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RE: Slaves with baggage-- off limits?


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RE: Slaves with baggage-- off limits? - 1/21/2012 7:23:03 PM   
Arturas


Posts: 1337
Joined: 2/21/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

Hello. Do you always call strangers "dude" in such a disrespectful manner? What have I or tam done to earn such disrespect?

You are also wrong in both your statements. More to the point, why would you ask something like this in this thread? Is this the Arturas and Tammy question thread?

While on the subject of me updating my profile and journal, what's wrong with me removing something in both my profile and journal that was planned but not executed, so wrong you would highjack a perfectly good thread to imply I cannot make changes and because I did, that somehow something is wrong and somehow you know more than she and I about our own relationship? I find your post one of the most curious I've ever encountered. Hopefully you will not make it a habit of highjacking someone's thread like this.

I should think you would apologize in cmail to me and tam and to the OP for disrespecting the thread topic. To the Op I am horrified (tam is actually out for the moment but I am going to share this with her and of course she will roll her eyes and say "why are you on there, are you crazy?", again) at this persons post and hope the thead will continue on topic.

We wish you all well.


Wtf? Apologize? To you?
How about you apologize to the OP at the very least and the readers of this forum as well? Your posting under false pretenses nullifies your contribution to it, which makes it off topic from way back when you came into the discussion.



What post is false and what is false about it?

_____________________________

When her will bends to yours she will blossom like a flower under the warm spring rain and bright radiant morning star. She will surrender her all to you and lay in your arms thankful to join her soul with yours, her Master.

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Slaves with baggage-- off limits? - 1/22/2012 8:21:01 AM   
Arturas


Posts: 1337
Joined: 2/21/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas


quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

Hello. Do you always call strangers "dude" in such a disrespectful manner? What have I or tam done to earn such disrespect?

You are also wrong in both your statements. More to the point, why would you ask something like this in this thread? Is this the Arturas and Tammy question thread?

While on the subject of me updating my profile and journal, what's wrong with me removing something in both my profile and journal that was planned but not executed, so wrong you would highjack a perfectly good thread to imply I cannot make changes and because I did, that somehow something is wrong and somehow you know more than she and I about our own relationship? I find your post one of the most curious I've ever encountered. Hopefully you will not make it a habit of highjacking someone's thread like this.

I should think you would apologize in cmail to me and tam and to the OP for disrespecting the thread topic. To the Op I am horrified (tam is actually out for the moment but I am going to share this with her and of course she will roll her eyes and say "why are you on there, are you crazy?", again) at this persons post and hope the thead will continue on topic.

We wish you all well.


Wtf? Apologize? To you?
How about you apologize to the OP at the very least and the readers of this forum as well? Your posting under false pretenses nullifies your contribution to it, which makes it off topic from way back when you came into the discussion.



What post is false and what is false about it?


I believe we have an answer but no reply. Please continue the thread unabated and on it's original topic if anyone desires. I'm taking tam to dinner and and a movie tonight and I certainly will make it known how proud I am of her as a great woman, friend, submissive and mate, 24/7, even if we both have some baggage to carry and may still because some of our baggage is who we are and the danger is changing that person too much and making her something you did not fall in love with, I'm thinking

< Message edited by Arturas -- 1/22/2012 8:24:17 AM >

_____________________________

When her will bends to yours she will blossom like a flower under the warm spring rain and bright radiant morning star. She will surrender her all to you and lay in your arms thankful to join her soul with yours, her Master.

(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Slaves with baggage-- off limits? - 1/22/2012 9:01:18 AM   
outhere69


Posts: 1202
Joined: 1/25/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas
quote:

ORIGINAL: outhere69
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas
So we are now and have been 24/7 for 18 months now. She still has children and they are a plus actually, I've watched them grow and the boy especially with a male role model in the home and I with the help of others here and her own real efforts, got her off off her addiction to CM and she now has as great number of friends off site and local and she is well on her way in a career she cares about. She still smokes but that ends this coming Sunday, wish me luck! The jeep is gone and in it's place is a reliable Mitsu sedan just her size.

So, slaves with baggage -- off limits? No, not unless you want to have a slave in your fantasy only, andnt I suggest a slave without bagage would not want a master because all masters have baggage, especially this one.

Well wishes,
Arturas
quote:


Umm...nice profile and journal editing, dude.  You were single several days ago, and tammy's still single on her profile. 

Hello. Do you always call strangers "dude" in such a disrespectful manner? What have I or tam done to earn such disrespect?

You are also wrong in both your statements. More to the point, why would you ask something like this in this thread? Is this the Arturas and Tammy question thread?

While on the subject of me updating my profile and journal, what's wrong with me removing something in both my profile and journal that was planned but not executed, so wrong you would highjack a perfectly good thread to imply I cannot make changes and because I did, that somehow something is wrong and somehow you know more than she and I about our own relationship? I find your post one of the most curious I've ever encountered. Hopefully you will not make it a habit of highjacking someone's thread like this.

I should think you would apologize in cmail to me and tam and to the OP for disrespecting the thread topic. To the Op I am horrified (tam is actually out for the moment but I am going to share this with her and of course she will roll her eyes and say "why are you on there, are you crazy?", again) at this persons post and hope the thead will continue on topic.

We wish you all well.


Let's see.  You both had single profiles until a few days ago (Tammy's says she's taking time out for herself and her kids), and you've been posting for several months. Tammy posted a huge long thread in the past about how she didn't feel like she was getting your support around the house.  All was not sweetness and light;  we would've heard all about it.

No relationship runs sweetness and light 24/7.  I don't ding you for having problems in the past; I do whack you for misrepresenting your current relationship.

As for apologies, yep it developed into a hijack, and I apologize for that.  I don't apologize for your behavior.  And "dude" is a unisex greeting of any formality shy of the Queen's High Tea.

eta: fixed a quote error


< Message edited by outhere69 -- 1/22/2012 9:03:09 AM >

(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Slaves with baggage-- off limits? - 1/22/2012 5:21:30 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 16400
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		Can't say it any better than this:







Attachment (1)

< Message edited by tiggerspoohbear -- 1/22/2012 5:22:04 PM >

_____________________________

I don't speak fluent idiot, please type slowly.
Team Troll trollop, by full permission of Troll Enterprises, Suckretary & Official Answerer To Idiotic Posts
Zab'eeta Regal O' Da'Merlyn Et Oriono Bosh Lu Inunsey'd
Lu Inunsey'd Regal Et Ya

(in reply to outhere69)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Slaves with baggage-- off limits? - 1/22/2012 7:03:42 PM   
outhere69


Posts: 1202
Joined: 1/25/2011
Status: offline 		Yeah, but are they using TSA-approved locks?

(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Slaves with baggage-- off limits? - 1/22/2012 7:44:21 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 16400
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		Penguins never travel without them! 

_____________________________

I don't speak fluent idiot, please type slowly.
Team Troll trollop, by full permission of Troll Enterprises, Suckretary & Official Answerer To Idiotic Posts
Zab'eeta Regal O' Da'Merlyn Et Oriono Bosh Lu Inunsey'd
Lu Inunsey'd Regal Et Ya

(in reply to outhere69)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Slaves with baggage-- off limits? - 1/22/2012 8:48:59 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2031
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		everyone has baggage... the key is to not have more than you can carry... so to speak...

in the end though, one should come to any relationship with as much self actualization as possible, the best sense of self (self awareness), hopefully with a great deal of emotional intelligence and having worked or be working on one's issues -- you shouldn't rely on someone new to work out your issues from the past... knowledge of them is good.. expecting someone else to help you work them out isn't so good

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to indiorane)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Slaves with baggage-- off limits? - 1/22/2012 8:54:14 PM   
NyxPontia


Posts: 224
Joined: 1/8/2012
Status: offline 		This whole thing reminds me of Rent.

Roger: I've Been Trying, I'm Not Lying,
No One's Perfect, I've Got Baggage.

Mimi: Life's Too Short, Babe, Time Is Flying,
I'm Looking For Baggage That Goes With Mine.


_____________________________

"Bleeding Is Believing, Bleeding Is Breathing." Natalie Imbruglia

A slave without a collar is just the mammal form of a chicken with it's head cut off.

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Slaves with baggage-- off limits? - 1/24/2012 4:16:09 AM   
Arturas


Posts: 1337
Joined: 2/21/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: outhere69

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas
quote:

ORIGINAL: outhere69
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas
So we are now and have been 24/7 for 18 months now. She still has children and they are a plus actually, I've watched them grow and the boy especially with a male role model in the home and I with the help of others here and her own real efforts, got her off off her addiction to CM and she now has as great number of friends off site and local and she is well on her way in a career she cares about. She still smokes but that ends this coming Sunday, wish me luck! The jeep is gone and in it's place is a reliable Mitsu sedan just her size.

So, slaves with baggage -- off limits? No, not unless you want to have a slave in your fantasy only, andnt I suggest a slave without bagage would not want a master because all masters have baggage, especially this one.

Well wishes,
Arturas
quote:


Umm...nice profile and journal editing, dude.  You were single several days ago, and tammy's still single on her profile. 

Hello. Do you always call strangers "dude" in such a disrespectful manner? What have I or tam done to earn such disrespect?

You are also wrong in both your statements. More to the point, why would you ask something like this in this thread? Is this the Arturas and Tammy question thread?

While on the subject of me updating my profile and journal, what's wrong with me removing something in both my profile and journal that was planned but not executed, so wrong you would highjack a perfectly good thread to imply I cannot make changes and because I did, that somehow something is wrong and somehow you know more than she and I about our own relationship? I find your post one of the most curious I've ever encountered. Hopefully you will not make it a habit of highjacking someone's thread like this.

I should think you would apologize in cmail to me and tam and to the OP for disrespecting the thread topic. To the Op I am horrified (tam is actually out for the moment but I am going to share this with her and of course she will roll her eyes and say "why are you on there, are you crazy?", again) at this persons post and hope the thead will continue on topic.

We wish you all well.


Let's see.  You both had single profiles until a few days ago (Tammy's says she's taking time out for herself and her kids), and you've been posting for several months. Tammy posted a huge long thread in the past about how she didn't feel like she was getting your support around the house.  All was not sweetness and light;  we would've heard all about it.

No relationship runs sweetness and light 24/7.  I don't ding you for having problems in the past; I do whack you for misrepresenting your current relationship.

As for apologies, yep it developed into a hijack, and I apologize for that.  I don't apologize for your behavior.  And "dude" is a unisex greeting of any formality shy of the Queen's High Tea.

eta: fixed a quote error



She's taking time out from CM for herself and her kids and she has done great being away from CM. I'm not inclined push her to go back on here for your satisfaction. It is true we are like many couples, we do have our ups and downs and it is true that Tam and I were on the edge of a breakup at one time, I think during that post many are linking to lately, and that frankly we had some growing experiences since then to deal with our baggage.

It is also true she never left, nor said she left, as one pointed out here. The conclusion that I am a liar and that somehow we are not the way we really are is based on some very weak and flawed analysis and a very big reach.

As far as an apology, the apology benefits you, not me, in giving you the opportunity to prove you are better than one might think and it is up to you to step up to that.

Finally, we, tam and I, don't care if you believe we are together or not.


P.S. If the question drives you crazy you might write her on facebook, she has current pictures of her, me, the house, her new uniform, the dogs, maybe even the horse, and her current status, and you might even ask her for crying out loud.

< Message edited by Arturas -- 1/24/2012 5:12:53 AM >

_____________________________

When her will bends to yours she will blossom like a flower under the warm spring rain and bright radiant morning star. She will surrender her all to you and lay in your arms thankful to join her soul with yours, her Master.

(in reply to outhere69)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Slaves with baggage-- off limits? - 1/24/2012 7:44:10 AM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3520
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: online 		Why is having pets considered baggage? Did she really give up her animals for you? If this is true, and she got rid of animals she supposedly cared about to be with you, then Tammy really is a pathetic loser. You two deserve each other. Jesus, you must be so proud.
I have three dogs, two horses, a cat, and a flock of hens. I am committed to taking care of them, and no man would ever convince me to throw them away.

Everything below is quoting Arturus, I messed up the quote and my iPad will not let me fix it.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas
:


Tam and I met here on CM three years ago or so. Then she had little income of her own but was going to school. She has fibro. She has children, liked to stay on the CM forums forever and so had no local friends, she loved having several dogs, smoked and had an old jeep that smoked too and no income. That was then and naturally these are red flags but you should understand that submissives tend to have baggage as a natural part of being submissives. So one learns they need to be guided and they crave this and you can read it in their profile pleas, explictly or between the lines, and you should soon realize they are very real in this need and that is one reason they are here looking for you, so don't think being a Dom is going to be easy...it is not. Be prepared to be patient yet firm and work on her baggage as she will work on yours since you surely have some too and it will not happen overnight.

So we are now and have been 24/7 for 18 months now. She still has children and they are a plus actually, I've watched them grow and the boy especially with a male role model in the home and I with the help of others here and her own real efforts, got her off off her addiction to CM and she now has as great number of friends off site and local and she is well on her way in a career she cares about. She still smokes but that ends this coming Sunday, wish me luck! The jeep is gone and in it's place is a reliable Mitsu sedan just her size.

So, slaves with baggage -- off limits? No, not unless you want to have a slave in your fantasy only, andnt I suggest a slave without bagage would not want a master because all masters have baggage, especially this one.

Well wishes,
Arturas


< Message edited by Iamsemisweet -- 1/24/2012 7:50:01 AM >

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Slaves with baggage-- off limits? - 1/24/2012 8:18:11 AM   
Fornica


Posts: 2955
Status: offline 		This is a pretty generalized, asinine statement. It would sort of be like me saying "Dominant" men on CM have delusions of grandeur, no?
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

That was then and naturally these are red flags but you should understand that submissives tend to have baggage as a natural part of being submissives. So one learns they need to be guided and they crave this and you can read it in their profile pleas, explictly or between the lines, and you should soon realize they are very real in this need and that is one reason they are here looking for you



_____________________________

There is no spoon.

CM Collaborative Cookbook
www.feedingdragons.com

(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Slaves with baggage-- off limits? - 1/24/2012 11:40:37 AM   
lizi


Posts: 3012
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

What post is false and what is false about it?


I believe we have an answer but no reply. Please continue the thread unabated and on it's original topic if anyone desires. I'm taking tam to dinner and and a movie tonight and I certainly will make it known how proud I am of her as a great woman, friend, submissive and mate, 24/7, even if we both have some baggage to carry and may still because some of our baggage is who we are and the danger is changing that person too much and making her something you did not fall in love with, I'm thinking


You "believe we have an answer but no reply."? What does that even mean? If it was because I wasn't here for a while due to being busy and unable to answer, then I'm calling BS on that as it's one of your favorite topics - how people spend too much time on CM. You sure have been here  a lot recently, much more than your usual pattern- you might want to ask Tammy for pointers on how she kicked her CM habit if it's getting to be an issue for you to be on here. I myself have things to attend to over the next few months that will require frequent absences from here, sorry if that discombobulates you.

My issue was with you asking for an apology because another poster saw your posting about being 24/7 with your partner and pointed out it wasn't the case. You had asked your partner to leave in this thread- http://www.collarchat.com/m_3742544/mpage_53/tm.htm,  post #1047. If you are posting on a thread claiming one thing while clearly giving the impression of another thing in the past, plus the other things that were brought up about profiles and such, then that isn't accurate is it? It wasn't a thread hijack to point out the discrepancy, seems like if you post as to the topic of having baggage and are basing it on the premise of being 24/7 with someone and all that it entails, which you enumerated in your post, then it should be clear that the base you are posting from is valid.

Who are you to decide who should apologize anyway? If, say, there was an incident of someone using another account to post from, that would I think be an incidence where an apology should be forthcoming. We actually have had people apologize for doing that. But it's in the hands of the person being deceptive to decide what to do about that. It's more of a personal judgement call, you asking for something like this just makes you look like a pompous ass.



(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Slaves with baggage-- off limits? - 1/24/2012 7:03:32 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 1297
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline 		  Yes.

Dysfunction is everywhere in this lifestyle.  I won't have a bar of it.  I strongly prefer women who are submissive because they understand themselves, not because they're broken and seek someone to perpetuate their shitty sense of self-worth.


_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to indiorane)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Slaves with baggage-- off limits? - 1/24/2012 9:06:33 PM   
outhere69


Posts: 1202
Joined: 1/25/2011
Status: offline 		Not all of 'em.  Folks are folks, and either side of the kneel can exhibit foolishness.

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Slaves with baggage-- off limits? - 2/2/2012 8:41:46 PM   
Xperimentwme


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/26/2012
Status: offline 		Anyone should put their last relationship behind them before moving on to the next. This is even more important in D/s, as it adds an extra dimension to the relationship.

Even someone that would serve as a slave only should not be distracted by old feelings. They will not be able to serve completely...

(in reply to indiorane)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Slaves with baggage-- off limits? - 3/26/2012 7:11:06 AM   
desiretobeaslave


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		depends what kind of baggage you mean

If for you the Meaning is that finding a Master resolves ALL your problems (and that's what you really want) and I explain that you are being too weak to face your own problems so you need a Master/Dom to do so for you then...

you have along way ahead of you


In any other case....it depends on the nature of your "baggage" and of course the Master/Dom

In my personal belief no one is tabula rasa


(in reply to Xperimentwme)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Slaves with baggage-- off limits? - 3/26/2012 11:48:15 AM   
LunaM


Posts: 183
Joined: 3/3/2012
Status: offline 		"Baggage" goes both ways.
I agree with DarkSteven on this one, and Kana, of course.
It's not so much baggage as it is life experiences. I have two young kids and three dogs. That could be considered baggage but to me they are all my kids, furry and fleshy, and have molded me into the woman I am. My Master does not have any children of his own and was living the care free bachelor life before he met me. He didn't see my kids, dogs, as baggage rather something that was along for the ride as we started to journey forward.
He has certain triggers as I have certain triggers. We have worked those out together because we want a relationship together. As J Krishnamaturi said "If you are, therefore, the whole of mankind, what is your relationship to another without psychological future?"
As in without a past, who are we now? It gives excellent talking pointers to discuss and learn about each other and hopefully grow in your own relationship.


_____________________________

~BloodRed's Slave~

~Love is our response to our highest values and can be nothing else~

~And yet she had never felt more totally committed to a will, which was not her own, more totally a slave and more content to be so~

(in reply to desiretobeaslave)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Slaves with baggage-- off limits? - 3/26/2012 12:09:22 PM   
hellionsLight


Posts: 241
Joined: 10/18/2011
From: Kearney, NE
Status: offline 		In an ideal world, I would have loved to work out my problems before Master and I decided to be in this relationship. I realize, though, that could take a lot longer than I wanted to wait. We are dealing with our issues together, although there was a lot of things I figured out before we started. I still have a lot to sift through, and so does he.

_____________________________


(in reply to Diablo1)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Slaves with baggage-- off limits? - 3/29/2012 1:24:10 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 5697
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Arturas,

This is not meant as snarky.

I find it interesting that you no longer have Tam up on your profile as a friend.

For both your sake's I hope you are each in a situation that makes you both happy whether that is together or apart.


_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVLR6znrpOU


30 fluffy points!

(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Slaves with baggage-- off limits? - 3/29/2012 5:53:22 AM   
temujin11


Posts: 8
Joined: 3/1/2011
Status: offline 		We all have baggage.

Some of us have backpacks, others have steamer trunks.

If a sub cannot detach herself from an ex, I'd rather go to Amsterdam or Toronto for a few days!

(in reply to indiorane)
Profile   Post #: 100
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