DarkSteven
Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008 Status: offline
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Lots of suggestions. 1. You say you cannot host. Never say that without explaining - it sounds like you're married. 2. "Quite a while" = two and a half months. Get patient. The main issues with your profile are lots of words that say nothing, and excessive and-or-not logic. On to your profile: 3. Eliminate the first paragraph. Sounds like a wanker fantasy. 4. The second, Gumby, paragraph is cute. I like it. 5. The third and fourth paragraphs to me just dilute the profile. They really don't say much. 6. I like the standalone Hi! It grabs attention and is cheerful. 7. The next two paragraphs, again, say little and dilute. 8. Your list of interests is 90% kink and doesn't give much of a feel for you as a person. However, the travel, volunteerism, and beachcombing sound intriguing. Write about them on your profile and it will be MUCH more interesting. 9. The following passage: "An interest in selfbondage is a plus but not a requirement. Those interested in a serious D/s relationship are welcome as are those who see BDSM as one of many fun activities 2 adults can share. If you want to sub 24/7, that's an option I am open to, but I'm also interested in someone who wants to be a friend and equal part of the time and sub part of the time. How much you are equal and how much sub is very much open to discussion." really doesn't say anything. Get rid of statements like that. 10. Your third limit shocked me. I read first No sex. Then I read except maybe you doing oral on me. Finally I read Until we have a long term commitment. The first parts of the sentence were read first and made an impression. I would rewrite as I want a longterm commitment. Until we have that, I'd prefer to go slow with sex. 11. Replace the last paragraph with "I'm looking for a sub woman but could be open to occasional switching." 12. Your 7/22 journal entry raised red flags. If you're online only, why does race matter? It sounds like "chat" means cybering - that conflicts with what your profile said. And why Caucasian only - if it's just conversation, that should not make a difference. Also, your sentence construction is by exception, not stating what you do want. Hard to understand. 13. Your 7/11 journal entry specifies the conditions under which you want subs to contact you. It just feels wrong to me. 14. Your 7/1 entry is whining. Delete it. 15. Your 6/21 entry is too hard for me to read. It sounds like a nested if statement, with a not or two thrown in. What's the point? Are you getting so many messages from out of state Doms that you need to say that? 16. You say that you;re open to meeting Dommes and Dom men. Are you bi? Your profile gives the impression of being a straight Dom man, and then fuzzes up the picture a bit. Here's what I'd recommend. Hi! I'm a straight Dom man looking for a sub or switch woman. I'm a committed Christian and would prefer the same in you. I'd like to spend time with a woman going out to dinner, doing volunteer activities together, and possibly travel a few times a year. I'm into bondage especially, although I'm still new to it. Wanna learn with me? Note: to me, the relationship is more important than the kink. So let's spend the time to get to know each other before the toy box gets opened. That said, I am open to simple play meetings but would prefer a full relationship. -------------- Also, explain your situation - never married, divorced, widowed. Do you have kids at home or on their own? Welcome to collarme!
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"You women.... The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs... Quit fretting. We men love you."
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