RaspberryLemon -> RE: Training in your Relationship (8/23/2011 11:34:34 AM)
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I suppose my relationship involves (or has involved) "training" of some sort. "Training," to me, is a form of learning through guidance and communication. I don't need to be trained to submit to him. I submit to him because I love him, respect him, and honor his leadership and ownership of me. The "training" part comes in when I am to learn how he wants me to submit to him.The learning of habits and rituals the way he wants them to be. That is the training I've undergone by him. Examples include how he likes certain drinks, how he wants his food prepared, how I am expected to behave, the correct pose I am to hold while he inspects me, knowing when to wait at the door for him to go through first, etc. Odds are, I don't need to be told more than once for simple things--to instill a habit in me, however, maybe I need to be reminded a few times after that. To that end, yes, there is training in our relationship; most of it is already said and done, now that I know how he likes things and what behavior is expected of me, so I suppose I should say that there "was" training in my relationship. The training is based on good communication and guidance, and truly, most of it is simply he says he wants something this way, so I do it; but if you look at it, it is training nonetheless--I enjoy serving and pleasing him, thus doing things the way he wants nets me a form of positive reinforcement, in the form of words of praise or a satisfied expression on his face (his happiness.) I want him to approve of me and be proud of me. In that respect, people are not much different than dogs. It's just that everybody's motivations are different. EDIT to respond to the question of "how do [you] learn to enjoy or accept things which [you] did not previously?": There are plenty of things that I don't actively like doing. For example, scrubbing the toilet. Fuck no I don't like doing it. But. He decided it is my responsibility, so I am expected to do it. He told me to do it, so I do it. Very simple. And while I may not enjoy the actual action of scrubbing toilets, I enjoy obeying my Master. I will never enjoy scrubbing the toilet, but I like doing it for him, I like doing it for us. When the job is done, despite it being an unpleasant job, there is a smile on my face because I take pride in my hard work and in the completion of responsibilities handed to me by him.
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