What emotions does being Dom invoke in you?

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What emotions does being Dom invoke in you?

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What emotions does being Dom invoke in you? - 11/4/2011 5:18:01 AM

DomThoughts

Posts: 49
Joined: 11/29/2006
Status: offline

I had a discussion with a friend last night, about her reasons for being submissive and the feelings and emotions, and to a lesser degree the reasons why she needed to be submissive.

She then turned the question around, and I was honestly a little stuck, my primary interest is the mental and emotional understanding of someone, and then turning that into sadistic ploys! The primary motivation for me appears to be narcissism! (that could be 50% tongue in cheek)

Basically, my response to that question just felt a little weak, and now I'm curious how others here would answer that question. because I'm sure those answers would help me to understand my answer.

Thank you in advance!

Post #: 1

RE: What emotions does being Dom invoke in you? - 11/4/2011 6:09:36 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 20308
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: online

Honestly, it doesn't much. No more than putting on a pair of pants that fit me does.

Being a Dom and not being in control - THAT brings out the emotions!

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to DomThoughts)

Post #: 2

RE: What emotions does being Dom invoke in you? - 11/4/2011 7:35:57 AM

ZenRiverOtter

Posts: 8
Joined: 10/28/2011
Status: offline

Joy.

Really, it's that simple and should be (for me at least) for the sub as well. I have been with subs that wanted pain, discipline, humiliation or control because they only thought of that as being what they somehow deserved. Such relationships never lasted for me. Give me a sub that orgasms from pain, thrives on discipline or craves control. Then we both achieve joy.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 3

RE: What emotions does being Dom invoke in you? - 11/4/2011 8:01:57 AM

Kana

Posts: 3152
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomThoughts

I had a discussion with a friend last night, about her reasons for being submissive and the feelings and emotions, and to a lesser degree the reasons why she needed to be submissive.

She then turned the question around, and I was honestly a little stuck, my primary interest is the mental and emotional understanding of someone, and then turning that into sadistic ploys! The primary motivation for me appears to be narcissism! (that could be 50% tongue in cheek)

Basically, my response to that question just felt a little weak, and now I'm curious how others here would answer that question. because I'm sure those answers would help me to understand my answer.

Thank you in advance!

The feeling?

Mineminemineminemine.
And quite a bit of cackling as well.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to DomThoughts)

Post #: 4

RE: What emotions does being Dom invoke in you? - 11/4/2011 9:31:03 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6389
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

i'm interested to read more replies to this -- i think for some of us (s-folk) it can become really emotional, and we wonder if it's similar on the other side. like i'm always curious to get a better understanding of what the D/M gets out of it -- from my end it seems like i get all the benefits and he gets the headache of managing (which is part of what motivates me to be reeeally really good =p), but i guess i don't understand that Ds/Ms like managing and having things their way.

anyway, please carry on -- this is an interesting topic. :)

< Message edited by LillyBoPeep -- 11/4/2011 9:32:26 AM >

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 5

RE: What emotions does being Dom invoke in you? - 11/4/2011 12:14:44 PM

HisPet21

Posts: 276
Joined: 6/7/2011
Status: offline

I wanna hear more responses too!!!

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 6

RE: What emotions does being Dom invoke in you? - 11/4/2011 12:42:12 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 18465
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I've asked him and basically there's nothing much further than Steven said. This fits him while anything else is irritating as all hell.

That's for dominance, not being a rope top. For that he's got a difference answer. It's a creative endeavor for him, with my body as the canvas and him the artist. Plus it makes him hard.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

(in reply to HisPet21)

Post #: 7

RE: What emotions does being Dom invoke in you? - 11/5/2011 4:46:13 AM

DomThoughts

Posts: 49
Joined: 11/29/2006
Status: offline

Well I am glad that my rubbish response to that question appears to be the norm! So in an effort to invoke a touch of soul searching, I'll have a go at answering properly.

When I first start getting to know a girl, the initial explore I find to be a very self-indulgently gratifying thing. I've been told I do this part considerably different than everybody else (their words not mine!) I take a lot of gratification from knowing the underlying mental, emotional, and psychological reasoning behind the desires that women have. In that initial explore – and the continuing on-going explore I get a lot of satisfaction from knowing that I am understanding motives and connections that nobody has made in that girl before.

Once I have gleaned that knowledge, I am quite a mischievous soul (and allegedly menacing!!) it is probably again, largely self-indulgence, I take pride in creating pressure that exploits the nuances I have discovered. I don't really get anything from the generic D/s stuff, unless it is being used as a tool to exploit something deeper.

There is a lot of gratification, that probably leaks over to being sexual, from the knowledge that a girl is doing something that I know is difficult, purely because I have asked her to do so. I find this a particularly powerful aspect. There is definitely a sadistic pleasure in this, but I am struggling to see what occurs underneath that pleasure, whether there are more base emotions to sadism. (thoughts on this would be interesting)

It is probably a very similar emotion set when it comes to physical play. I enjoy exploring boundaries, and I don't seem to have a preference for how extreme or shallow those boundaries are. If it is pushing a boundary, I can get as much enjoyment from giving a light spanking as I can from an intense pain session. I definitely feed off the reactions rather than the acts.

I don't find it a strictly sexual experience, sure the act of having a naked girl tied to one's bed is sexually enjoyable, but the D/s aspects of that aren't primarily sexual for me. This is perhaps massively over simplified, but it is almost as if it is psychologically experimental, sort of 'what happens if we do *this* to the subject' very over simplified indeed! But it also feels vaguely fitting.

In fact, on reflection, some of my most memorable D/s experiences have been with women where it hasn't been at all sexual, and has had the opening intention of exploring her underlying reactions and desires with regards to an aspect of D/s, be that pain, humiliation etc.

Well that is my thoughts so far, I'm not sure how much of that would stand up to further analysis, I may be way off base on some of it, but reading through it now, it *feels* right. It would be good to read a few others constructing something similar.

< Message edited by DomThoughts -- 11/5/2011 4:49:14 AM >

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 8

RE: What emotions does being Dom invoke in you? - 11/5/2011 2:30:49 PM

Uncleduke316

Posts: 24
Joined: 8/30/2008
Status: offline

having a woman do what I say is the ultimate rush. even in nature the natural order is the female serving the male. why do you think we see the lioness do all the work for the lion's benefit? do you think a male lion is completely unable to fend for himself if need be?in eastern societies men never have to suffer the feminist ball busting two faced hypocrisy about equality that we do here. if a woman makes the choice to serve a man she should SERVE plain and simple and be ready to make his happiness the focus of her life. i won't waste my time on a woman not into me. im too old to shovel shit against the tide and I won't compromise on my goal: a submissive, sugaramma doormat who will worship at my feet. I don't need more than that. I'm simply old school. I say you do or you get the belt. don't like it? out the door. acting as a dom just reinforces my feelings that im supposed to do this and that women are meant to serve in the back in a support role. it's just less bullshit when this happens. If a woman winds up in a bad relationship that is HER CHOICE to deal with and she must accept the consequences of that choice or leave. if she finds a GOOD dom then she should SERVE HIM.

I enjoy spanking, hair pulling,and being swallowed but being obeyed is no bigger rush. I still hope there's one out there who can earn my trust.

< Message edited by Uncleduke316 -- 11/5/2011 2:32:28 PM >

(in reply to DomThoughts)

Post #: 9

RE: What emotions does being Dom invoke in you? - 11/5/2011 2:40:31 PM

Lockit

Posts: 10852
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

feminist ball busting two faced hypocrisy about equality that we do here

Classic...

_____________________________

Some days, I ought to come with a warning label.

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to Uncleduke316)

Post #: 10

RE: What emotions does being Dom invoke in you? - 11/5/2011 2:43:48 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 1685
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Meanwhile, on planet Earth . . .
Having a good man kneel, Serve and obey invokes the most pleasurable sensations, even before orgasm.
The Chinese phrase for it is 'you can eat the air', that you feel as if the atmosphere is supercharged and you can literally get power from deep breathing. I know chemically it's the delectable soup of adrenaline, endorphins, dopamine, oxytocin, and who knows what else, experienced as sexual arousal, lust, power, and the positive feedback loop of pleasure begetting more and more pleasure, and the knowledge that even after orgasm, there will be more and more pleasure from the good man kneeling before me.
Emotions? Pride in self and the good man before me.
Has to be desire and affection, otherwise it's just sex with a machine.
Aggression? Has to be some as I make the first move and direct the beautiful dance.
Excitement of never knowing precisely how we will react.
Ecstasy: soon!
Have to be empathetic towards each other for the basics: are you too hot/cold/tired/wet/hungry?
Euphoria: you bet!
Gratitude for finding a man whose desires are complementary to my own.
Hope and expectation of even more pleasure, along with curiosity.
Curiosity and desire
The hunger to touch and be touched.
I don't need love, but I need regard.
I feel protective of him; he's vulnerable, even untied.

Thanks! That was interesting.

_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

(in reply to Uncleduke316)

Post #: 11

RE: What emotions does being Dom invoke in you? - 11/5/2011 2:45:48 PM

myotherself

Posts: 5322
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

feminist ball busting two faced hypocrisy about equality that we do here

Classic...

good grief....

*headsdesk*

_____________________________

You fuzzy lil perv! ~ Sirsholly

If I say "bless yer heart" it means I think you're a twat. I'm just too polite to say so.

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 12

RE: What emotions does being Dom invoke in you? - 11/6/2011 2:05:48 PM

BurntKitty

Posts: 2588
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

feminist ball busting two faced hypocrisy about equality that we do here

Classic...

good grief....

*headsdesk*

Don't forget:

quote:

even in nature the natural order is the female serving the male.

In one post he bashes dominant women and submissive men, while trolling for a woman to support him. Just wow.

_____________________________

Cat Quotes

Count Boogie's Foot Fetish Anti Creepy Training video

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 13

RE: What emotions does being Dom invoke in you? - 11/7/2011 4:26:57 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 8119
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

I won't compromise on my goal: a submissive, sugaramma doormat who will worship at my feet. I don't need more than that. I'm simply old school.

In what universe are sugar mammas "old school?"

(in reply to Uncleduke316)

Post #: 14

RE: What emotions does being Dom invoke in you? - 11/7/2011 4:34:30 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 20308
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: online

quote:

ORIGINAL: Uncleduke316

having a woman do what I say is the ultimate rush. even in nature the natural order is the female serving the male. why do you think we see the lioness do all the work for the lion's benefit? do you think a male lion is completely unable to fend for himself if need be?in eastern societies men never have to suffer the feminist ball busting two faced hypocrisy about equality that we do here. if a woman makes the choice to serve a man she should SERVE plain and simple and be ready to make his happiness the focus of her life. i won't waste my time on a woman not into me. im too old to shovel shit against the tide and I won't compromise on my goal: a submissive, sugaramma doormat who will worship at my feet. I don't need more than that. I'm simply old school. I say you do or you get the belt. don't like it? out the door. acting as a dom just reinforces my feelings that im supposed to do this and that women are meant to serve in the back in a support role. it's just less bullshit when this happens. If a woman winds up in a bad relationship that is HER CHOICE to deal with and she must accept the consequences of that choice or leave. if she finds a GOOD dom then she should SERVE HIM.

I enjoy spanking, hair pulling,and being swallowed but being obeyed is no bigger rush. I still hope there's one out there who can earn my trust.

Uncleduke considering himself a Dom raises more emotions within me than myself being one.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Uncleduke316)

Post #: 15

RE: What emotions does being Dom invoke in you? - 11/7/2011 5:08:19 AM

Aynne88

Posts: 3623
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Uncleduke316

having a woman do what I say is the ultimate rush. even in nature the natural order is the female serving the male. why do you think we see the lioness do all the work for the lion's benefit? do you think a male lion is completely unable to fend for himself if need be?in eastern societies men never have to suffer the feminist ball busting two faced hypocrisy about equality that we do here. if a woman makes the choice to serve a man she should SERVE plain and simple and be ready to make his happiness the focus of her life. i won't waste my time on a woman not into me. im too old to shovel shit against the tide and I won't compromise on my goal: a submissive, sugaramma doormat who will worship at my feet. I don't need more than that. I'm simply old school. I say you do or you get the belt. don't like it? out the door. acting as a dom just reinforces my feelings that im supposed to do this and that women are meant to serve in the back in a support role. it's just less bullshit when this happens. If a woman winds up in a bad relationship that is HER CHOICE to deal with and she must accept the consequences of that choice or leave. if she finds a GOOD dom then she should SERVE HIM.

I enjoy spanking, hair pulling,and being swallowed but being obeyed is no bigger rush. I still hope there's one out there who can earn my trust.

Sorry sugartits but it's not old school to expect a sugar mama. Old school is taking care of your woman because if I am going to be spending all day serving, worshipping, and cock sucking, you better have a really good jobby jog, capiche?

Of course being a ball busting feminist, you could be the newly reincarnated Steve Jobs and I won't do that, but you get my drift....

Old school isn't leeching off your sub/slave. FFS.

_____________________________

Life is as dear to a mute creature as it is to man. Just as one wants happiness and fears pain, just as one wants to live and not die, so do other creatures.

His Holiness The Dalai Lama

(in reply to Uncleduke316)

Post #: 16

RE: What emotions does being Dom invoke in you? - 11/7/2011 5:09:47 AM

Aynne88

Posts: 3623
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

I won't compromise on my goal: a submissive, sugaramma doormat who will worship at my feet. I don't need more than that. I'm simply old school.

In what universe are sugar mammas "old school?"

Damn same time same idea, exactly! How ridiculous.

_____________________________

Life is as dear to a mute creature as it is to man. Just as one wants happiness and fears pain, just as one wants to live and not die, so do other creatures.

His Holiness The Dalai Lama

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 17

RE: What emotions does being Dom invoke in you? - 11/8/2011 3:16:49 PM

Awareness

Posts: 1297
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline

I'm afraid I'm going to have to play English language Nazi here - the word is "evoke".

And skimming the surface of the question - I tend to feel a sense of responsibility and am reminded of the need for self-discipline. That's not all, but it's as much as I'll say here.

_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to DomThoughts)

Post #: 18

RE: What emotions does being Dom invoke in you? - 11/8/2011 3:23:38 PM

Endivius

Posts: 948
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomThoughts

I had a discussion with a friend last night, about her reasons for being submissive and the feelings and emotions, and to a lesser degree the reasons why she needed to be submissive.

She then turned the question around, and I was honestly a little stuck, my primary interest is the mental and emotional understanding of someone, and then turning that into sadistic ploys! The primary motivation for me appears to be narcissism! (that could be 50% tongue in cheek)

Basically, my response to that question just felt a little weak, and now I'm curious how others here would answer that question. because I'm sure those answers would help me to understand my answer.

Thank you in advance!

I don't get warm and fuzzy inside, if that is what you are wondering. It does give me some vicious wood though..

_____________________________

Complacency Is the Enemy of Progress.

I'm not difficult or wierd; I'm complicated.

(in reply to DomThoughts)

Post #: 19

RE: What emotions does being Dom invoke in you? - 11/10/2011 7:37:13 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 677
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

Meanwhile, on planet Earth . . .
Having a good man kneel, Serve and obey invokes the most pleasurable sensations, even before orgasm.
The Chinese phrase for it is 'you can eat the air', that you feel as if the atmosphere is supercharged and you can literally get power from deep breathing. I know chemically it's the delectable soup of adrenaline, endorphins, dopamine, oxytocin, and who knows what else, experienced as sexual arousal, lust, power, and the positive feedback loop of pleasure begetting more and more pleasure, and the knowledge that even after orgasm, there will be more and more pleasure from the good man kneeling before me.
Emotions? Pride in self and the good man before me.
Has to be desire and affection, otherwise it's just sex with a machine.
Aggression? Has to be some as I make the first move and direct the beautiful dance.
Excitement of never knowing precisely how we will react.
Ecstasy: soon!
Have to be empathetic towards each other for the basics: are you too hot/cold/tired/wet/hungry?
Euphoria: you bet!
Gratitude for finding a man whose desires are complementary to my own.
Hope and expectation of even more pleasure, along with curiosity.
Curiosity and desire
The hunger to touch and be touched.
I don't need love, but I need regard.
I feel protective of him; he's vulnerable, even untied.

Thanks! That was interesting.

This. ^^^^^ All of it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

feminist ball busting two faced hypocrisy about equality that we do here

Classic...

This too. ^^^^^ No shit!!!

_____________________________

That's MS. Bitch to You. ;)

http://nicebutmeangirl.wordpress.com/

Using the same name on that "other" kinky site

(in reply to Tantriqu)

Post #: 20

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