 11:44:49 AM)
Which has a more profound effect upon you? Pain or humiliation? For Carol that would be "humiliation". For her, that profound effect would be profoundly bad. Which do you think is a more effective form of discipline? For Carol either would be extremely effective in the short term and very likely extremely ineffective in the bigger picture. It would be way simpler just to tell her how I want her behavior to change and let her do that. Carol's discipline, along with her strength and integrity come from within.

CeriseNin -> RE: Pain versus humiliation (7/11/2011 11:49:40 AM)
Neither. You did X. Don't do that again works best for me.

NuevaVida -> RE: Pain versus humiliation (7/11/2011 12:22:46 PM)
Neither, as far as discipline goes. But as far as activities that he enjoys with me, I'd say humiliation has the most profound effect, because it gets in my head and stabs my heart. Without being careful, the effects can be quite negative. With his care in this practice, it can melt me into a little clinging ball at his feet. Pain is pain - for me it's just physical. It is inflicted, dealt with, and goes away. Humiliation lingers.

DesFIP -> RE: Pain versus humiliation (7/11/2011 1:53:30 PM)
I have an extremely low pain tolerance and humiliation is destructive to me. Beyond that, if I had to be punished to agree to do what he wanted, that says to me there's something lacking in the relationship. And if I have problems with an order, I fully expect that he will sit down and discuss it with me. Some orders aren't thought through properly or he could have made a mistake. Being human, it has happened on occasion.

lthrpup -> RE: Pain versus humiliation (7/11/2011 4:11:14 PM)
Humiliation emphasizes a role I have adopted so it reinforces something already present in my mind, hence it is less shocking to the system than limit-stretching pain. For me, humiliation makes more sense as a part of training and demonstrating relative positions in a relationship. It is something to welcome, embrace and ride into subspace. Pain can serve those functions too, but is more of a challenge to endure so it makes a better punishment in my case.

fadedshadow -> RE: Pain versus humiliation (7/12/2011 12:29:55 AM)
i enjoy pain but not humiliation. i have enough difficulty with my self-confidence so i don't care for being humiliated

BitaTruble -> RE: Pain versus humiliation (7/12/2011 2:23:23 AM)
First, welcome to the forums. [:)] quote: ORIGINAL: AFreeMan Which has a more profound effect upon you? Pain or humiliation? Pain - for the places it can take me has a much more profound effect on me, but it's a good effect. Humiliation.. not so much because it's very hard to humiliate someone like me who likes damn near everything. quote: Which do you think is a more effective form of discipline? If by discipline you mean a retribution for a wrong-doing, probably pain. If I stub my toe, I'm more careful to watch where I put my feet for a few days. As a means of punishment.. something which fits my crime works best for me. Also, if I remember the punishment but not the reason for it.. that's very ineffective and not a very good way to change my behavior.

littleone35 -> RE: Pain versus humiliation (7/12/2011 10:39:56 AM)
I hate both of them. So if there is a profound efect it would be very bad. Matt's littleone

PainObjectForUse -> RE: Pain versus humiliation (7/12/2011 1:29:33 PM)
I think what works best when comes to discipline or anything for that matter is to really know the person. Know what buttons to push and when to push it. Keep the person always on his/her toes, taking a card out of your sleeve unexpectedly, always reserving a surprise for the right moment. Or, in my case, disappointment in the form of ignoring me, works well to keep me disciplined.

Palliata -> RE: Pain versus humiliation (7/12/2011 3:40:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl Neither. For me the best form of discipline is telling I've done something wrong. Dealing with it and moving forward. We use your choices as fun, play time...... Couldn't agree with this more. That said, even if you consider those things punishments, you still have to include the personality of the person in question. There's no way we can say that. For a masochist, pain is meaningless. For a humiliation fetishist, humiliation is meaningless. There is no general case.

freebounds -> RE: Pain versus humiliation (8/1/2011 9:08:30 PM)
Hi AFree, For me, a very specific form of humiliation is crazy hot and makes me feel loved. It has to do with facing my own shame for what is natural to me, and it hurts no one. Having to admit that in front of others makes me want to nearly die, but it also makes me feel healed. So, it's profound. For discipline, pain is definitely the way to go. Despite a high pain tolerance, it's the assertion of control and the knowledge of what I am expected to do that is effective. I'm curious. What is your answer to your own questions? free

Fetters4U -> RE: Pain versus humiliation (8/1/2011 9:26:06 PM)
I do not believe in using them as discipline. I prefer praise and mild disapproval. Pain and humiliation are best used for play.

nephandi -> RE: Pain versus humiliation (8/4/2011 8:26:46 AM)
Greetings Humiliation have a much greater effect in making me feel submissive than pain, however I tend to enjoy pain as a part of humiliation not just for it's own sake, accepting pain for the pleasure of someone else is a form of humiliation it itself. As for discipline I always found communication and talking about expectations, successes and failures to be much more effective than any form of punishment. I wish you well

phoenixmoonn13 -> RE: Pain versus humiliation (8/6/2011 10:32:03 AM)
humiliation for me is not good and elads me to bad places master also doenst like it or use it. pain i love and we do have funishments occasionally if i have doen something wrong and i cant get rid of the guilts then short sharp non exciting pain works. most effective is the good girl and a stroke of my hair or dont do x and me feeling his disapproval at somthing has the most profund effect

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