BitaTruble
Posts: 8574
Joined: 1/12/2006
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I'm a little long in the tooth, so I don't have little ones of my own with which to deal (although, honestly, my children, though in their 30s still call Mama quite often for advice and allowance.. hehe). Also, I don't work outside the home. That said, there are other things which do come into play. I have a father who is getting senile to the point of being a danger to himself. It's taxing to say the least and Himself and I have determined it's time to have a very serious talk with him about his options and preferences. I do not look forward to it. There are also several medical issues which the three of us (Himself, my dad and me) are trying to fix/cope with as the issue allows.
Sometimes I just have to hold on for dear life and wait for the tides to reverse course. Other times, well.. I'm menopausal so I get to cry. Usually it's over something completely unrelated to the actual issue but it seems to help. Often I turn to family for advice and support, to Himself for strength and endurance and also to myself.. because I know that I've survived worse and gotten better for it.
I guess my number one saving grace is having the confidence that.. this, too, shall pass. When I feel like I am losing focus, that tells me it's time to narrow my vision, squint my eyes and redouble my efforts in that regard. When I have doubts about my abilities, I turn to Michael.. ask him to help me set the priority even if it's just for the moment. That gives me a limb to hang on to (or hang from) and he's pretty good in that regard. Most of the time one or the other of us has enough energy and strength to hold up the one who may need more nurturing or care in the moment or more consideration or more.. you know.. whatever. We just get through.. but we do it together.
The one thing which has never, ever failed us.. which has never gone astray is our ability to communicate what we are feeling and thinking to one another. We are both very good at that aspect and I think that's why we have made it this far and will continue to keep going and going albeit with the occasional sputter. When the 'check engine' light comes on we take the car into the dealer and get the job done so it will drive better and last longer. In other words, we pay attention to the signs, fix whats needs to be fixed, lube what needs to be lubed (usually me!) and take it a day at a time.. sometimes a minute at a time. Getting through those rough minutes.. those count for a lot.
I also meditate, do yoga and most importantly, I continue to breathe.. deep cleansing breathes putting oxygen into my blood to get to my brain so that it keeps working as best as possible. I try not to beat myself up for my lapses and I give that same consideration to Himself and try not to beat him up for his lapses. I don't always succeed in either of those things, but I have a pretty good track record with them if nothing else. It helps that I'm not a bitch and he's not a tyrant and both of us are very interested in the depth and substance of our relationship and keeping it where it needs to be for us to thrive as both a couple and as individuals.
Not sure if that will help.. but, it kinda felt good writing it all down since there's a bit of a rough patch going on right now and Himself is pretty ill.
_____________________________
۩ "The mind, once expanded to the dimensions of larger ideas, never returns to its original size." ۩
~Oliver Wendell Holmes~
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