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real sub slaves - 1/3/2012 7:20:12 PM

waterloverlol

Posts: 6
Joined: 6/28/2011
Status: offline

Ya know the boys are always complaining that they can't find a real Mistress...always tribute Dommes, no lifestylers.

But if you had to guess estimated on your email, how many sub/slaves are for real and not in it just for their brief jollies?

I think the percentage is pretty low

Post #: 1

RE: real sub slaves - 1/3/2012 7:21:51 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 22262
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

So what's your point?

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Post #: 2

RE: real sub slaves - 1/3/2012 7:26:04 PM

MsLadySue

Posts: 981
Joined: 12/18/2004
From: Ottawa, Ontario
Status: offline

I would agree with you from my experiences here.

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Post #: 3

RE: real sub slaves - 1/3/2012 7:39:21 PM

mummyman321

Posts: 1611
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Cincinnati
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: waterloverlol

Ya know the boys are always complaining that they can't find a real Mistress...always tribute Dommes, no lifestylers.

But if you had to guess estimated on your email, how many sub/slaves are for real and not in it just for their brief jollies?

I think the percentage is pretty low

I prefer for my jollies not to be brief!

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Post #: 4

RE: real sub slaves - 1/3/2012 7:51:33 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 4803
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

I think the Navy has cornered the market on real sub slaves...

I also think that a majority of the men who list themselves as submissive are in fact, fetishists. Not that there is anything wrong with fetishists, and this site certainly doesn't offer the option of choosing fetishist. Of those who are in fact inclined to submit and serve, I believe to be rare and highly valued.

I'd assume that most of them are 'real' regardless of whether or not they are fetishist, submissive, slaves or wankers. I have yet to come across Pinocchio on this site, but I imagine if I did - his nose and a few well timed lies would make him highly valued as well.

WinD

(in reply to mummyman321)

Post #: 5

RE: real sub slaves - 1/3/2012 9:03:41 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 677
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

~FR~
I can't really say percentages, but I think part of the problem is CM, unlike Fetlife, doesn't offer the options of fetishist, bottom, and kinkster. I think if some of the people on here who pick sub or slave on CM had those other options, they'd use them. They just aren't given those choices and that's not their fault. Based on my own inbox, I'd say somewhere less than half could use those other choices if they were given. That's cool, there's nothing wrong with being a fetishist/bottom/kinkster rather than a sub/slave, again, there's just not the ability on CM to choose that. People have to work with the choices given them.

NBMG

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Post #: 6

RE: real sub slaves - 1/3/2012 9:06:34 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 22262
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

The number of men misrepresenting themselves is pretty high on Fetl also. I blame the interwebs!

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Post #: 7

RE: real sub slaves - 1/3/2012 9:10:21 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 677
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

The number of men misrepresenting themselves is pretty high on Fetl also. I blame the interwebs!

Yeah, there's always that too.

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http://nicebutmeangirl.wordpress.com/

Using the same name on that "other" kinky site

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Post #: 8

RE: real sub slaves - 1/4/2012 11:25:23 AM

MistrixMsE

Posts: 175
Joined: 1/3/2010
From: Chicago, USA - Touring Internationally
Status: offline

Agreed.. most I hear from are do-me kinksters, fetishists, or guys who think offering to 'serve' is a direct line to quick and easy free sex without the trouble of courtship. I have been lucky to have found some excellent service subs/slaves here, but for every 10 whom I even give a thought to consider for a moment its lucky if 1 is sincere.

I like simple tests at first... ask them to bring me a loaf of a certain specialty nummy european bread I am fond of from a specific bakery when they meet me the first time (or something similar). If they cant take the extra 30 minutes & $10 to make a good impression at the first meeting in person, it says a lot. Especially since it really is my favorite thing to eat from the old country.. reminds me of my grandmother. I am a much nicer lady when in food coma too.. so it's to their advantage, lol.

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Post #: 9

RE: real sub slaves - 1/4/2012 11:35:24 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 22262
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I'm amazed that no one has fluttered in with the "Oh, another male sub bashing thread!" comment! My new hobby is the "hide" function, I am hiding everyone on the other side that is a no-go based on their profiles. Verrry few light blue letters left!

And thanks to MsE, now I want some bread and butter.

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Post #: 10

RE: real sub slaves - 1/4/2012 11:40:37 AM

Ninebelowzero

Posts: 2421
Joined: 8/5/2011
Status: offline

Not sure it is male sub bashing, what MSE said is entirely valid IMO. Most are here for the 1st time & want to be a slave, or say they do but few even know what it means. Let alone service.

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Post #: 11

RE: real sub slaves - 1/4/2012 11:41:30 AM

Lockit

Posts: 10852
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

All it takes is one... okay, maybe two good ones and all the bad ones are worth the hassle. I don't always like wading through them, but it is what it is, anywhere, even in real life and not online. Go to a bar, a church, a restaurant, a group of whatever kind and you will still find a high number of men into whatever for the pussy and not for anything more than what the pussy can do.

When it gets to the point, you don't know what the hell to do when you find a good one because you haven't seen one in so long and it isn't just like riding a bike(!), we have a problem. So far... I think I still have this.

If I lose it... well that would be my problem eh? Then ET, chick flicks and music can take me away... To hell with the bad ones, I am trying to focus on the good ones.

So far, a few good men keep me hoping I can find one I can keep all the time and have fun with.

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Post #: 12

RE: real sub slaves - 1/4/2012 11:49:32 AM

searching4mysir

Posts: 1115
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ninebelowzero

Not sure it is male sub bashing, what MSE said is entirely valid IMO. Most are here for the 1st time & want to be a slave, or say they do but few even know what it means. Let alone service.

Add to that the confusion between being a bottom vs. being a sub/slave....I have a feeling that a lot of the guys here are really bottoms, not submissives but lack the ability to say what they really are. And then when they are young, it is all about the cock (dang teenage hormones)....

(in reply to Ninebelowzero)

Post #: 13

RE: real sub slaves - 1/4/2012 11:53:47 AM

MSubEdinburgh29

Posts: 29
Joined: 1/3/2012
Status: offline

I'm a newbie here, and noticed this thread, and couldn't help but notice that my idea of a slave or submissive seem to differ slightly.

I thought a submissive was someone who was sexually submissive, but not necessarily submissive outside of the bedroom. My idea of a slave is someone who submits to their master/mistress on all levels, and that could well involve no sexual contact whatsoever.

Have I got that wrong, is there an 'accepted' definition of these types?

I classed myself as submissive, but maybe I'm not? That doesn't make me dishonest, it means I am ignorant!

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 14

RE: real sub slaves - 1/4/2012 11:54:37 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 22262
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

All it takes is one... okay, maybe two good ones and all the bad ones are worth the hassle. <snippage> So far, a few good men keep me hoping I can find one I can keep all the time and have fun with.

YEPPER! Now if I could find one that I like in my same area code, instead of in other states or countries... but the fact that really spectacular men are out there, and are actually my friends? Brilliant!

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Post #: 15

RE: real sub slaves - 1/4/2012 11:57:48 AM

Fornica

Posts: 2955
Status: offline

'tis different for everyone :)
My definition in my relationships is TPE..for someone else it might be something else...yk?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MSubEdinburgh29

I'm a newbie here, and noticed this thread, and couldn't help but notice that my idea of a slave or submissive seem to differ slightly.

I thought a submissive was someone who was sexually submissive, but not necessarily submissive outside of the bedroom. My idea of a slave is someone who submits to their master/mistress on all levels, and that could well involve no sexual contact whatsoever.

Have I got that wrong, is there an 'accepted' definition of these types?

I classed myself as submissive, but maybe I'm not? That doesn't make me dishonest, it means I am ignorant!

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Post #: 16

RE: real sub slaves - 1/4/2012 11:58:32 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 22262
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MSubEdinburgh29

I'm a newbie here, and noticed this thread, and couldn't help but notice that my idea of a slave or submissive seem to differ slightly.

I thought a submissive was someone who was sexually submissive, but not necessarily submissive outside of the bedroom. My idea of a slave is someone who submits to their master/mistress on all levels, and that could well involve no sexual contact whatsoever.

Have I got that wrong, is there an 'accepted' definition of these types?

I classed myself as submissive, but maybe I'm not? That doesn't make me dishonest, it means I am ignorant!

EEh, semantics!! A circle of hell where I rarely venture.

I don't want to say that you're doing it wrong, but it's true that your definitions aren't all that close to what's mostly accepted. To which I say, BIG DEAL. The important thing is that you are clear and honest about what you are and what you are looking for. If you want to just be a "bedroom player" and have equity elsewhere, SAY SO and don't approach with the idea that you want a female led relationship.

LOTS of kinky folks are only top/bottom at parties or in their bedrooms. Nothing wrong with that, the problem comes in when the menz want to serrrrve but they really mean "get between your legs for half an hour then watch the game".

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Post #: 17

RE: real sub slaves - 1/4/2012 12:07:08 PM

Lockit

Posts: 10852
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MSubEdinburgh29

I'm a newbie here, and noticed this thread, and couldn't help but notice that my idea of a slave or submissive seem to differ slightly.

I thought a submissive was someone who was sexually submissive, but not necessarily submissive outside of the bedroom. My idea of a slave is someone who submits to their master/mistress on all levels, and that could well involve no sexual contact whatsoever.

Have I got that wrong, is there an 'accepted' definition of these types?

I classed myself as submissive, but maybe I'm not? That doesn't make me dishonest, it means I am ignorant!

There have been many long and dangerous threads about what is what and what is the difference. I keep it rather simple, because I really like simple except in brain cells.

To me and only to me, I am not talking for anyone else, a submissive is: someone that submits inside and outside the bedroom/dungeon.

A bottom: Is someone that submits only in the bedroom/dungeon.

A slave: Is totally under my control willingly and may not have a say in many matters according to our initial agreement. It is total power and control and something I seriously doubt I would do or have because I really like the submissive types and those types of dynamics and relationships. I know that my view of this is far different than others.

I believe for my relationships... most are sexually mine to have or have not. lol Some don't have sex with their submissives or slaves... but I like my sex and if I can't have sex with them... except for reasons of mental or physical health... they aren't for me.

_____________________________

Some days, I ought to come with a warning label.

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to MSubEdinburgh29)

Post #: 18

RE: real sub slaves - 1/4/2012 1:03:08 PM

MSubEdinburgh29

Posts: 29
Joined: 1/3/2012
Status: offline

Without going into a discussion about definitions, I think I've made a point in that it is possible to falsely mis-represent yourself purely because you are ignorant of the 'correct' terminology. It would seem that I am in fact, a 'bottom' (a term I have never heard before in my life).

I think Lady Hibiscus is right - so long as you're clear in your intentions, then no-one is being misled.

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 19

RE: real sub slaves - 1/4/2012 1:07:30 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 22262
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MSubEdinburgh29

Lady Hibiscus is right

Just keep repeating this~

HA! I crack myself up~

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