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Poly but havent fallen in love with somebody in a long long time


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Poly but havent fallen in love with somebody in a long ... - 11/2/2011 7:18:47 AM   
BoobooKittyFck


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/11/2011
Status: offline 		So I was wondering, I've been poly all my life used to fall in love at the drop of a pin, been in one ltr for the last 12 years travel a lot and move from place to place quite often too, last time i've been involved with somebdoy besides my ltr ( he does travel with me and moves with me ) was around 5 years ago it somewhat ended due to me/us moving away ( although we love each other and i still very much love people i have been involved with for over 15 years even if we do the long distance love thing. ( i mean different contients long distance you might call it a deep friendship but in terms of feelings is mroe than that) But i havent met one person who rocks my world  in a few years , met a lot of lovely peopel who i tought mm i could fall maybe for them but is just not there not the amazing chemsitry and floaty feelings, I am not sadden or upset nor i go out chading the feeling as i do have a heart full of those whom i love even if they do live away. my LTR partner is more into "open relationships" so he does have some friends he do have casual sex with and even a few flings, that i have no problem with and he does too have old loves we are both close to,

But what i was wondering is if anybody has experienced this either poly or even mono people, the fact that you just dont seem to find that spark with anybody new?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Poly but havent fallen in love with somebody in a l... - 11/2/2011 10:16:04 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 8119
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I've gotten much more selective as I've matured.

(in reply to BoobooKittyFck)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Poly but havent fallen in love with somebody in a l... - 11/4/2011 7:49:53 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 23775
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: online 		For myself it comes from a place of not neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeddddiiiiinnnnnngggg anyone to complete me.

I have a very full and enriching life. I would like very much to add an s-type to my household and life. I miss it. But I proceed with my head not my hormones. There is no reason wasting time on a situation that will obviously not work.

If it doesn't happen, I will not be greatly distraught.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to BoobooKittyFck)
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RE: Poly but havent fallen in love with somebody in a l... - 11/4/2011 10:07:44 AM   
HannahLynn


Posts: 687
Joined: 10/16/2011
From: where its fucking at.
Status: offline
quote:

the fact that you just dont seem to find that spark with anybody new?
well no fuck.  of course. love is like shit, it happens. you don't fucking plan it or force it or pencil it in for next wednesday afternoon. when i met heather it had been like 9 fucking years since i'd been in love, and since meeting her i have fallen two more times. go figure, it never rains but it pours and all that shit, right.

you don't feel that spark because you haven't met the right person is all. you may never, but then again, who the fuck knows. tomorrow you might meet four such people. that is why i always tell people not to rely on the fucking net. get your ass out the door and meet people. leave the car at home and take the fucking bus, its full of people.

(in reply to BoobooKittyFck)
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RE: Poly but havent fallen in love with somebody in a l... - 11/4/2011 12:32:53 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		I have this little rule of thumb, generally Hanners isn't eligible for the SQoTD, so as to avoid any semblance of favoritism. That and she has a way with words and is so often very highly quotable. But, given that there has been little that was really quote-worthy of late....

Heather's choice for the

Sunny's Quote of the Day
goes to
HannahLynn

for this unpleasant, yet entirely apt metaphor:

love is like shit, it happens.

(in reply to HannahLynn)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Poly but havent fallen in love with somebody in a l... - 11/7/2011 9:26:12 PM   
MadAxeman


Posts: 4161
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
Status: offline 		It's Wednesday tomorrow and I have to get a bus...

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(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)
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RE: Poly but havent fallen in love with somebody in a l... - 11/12/2011 8:58:12 AM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 16400
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		Might sound like a stupid question, and Gawd knows I love to ask those, but what does falling in love have to do with poly?  Juuuuuuuuuust wonderin is all.....................

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(in reply to MadAxeman)
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RE: Poly but havent fallen in love with somebody in a l... - 11/12/2011 12:20:04 PM   
Ogrelord999


Posts: 113
Joined: 6/9/2011
From: United states
Status: offline 		**** Heather and Hannah ...." Love is like shit , it happens" ..... Hmmmmmm Im not sure whats more frightening the statement itself ? ...or The Fact that I Dig it ?

****TiggersPoohbear... Like every sect of society ... there are always subsets ...humans seek others of their kind , those of like mind swell into a catagory and then some split into yet another subset. Some and I would be one believe that Poly-Amoury is just what it says ... "Many Loves" ... but there are many who would seem rather to define it as "POLY-COITUS" or roughly many sexual partners. we could both argue our views and never expect an agreement ... to each his own.

I Enjoy sex yes but find it pointless if I cannot get lost in the person attached to the Organ...its just how im made.

****the OP ... your lovely however your maturing ... theres no escape. Your experiance has broadened your perspective and left you with little new to discover ... UNLESSS you understand Life and everything conatianed within it is simply a matter of perspective , we mostly view it as it parades in front of us ...never changing our perspectives. The world is in fact unchangable universal events will always be what they are , the only power we possess is to change ourselves and alter our perception of our lives


(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Poly but havent fallen in love with somebody in a l... - 11/12/2011 7:41:48 PM   
Numbone


Posts: 34
Joined: 11/12/2011
Status: offline 		I can say that has happened to me. And I as well as my current partner have both thought that we may be poly. But my screen name is Numbone for a reason. I haven't felt that either in a long time. Really wanting to be with someone because they really set off not just the lustful part of me, but that longing just to be near them. Sometimes I wonder if its just me that can't really love.

Getting back to you though. I think about my mother (odd place to do that
) , but she went a long time not finding it. And she got smacked in the chest with cupid's arrow about two years ago.

(in reply to Ogrelord999)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Poly but havent fallen in love with somebody in a l... - 11/13/2011 5:34:53 AM   
Ogrelord999


Posts: 113
Joined: 6/9/2011
From: United states
Status: offline 		I have pondered this quite often actually ,often In youth ... I believe we are more in love with the concept of being in love, and the excitement of the chase, than capable of feeling a deep and lasting love itself. Everyone wants that and wants it now ....and truth is no matter what you do that is cultivated in time and trust ., One must remember that any Cliche is what it is cause its been around forever and remains in use for eons , simply cause it is true." Familiarity breeds contempt" is the one I offer you now. IF You and Your original partner cannot spice up your own cohabitation and feel the thrill of one another have no fire than truth is , any other you might find to join , will more than likely be just as lost as you are. For a time this might rekindle some heat but fun though it is One of you has to know the way or you will end up with TWO of what you already have now ... twice the pain , twice the hollowness or Loss.

" the trick is not having what you want , but wanting what you have" ~ Unknown is another you might consider tearing down you current loves and trying to find a fresh perspective on how to view them.




Some are born with such a wanderlust that no matter how lovely the pasture they will at LEAST wander the fence to see the grass on the otherside.

_____________________________

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.
~Socrates

" Cold hearted Orb that rules the night ... steals the colors from our sight, red is grey and yellow white, but we decide which is right ... and which is Illusion." ~ Moody Blues


(in reply to Numbone)
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RE: Poly but havent fallen in love with somebody in a l... - 11/13/2011 5:43:10 AM   
Ogrelord999


Posts: 113
Joined: 6/9/2011
From: United states
Status: offline 		Sorry forgot this bit ... As I have said many times ...after 13 years The woman of my heart still takes my breath away and melts my heart with her beauty as she lays sleeping (even if she does tend to cross her hands on her chest like a vampire) So what I want is nothing more nor less than that feeling between myself and any other perspective partner , and for them to have that between themselves as well. It would comfort me to know also , Older and somewhat Ill as I am ... I would like to know that they would have one anothers hand to hold and shoulders to lean on when they lay me to rest. That returning home ...their bed would be a little less cold the morning after.



_____________________________

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.
~Socrates

" Cold hearted Orb that rules the night ... steals the colors from our sight, red is grey and yellow white, but we decide which is right ... and which is Illusion." ~ Moody Blues


(in reply to Ogrelord999)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Poly but havent fallen in love with somebody in a l... - 11/15/2011 5:15:06 AM   
BoobooKittyFck


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/11/2011
Status: offline 		i am not looking for it i  had never looked for it and  had been lucky am  in love with several people and i ahve always been poly i was talkign more about  how i cant find intelligent intersting people who fit my criteria as to what is amazingly mindc blowing people lol 

i guess all the amazingly mind blwing people  got old and died or something lol but really i ddont  seem to find that feeling of wow new love nor be itnerested in looking for it  so i dont find anybody to put it on to myabe i got old and died
nwo i am nto talkgin about  not loving  or not even ewnjoying others  but simply not having the "fallign in love" feeling lol


(in reply to Ogrelord999)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Poly but havent fallen in love with somebody in a l... - 11/29/2011 3:57:03 PM   
DaddyDomAndMom


Posts: 20
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		Sounds like you are NRE deficienthttp://www.collarchat.com/micons/m18.gif.

NRE seems very physical and chemical to me. Though I am generally brain oriented the "falling in love" feeling comes to me more often on the dance floor or other physical interactions. http://www.collarchat.com/upfiles/smiley/hearts.gif

Maybe you need to check out couples, twice as many chemicals, lol

(in reply to BoobooKittyFck)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Poly but havent fallen in love with somebody in a l... - 11/29/2011 4:06:58 PM   
wittynamehere


Posts: 504
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BoobooKittyFck

So I was wondering, I've been poly all my life used to fall in love at the drop of a pin, been in one ltr for the last 12 years travel a lot and move from place to place quite often too, last time i've been involved with somebdoy besides my ltr ( he does travel with me and moves with me ) was around 5 years ago it somewhat ended due to me/us moving away ( although we love each other and i still very much love people i have been involved with for over 15 years even if we do the long distance love thing. ( i mean different contients long distance you might call it a deep friendship but in terms of feelings is mroe than that) But i havent met one person who rocks my world  in a few years , met a lot of lovely peopel who i tought mm i could fall maybe for them but is just not there not the amazing chemsitry and floaty feelings, I am not sadden or upset nor i go out chading the feeling as i do have a heart full of those whom i love even if they do live away. my LTR partner is more into "open relationships" so he does have some friends he do have casual sex with and even a few flings, that i have no problem with and he does too have old loves we are both close to,

But what i was wondering is if anybody has experienced this either poly or even mono people, the fact that you just dont seem to find that spark with anybody new?



Been a few years for me, also. Had some fun, and some friendships, but haven't been in love with anyone except my girl in a while. For me, it might be because neither of us are over my other girl, who left us very suddenly a few years ago.


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I almost never return to a thread, so if you saw my post and want me to hear your reply, please message it to me.

(in reply to BoobooKittyFck)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Poly but havent fallen in love with somebody in a l... - 11/29/2011 4:09:23 PM   
wittynamehere


Posts: 504
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ogrelord999
One must remember that any Cliche is what it is cause its been around forever and remains in use for eons , simply cause it is true.

Hell no. That's VERY dangerous thinking. Many cliches are true and many are false. Learn about "normalcy bias".


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I almost never return to a thread, so if you saw my post and want me to hear your reply, please message it to me.

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Poly but havent fallen in love with somebody in a l... - 11/29/2011 5:11:33 PM   
BoobooKittyFck


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/11/2011
Status: offline 		DADDYDOMANDMOMMY you are wrong

I am not NRE deficient  and in the dance floor what comes to you is lust
to FALL in love iwth somebody  is about knowing somebody and having amazing deep love feelings that are also  twinged with some fo that lust, if you dont knwo the differnce between falling in love and fallingin lust ( maybe alcohol induced lust) i feel sorry for you

to fall ini love with somebody I ned to know them and have an amazing connection that is deeper than jsut loving them

i am quite capable of feeling lust b ut i knwo the differnce between it and love and between lovoing somebody and being in love with them

i hope you do figure it out someday dear

my pont was simply I HAVENT found anybody new who is amazing enough to feel both lust and deep love for and is most likely because i am too picky but not unhappy at all with ther people i am with and whom i am madly in love with just  making conversation about how one goes trough periods when simply there is nobody around that triggers all those feelings.

(in reply to wittynamehere)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Poly but havent fallen in love with somebody in a l... - 11/29/2011 10:00:14 PM   
darkwaves


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/24/2011
Status: offline 		I think that being selective is good. It is hard to meet new people, particularly someone on the same page as you are. Lust is easy and fun but doesn't last usually.

Try not to worry about it too much. Your LTR sounds great and if someone else pops up that you fall in love with too that would be amazing. In the meantime enjoy what you have and be greatful for it.

(in reply to BoobooKittyFck)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Poly but havent fallen in love with somebody in a l... - 11/30/2011 8:35:03 AM   
BoobooKittyFck


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/11/2011
Status: offline 		tha nks darkwaves, i dont  worry at all i simply comment on how life happens, even when I've  been single i never worried about finding peopel to love otr to fal n love with, but i got thinking that really s funny that i just relaized  it has been years ther was a lady i have a great friendship and sort of a crush on but she is str8 completely so ui never tought about her "that " way besides that nobody interesting, lol wondering if all the intersting peopel my age are hiding at home

(in reply to darkwaves)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Poly but havent fallen in love with somebody in a l... - 11/30/2011 10:36:59 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		I don't have the time to be in love. I don't even have enough time for the few friendships I have...lol. It takes such a long time to get to know people deeply and I don't have that time spare as it's taken up with the people I already have such as my children, grandchildren, parents and M.

eta..I meet interesting people all the time, the world is chocobloc full of them.

agirl



< Message edited by agirl -- 11/30/2011 10:38:32 AM >

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(in reply to BoobooKittyFck)
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RE: Poly but havent fallen in love with somebody in a l... - 11/30/2011 10:04:38 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline
quote:

I don't have the time to be in love.
Wow! That's a really depressing concept. Being in love is how I spend my day. I have to make an effort to squeeze in a little time for anything else.

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 20
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