sunshinemiss -> RE: Had sex with someone who was treated for an STD (3/22/2012 8:12:52 AM)
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ORIGINAL: young12serve I don't want to go off the topic. Whether I should be blaming myself is not the point here. I'm not talking about blame. I'm talking about responsibility. If you realize that you DIDN'T bring it up, that's good information to have. You can then remember this and take responsibility to bring it up next time. Without taking responsibility for the choices we make we are just victims. It is a duty of every individual to inform the other if they are putting them at risk higher than average (higher then average, meaning STDs which are not common. I am not talking about HPV here). I call bullshit. You are choosing to engage in high risk BEHAVIORS. That's why we use the word "risk". It's nobody's job to take care of you - except yours. You choose to put your hand in the cookie jar, don't be surprised if a monster bites it on occasion. Not everyone has the same morality you have. And I notice that you did not take on the responsibility to alleviate your partner's worries by saying, "Hey just FYI - I'm disease free." In this day and age, I find it difficult to believe that people don't realize that sex is a risky behavior. Heck people in the 1600s knew that even before the internet and magazines and television were blasting it everywhere. You can blame me for being ignorant, but consider this logic: why discuss something that doesn't need discussion? Ex. "Hey, I just wanted to let you know I infected you with HPV, but you know, you probably already had it anyway, as 80% of people do". Even if it is true, it's gonna freak someone out, especially if this was a one-night stand. You know you are taking a risk with more common STDs, such as HPV, herpes. What? I have no idea what you just said (of course it is after midnight and all but usually I'm good until about 1 a.m. I don't know what that all said though). But if you are intentionally infecting someone with uncommon STDs without telling them (or telling them after the play) then that's running into criminal sphere. Intentionally infecting someone is way different than having an outbreak and not realizing it. I'm just curious what an uncommon STD is. But that's a rhetorical question. I am concerned with this scenario, not whether I am ignorant or lacking morals to bring it up beforehand. I understand that, and you've gotten some good advice around that. Frankly, I think it's a mountain out of a molehill since she ALREADY TOLD YOU that she had something and it was treated and it went away (your own words). What's interesting to me is that you you don't trust her. If she said it went away, why are you not believing her? If it's the truth, it's still the truth. If it's a lie, she'll continue to lie. What is the point in calling her again? You may not realize it but this could be one of those "opportunities for growth" in which you learn what to do for yourself so that next time you don't go through this angst. good luck to you, sunshine
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