RE: Power structures and poly

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RE: Power structures and poly - 11/29/2011 3:07:51 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 6464
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Good Morning, KoM. You may be right. It might have been more clear for Me to say that there is no power imbalance when it comes to just MP and Myself. I find that a lot of people don't get that when it comes to D/D couples or even s/s couples.

And a lovely good evening to you. I must say that it is strang to me that people don't get the D/D or s/s couples. Our society of today is rather predominatingly egalitarian and I am pretty sur most have been exposed to it. Don't know why coming into this lifestyle people leave their knowledge at the door. A lot of is still very applicable.

quote:

Always a pleasure to talk with you, KoM. My best to your household.

And pleasure to chat with you. All the best to you and those you hold dear.

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Knight of Mists

"Respect.... It is the ability to see people as they are, to be aware of their unique individuality" Eric Fromm

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RE: Power structures and poly - 11/29/2011 3:36:57 PM

SixMore2Go

Posts: 190
Joined: 7/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

I must say that it is strang to me that people don't get the D/D or s/s couples. Our society of today is rather predominatingly egalitarian and I am pretty sur most have been exposed to it. Don't know why coming into this lifestyle people leave their knowledge at the door.

Meself, I believe that this is so because far too many are of the mind that as a dominant, they must not admit equality of power with another. That to do so would lessen their dominance, and therefore, it is their assumption that a D/D couple must indeed have a hidden hierarchy.

I have, also found that the majority of such fellows are the sort who judge their dominance by how they are perceived by others.

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RE: Power structures and poly - 11/30/2011 4:46:31 AM

Ogrelord999

Posts: 113
Joined: 6/9/2011
From: United states
Status: offline

Oh well met than , My apologies it appeared to me like this was turning into a cyber-pissing contests , and really lifes too short for that crap. However as thats now cleared up let me try to explain.

Now I was a Soldier at 17 and raised by a psychotic Veteran of WWII and Korea ... as such I adhear to most of the basic principles of my upbringing. Understand that I am well aware I am not any longer on the battlefield nor am I enlisted. I do find however the adhearance to the basic concepts have always leo work crews d to comfort , security , knowledge , security and happiness of any group I have led. This spans from family to work crews. It is easily Modifed for the civillian world here at home as well.

1) Know yourself and seek self-improvement.

MOST Men think they need to be the pinnacle of all knowledge and will Lie to try to maintain dominance ...a wise one knows that the only constant is change ... any "ignorance" is nothing more than an opportunity to learn. If one cannot develope this honesty and self inflection ...hes lost and ergo cannot guide others.

Be technically and tactically proficient.
...know your shit ... self explanatory.

Seek responsibility and take responsibility for your actions.

As my Oldman used to say " sitting on a fence only get you a sore Ass... Your in or out ... from dogs to lovers if your hesitatnt and unsure no one and nothing will follow you.

Make sound and timely decisions. Hand wringers are not leaders

Lead by example. Do as you say!

Know your soldiers/people/lovers... and look out for their well being.

Keep your subordinates informed. obviously no one likes to be kept in the dark , Knowing and stating your expectations clearly allow those who serve under you to feel confident in their abilites and your trust in them leaving them devoted and assured of their position

Develop a sense of responsibility in your subordinates. " First rule of leadership is delegation of authority" ... Make subs responsible for elements of their existance and your "house" there again providing boundries and a sense of "belonging" and inherant value and security.Ensure the task is understood, supervised and accomplished. Employ your Subs in accordance with Thier capabilities.

Does that clear things up a bit ?

< Message edited by Ogrelord999 -- 11/30/2011 4:48:07 AM >

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" Cold hearted Orb that rules the night ... steals the colors from our sight, red is grey and yellow white, but we decide which is right ... and which is Illusion." ~ Moody Blues

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RE: Power structures and poly - 12/5/2011 8:21:37 PM

caramel73

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/17/2011
Status: offline

PLEASE I Need help.I am a nubee whose DOM

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RE: Power structures and poly - 12/5/2011 9:40:14 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1089
Joined: 9/29/2007
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as my Mistress has stated She has the power in the D/s that the 2 of U/us have and Her other half has a balance of power between the 2 of Them. for me i have another as my wife is not in the lifestyle so ours is a ballanced one based on ability and availabilty. as i am in the army i do lead as i am a nco so i understand the point of view of the dominants i am not one in the lifestyle as i am a service oriented slave it is what i am

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RE: Power structures and poly - 12/9/2011 2:26:18 AM

Ogrelord999

Posts: 113
Joined: 6/9/2011
From: United states
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Hmmmm ... excelent point ... I think it depends on the degree of seperations between lifestyle and say Vanilla responsabilities ... If I told you I was "MASTER OF MY DOMAIN" ...it would be at lest partially horeshit ... In the Boudior yes ... In the house? hell no! ... I let her paint the bathroom what ever damned color she chooses ... as long as I have "bog" roll when I drop a duce , why bother being offended. Simply put it amuses her and doesnt confront me so ... and we divide the house ... My steampunk den is my territory as is my mancave ... no one dictates there but me ... you have to divide areas of authority to keep peace

I think in the D/D case mayhaps its "hidden" hierarchy (imho... there is always one ... were social pack driven animals at heart) comes from areas of expertese.

It amazes me how many are ego driven and wish to present a front as if they have never made a mistake , never lost control of a situation ... thats horseshit , and if they havent ? than truth is their titles are supposed as their Metal has never been tested.

AS AN EXAMPLE of my own ignorance ... I dont get s/s households ... I accept them and dont thing negatively but its like being a slave , or a male homosexual or a flamingo ... I just cannot concieve it simply due to my nature but navigate the world by just accepting they have their reasons ... not everything we dont understand requires someone to undergo "retraining" ..."it is what it is " so I move on... Does that make any sense?

_____________________________

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.
~Socrates

" Cold hearted Orb that rules the night ... steals the colors from our sight, red is grey and yellow white, but we decide which is right ... and which is Illusion." ~ Moody Blues

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RE: Power structures and poly - 12/9/2011 2:29:03 AM

Ogrelord999

Posts: 113
Joined: 6/9/2011
From: United states
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Thank you for your service Brother ... I was A 19D Cavalry Scout HHC 1/8 Cav !st cavalry division. After wrangling knuckleheads all day I can certainly see why someone would say "You Steer!" LOL ... Godspeed!

Ogre

_____________________________

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.
~Socrates

" Cold hearted Orb that rules the night ... steals the colors from our sight, red is grey and yellow white, but we decide which is right ... and which is Illusion." ~ Moody Blues

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Post #: 27

RE: Power structures and poly - 1/2/2012 11:06:23 AM

ConnossuerofPain

Posts: 22
Joined: 10/1/2011
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There must be structure,especially in a M/s type House. Their is hierarchy, and each slave has his/her place in the house. Spreading out the power leads to mutiny in one form or another. It's my House My rules. I will consult with my primary slave(yet who is extremely Dominant over others..I allowed this aspect to grow), but will ultimately make the final decision. When bringing in others to the house, the members currently residing are informed.

Shane

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Post #: 28