SuzeCheri
Posts: 483
Joined: 7/19/2011
From: Outside looking in
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Wow! you really read what you want into things and ignore what you don't want to consider don't you. You've made a lot of mistakes, and while it really doesn't matter to me what you think, I have decided that I don't want anybody to think that your mistaken assumptions about us are valid, so please bear with me while I make the necessary clarifications, in order to correct any mistaken perceptions that may arise as a result of your posts, this may take a while.
First of all, let me say that I went through your post very carefully and thoroughly in order to make absolutely certain that I was not missing or misunderstanding anything. What I discovered is that you made 22 main points (though some of which were effectively just repetitions), and that of those 22 points, I found that you were wrong about all 22 of them. It would seem that you do not read as well as you think, and you certainly do not have the ability to interpret things that you seem to think you have either. Clearly that is far to many errors to correct one at a time, without boring everybody else to death, so I will just deal with the salient points (there are enough of them) with the following provision: Any point in your post that I do not address directly may be assumed to be in error.
First of all, I never said that reasonable time and access to Heather was my priority, what I said was that that was the only demand Suze and I made on their M/s dynamic. And second of all, you claim that H&H are sacrificing their dynamic for the quad. They aren't. They never did see their M/s the way you seem to think they must, I'm assuming this is the Gorean influence blinding you to this fact, since both the Goreans who have posted have made the same mistake. The truth of the matter is that Hannah Lynn and Heather have sacrificed nothing. As has been explained earlier, Hannah has decided to make it a secondary priority to the survival of the unit, because she values the unit and it's members highly, and until such time as Suze and I determine how or if we fit into this strange world you all inhabit, there is no point in making formal arrangement after formal arrangement and continually renegotiating and rearranging it as we explore and find our way. Hannah Lynn & Heather are most definitely practicing their dynamic, I assume you missed the post where Heather said she refers us to Hannah Lynn when she feels Hannah Lynn needs to be consulted about something.
Furthermore, Heather's time and determinations are her own within whatever boundaries Hannah Lynn puts on them, not the boundaries you put on them. And the negotiations are indeed Heather's to engage in. Hannah Lynn has given her boundaries, but it is up to Heather how close to those boundaries she goes with either of us. She is an equal party in the negotiations with me, and also with Suze in matters regarding our individual interactions, and obviously has to be. As long as she stays within Hannah Lynn's guidelines, it is our business alone how we structure our relationships.
Heather is no more spread around than any of us, we are all having to meet the needs of the other three. Heather is under no pressure to figure out who is her priority, her priority is the same as that of all of us. We are our priority, the four of us are the priority of each of the four of us. Nobody is secondary to anybody, that is what is meant by making the unit the primary relationship. As well, nobody is looking to Heather to decide anything but what she wants. Again she is not the common denominator, "we" are. Admittedly, Heather was the common denominator in the beginning, but she no longer is. If H&H should break up with us, Suze and I would continue as lovers. If Heather were to leave us, we would continue with Hannah Lynn, and so on. If any of the four of us should leave, the remaining parties will attempt to carry on. I am in love with all three of my partners, and each of the others feels the same way. You're assuming that we all have our strongest emotional attachment to Heather. This simply is not so.
And we do trust Hannah Lynn to make the best decision for Heather, and more than that, we trust her to make the best decisions for all of us, and that is why we are doing things the way we are, because that is the way Hannah Lynn thinks is best for all concerned, including Heather and herself. Heather doesn't have any more control of her relationships with Suze and I than we do. She has only peripheral influence over the relationships between Suze, Hannah Lynn and myself, just as each of us has with regards to the relationships between the other members of the house. If anybody has any such control, ultimately it is Hannah Lynn because we have all agreed to follow her lead for the time being while we figure out exactly how this thing is going to work.
And finally, we have spent hours and hours and hours talking to both Hannah Lynn and Heather about what their motivations for their present and past roles are, why they do it and what they get out of it. It should be obvious that we have done so, we are trying to learn about BDSM and D/s, and we are living with two people who are living that sort of life, one of whom has done so for a number of years in a variety of roles and capacities. Only an idiot would ignore such an obvious resource, or assume that anybody else would. And I am confident that I know more about Heather, and Hannah Lynn, now than you ever will, and that I understand both of them quite well. Perhaps one thing you didn't know, though it has been stated on several occasions, is that while one or more of us may be online here on CM, we are usually all together, discussing the various thread topics amongst ourselves, and that our discussions wander and drift far more than any thread does, because we have no Mods here at Haytch House, we are a completly unfettered free speech zone.
There. Those are the major mistakes you have made in your interpretation of our relationships. I would like to say that your advice was appreciated, but since absolutely all of it is inapplicable to us and our lives, I would be lying if I did.
Oh, and one last thing; Heather never said she wants us all to lead, she said she hopes we all can and will. There is a big difference between those two things.
< Message edited by SuzeCheri -- 9/21/2011 11:01:37 AM >
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RE: Do as I say, but not always... - 
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