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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Polyamorous Lifestyles >> Moved: Need Help..How to find our future girlfriend?

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Moved: Need Help..How to find our future girlfriend? - 7/30/2011 11:18:32 PM

softscreams

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http://www.collarchat.com/m_3790688/tm.htm

...xoxo

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RE: Moved: Need Help..How to find our future girlfriend? - 8/13/2011 6:52:51 AM

SirJ40

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Over the years, it's been reinforced, over and over.. you have to look at it as "what is being offered to this woman?". It's not nearly as much about what she can do for you, but what you're going to bring to her... or at least, you need to remember that it's HALF about what she wants/needs. Hopefully I'm misreading it, but your post brings a feeling that you're objectifying before you even meet this person... it's not that you're "looking to get a girl".. you're hoping to meet someone that not only likes you, but likes your master, and is content living within your paradigm. I agree with those who say "expect to search for years", but I'd add in there that you should be presenting it as "here's who we are, here's what we hope to find, does this interest you?". Putting out a " we want this and this and this and that but you're going to have to fuck him too" kind of vibe is almost like you're shopping for a car, you know? The "Unicorn" needs to know what's in it FOR her.. she already knows what she's prepared to offer.

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RE: Moved: Need Help..How to find our future girlfriend? - 8/29/2011 6:38:41 PM

LOCKITON

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too true, we are in the same boat... I figure that i put it out there that we are prepared to share or lives with another woman, to involve her into our relationship as an equal where we all may fall in love with eachother, not ask her to come and join us so my man can have her, thats nuts... (although there are3 women thet like to have a man while his lady watch's) ... we have shared good times with 8 different women over the last year and enjoyed these times, although kinky it was never about master fucking her at all, in fact he only did once, and it was my idea..lol it seems easier to get women for fun than it is to find someone whom can bond with both of us and continnue a relationship.. we have made some wonderful friends, introduced a women to bdsm, she moved closer to us for a closer friendship yet persues her own desires with single males which we encourage, she is in her own right to persue her own desires, respectful of that and we spend time with her alot without play... maybe there should be a poly site where there is many girls whom seek companionship in poly so just maybe we will conect with someone..
I kind of gave up and decided that if it is meant to be she will walk into our lives and it will happen naturally, as does love. in the meantime, we enjoy what we have to the fullest...
x slave R x

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RE: Moved: Need Help..How to find our future girlfriend? - 8/30/2011 4:28:43 AM

Endivius

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirJ40
It's not nearly as much about what she can do for you, but what you're going to bring to her...
or at least, you need to remember that it's HALF about what she wants/needs.

..... you should be presenting it as "here's who we are, here's what we hope to find, does this interest you?".....

.....The "Unicorn" needs to know what's in it FOR her.. she already knows what she's prepared to offer.

Probably some of the best advice you are gonna get. I'm sure others wil have more for you. Everything I could say to help you, SirJ40 has allready done.

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