Collarchat.com

Create a
Free Account		 As the Collar Turns:
 Collarchat.com - BDSM Forum

Home  Login  Search 
Espanol  Deutsch  Francais  Italiano  Portugues 

RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Gorean Lifestyles >> RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 4 [5]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two - 11/7/2011 6:51:44 PM   
AnnaOfAramis


Posts: 509
Joined: 7/30/2008
Status: offline 		Greetings girls and Free,

I noticed a recurring theme among several posts about losing oneself completely to the point of ceasing to be who you are. It made me wonder though, why a man would want to master a woman only to lose what makes her, well her? I would guess that he wanted her precisely because of who she was. And I would think that mastering her successfully would involve making her more of who she is not less. Isn't that also part of the point of the books- to become what you truly are? I mean, if I have a houseplant and I attempt to take care of it and it withers and dies (I have, unfortunately, lots of experience in this area ) then I can hardly say I have mastered that plant. In fact, I have probably failed to understand the nature of that plant and what it needs to thrive to become the best specimen of that plant that it can be. I guess, I'm thinking that if a man sets out to master a girl and that girl's soul disappears through his fingers, then he hasn't really held on to that girl has he? I dunno... I think a man may want to hold onto the essence of the girl and not lose it.

Well wishes,
anna

_____________________________

“I refuse to be the leader. I want a man ... always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot."~Anaiis Nin

(in reply to starshineowned)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two - 11/8/2011 2:35:16 AM   
mons


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		hello AnnaofAramis

When a man Gorean or not wants to control his slave his woman whom ever it is, he want total
control! Nothing less will do, by doing this he has her 'under his thumb' what she wears, how is speaks!
But why was he attractive to her in the first place for, why did he pick her, only to change her life forever?
I have learn that mastering a girl can turn her mind inside out!  With the intentions of making her into his,
almost as if he pull her from his rib!  This is how close he wants her to minic him, she has not a thought
of her own!  Then why did he pick her, what part of her did he want to change, what part was not okay with him?
What part was not there for him to at least keep, was it her voice, her way of speaking, or it was something \
he felt needed changed and as soon as he had the chance!  A question from a interested non Gorean person!

Mons

(in reply to AnnaOfAramis)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two - 11/8/2011 5:20:43 AM   
xBullx


Posts: 3962
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		Some of you are simply clueless...

_____________________________

Live well,

Bull



I'm not an asshole; I'm simply resolute...

"A Republic, If You Can Keep It."

Caution: My humor is a bit skewed.

(in reply to mons)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two - 11/8/2011 10:16:42 AM   
Ishtarr


Posts: 1041
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AnnaOfAramis

It made me wonder though, why a man would want to master a woman only to lose what makes her, well her? I would guess that he wanted her precisely because of who she was.



I can think of quite a few reasons a man would want to make a woman into something she is not. Not all of them have good intentions, or her best interest in mind, but if it's reasons, not sound practices you're interested in, just take your pick there are plenty.

Most men looking for a slave girl/mastered woman/kajira/pussy/whatever look for a long time before they come across a girl even willing to talk to them seriously. Then, in most cases, it doesn't work out and it's back to looking some more. If they do finally come across a girl willing for whatever reason, to be their "whatever" I can see their being an intense motivation to not want to let her go, to the point that they may denial the reality of what she is, and set out to make her into what they want her to be instead, all just to be able to keep her.

There may also be the case of a man liking the essence of a girl, except one, or a few aspects of it and think that he can tweak her just a little into his perfect woman, without changing her so much that it's be bad for her.

Or the case when a man simple doesn't recognizes what kind of girl he has, and perceives her to be something she is not. So then, when he works to bring out the girl he thinks she is, he doesn't realize that he's actually working against what she needs.

Another options is that the man quite literally sees her as a slave in the legal sense, and as such, a disposable asset he doesn't need to care for or about. Pushing her in a direction she shouldn't or can't go may be sheer shellfishes under such circumstances. It could be done knowing full well it would destroy her -or come close- but he may not care, because she's a slave, and had no rights anyways.

There could be practical reasons for it. A man may not want to change her in a certain way, but feel he has to for the sake of her, himself and his family.
When I was with Bull, he pushed me incredible hard to go into nursing... a field that anybody who knows me for more than a few days can tell you I'm not at all suited for and would make me miserable. He did this because, thinking long term, it was important for me to get a green card visa, seeing that I wouldn't be able to stay on a student visa forever. Nursing happens to be a field that is so high in demand that they rush visa's through for it, and which had good job opportunities in the area where he lives. It was basically the only sure thing I could study that would guarantee me a long term shot at staying with him. Everything else was a maybe.
He was well aware of how I felt about nursing, and how poorly it fitted me, but he decided to push me into that directions anyways, because he felt the negatives of it outweighed the practicality of choosing that field.

Another reason could be sheer ineptitude. A man may know the type of woman she is, and what she needs, decided to actively work towards that, but be so poor at the execution that he ends up screwing everything up in the process, while he really set out to do good at the start.

There are plenty others anna, but I don't see any reason to go on, I'm sure you get what I'm trying to say: It's not always necessarily the "evil" of man that makes a man make the wrong decisions for the women in his care.
Btw... most of the above reasons apply the other way too. Plenty of women seeking masters stick with one they know isn't right because they are afraid of having to be looking again; or think they can change him just a little; or don't realize who he really is, and so on.

Ishtar

_____________________________


Aren't you glad we got smart bombs, it's a damn good thing that our bombs are clever

It's a shame that our kids are dumb, but our bombs are smart, what a lucky thing now

(in reply to AnnaOfAramis)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two - 11/8/2011 2:34:52 PM   
TheFireWithinMe


Posts: 1672
Joined: 10/3/2011
From: The Depths of Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xBullx

Some of you are simply clueless...


I resent that Bull, in fact I have a clue. It's small but it's MINE!

_____________________________

Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. ~Author Unknown

(in reply to xBullx)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two - 11/8/2011 5:54:07 PM   
AnnaOfAramis


Posts: 509
Joined: 7/30/2008
Status: offline 		Greetings Mistress,

Thank you for the list of reasons- there are quite a number of reasons why it might happen. But I have to wonder if it ends up actually being mastery if by trying to capture a girl you lose her. It sounds to me that most of the things you listed would be potential pitfalls rather than something that would lead to successful mastery. But I may be off- it's just an idea that occurred to me when I was reading the above thread.

Well wishes,
anna

_____________________________

“I refuse to be the leader. I want a man ... always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot."~Anaiis Nin

(in reply to Ishtarr)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two - 11/8/2011 6:05:53 PM   
kisshou


Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		Greetings Anna

you do not lose yourself in a negative way, it is more like your life is given focus. I think a man sees potential in you , then he takes what and who you are and he tweaks it . That tweaking process is continuous throughout the relationship as people , wants and needs grow and change.

I think is is always possible to describe things in a negative light instead of a postiive one.

What is the measure of success? My definition is two people who are happy and fulfilled in their relationship. Everyone is going to measure success in their own way.

well wishes
kisshou

(in reply to AnnaOfAramis)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two - 11/8/2011 8:15:38 PM   
Cherylmazana


Posts: 1151
Joined: 10/4/2007
Status: offline 		Anna I am seeing a lot of posts from you denying that something may be mastery.

So I am curious to see where you are coming from.

So to satisfy that curiosity could you let me know what exactly do you think mastery is?

Cheryl


_____________________________

Sometimes just because it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, doesn’t mean it is a duck, it could instead be a plastic replica that leads ducks to their ruin.

(in reply to kisshou)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two - 11/9/2011 3:07:23 AM   
mons


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		Master Bull

Some Master have no clue either!  Why not answer my question,
there is no need to just not answer?  They are value questions! 
Each time it is not the questions you wish it wrong, why!  Your strong enough to
answer and I am just as strong to answer i want no fight with anyone!  i asked simple
questions that is all!  i do have a clue i understand many things!

Mons

(in reply to Cherylmazana)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two - 11/9/2011 8:19:55 PM   
AnnaOfAramis


Posts: 509
Joined: 7/30/2008
Status: offline 		Greetings Mistress,

I didn't intend to sound like I was denying what may be mastery- I think I'm just trying to play devil's advocate a bit in order to poke at it a bit and understand it myself. Sometimes I like to turn things upside down a bit and try looking from a new angle. Asking all these questions helps me reevaluate my own theories and thoughts when I hear other people's responses. But, I'll take a stab at it- and doubtless this will need some tweaking.

I see mastery as the development over time of an attachment to a man, who has a hold over the girl and is able to control her so that she obeys not by choice, but by his will. Meaning one who is truly mastered does not *choose* to submit to him, but simply does because she is compelled to. It happens as a reaction to the man and can't be controlled by the girl experiencing it. In this way, she becomes his and cannot leave. At the point at which she can, it would be that he had lost his hold and mastery over her, for if he had not, she would not go.

I think some of the questions I have though are in regard to the reasons people are saying they run from mastery. And I suppose I am wondering if some of these things were what caused it to fail so that she did in fact end up leaving. And I am supposing that there is a balance to be maintained in order to keep a girl held in mastery. And that mastery of anything requires a deep knowledge of the subject being mastered. I am also supposing that in order for a girl to become mastered it is probable that she needs to feel a sense of stability and safety with him so that imperceptibly, she stops making her own choices and comes to rely on him. And that conversely, if something were to shake her sense of being able to rely on him, then she may begin to become self determining again and she may become unmastered.

I hope I have managed to answer your question- it's difficult to encapsulate in words.

Well wishes,
anna

_____________________________

“I refuse to be the leader. I want a man ... always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot."~Anaiis Nin

(in reply to Cherylmazana)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two - 11/9/2011 8:26:28 PM   
AnnaOfAramis


Posts: 509
Joined: 7/30/2008
Status: offline
quote:

it is more like your life is given focus. I think a man sees potential in you , then he takes what and who you are and he tweaks it . That tweaking process is continuous throughout the relationship as people , wants and needs grow and change.


Greetings kisshou,

I absolutely agree with this. I feel that I am made to be more me, to have things brought out that were hidden, and some things removed that were holding me back. But I don't feel like I've lost what makes me me, I feel like I'm freed to be more me. But there were several people who seemed to be talking about something more negative and actually no longer being who they are and that was what my comment was referring to.

Well wishes,
anna

_____________________________

“I refuse to be the leader. I want a man ... always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot."~Anaiis Nin

(in reply to kisshou)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two - 11/9/2011 8:38:45 PM   
Cherylmazana


Posts: 1151
Joined: 10/4/2007
Status: offline 		Hi Anna now I know where you are coming from.

You need the security of knowing the man who has mastered you is stable and safe.

But not everyone feels that way. If I use myself as an example when I was younger I always went for the bad boys, that sense of uncertainty, of danger, the feeling of always being on the edge attracted me.

The nice boys frankly were boring, yes you knew you would never have problems, they would never get in trouble with the law, they would have a steady job and want the whole home and 2.5 children etc.

While what I wanted was the feel of excitement, the knowledge that each day would be new and exciting, drink to excess, try drugs, ride on the back of a bike at 100 miles an hour through twisty country roads never knowing what was around the corner or if that corner would be your last. New men who would look at me as if I was candy and they would eat me up.

You don’t get safety and security with those type of men, what you get is a very wild ride. Even now I still get the urge to kick off safe secure life and run off to some new adventure, the reason I don’t is because I grew up and don’t want to hurt those I love, once I wouldn’t of cared about that.

However no security, no feeling of safety doesn’t preclude mastery, it’s just a mastery suited to a different type of woman.

I notice a lot of women on the Gorean boards look for a master to give them safety and stability in their life. To regulate and help them control the things they cannot, to save them from themselves. I never wanted that, I didn’t want to be saved.

They do say after all be careful what you wish for, you may just get it.

Cheryl


_____________________________

Sometimes just because it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, doesn’t mean it is a duck, it could instead be a plastic replica that leads ducks to their ruin.

(in reply to AnnaOfAramis)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two - 11/9/2011 9:10:20 PM   
AnnaOfAramis


Posts: 509
Joined: 7/30/2008
Status: offline
quote:

You need the security of knowing the man who has mastered you is stable and safe.

But not everyone feels that way.


Greetings Mistress,

You're right- I'm making the mistake of forgetting that different women would be mastered by different things. In this case, this is only what I need. Thank you for pointing that out- somehow it's so easy to be blinded by things in one's own experience.

quote:

They do say after all be careful what you wish for, you may just get it.

This is particularly true with Gorean men I often think of the quote in the Chronicles of Narnia "after all he's not a tame lion"

Well wishes,
anna

_____________________________

“I refuse to be the leader. I want a man ... always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot."~Anaiis Nin

(in reply to Cherylmazana)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two - 11/10/2011 1:36:25 AM   
mons


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		Cherly

Your indeed right about growing up, you do not have only yourself to
think about, their are the kids or husband or Master, after i had my son
it hit me!  I did do drugs or ride into the wind, but i would love to dance all night
long, buy the dress that made me, me!  Then i knew it was time to stay home i went out
once after my son was born and i called home to check on him to make sure he was okay for hours!  That made me
know stay home and be with him!  No more dancing it was all time for the kids, and when the weak

I remember I had gotten so much trouble for saying :" i did not trust any man around our children, I am sicken
by the news of the coach whom is so famous for his career as a mentor and a foot coach for the Penn State College!
I knew now we did the right things, now so many boys will suffer for what this man did, he hand picked his
victims!  I hope now reallyeveryone understand that people like this person is there waiting for children!

This is not just a stranger it can be an uncle, a dad, cousin's you think of anyone whom
comes to mind he could be it!  No no care for those children then now it being taken care of ! 
It was all about the leader's of the school,  the coache's and their asistsants!
They are not the man dress as a homeless person , they are normal men but mainly ones whom
ask to be with "your" children! Please everyone anyone whom is interested in your child and wants to be around him and
if this child does not like this person , pleasw watch out for them! I am as sorry as i can be about this, i am just sick with
the thought of what happen to the children!  This is the time I hated to be right!  What a nightmare for those boys! Mnay people come here to read post this is for anyone and everyone

my best wishes to all
mons/.jane

(in reply to AnnaOfAramis)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two - 11/10/2011 9:27:44 AM   
starshineowned


Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline 		The whole security aspect really is as large as any other word out there as to what it means to a person. In my case it wasn't a stable/safe man nor a bad boy who through caution to the wind. The security I needed was that no matter what I said or did in this bid to live with the me I had come to find and wanted to embrace.. it would be accepted, encouraged, and not exploited. Also to that the same would come from me to him. That sort of was the only part of me that was vulnerable. Theres some really deep dark things in my life that I've thought about, tried, and still would like to try. That just isn't stuff you share with any ole person.

starshine

< Message edited by starshineowned -- 11/10/2011 9:28:24 AM >

_____________________________

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." --Abraham Lincoln

(in reply to AnnaOfAramis)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two - 11/10/2011 9:30:08 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 37466
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		But if women are not exploitable, what is the use of being a man?

_____________________________

Kam Fong as Chin Ho

For in the final analysis, our most basic common link, is that we all inhabit this small planet, we all breathe the same air, we all cherish our children's futures, and we are all mortal. JFK



(in reply to starshineowned)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two - 11/10/2011 11:00:20 AM   
kisshou


Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		greetings,

we want to be "his" whore not an actual streetwalker, that is where I draw the exploitable line

well wishes
kisshou

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two - 11/10/2011 11:14:02 AM   
kisshou


Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		hehehe

remember that guy who posted fora while who was going to start an inn/bar

and he was looking for girls to "work" or be slaves there

(in reply to kisshou)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two - 11/22/2011 8:41:02 AM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline 		Just checking in...Hope everyone is doing well.

We are out of Chicago and are living in the Phoenix area. I love it, I loathed every single moment in Chicago and am much happier here in the desert. I'm still working on my doctorate and I feel like I will be for the rest of my life..ha!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!





_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to kisshou)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two - 11/22/2011 12:39:04 PM   
Ishtarr


Posts: 1041
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BeingChewsie

I loathed every single moment in Chicago and am much happier here in the desert.



I can relate, I was expecting so much of it and it was just absolutely dreadful.
Chicago is the most horrible place I've lived in my life.

Glad to hear you're okay, have fun drying out in the desert.

_____________________________


Aren't you glad we got smart bombs, it's a damn good thing that our bombs are clever

It's a shame that our kids are dumb, but our bombs are smart, what a lucky thing now

(in reply to BeingChewsie)
Profile   Post #: 100
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 3 4 [5]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Gorean Lifestyles >> RE: Slave Thread Support and Girly Time Take Two Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 4 [5]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2012
Collarchat.com is a member of the Free Speech Coalition
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

3.422