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Is Long Term Faithful Triad Possible????


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Is Long Term Faithful Triad Possible???? - 11/23/2011 1:00:06 PM   
Fun1Couple


Posts: 22
Joined: 11/5/2011
Status: offline 		I was wondering if there are any success stories on a long term poly Triad where the Triad is faithful to each other? We have been looking for a while....it's very easy to find a sex partner for us but very hard to find someone willing to move in Long Term. Just wondering with all the vast experiences out there if there are any pointers or good info that could be provided. I think I have followed the rules this time LOL... It is very cool to see people respond to and comment on posts. Thanks and best wishes in all your searches , Thanks

< Message edited by Fun1Couple -- 11/23/2011 1:05:17 PM >
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RE: Is Long Term Faithful Triad Possible???? - 11/23/2011 5:19:40 PM   
SuzeQ


Posts: 253
Joined: 10/16/2011
From: Under her wing
Status: offline 		Yes they are possible. There are at least two such successful long term triads posting regularly on these boards. KnightofMists and his lovely women kyraofMists and alandraofMists, and LadyPact and her husband (whose screen name I don't know, if he even has one on here) and her slave LPslittleclip. Look for posts by any of them in this forum for their insights and wisdom. They have, without being aware of it, been a great help to the four of us, simply by posting their thoughts.

(in reply to Fun1Couple)
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RE: Is Long Term Faithful Triad Possible???? - 11/27/2011 11:32:30 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 4734
Joined: 7/1/2005
Status: online 		We have friends where the triad lasted almost 20 years. So, yes.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to SuzeQ)
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RE: Is Long Term Faithful Triad Possible???? - 11/29/2011 5:44:04 AM   
Mine4evr


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/22/2011
Status: offline 		A poly amorous triad only works when there is a balance of feelings and emotions ( and sexual situations, of course ).
When 3 people get that close its very easy to get caught up in the guilt and most of the time, JEALOUSY !
Is one person spending to much time with another ?, is it awkward when 2 of the people are enjoying each other and the 3rd walks in, ?
What are the boundaries ?, What are the absolute NO NOs .

Here is the point, ANY RELATIONSHIP requires COMMUNICATION, CONSTANTLY !

Something very innocent and meaningless can all of a sudden becomes very dangerous and hurtful because you have not discussed it yet.

All 3 partners have to be mindful about thier place in the relationship.

If 2 of the people were together first, was someone else brought in as an added excitement because eventually that will wear out and feelings will be hurt.
If all 3 talk AS A FAMILY and all are treated equally, you have harnony.

What are the individual roles for each, is one by nature more dominant or more submissive, do you know ?

ASK, ASK, ASK and I promise this can be a GLORIOUS thing for all concerned if handled correctly.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
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RE: Is Long Term Faithful Triad Possible???? - 12/21/2011 6:48:01 PM   
MissPains


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/15/2011
Status: offline 		I am currently in a poly relationship and we have been together for about 3 years (living together for about a year and a half). My boyfriend and I were together for 4 years when I started dating our partner. The two of them became close friends and eventually she moved in with us. We have definitely had our ups and downs, but as others have said, communication is KEY.

I think the best advice I could give anyone else is just to start slow and have no expectations. Let things evolve naturally. In the beginning I think we pushed a little too hard because we wanted this 3 person family to happen overnight - it just doesn't work like that. Most of us are raised experiencing 2 partner relationships and putting a third person in adds all kinds of complications to the mix. Every family is going to deal with them differently so deal with them as they pop up and talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.

(in reply to Fun1Couple)
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RE: Is Long Term Faithful Triad Possible???? - 12/21/2011 8:55:38 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 3267
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline 		I know of one group, a male Master and 3 ladies. I met them 7 1/2 years ago. How long they were together before I met them I have never asked. It seems to work well for them.

_____________________________

Home is where your story begins

(in reply to Fun1Couple)
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RE: Is Long Term Faithful Triad Possible???? - 12/21/2011 11:25:05 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 1537
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: New Brunswick, NJ
Status: offline 		I won't say it isn't possible but, I have been living a polyamorous lifestyle for quite some time, now and I can tell you that if there is not honest, open communication, it has been impossible.

I believe that many people have difficulty with the "open" part. Too many times people will "stuff" what they consider to be small issues, hoping that they will just work themselves out or disappear and those issues fester until they turn into big ones (or bigger than they needed to be).

Also, I believe that no matter what the level of physical intimacy, all involved must truly love one another. The least little sign of possessiveness on the part of one of the partners can easily bring the whole thing crashing down.

It is difficult enough to make a two-partner relationship work these days. Each time we add a new person to the family, we add that persons wants, needs, aspirations, quirks, and character defects (we all have them).

However, as others have said; if we have open , honest communication amongst all of the family members, I believe in my heart of hearts that people that truly love each other can find a way to work things out.



Peace and comfort,



Michael

_____________________________

25 years ago, we had: Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope. Today, we have Barrack Obama, No cash, and no hope.

http://www.youtube.com/user/LibertarianMichael 10 APR 12 - Life (Pt.2)

(in reply to peppermint)
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RE: Is Long Term Faithful Triad Possible???? - 12/22/2011 11:29:10 AM   
RexCorvus


Posts: 84
Joined: 11/27/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Fun1Couple
I was wondering if there are any success stories on a long term poly Triad where the Triad is faithful to each other?

I know of one personally (I think, I'm not 100% clear on the exact arrangements and don't make it my business to ask), and I've run across a few via the Internet. It's rare, but beware of deciding that that means the failure rate of triad relationships is especially high. How many exes do most people have? Each of those represents a relationship that failed on some level. There just aren't that many people out there trying to make triads work, so even if most of them did succeed they'd be pretty rare. The same is not true for monogamous relationships - even if 90% of them don't last there'd still be plenty of of long term examples.

I'll second what other folks said about communication and the need for openness. I'm less on board with some of the ideas that there has to be a balance, or everyone has to be on equal footing. What's more important is that everyone is having their needs met, whatever those are. I've known of poly relationships where two of those involved were really, really close, and the third spent a lot less time with the others because they wanted and needed more space. Typically the best way to make sure everyone is getting their needs met is for all involved to ask for what they want, and for the others to hear them and do what they can to meet those needs.

No matter what, relationships are hard sometimes. The good ones are sooooo worth it, though. That goes for mono and poly alike, in my opinion.

(in reply to Fun1Couple)
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RE: Is Long Term Faithful Triad Possible???? - 12/22/2011 2:44:55 PM   
MissPains


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/15/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RexCorvus

I'll second what other folks said about communication and the need for openness. I'm less on board with some of the ideas that there has to be a balance, or everyone has to be on equal footing. What's more important is that everyone is having their needs met, whatever those are.




I definitely agree with this. I would say that 70 percent of my "relationship energies" are spend on my gf/slave and 30 on my male partner. I love them both equally, but differently, but he needs much less than she does in general.

(in reply to RexCorvus)
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RE: Is Long Term Faithful Triad Possible???? - 12/22/2011 2:50:43 PM   
MissPains


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/15/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

I believe that many people have difficulty with the "open" part. Too many times people will "stuff" what they consider to be small issues, hoping that they will just work themselves out or disappear and those issues fester until they turn into big ones (or bigger than they needed to be).



This times 1,000,000.... I can't tell you how many times I said the phrase, "I don't know if you don't tell me". There were many times where underlying "small" issues were left to fester because my partner "didn't want to bother me" and then they came out at the worst time and ended up being a big fight. You should never expect your partner to be psychic, never assume that they know how you feel. This is true in any relationship, but when adding the complexities of polyamory, things like this should be addressed immediately!

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
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RE: Is Long Term Faithful Triad Possible???? - 12/23/2011 7:33:49 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1089
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		as mentioned above long term is possible my wife actualy recomends i go and see my Mistress. i am slave to LadyPact but married to my wife who is vanila i am respectfull to my MIstress S/O but not submissive to Him there have been issues that have had to be dealt with i even was jealous at one point when i did not know i would be, i dealt with it and was ok but it does show how it can become a issue when its not expected.each member of the relationship has to feel important/special ect.. that said there are more than 3 relationships to the group and each has its own meaning and importantce to the whole.

_____________________________

proud to serve the awsome
LadyPact

(in reply to MissPains)
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RE: Is Long Term Faithful Triad Possible???? - 12/24/2011 11:13:21 PM   
Miserlou


Posts: 262
Joined: 12/20/2011
Status: offline 		that sounds very complicated.

_____________________________

Misery

and the history books forgot about us

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RE: Is Long Term Faithful Triad Possible???? - 1/2/2012 8:36:23 AM   
PolyDomme365


Posts: 4
Joined: 5/29/2011
Status: offline 		I have had two Triad relationships that were very fulfilling. They were both intended to be long-term but for different reasons did not end up being longer than a few years. I do firmly believe that with the proper time and care take to develop any relationship, and as long as all parties are passionate and determined, the magic can go on and on!

All the best in your search.

Ms K and girl

(in reply to Miserlou)
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RE: Is Long Term Faithful Triad Possible???? - 1/2/2012 10:45:37 AM   
ConnossuerofPain


Posts: 22
Joined: 10/1/2011
Status: offline 		We have had several others part of Our family and it worked well as long as the communication was there. Unlike some, Ours is based on hierarchy and each knows the pecking order. We have guidelines that are in place and those entering agree to them fully. It is not for everyone,as there is a lot of time devoted to management of time and other personal needs.
Depending on your wants and needs, depends on whether or not it will succeed. When taking on a third or more you have to have a solid foundation between the primary partners first and have the boundaries set in stone(only to be explored with everyones approval).
                                                      Shane and Lily

< Message edited by ConnossuerofPain -- 1/2/2012 10:49:34 AM >

(in reply to PolyDomme365)
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RE: Is Long Term Faithful Triad Possible???? - 1/2/2012 2:49:43 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 6464
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I seen this thread soon after it was originally posted and avoided it for the most part. The question from the OP.. Who likely is gone back into the wood work... Is a rather simple question on it's surface with an equally easy answer of "yes it's possible.

But, what is long term? Is time the measure that matters? Sure time would seem to reflect that it is being successful but not always. Sometimes a relationship goes on a lot longer than it should.

Problem is time is the only objective measure one has to identify a successful and thriving relationship. We could of course as the various relationships if they are happy etc etc. But then tomorrow a lot of these relationship come to an end and so much for their supposed happiness.

But relationships are not objective... They are in fact highly subjective and rather difficult to carry on for any great length of time.

So in the end I think the question is an important one. The answer is yes it's possible but it is much more likely for them not to last that to last. I would also say that it's even more important to appreciate how one is able to make that last. A question that is much harder to answer.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

"Respect.... It is the ability to see people as they are, to be aware of their unique individuality" Eric Fromm

(in reply to Fun1Couple)
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RE: Is Long Term Faithful Triad Possible???? - 1/2/2012 7:11:50 PM   
ConfidencePlays


Posts: 39
Joined: 10/17/2011
Status: offline 		Am involved in a long term, faithful, happy [crazy happy. Life is awesome.], poly relationship right now. So ... ostensibly, yes.

What's our secret? Simple, clear communication as often as possible about anything and everything. Good and bad. No judgment, no hard feelings, just expressing what we want, what we need, and what's making us happy.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: Is Long Term Faithful Triad Possible???? - 2/23/2012 8:55:21 AM   
LoreBook


Posts: 257
Joined: 2/22/2012
Status: offline 		Yes it is absolutely possible. My maternal grandparents were in a triad for over 25 years until my grandfather died, and my grandmothers still live together.

_____________________________

WITHOUT "ART" THE EARTH IS JUST "EH"



LLT

(in reply to ConfidencePlays)
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RE: Is Long Term Faithful Triad Possible???? - 3/5/2012 3:52:53 PM   
Fun1Couple


Posts: 22
Joined: 11/5/2011
Status: offline 		Thanks everyone for the posts and positive thinking.

(in reply to LoreBook)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Is Long Term Faithful Triad Possible???? - 3/6/2012 2:42:07 AM   
PolyIrishMiss


Posts: 90
Joined: 12/20/2011
Status: offline 		Yup I was part of a wonderful one that lasted almost 4 years. My Mistress, myself and our slavegirl. It only ended because our girl had reached a stage in her life where she needed to belong to herself. The break up was completely mutual and she is still one of my best friends, as well as a hardcore 'puter gaming partner. It worked for us in part because we had a defined but flexible hierarchy. Mistress at the top of the pile, me as alpha and the Kitten abeing...well the Kitten actually, but when things cropped up we tended to deal with them first as girlfriends and only if that failed in a D/s way.

The other reason we worked was realising that the challenge in poly is honesty, and coping with guilt as well as jealousy. Example, our Kitten was often slightly jealous, but only needed to be reassured with a cuddle, or even a text message to be alright again. I on the otherhand tend to be guilty rather than jealous. I still struggle with this though I am starting to gain the upperhand. Mistress tells me that mostly she found my constantly romantic nature to be a real pain int he ass sometimes, hence my randomly painful ass.

Am I the only one who's ended up punished for buying roses? *shrugs*

Eventually we all came to the realisation that the challenge in monogamy is being monogamous. But that the greatest challenge in polyamory, for us at least, is the need for absolute honesty. That realisation came about because about a year in I made a new friend (Russian, talented, loving, stunningly beautiful, and really well tattooed. Think Audrey Hepburn, if she had been a teeny Russian 50's style gothgirl.). I had, still have, a huge crush on her. And I told them both. Faces crumpled, tears were shed, and suddenly everyone realised that the thing which had hurt us all the most was one of us not hiding anything.

We worked through it. Kitten and Anya are still my two best friends and favourite crushes. And everyone keeps telling me to not give up, that I'll find another little one to love. :-) Now if I could just help Mistress to find a nice boyfriend.

_____________________________

My Blog.

http://amandaharper.wordpress.com/

(in reply to Fun1Couple)
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RE: Is Long Term Faithful Triad Possible???? - 3/9/2012 12:15:11 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 1152
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		very much so, I have friends that are in a "throuple" (couple plus one) . they have been together for almost 10 years so far. another poly family that has four people involved; the original couple has been together for 14 yrs, the first addition has been there for 5 yrs and the latest for 3 yrs. another throuple for 15 yrs. so yes it works, but communication is KEY!

(in reply to PolyIrishMiss)
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