RE: Female subs don't respond to messages on this site

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RE: Female subs don't respond to messages on this site - 2/24/2012 9:46:44 PM

CyrusKell

Posts: 26
Joined: 4/7/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ
We get messages like that all the time.

What interested me in the messages from my Master was that He asked me thoughtful, interesting questions.
There was no, hey, would you like to chat?, and if there was a :what brings you to this site" question, it was framed in a interesting way.
Remember, He had a blank profile when He first made contact with me.
I got to know Him primarily through our cmail dialogues.
His questions and especially the thought He put into them made me want to know more about Him.

He's got better writing skills than I do

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
My experience is that one in ten 'no thank you's garnered nasty comments in return. How many times do you think we ought to accept being told 'your(sic) too fat to fuck' before we stop replying? The death threats and stalking are even worse.

Well, my comment was mostly directed towards messages that were at least semi-friendly
Abusive ones like your example I see no problem with delete+block

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Beyond that a profile that says you don't know what you want re short or long term, re bondage y/n, doesn't appear dominant.

Had a rather long term relationship end badly not too long ago. We had lots of fun, she loved being tied and teased, almost never had any fights and when we did, they were resolved quickly. 3 months after the split she was engaged to an old boyfriend of hers.
While I have been wanting some female companionship, I haven't been in a hurry to aim for something beyond a few dates

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

quote:

ORIGINAL: CyrusKell
[snip] Personally I think [snip]

You'll notice I took out every word in your post except for three of them. Don't you find in life that you're much happier when you don't expect the rest of the world to conform to your views?

Thank you for ignoring the possibility that the words "personally I think" would imply an opinion.

(in reply to lizi)

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RE: Female subs don't respond to messages on this site - 2/25/2012 3:11:31 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CyrusKell

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ
We get messages like that all the time.

What interested me in the messages from my Master was that He asked me thoughtful, interesting questions.
There was no, hey, would you like to chat?, and if there was a :what brings you to this site" question, it was framed in a interesting way.
Remember, He had a blank profile when He first made contact with me.
I got to know Him primarily through our cmail dialogues.
His questions and especially the thought He put into them made me want to know more about Him.

He's got better writing skills than I do

No, He doesn't, your scenarios weren't badly written.
You just need to put the same kind of thought into your emails that you did with those.

Your emails need to relate to something specific in her profile that caught your eye.
Specificity is important.
What is it about this woman that caught your eye because women will know if you are specifically interested in her or if you are just looking for a(ny) woman.

But keep the discussion to non-sexual, unless her profile is filled with the same types of fantasies as yours...and even then talking about "vanilla" interests lets her know you are looking for the whole woman and not just a quick kink hook-up.

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RE: Female subs don't respond to messages on this site - 2/25/2012 5:14:15 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL : DesFIP
My experience is that one in ten 'no thank you's garnered nasty comments in return. How many times do you think we ought to accept being told 'your(sic) too fat to fuck' before we stop replying? The death threats and stalking are even worse.

Well, my comment was mostly directed towards messages that were at least semi-friendly
Abusive ones like your example I see no problem with delete+block

but semi-friendly is subjective, isn't it? WHat the emailer may perceive as at least semi-friendly may not come across as such to the recipient. Thus the advice to tailor an email to something specific to the woman/man being approached in such a way that it doesn't touch on kink/appearance but instead focuses on what about the PERSON has caught the eye.

(I personally pretty much ignore the "hay! u haz nice ass!!" types of emails. WHile the sender may see that as friendly compliment, *I* see it as someone that isn't seeing ME as a whole person, just as an example)

< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 2/25/2012 5:16:53 AM >

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RE: Female subs don't respond to messages on this site - 2/25/2012 12:23:41 PM

PolyDommesgirl

Posts: 75
Joined: 6/17/2011
Status: offline

Aderious

It seems you think you know jack.

Do some research next time you attack me. At least give me a challenge.

At this moment you bore me.

dee.

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RE: Female subs don't respond to messages on this site - 2/25/2012 12:41:41 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CyrusKell
Well, my comment was mostly directed towards messages that were at least semi-friendly
Abusive ones like your example I see no problem with delete+block

Cyrus, you misunderstand. The first message was always hi, how are you or something generic like that. To which I then responded no thank you. The abusive messages always came in response to me saying no thank you.

If I didn't respond to the first email, then I would never get the second one which was the abusive one.

If your writing skills need improvement, then fix them. Otherwise in another year or five you will still be complaining of not getting responses whereas if you spent the time now improving your writing skills, then next year you might get a response.

As far as you being just out of a relationship and not looking for anything serious off the bat, put that into your profile. Maybe someone else in the same boat would want a fwb. But when we read your profile we don't get a sense of who you are. Do you like to fish? Or watch old movies? Hike or go bouldering? Read history books or fix cars? All those small things that go into making you who you are need to be conveyed. And they're not.

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RE: Female subs don't respond to messages on this site - 2/25/2012 1:36:53 PM

Killerangel

Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Cyrus, you misunderstand. The first message was always hi, how are you or something generic like that. To which I then responded no thank you. The abusive messages always came in response to me saying no thank you.

If I didn't respond to the first email, then I would never get the second one which was the abusive one.

If your writing skills need improvement, then fix them. Otherwise in another year or five you will still be complaining of not getting responses whereas if you spent the time now improving your writing skills, then next year you might get a response.

As far as you being just out of a relationship and not looking for anything serious off the bat, put that into your profile. Maybe someone else in the same boat would want a fwb. But when we read your profile we don't get a sense of who you are. Do you like to fish? Or watch old movies? Hike or go bouldering? Read history books or fix cars? All those small things that go into making you who you are need to be conveyed. And they're not.

Guys like him and the OP always misunderstand. They have to have someplace other than themselves to blame. They'll complain about the lack of manners, or how touchy women on this site are, or not having stellar writing skills, or the fact that women are too demanding, etc. Anything in order to bypass the personal responsibility aspect. You know, if I never got any answers to my messages I'd go find out why at least. Get some knowledge about it rather than toss out some excuse that makes me feel better, but doesn't answer the question. In fact either guy could write the best message in the world and it won't be responded to if the woman feels he is too far for her or too young or too old or whatever.

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RE: Female subs don't respond to messages on this site - 2/25/2012 2:12:49 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

When I didn't have any luck on eHarmony or match, it never occurred to me to blame the sites. I just realized they weren't good matches for me and moved on.

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